Self acceptance

How we see ourselves is frequently completely different from the way others see us.  That doesn’t mean that how others see us is wrong, but we can judge ourselves very easily by what we perceive other people think.  This ‘self judgement’ can distort our view of ourselves. But we can change that distorted view, and become aware of who we really are and learn to accept ourselves exactly as we are.

I know that I began to learn to accept myself by working out what my subconscious beliefs were about myself. And then I began to challenge those beliefs so that I could get to a positive place where I was kind and gentle with myself instead of being harsh and critical.

I began by looking in the mirror and really seeing myself.  It was hard at first, because I didn’t like looking at me.  But I stuck at it and learned to accept myself just as I am.

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My first suggestion is for you to practice the following exercise, it may take several attempts, but that is okay.  Take as long as you need to.  If it takes several days or several weeks, that is okay.  If tears come along, let them flow.  They won’t hurt you, but they will help you.

I would like you to look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud to yourself who you see.  Speak in the third person.

  • What do you see when you look at them?
  • Who have they become?
  • How do they feel about the life that they are living?
  • Anything else?

 

I would like you to verify each of the beliefs you have and explain why you believe it. Write them down.

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Are the beliefs true or has someone said this to you along the way? Who was it?

The second part of this exercise is much more fun.  I would like you to make a list of as many opposite or neutral beliefs (opposite from those you wrote above) as you can and begin building your strong positive internal dialogue.

Think back, can you remember when you believed something negative about yourself and you managed to change your perspective to a positive way of thinking about you?

Write your new beliefs down.

  • How do they want to look?
  • What would  they be wearing?
  • How would they stand?
  • What would their facial expression be like?
  • Anything else?

What is this telling you?

If any of this resonates with you, get in touch and we can have a chat about how we can work together if you would like.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

We are conditioned both deliberately and accidentally throughout life

As we go through life we learn a vast amount of things, and we start from the very moment we are born (some say before we are born, and they may well be right).

We are conditioned deliberately in some cases, and accidentally in others.  Deliberate conditioning often comes from our parents/guardians, from religious leaders, from teachers, group leaders such as Akela in scouts, Brown Owl in Brownies etc.

We learn how to eat our food, when to eat our food. We learn the boundaries we must adhere to in school, such as when playtime is, where we have to sit to do our work, what work we have to do, when we can talk and when we must be quiet.

Brownies are conditioned to learn new skills to gain the badges that are liberally sewn on to their sashes, and likewise with scouts.

We are conditioned to go to bed at certain times, to get up at certain times, to be seen and not heard, to not answer back, to not talk when the adults are talking, to do our homework and a million other things too.

We can be conditioned by relatives, partners, children and many other sources to behave in a particular way.  Some of those ways are for our own safety and some of them are for control of you.  You have to decide which is which.

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Accidental conditioning can come from anywhere.  For instance, a young couple got married and the new wife decided to cook a Sunday roast.  She got her leg of lamb from the butcher and broke the top part of the leg bone and put it in a roasting tin.  He new husband asked her why she broke the bone and the new wife replied ‘that’s what my mum does’.

A few weeks later the newly weds went to the new wife’s mum’s house for Sunday dinner.  The mum had got lamb and she got the joint and broke the top part of the bone and put it in the roasting tin.  Her son-in-law asked her why she did that and she replied ‘ that’s what my mum does’.

A few months down the line and the newly weds go to Grandma’s for Sunday lunch.  The new husband tells Grandma about his wife and her mother breaking the bone of the leg of lamb and explained how they said they did it because Grandma does it.  Grandma laughed and said ‘Oh, do they still do that? I only did that because I didn’t have a roasting tin big enough’, and she laughed. She had accidentally conditioned her daughter who had accidentally conditioned her daughter.

roastlamb

Think about the conditioning you have had throughout your life.  Is it still relevant now?  Do you have to do things in the same way or can you change the way you do some things?  Do you want to change things or are you happy with the way they are?

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Getting rid of stuff can be good

I was looking through my folder of coaching stuff that I have collected over the years.  It was all contained in a folder that had 50 clear A4 sized pockets, and it was crammed with information.

There was information about NLP, about the ‘right’ questions to ask a client, about how to frame questions and so much more. Although I qualified as an NLP Practitioner, I don’t use NLP as it never feels right to me.  That is my personal opinion and not a judgement on the subject.

Looking through my folder I began to think about when I had last looked at the information contained in it.  I came to the conclusion that it must have been about five years ago, and then I remembered that when I had looked through the folder before a coaching session with one of my clients, I had closed it again because nothing had jumped out at me that was useful to me or the client.

flat world

It came to me that I had been indulging myself in flat earth thinking.  In the distant past people thought the earth was flat. They designed huge anchors for the ships so they wouldn’t fall off the edge.  They didn’t sail too far away from land in case they fell off the edge. They built tall lookout posts on top of the masts so someone could make sure they didn’t reach the edge of the earth and fall off.  It is said that Christopher Columbus nearly had a mutiny on board his ship as he refused to stop sailing further and further away from land, and his crew thought they would all fall off the end of the earth. He didn’t of course.

I had been guilty of flat earth thinking. I thought I needed all the bumph and information I had collected over the past decade to be a good coach.  I thought if I got rid of it then I would lose all my abilities. Of course, I don’t need it all.  I have all I need within myself. I am enough. I love the work I do and my clients get great results.  So why hang on to it all? No reason at all.

It is all gone. Every bit of it.

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So I am back in the driving seat of my life.  And if you would like to get back in the driving seat of your life, get clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are. Get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

This is what one of my clients commented after working with me a few years ago:

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.” – SR, USA

Are you ready to make changes? Working with me and learning to live life from the inside out will bring you more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

So get in touch with me today.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

What are your perceptions and beliefs?

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.

You are not truly aware of what someone else’s reality really looks like, and they are not truly aware of what your reality looks like. You are only aware of your own reality and how it looks to you.

Don’t believe me?  Take a simple scenario.  A road traffic accident, where nobody is hurt, fortunately, when one car hits another car.  There are three witnesses.  A policeman will ask each witness what he or she saw.  There will be three completely different perceptions of the same incident.

For instance, one person might state that they saw the first car brake suddenly, so the driver of the car behind (being far too close in their perception) braked really hard but the car was going too fast and ran into the car in front with a loud bang.

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking.

The third person witnessed the first car slow down too much so the driver of the car behind (which wasn’t going too fast) couldn’t quite stop in time (though they tried) and hit the car in front really hard.

Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar.

How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions.  Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

heartmirror

You’d better believe it!
So what are your beliefs?  They are your views, judgments, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everything else you come into contact with.

Your beliefs filter everything you see, hear and feel around you and, as a result, determine the meaning you attach to any event. Your beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think that you can’t do something and then find it extremely difficult to do and give up trying, you have successfully fulfilled your belief that you can’t do it.  What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it?  Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs, whether they be limiting or empowering, determine your actions, and your actions in turn verify your beliefs. Over time, as you collect more evidence to prove your beliefs, your beliefs become your reality.

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind, as I mentioned in the previous chapter; they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

There are some beliefs you view as absolute truths and never question – that is just the way the world is! A change in your beliefs can have a major impact on how you live your life and the behaviours you manifest.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said:‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’

How right he was.

henry ford

Henry Ford

Do you currently have beliefs that keep your reality comfortable and safe and that prevent you from exploring your true potential?  Do you choose to acknowledge only the reality that is predicted by your limiting beliefs and then use these observations as proof that your current reality is indeed true?

Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and set sail into the unknown?  To push the boundaries of what you think you know and discover new lands and opportunities – to challenge yourself to create your new reality?

This is an excerpt from my book ‘What you believe creates your reality‘. If anything resonates with you, please buy it, read it, take action………………….change your life.

 Maggie Currie

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Email: hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Being Alone – Is it always a bad thing?

The absolutely most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  And this relationship can frequently be the most difficult one to cultivate because you are the only one who is present in every single moment of your life – from the moment you were conceived onwards.  

Society places a huge emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, and you may have been conditioned to  set aside your own needs in preference for the needs of others.  

plumber

But, until you really know yourself, how can you choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential?

By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

I don’t think there has been another time in history when it has been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We all have the freedom to support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.

With this freedom comes the opportunity to pursue your own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once you’ve satisfied your needs and created your support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom you can share the bounty of all you’ve created, as well as the beauty you’ve discovered within yourself.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

I believe we all need to learn to create spaces to be alone within our relationships. If we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we can open ourselves up to forge new paths and discover uncharted territory.

Being willing to not just know ourselves, but to love ourselves, and willing to discover what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to explore more fully our most important relationship—the one with our true selves. And no, it isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, I believe it is a good thing.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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We each have our own perceptions and beliefs – and so we should!

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.
You are not truly aware of what someone else’s reality really looks like, and they are not truly aware of what your reality looks like. You are only aware of your own reality and how it looks to you. 

Don’t believe me?  Take a simple scenario.  A road traffic accident, where nobody is hurt, fortunately, when one car hits another car.  There are three witnesses.  A policeman will ask each witness what he or she saw.  There will be three completely different perceptions of the same incident.

car

 For instance, one person might state that they saw the first car brake suddenly, so the driver of the car behind (being far too close in their perception) braked really hard but the car was going too fast and ran into the car in front with a loud bang. 

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking. 

The third person witnessed the first car slow down too much so the driver of the car behind (which wasn’t going too fast) couldn’t quite stop in time (though they tried) and hit the car in front really hard.

 Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar. 

 How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions.  Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

 So what are your beliefs?  They are your views, judgements, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everyone and everything else you come into contact with.

 Your beliefs filter everything you see, hear and feel around you and, as a result, determine the meaning you attach to any event. Your beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you think that you can’t do something and then find it extremely difficult to do and give up trying, you have successfully fulfilled your belief that you can’t do it.  What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it?  Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs, whether they be limiting or empowering, determine your actions, and your actions in turn verify your beliefs. Over time, as you collect more evidence to prove your beliefs, your beliefs become your reality.

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind, they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

There are some beliefs you view as absolute truths and never question – that is just the way the world is! A change in your beliefs can have a major impact on how you live your life and the behaviours you manifest.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

 flat world

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said: ‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’ How right he was.

Do you currently have beliefs that keep your reality comfortable and safe and that prevent you from exploring your true potential? 

Do you choose to acknowledge only the reality that is predicted by your limiting beliefs and then use these observations as proof that your current reality is indeed true? 

Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and set sail into the unknown?  To push the boundaries of what you think you know and discover new lands and opportunities – to challenge yourself to create your new reality?

Make a note of the limiting beliefs you are aware of.  Really give this some thought.  You will probably find a lot more than you originally thought if you keep delving deeper into your thoughts.

 I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your life does not resemble anybody else’s

People come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes we are not sure why until they have gone. But even that is good, because we always learn something from every single person who touches our lives.

We learn a myriad of things from so many different people. Some who have such amazing stories to tell, some who have simple stories to tell.  Some people who are only now beginning their journey of self discovery, some who have travelled a long way along its path.

Every single person has their own perspective, their own thoughts and dreams. Each and every one of us is following our own paths to discover what is lying ahead of us.

 


Accept that your life does not resemble anybody else’s. Everybody’s life is totally unique to them. Live your life the way you want to. You can happily co-exist with lots of like-minded people if you choose to.

Challenge your limiting beliefs about your life. Discover why you have those limiting beliefs. Open your mind to the possibility that you are not as limited in your life as you first thought. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that are out there, great or small. Be prepared to extend your thinking beyond what it has been, up until now. Be prepared to expand your norm.

Examine your attitudes. Decide whether they really are your attitudes, or whether they are attitudes imposed upon you by parents, guardians, siblings, teachers and so on. Once you have established which are yours and which are imposed, make the decision to alter the ones that are imposed upon you (but only if you disagree with them or they just don’t sit right with you).

Make one small change in your behaviour to create a huge change in your life. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic, it could just be changing the filling in your sandwich. Start small and work up to bigger changes, but make sure the changes are the ones that you want to make. 

Attract different people to you. By changing your perceptions, your attitude and your behaviour you will begin to attract different people to you. Your circle of friends will expand and offer you even more choices. Make the choices that are right for you.


Change your attitude to yourself; believe that you are capable, that you are beautiful, that you are lovable. Learn to love and respect yourself.

Intend to create your life. Picture your life in great detail, make it bright, colourful and clear. Add as much detail as possible to the picture. See what you will look like in your new life, hear what people are saying to you and about you, feel what it will be like in your new life.  If you don’t like what you are seeing or hearing, change the details in the picture until you get exactly what you want. Make it as bright as you can, see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel.  Step into your picture, be part of your new life.

Life is too short to live it on somebody else’s terms. Live the life you want to live and be happy.  Expect more from life and you will get it. Don’t settle for anything less.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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