Making conscious decisions

The fact that an idea or particular way of doing things is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. However, sometimes something becomes popular because many of us don’t take the time to determine what’s right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t what we call conscious decisions. There may be many other options available to us, but we don’t always take the time to explore them. This may be because we feel pressured by family or peer  to do things their way, or the way things have always been done. It is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of popular opinion.


It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behaviour. From our point of view it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where gentleness, openness, and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say that we need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Experiencing a breakdown

Most of us have, at one time or another had the experience of holding back our emotions for such a long time, for whatever reason,  that when these emotions finally come out, we have something resembling a breakdown. For a while, the overwhelming flood of feelings coursing through our bodies consumes us, and we stop functioning. Often, these outbursts take us by surprise, welling up within us as we drive to or from work, watch a movie, or engage in some otherwise mundane task. We might feel like we don’t know what triggered us, or if we do know, it does not make any sense of our overpowering emotional response. This is because we are releasing feelings that have accumulated over a long time, and whatever inspired the release was just a catalyst for a much larger, much needed catharsis.

When we find ourselves in the middle of such an experience, it is important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down. Wherever we are, we can try to find a private, safe place in which to let our feelings out. If we can’t find such a place immediately, we can promise to set aside some time for ourselves at our earliest possible convenience, perhaps taking a day off work. The important thing is that we need to give our emotional system some much-needed attention. It is essential that we allow ourselves to release the pent-up emotions inside ourselves so that they do not create imbalances in our bodies and minds.

When you are feeling better, and you will, make a plan to find a way to process your emotions more regularly. You can do this by employing a coach or a therapist or making a regular date to talk to a trusted friend. Journaling can also be a great way to acknowledge and release your emotions, as can certain forms of meditation. Making room in your life for tending your emotions on a regular basis will keep you healthy, balanced, and ready for life.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Take a break from what you are doing

Sometimes we can get so engrossed in our thoughts that we wind up going round in round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on anything and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much. There may be signals – mental, emotional, and physical – that are telling us we need to slow down and relax. But because we are so involved in things that are external to us, we may not notice what is really going on inside of us. It is during these times that we need to step back from the things that occupy our minds and take time out to connect with our inner self, giving our minds, bodies, and spirits the time they need to reenergize and heal.

Photo by Dominika Roseclay on Pexels.com

Initially it may seem that by taking a break we may not be as productive as we would like. In reality, a healthy period of rest is something that gives us a real sense of the unlimited nature of our true potential. Spending a couple of minutes walking outside in nature, doing a few yoga poses, meditating, or simply paying attention to our breathing enables us to let go of our worries. This act brings our focus back to the things that are truly essential for us, such as our sense of oneness with the universe and our inner peace and well-being. As we begin to get in touch with this part of ourselves, we will find that our usual everyday troubles and worries become less critical and that we not only have much more room in our lives to really reflect on the issues that mean the most to us, but we are also able bring to all the situations we encounter a much more positive and healthy outlook.

Giving ourselves respite from our daily worries is like giving a gift to ourselves. By stepping away from the problems that seem to fill our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Beneath the noise

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

You may have noticed that when you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise adds to the chaos and generally only hurts your throat, and still you are not heard.  Similarly, that small voice within each of us doesn’t try to compete with the constant mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. When we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath all that surrounding noise.

color closeup picture of redhead lady ear

It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalised from childhood or from our culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the centre of our being, and their urgency is what grabs our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence.  Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away.

We often find that our own communications in the world will be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and self-confidence.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Perception

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are affected by our perceptions – delight and despair come from within rather than from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious cause us no end of grief.

neon signage

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Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

The Universe is often unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we make of it.

If you are working in a job you dislike, you can think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your perspective, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Being alone

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from conception onward – this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling beliefs that you should set aside your own needs for the needs of others.

Until you know yourself, however, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

happy young woman sitting on floor in studio with closed eyes

Photo by Natalia Kycha on Pexels.com

It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We can now support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

When we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we often find that there are times where being alone nourishes us while we find other times in which a partnership is best for our growth.  We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory.

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognisable roles or not.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship -the one with our true selves.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Don’t die with your music still in you

The title is a paraphrase of the Emerson quote about how “Most men die with their music still in them.”

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I doing what I came here to do?
  • Am I, at least in part, ‘playing my special music’?

If you answered yes to the questions, or are at least pursuing them, then I congratulate you. If your answer is no –  what you are waiting for?!

woman holding mirror against her head in the middle of forest

Photo by Tasha Kamrowski on Pexels.com

We are all special in this world.  Each of us has some special contribution to make to the world.  Perhaps it’s to write a book.  Perhaps your special gift is in being a great teacher or coach. It could be you are the next person to discover a cure for a major disease, or to start a business and be the best you can be at what you do. Are you a builder who is passionate about your work?  Do you dream of being a great parent, artist, or baker?  Whatever the passion is within you, let it out.  Life is too fragile and uncertain to postpone your dreams, hoping that someday, you will really begin to live your life.  Begin now!  Whatever it is you are passionate about, you can begin it now.  What are you waiting for?

When I lived in Basingstoke, Hampshire, my next door neighbour Maureen was really looking forward to her retirement.  She had planned everything she was going to do with her life once she could stop work and concentrate on herself. There were so many things she hadn’t yet done and when she had the time after her retirement she was going to do them all. Six months before her 60th birthday Maureen was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died before she even got to be 60.  She never did get to retire or do all the many things that she had planned to do when she retired. It saddens me to see someone who is near the end their life, never having taken a step to realise their dream.  It saddens me that anyone should leave this earth with their music still in them. You owe it to yourself to let it out!

Imagine in your mind a mirror.  Look into that mirror and see yourself as you are today.  Now  I want you to imagine yourself at the age of 80, see those sparkling eyes looking back at you.  I want you then to turn round and look back through the years of your life and note all the things you have achieved up to the age of 80.  How many things have you achieved? Wouldn’t it be sad if you were to look back at 80 and say to yourself ‘I haven’t achieved anything in all my years’.  Don’t wait , begin now.  What are you waiting for? Don’t die with your music still in you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Saying Yes, Saying No

If you were to hover above your daily life and view all the things that make it up, at what you do with each minute of your 24 hours, each and every day, at all the people and things that are part of it.  How much of it would you feel you had actually chosen ?

The truth is you chose all of it, on some level or another.  And even if there are some things you don’t feel like you chose, you certainly chose to allow them to continue. So, if you have all this choice, how come you reach a point from time to time where life seems incredibly cluttered and pressured?  Maybe you have lost sight of what you’re saying yes to and no to…and why you are saying yes or no.

photo of person s hand with words

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If you’ve ever listened to yourself say yes when you really wanted to say no, you’ll know how bad that feels.  For some people, each day is like that.  So what does that leave them with?  Lots of what they don’t want filling their time and little or no time for what they do want to fill their time! My guess is that we all have been in this situation to a greater or lesser extent.  Perhaps we have over-committed ourselves to work or other areas, tried to fit too much into our time, attempted to do lots of things at once, finding ourselves doing things that don’t energise us and perhaps, in some cases, draining us.  So what do we do about it?  Have a spring-clean!

The secret to spring-cleaning your life is in the use of those simple words ‘yes’ and ‘no’.  Are there situations, people or commitments in your life that you regularly say yes to, that you’d love to be able to say no to?  How much time could you free up by saying no to things that don’t give you anything and that you don’t enjoy?  What could you do with that time instead? By consciously looking at what we don’t want to be doing with our time, we can clear out the clutter and make space for a better quality of life.  We open up our time for the things we enjoy, clearing the way for new opportunities to have fun and to grow. How refreshing will that be!

What will YOU say yes and no to?  If this has struck a chord with you, take action now and answer these questions one at a time, making notes as a reminder:

  • What do you currently spend your time on that you’d like to be able to say no to?
  • By saying no to those things, what will that free up your time for?
  • If you were to put yourself first, what commitments, situations and people would you say no to?
  • What will you say yes to instead?

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

How to conquer our fear of failure

Our fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words  “I can’t”.  We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

black and white fence crime forbidden

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As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  This is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has been replaced as the parent and is perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but “I have to,” and “I have to,” but “I can’t.”

We can beat these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  Acting with courage in a fearful situation is a technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and they lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

Firstly, we need to realise and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever we feel afraid.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are, think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is the way we learn how to succeed.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Things We Don’t Want to Do

Most of us can remember tackling some task that we absolutely dreaded doing only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. Often when we do these dreaded tasks, we come out on the other side changed and wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long to get around to it. We might even start to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel repeat those feelings.

notebook

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Putting off that dreaded task creates obstacles for us, either because the task itself scares us, or we think it will bore us or we believe it will force a change we are not ready for.  On the other hand, facing that task at no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn’t want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.

I am sure we all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fuelled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk