Bitterness

It is natural to feel resentment or anger when life doesn’t unfold as expected. We consciously or subconsciously anticipated one experience, and we grieve for the loss of it when the universe puts something else in our path. Most of the time, we work through these feelings and they pass. Occasionally, our anger and resentment don’t fade and are instead transformed into bitterness. Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain. Yet as unwholesome as bitterness can be, it is also a natural element of our emotional palette. When we acknowledge that it is okay to feel bitter, we reconnect with our hurt in a constructive way and can begin the process of working through it.

The nature of bitterness is rooted in the fact that the pain we feel provides us with a rationale. We may feel that we deserve to embrace our bitterness to its full extent. And to be bitter is, in essence, to cut ourselves off from all that is positive, hardening our hearts and vowing never to let go of our hurt. But just as bitter feelings can be self-defeating, so too can the release of bitterness be life-affirming in a way that few other emotional experiences are. When we decide that we no longer want to be bitter, we are reborn into a world filled with delight and fulfillment unlike any we knew while in the clutches of bitterness. The veil it cast over our lives is lifted, letting light and warmth touch our souls.

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Divesting yourself of bitter feelings can be as simple as truly forgiving and moving on. Even when your bitterness has no concrete object, you can forgive situations too. Healing pain can be challenging but may be easier if you remind yourself that you are the only entity truly affected by your emotional state. In time, you will discover that letting go of your bitterness frees you to initiate the healing process and allows you to once again celebrate the possibility of the more wonderful life you deserve.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Attitude Follows Perspective

Shifting our mood.

We all have days when we are faced with chores, errands or responsibilities that we don’t want to do.  At times like these it is easy to get into a bad mood and stay in one as we tackled these tasks.  However, given the fact that our bad mood will not change the fact that we have to do these things, and will most likely make things worse, we could also try to shift our attitude.  Many wise people have pointed out that it is not so much what we do as it is is how we do it that makes the difference in our lives. 

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It is important when we are facing something that is really hard for us, whether is doing tax returns, paying bills or visiting a challenging relative, that we lovingly support ourselves through the process.  The more supported we feel, the easier it is to open our minds to the idea that we could change our way of looking at the situation.  In truth, most of the chores we don’t like doing are intimately intertwined with our blessings.  When we remember this, we feel gratitude which makes it hard to stay in a dark mood.

We can shift our attitude by considering how much we love our home as we clean it and how lucky we are to have a roof over our head.  Any task can be transformed from a burden to a necessary aspect of caring for something we love.  All we have to do is shift our perspective, and our attitude follows shortly behind. 

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you.  

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Family life and looking after YOU.

Many of us have a hard time balancing taking care of ourselves with taking care of our family responsibilities. For people with young children, this can be especially challenging, but even people without children may have obligations to care for extended family, partners, pets, and the home in which they live. It’s easy to lose track of our own needs as we give ourselves to the people, pets, and places we love. However, it is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer when we return home each day.

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It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a work surface that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don’t set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even if it is only half an hour to yourself each day. There are times when even that will not be possible—for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. Or take just ten minutes to read a few paragraphs of a book. This will help you to relax and rebuild your strength.  Make sure you spend at least ten minutes, preferably thirty minutes, on yourself during the day.  Or even have two or three ten minute breaks just for you.

 

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Most of the time, though, it is possible to set aside a full hour for yourself each day. In addition, scheduling a longer interval of time, perhaps on a weekly basis, can really help to restore your energy. Get a massage or go to see a film or have an evening out with a friend. Taking time to experience the world outside of your home makes returning home all the more wonderful. In the same way, taking care of yourself is a natural complement to taking care of your home and family.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

What I offer is coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Make sure you are ‘being’ as well as ‘doing’

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of coaching with me that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their  sessions can often be the only time in a busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Hand on heart, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for, I had the focus and drive to work really hard and I was making good progress.  And yet, I wound up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  If this was what achieving my goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a human doing instead of a human being” and I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months I could think of few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and just be.

 

So how much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?   If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be?

piechart

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do you choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself and I’m certain that I’m much more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

What time could you make for yourself to just be?  When could you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that to relax and recharge?  How much better would you feel if you did?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?   If you’d like to see how working with me as your coach could help you, call me for a free conversation on 01983 754666.  Make time for yourself to work on you.

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When you coach with me you will discover your authentic, true self,  find and live your passions, live the starring role in your own life, not the ‘support act’ in someone else’s. How much value do you put on your life?

My coaching will give you all you need to become self-assured so that you can face life head on.  Expect to be challenged, excited, to laugh, to cry, learn new things, relearn old things in new ways, step out of your comfort zone and make some minor and some significant changes.

One to one coaching or group coaching is available.  Call me to find out more. This could be the first step you take to transform the look and feel of your life — forever!

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Clarifying Your Values

What do you stand for? What are the organising principles of your life? What are your core beliefs? What virtues do you aspire to, and hold in high regard when you see them demonstrated by others? What will you not stand for? What would you sacrifice for, suffer for, and even die for?

What are your values?

These important questions are only asked by about 3% of the population, and that very small minority tends to be the movers and shakers in each society.

When I began this exercise some years ago, my list had 165 qualities that I aspired to.  I think I wrote down every virtue, value or positive descriptive adjective that referred to personality and character contained in the dictionary.  And I agreed with all of them. I felt they were all important and I wanted to incorporate every single one of them into my character. Then reality set in.  I realised that it is extremely hard to learn even one new quality, or to change even one thing about myself, let alone hundreds of things. So I scaled down my ambitions and narrowed the values down to a much smaller number that I could manage and work with. Once I had settled on about five core beliefs, I was able to get to work on myself and start making some progress in character development.

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This is something everyone can do.  Firstly,  write down the five values that you feel are the most important for you to live by. Once you have those five values, then organise them in your order of priority. Which is the most important value in your hierarchy of values? Which would be second? Which would be third? Which would be fourth? Which would be fifth?

Every single choice or decision you make is based on your values. Whenever you decide between alternatives, you invariably choose the alternative that you value the most. And because you can only do one thing at a time, everything you do is a demonstration of what you consider to be the most important at that moment. Therefore, organising your values in an order of priority is the starting point of personal strategic planning. It is only when you are clear about what you value, and in what order, that you are capable of planning and organising other activities of your life.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put this into action:

First, clarify your core beliefs and your unifying principles. Write them down and compare your life today with the values that are really important to you. How do they compare?

Second, organise your values in order of their importance to you. Which of your values is most important? Which is second? And so on. Do your current choices reflect this order of values?

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

This is me…… Your questions answered

How on earth do you manage to juggle working, writing, being a wife and a mother?

Having been a medical secretary for 20 years or so, I learned early on how to prioritise and I carried this into my home life.  I also learned to delegate too.  The grocery shopping is delivered which saves me several hours each week and leaves me the time I need to work and look after my husband.  All my children have left home and have children of their own, so they don’t need my constant attention.

What inspired you to write your books?

When I hit rock bottom about thirty years ago, I had very limited help or access to help, because there was none to be had.  I remember I had the flu, all the children had chicken pox and we were all sitting huddled in the living room of my tiny flat and I had just one 50p coin left for the meter.  I had no job, I perceived I had no prospects because I had been told for years that I was useless and nobody would want to employ me. I thought I have to change something because if I don’t I am not going to survive, and if I don’t survive my three small children won’t survive either.  I had to change the way I thought about myself.  So I changed one thought, ‘I do have prospects and I can get a job’.  My parents brought me more coins for the meter and when I was better I went out and got myself a job in a school kitchen cooking the dinners.  It kick started me back to a proper career and I wrote the books because I didn’t want anyone else to be in that position, and if it helps just one person I shall be so pleased.

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Where do you work? Do you have a regular pattern or routine or other?

I work for myself providing a virtual secretarial service globally.  There are some parts to the work that are regular, but mostly it is irregular.  Sometimes I can be working at 11 o’clock at night, and other days I am finished by lunchtime.  Additionally I am a highly qualified life coach also working globally and often I am coaching clients at 7am my time which could be 6pm their time, or I could be coaching at 5pm my time which is 9am their time.  As well as that I run a community interest company which helps people who have suffered domestic abuse.

I am a volunteer radio presenter for Vectis Radio and really enjoy this aspect of my life.

I love the flexibility of working from home and not having a boss.  So no there is no particular pattern or routine.

Who would you like/or do share a cup of coffee and a natter with?

I would love to sit down and have a natter with Oprah Winfrey.  She is such an inspirational woman who gives so much time to others and has come from a very poor background but has never forgotten her roots.  I have seen a couple of her chat shows but they don’t interest me, Oprah herself interests me. I would love to find out more about the real person behind the public persona.

I also love chatting with Carol Bridgestock who is an amazing woman who writes crime novels with her husband Bob, fund raises and is a champion of all people and an inspiration.

How do you relax?

I like to relax at home with a glass of wine and good dvd.  It could be a film or a series, I have just finished watching ‘Smash’ a series about writing and finding the right actors to play the parts in a musical about Marilyn Monroe.  I tend to watch the films and series I like on my own when my husband is out in the evenings on occasion.  And of course I read quite a lot too.

What do you have in your handbag right now?

I have a notebook and several pens, purse,  Kindle, diary, mobile phone, car keys, house keys, business cards and that’s about it.

What’s your favourite smell?

I love the smell of freshly baked bread , I also love the smell of basil, it always smells so fresh and clean.  New babies smell gorgeous too.  I don’t do very well with perfumes as I am allergic to them so everything I have is unperfumed.

What’s the best advice you’ve been given or best advice you’d give?

The best advice I have been given is to just be yourself.  And that is the best advice I give anyone.  You can’t be anyone else, so just be yourself and be the very best you that you can be.

Maggie 3-1

This is me – Maggie Currie

What’s your favourite book/Film as a child/adult?

My favourite book as a child was Winnie the Pooh and as an adult it has been Gormanghast.  Winnie the Pooh because there is so much positivity in it and Gormanghast because it was written by a man in the trenches on little scraps of paper and it is what kept him sane.  The descriptions are stunning and the story so imaginative.

What are you working on now?

I am working on presenting a 12 module course for people who have escaped from domestic abuse, bullying in the workplace, and indeed those people who want to escape.  I have run some pilot courses with great feedback and am now starting on the programme with two courses running at the moment, one in the day and one in the evening. In January a third course will start on the mainland. So a very busy time.  Working on getting funding is time consuming, but I have been very lucky to get funding from The Lottery, The Island Foundation and Wightaid, as well as support from On The Wight.

I have another project which is a summer house in my back garden.  It is actually a fold up caravan that is around 45-50 years old.  I bought it this year and it has seen better days.  But it is going to have new curtains to brighten it up. I am going to paint the inside a lovely cream colour (it is currently pink) and it has got some ‘new’ seats that came from a caravan someone was breaking. It is peaceful to sit in the garden in all weathers and be in nature. And of course, if I don’t like where it is, I can fold it up and move it.

If you won the lottery what would you spend it on?

I would donate some of the money to my favourite charity The Isle of Wight Donkey Sanctuary, some I would use to help fund a safe haven for people to get away from domestic abuse.  If it were millions I am not sure what I would with it to be honest. Maybe buy an island of my very own – who knows?

Who do you admire in the literary world? Who do you consider your mentor? (Again can be used in any field of work you do)

I admire anyone who can write a book or novel that holds my attention and makes me want to keep reading.  There are too many books out there that I can’t get past the first couple of pages and that is a shame because they may get better as they go on, but I don’t want to read any more.  As for mentors I have several, some of whom are writers, some are life coaches and some are friends.  They are located in Australia, USA and UK and I communicate with them weekly, sometimes daily via Facebook.  And of course my husband is my greatest mentor as he supports and encourages me in everything I do.

Testimonials – Due to confidentiality they have been anonymised

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.” SR, USA

I have made some significant changes to what I do and how I behave.  Change is always difficult but you just have to have confidence, back yourself and go for it don’t you!!  Your book was the first step I took to set me on the way for this latest, and final, journey.  I have picked up a few other things on the way and there is no turning back now!!’ TB, IoW

‘Maggie helped me to recognise that I was stagnating and I chose not to do that any longer. I have changed my life dramatically in just one year and now I am really enjoying my life and my new relationship.’ LR, Gloucester.

“Things are really good. There is very much a difference in my homelife now, very rarely do I even think about work, which is great. Even my daughter has noticed a difference. I don’t seem to get stressed like I used to. I really can’t thank you enough for your help!” VP, IOW.

“It was quite apparent my immediate need for her guidance and advice regarding publishing my book have been adequately and superbly catered for by Maggie.” RS, Portsmouth.

Maggie Currie has a heart as big as the Universe!! She gets people, all people, especially those who are feeling ‘less than’. Maggie helps them to feel ‘more than’ who they believed themselves to be. We need more Maggie’s in the world!'” MS, UK

“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!”— JL. Milton Keynes.

“Thanks for the notes and your time yesterday. The idea of getting help was a major breakthrough for me and I am laughing at myself and in total disbelief that I had to be led by you to that very obvious solution!!! I guess you must get that all the time though. Getting help will open up the possibilities of what I can achieve enormously and I actually woke up this morning raring to go instead of dreading the day’s work.”. KG, Surrey

“Maggie, your well placed questions and non-judgemental help in our coaching session really helped me to think more clearly about my situation. ” GL, Paris, France

“‘Oh, what a wonderful call I just had with Maggie, she has a way of coaxing out of me things and putting others in proper perspective. Feeling so much better, the little residual of melancholy about the fourth of July was gone by the end of the call. Great feeling letting it go. Now to get on with the rest of the day I am feeling very upbeat’.”
VB, USA

“‘I wasn’t sure what to do in my relationship, Maggie helped me understand that I was worrying about things that I imagined might happen and not living in the relationship. Once I got my head around that and stopped thinking about imaginary scenarios, things improved dramatically and my partner and other people noticed the positive difference in me'” LR, Australia

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.” –  DU, UK

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Qualified Coaches vs Unqualified Coaches

There are many thousands of ‘coaches’ out there who have never been trained to coach, have never been coached themselves and who have absolutely no idea where to begin or indeed where to end.

Equally, there are a similar number of ‘coaches’ out there who are qualified, who have never been coached themselves and also have absolutely no idea what they are doing.

I can only speak from my own experience, and I have found that learning how to be a coach is very much different from being a coach. And being a coach means drawing on all my learnings and experiences accumulated throughout my life.

How so you may well ask.  Well I have undertaken significant training with six different coach training providers since 2004 and invested many thousands of pounds in my training.  Each coach training provider has their own ways of interpreting coaching, whether that is style, dos and don’ts, wording and lots of different ‘specialisms’.

For instance, one coach training provider insisted that coaching means never giving your client an idea or suggestion. A different coach training provider insisted that every client needs to be coached in a specific way using a particular model. Yet another coach training provider professed that all clients need is an ear to listen to them.

Now, when it comes to qualification one distance learning coach training provider said that once I had passed their diploma course I was a trained life coach.  That may well have been true, but the course itself gave very little insight into the myriad of different strategies that can be, and are, used in coaching.  On passing the course I was a qualified life coach.

graduated

Another taught me all I needed to know to become a corporate coach, but again left me short of knowledge and experience when it came to working with organisations that varied in the ways they operated. On passing their course I was now a qualified corporate coach.

I have learned over the years that my life experiences count just as much as all the coach training.  Listening to my clients and knowing when to ask the right question came from practice.  It is nothing that can be learned from a course or a book, it comes with experience of working with so many different people.

I love being a coach, it doesn’t feel like a job to me.  I find it so rewarding when I see the ‘penny drop’ and my clients get it, take action and change their lives for the better. It is something that I just love getting out of bed for every morning.

All the training I have undertaken has had its uses, and I always learned something new and worthwhile, and I can honestly say that I am highly qualified and experienced as a coach, and my clients get great results.

I enjoy being coached, and in fact work with several coaches where we all coach each other, supervise, teach and learn.  It works very well as each has something different to bring to the table.  The fact that we are spread out over the world in the UK, USA, South Africa and Australia causes a few time zone headaches, but we usually work it all out between us, and Skype is a fabulous tool.

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So who wins in the Qualified Coach vs Unqualified Coach competition? I don’t think there is a definitive answer.  It all depends on the coach and the outcome you want.  If the outcome you get is satisfactory to you, then I am not sure it really matters.  I know there will be lots of you who will disagree, and I would love to hear from you.

My speciality is coaching and mentoring people who have escaped from abusive relationships, people who have been bullied or people who suffer from anxiety about one or more things in their life.   The successful outcomes my clients have had are just wonderful and make my work so worthwhile.

If you find anything here that resonates with you, get in touch and we can have a chat.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk