Clarifying Your Values

What do you stand for? What are the organising principles of your life? What are your core beliefs? What virtues do you aspire to, and hold in high regard when you see them demonstrated by others? What will you not stand for? What would you sacrifice for, suffer for, and even die for?

What are your values?

These important questions are only asked by about 3% of the population, and that very small minority tends to be the movers and shakers in each society.

When I began this exercise some years ago, my list had 165 qualities that I aspired to.  I think I wrote down every virtue, value or positive descriptive adjective that referred to personality and character contained in the dictionary.  And I agreed with all of them. I felt they were all important and I wanted to incorporate every single one of them into my character. Then reality set in.  I realised that it is extremely hard to learn even one new quality, or to change even one thing about myself, let alone hundreds of things. So I scaled down my ambitions and narrowed the values down to a much smaller number that I could manage and work with. Once I had settled on about five core beliefs, I was able to get to work on myself and start making some progress in character development.

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This is something everyone can do.  Firstly,  write down the five values that you feel are the most important for you to live by. Once you have those five values, then organise them in your order of priority. Which is the most important value in your hierarchy of values? Which would be second? Which would be third? Which would be fourth? Which would be fifth?

Every single choice or decision you make is based on your values. Whenever you decide between alternatives, you invariably choose the alternative that you value the most. And because you can only do one thing at a time, everything you do is a demonstration of what you consider to be the most important at that moment. Therefore, organising your values in an order of priority is the starting point of personal strategic planning. It is only when you are clear about what you value, and in what order, that you are capable of planning and organising other activities of your life.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put this into action:

First, clarify your core beliefs and your unifying principles. Write them down and compare your life today with the values that are really important to you. How do they compare?

Second, organise your values in order of their importance to you. Which of your values is most important? Which is second? And so on. Do your current choices reflect this order of values?

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Perception

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are affected by our perceptions – delight and despair come from within rather than from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious cause us no end of grief.

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Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

The Universe is often unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we make of it.

Take working in a job you dislike, what if you were able to think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

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To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. The wonder on their faces and the curiosity is amazing to watch.  You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your perspective, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Shopping in charity shops – Is there a stigma?

When you walk along most high streets you will find several charity shops.  There are those that raise funds for animals, those that raise funds for research, those that raise funds to aid people, those that raise funds for a hospice or hospital.  All are for good causes and are usually well supported.

There are many and varied reasons that people donate to charity shops, and equally many and varied reasons why people buy from charity shops.

Let’s take the reasons people donate first.  There are those who donate their items because they no longer want or use them and they feel there is life left in them. They feel that they could be used and enjoyed for a few more years by someone else.

There are those who donate their items because they don’t work, are broken or have pieces missing. They would rather do that and let the charity shop dispose of it than take it to the tip or put it in the dustbin themselves.  They may feel they are doing someone a favour, but in fact the charity shop ends up having to pay someone to take these items away.

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Now let’s take the reasons buy from charity shops.  There are those who buy from charity shops because the items are priced at much below usual retail prices. They have a budget to spend on clothes, shoes etc., and find they get good value buying in a charity shop.  There are those who buy from charity shops to support their preferred charity.  There are those who buy from charity shops to buy upmarket items at a reduced price so they feel and look good but would never admit they bought the items in a charity shop. I am sure there are many more reasons too.

Whatever the reasons, more people will buy from a charity shop that looks clean, is bright and inviting, is laid out properly and has friendly staff.

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I saw a news item on the television the other evening explaining how a company is upcycling shop fittings that have been thrown in the skip or are no longer required to refit charity shops.  The results are amazing in that shops that were previously cramped and dour looking, are now able to display their items to their best advantage and thus sales have increased.  Additionally, the refitted charity shops have reported that their donations are of higher quality now than before the refit.

I would rather go into a bright and cheerful, well laid out shop than one that is crowded, cramped and often smelly.

I can’t see anything wrong with buying second hand clothes or items.  I remember there used to be shops in Carnaby Street in the 1960’s where second hand clothes were sold and it was the fashionable thing to do, so it is nothing new. These day, there are, of course, costumes and festival clothes for sale both at festivals and in the surrounding areas to enhance the festival experience.

Getting our lives back after divorce

Is there a stigma attached to buying items from a charity shop?  In some people’s eyes yes there definitely is, in other people’s eyes no there isn’t, and of course there are those who don’t know.

The charity shops fill a gap in the market.  They occupy what would otherwise be empty shops.  They employ a manager and give volunteers the opportunity to learn about retail and also give back to the community.

Do you shop in charity shops? I would love to hear your views on this subject.  Get in touch and let me know what you think.

 

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Do you know where your beliefs and values come from?

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.

You are not truly aware of what someone else’s reality really looks like, and they are not truly aware of what your reality looks like. You are only aware of your own reality and how it looks to you.

Don’t believe me?  Take a simple scenario.  A road traffic accident, where nobody is hurt, fortunately, when one car hits another car.  There are three witnesses.  A policeman will ask each witness what he or she saw.  There will be three completely different perceptions of the same incident.

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For instance, one person might state that they saw the first car brake suddenly, so the driver of the car behind (being far too close in their perception) braked really hard but the car was going too fast and ran into the car in front with a loud bang.

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking.

The third person witnessed the first car slow down too much so the driver of the car behind (which wasn’t going too fast) couldn’t quite stop in time (though they tried) and hit the car in front really hard.

Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar.

How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions.  Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

So what are your beliefs?  They are your views, judgments, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everything else you come into contact with.

Your beliefs filter everything you see, hear and feel around you and, as a result, determine the meaning you attach to any event. Your beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think that you can’t do something and then find it extremely difficult to do and give up trying, you have successfully fulfilled your belief that you can’t do it.

What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it?  Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs, whether they be limiting or empowering, determine your actions, and your actions in turn verify your beliefs. Over time, as you collect more evidence to prove your beliefs, your beliefs become your reality.

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind,  they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

 

There are some beliefs you view as absolute truths and never question – that is just the way the world is! A change in your beliefs can have a major impact on how you live your life and the behaviours you manifest.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said: ‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’

How right he was.

Your beliefs can have a significant effect on your life, particularly your health.

To quote Ian McDermott and Joseph O’Connor, from their book NLP and Health, (Thorsons, 1996), in a typical clinical situation, about thirty-five percent of all cases receive as much pain relief from a placebo as from morphine – simply because the recipients believe it will work.’

That is a very interesting observation isn’t it?  The subconscious mind believed it had been given a strong painkiller, and therefore the pain was relieved.  This happened because the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between the truth and anything else it is told.

But what about your beliefs?  How can you verify them?

Well, many hundreds of years ago people were told, and believed, that the world was flat. Today there are probably still some people who continue to believe this. It is easy to see how this belief was once so prevalent.  Just look at the ground beneath your feet – it’s flat.  In the distance you may be able to see a few hills and valleys, but these are just ripples on an otherwise flat surface. All of the land is surrounded by water and it seems quite logical to have once believed that if you sailed far enough you would eventually fall off the edge of the world. Those who set off to sail the seas and never returned were testament to this.  Obviously those who did return, just hadn’t sailed far enough!

flat world

You will have noticed how this belief proved its own validity. Therefore that reality was true.

The flat-world belief was very useful in explaining and predicting phenomena in a very small area when there were no satellites, there was no television and there were no news broadcasts and no other means of communication other than verbal messages passed from one individual to another. More importantly, it made the people in that localised area feel comfortable and safe in this reality.  However, by discouraging wider exploration, it was also a very limiting belief.

But you can challenge this belief and put your life ‘at risk’. You can let go of the limiting belief of a flat world and explore other possibilities.  You can entertain new and more expansive beliefs, which other people may view as equally limiting or indeed as impossible. All these beliefs are equally valid.

Do you currently have beliefs that keep your reality comfortable and safe and that prevent you from exploring your true potential?  Do you choose to acknowledge only the reality that is predicted by your limiting beliefs and then use these observations as proof that your current reality is indeed true?

Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and set sail into the unknown?  To push the boundaries of what you think you know and discover new lands and opportunities – to challenge yourself to create your new reality?

Does that sound like something you would like to experience? I work with clients face-t0-face, on the phone and via Skype.  The choice is yours. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Contact me today for a free chat on how we can start moving you from a place that is not so great in your life to a place of enjoyment.

 

Maggie Currie

Email: hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Beliefs

We all have beliefs, most of which have been programmed into us from a very young age and most of  us don’t question them.  There are beliefs that cannot be changed, and that is just the way it is and we have to accept it.  But there are lots of beliefs that we hold that may not be relevant now.
Here is a true story which will illustrate just how easily we are ‘programmed’
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A young couple got married, and when it came to cooking the Sunday roast, the young wife picked up her joint of meat, broke the bone in it and folded it before putting it in the roasting tin.  Her new husband asked her why she had done this.  She replied ‘That’s the way my mother always does it’.
A few weeks later, the young couple were invited to her parents’ house for Sunday lunch, and the young husband was intrigued as he watched his mother-in-law pick up her joint of meat, break the bone and fold it before putting it in the roasting tin.  He asked his mother-in-law why she did this.  She replied ‘That’s the way my mother always does it’.
A month or so later, the young couple went to have Sunday lunch with her Grandmother.  The young husband was still intrigued by the breaking of the bone before putting the joint in the roasting tin, and so he mentioned to his wife’s Grandmother how his wife and his mother-in-law both broke the bone in the joint of meat before putting in the roasting tin, and that his mother-in-law learned it from the Grandmother, and his wife learned it from his mother-in-law.  He asked if she could shed any light on this for him.
The Grandmother replied ‘Do they still do that?  I used to do it because my roasting tin was very small and unless I broke the bone, I couldn’t fit the joint in it’.
That is how simple it is to be ‘programmed’.
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I have a belief that there is good in everybody. This belief comes from parents who told me this many years ago and therefore I have believed it for all this time. I have not had any reason to challenge this belief before and therefore it has just sat there in my mind.

I have challenged this belief, and I now believe that there is good in most people but not everybody. I discovered something about a person I know that was unpleasant, nauseating and which shook me to the core. That belief is now buried forever, and the new belief has replaced it.

10 beliefs I hold:

  • I believe there is a higher being, but I am not sure what or who it is.
  • I believe that working hard reaps great rewards.
  • I believe that honesty is always the best policy.
  • I believe that marriage is an equal partnership and that to be best friends as well is vital.
  • I believe I have masses to offer to other people to help them become the very best version of themselves.
  • I believe I made some huge mistakes whilst bringing up my children.
  • I believe that friends are attracted to me rather than me going out to find them.
  • I believe in general humans think they are superior to other creatures.
  • I believe change can be brought to this planet by drip feeding positive thoughts.
  • I believe in the power of the Universe

I have challenged the belief that there is good in everybody because it has been proved to me that this is just not the case. Therefore this belief is easy to change and will remain changed unless it can be disproved to me that there is good in most people.

I had a belief that my intuition (inner self, spirit, gut instinct) is infallible. It has shown me that it is not. My belief now is that I can trust my intuition up to a limit, but that consideration will have to be made in the future to ensure my gut instinct is not destroyed and continues to protect me.

 What are your beliefs? Are there any that need looking at or adjusting?  Take a look and you might just be surprised.

Contact me today, and we can have a chat on how I can help you. There is so much more information for you to see about my coaching on my website, take a look.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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Looking at your values

Our values are often inherited from our parents, and they inherited them from their parents.  But are they relevant to us now?  There are many reasons why values change, sometimes they just don’t fit right.
I admire people for different reasons. for instance:
  • Rafael Nadal for his focus, hard work, talent.
  • Oprah because she is self-made, courageous, giving.
  • Mother Teresa for being selfless, courageous, honest, generous.
  • My dad (no longer with us) because he was true to himself, honest, kind, generous, loving.
  • My husband for being caring, loving, generous, selfless, hard working.

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There are some values that appear in several of those people and my values incorporate all of those and of course others. For instance one of my values is to be consistent in my life, whether it be working, relaxing or whatever.

Values will always changes as we progress through life. We will meet more people who we admire and perhaps some of the people we currently admire will change their values, and we won’t agree with them.

 Values change as our circumstances change, i.e. going through divorce and in the aftermath.  Now we have to focus on ourselves and not on making a marriage work.
I like to keep an open mind and check in with myself every so often to make sure I keep my values true to me.
Are there any values you have now that are not fitting right? Check in with yourself to make sure your values are true to you.

Get in touch today and we can have a free informal chat on how I can help you to take action and rediscover your values.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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