How do I know I have low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there.  For me the following was very true:

  • I didn’t think I was good enough.
  • I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.
  • I didn’t look after myself, I put others first.
  • I let people manipulate me.
  • I was in a bad relationship.
  • I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.
  • I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn’t think I knew anything.
  • I was verbally and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession.  This situation went on for 12 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.  Whilst in that relationship I had no idea that it wasn’t normal, I thought every marriage was the same.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I woke up one morning and a thought crept into my mind.  This is not normal, there has to be something different.  I summoned the courage to seek some help and explained my situation to a solicitor and he confirmed it was not normal. I decided there and then I had to get out of that relationship.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope.  My self-esteem went down even further.

Something had to change, and there was one day that sticks in my mind when things began to change.  I had the flu and the children all had chicken pox.  We were sitting huddled in the living room trying to keep warm and I had only one coin left for the electric meter.  Something had to change and very soon or none of us were going to get through this.

I phoned my parents and asked them to bring me some 50p pieces for the meter.  This didn’t change anything immediately, but it did help us to get better.  I resolved that I could get a job, I was capable and I was going to change mine and my children’s lives.

The very next week I went out and got a job cooking school meals in the school my children attended.  It meant I was there when they went to school and when they came home. I was there in the school holidays.  But it also meant I was independent, no longer reliant on benefits and other people.  I was changing my life.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Well I can assure you, there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I run two successful businesses that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 32 years to a wonderful man who loves me.  I have spent over a decade as a life coach and mentor and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it. I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that’s why I can help so many people.  I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

Dealing with emotional abuse

 

So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

  • Stop thinking that you are not good enough. You most definitely are.
  • Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish – it is essential.
  • Before you think that you don’t have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.
  • There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it , open your mind to it.
  • Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you now in this moment.

By changing your attitude towards yourself other people will change their attitudes towards you, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and rebuilding your self-esteem,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Are you living the life of your dreams?

I have a really important question to ask you. You owe it to yourself to stop what you’re doing for a moment and really think about it…

Are you living the life of your dreams?

Now before you answer that, I’m not talking about the type of dreams that are unrealistic fantasies. I’m talking about the life you imagined when you were younger. When it was easy to see possibilities.

Are you living that life?

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If you are, well done. If you’re not, please keep reading.

A teacher of mine used to always say: “Life isn’t a dress rehearsal”

But sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up. Time begins to move more quickly the older we get, and before you know it, you’re someplace you didn’t plan to be.  Working a job you don’t like. In a body you want to change, and feeling like something is missing. Time keeps going and nothing changes.

Until Right Now.

“Do you even know what you want?”

Not want you don’t want, not what your friends want, not what you’re supposed to want.

But what do YOU want?

So do you know what you want in life?

For most people it’s no.

But you’re not most people. You’re special, and you can begin to change your life right now, just by taking some time and deciding what you want.

The next question that needs to be asked is:
“If you know what you want, do you know how to get it?”

If you do, congratulations, go do it.

20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

If you don’t, take a deep breath, smile, and realise all the things that you didn’t know how to do at some point in your life. Reading, writing, walking, using a computer, etc. But you learned, and you can learn what to do to make your dreams your reality.

Now you and I know how easy it is to plan on taking some time to get clear and decide what you want in life. And you also know how easy it is to keep putting it off, never quite getting to it, and
living the consequences of that procrastination.

Stop procrastinating, get on and do it.  If you are not sure where to begin get in touch with me today and we can have a chat about how I can help you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

Do you look good on the outside, but inside you are crumbling?

Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to get beyond these feelings to a calmer and more positive place. What if you could…

  • Overcome your fears and anxieties?
  • Gain the courage to make a change?
  • Get on with enjoying your life?
  • Unlock your inner strengths?
  • Put your own needs first?
  • Be a survivor not a victim?

THIS IS NOT SOME UNACHIEVABLE DREAM. I’M GOING TO HELP YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Picture this. In 2 1/2 days you’ll be feeling like a new you. You’ll have reconnected with your inner confidence and feel able to survive the challenges and obstacles that you face in your life.

You will have developed a new found energy, and you will have a spring in your step.

You’ll be on track to change your situation and live the life you want.

IN OTHER WORDS, IN JUST 2 1/2 DAYS, YOUR LIFE WILL BE TURNED AROUND.

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I am running two retreats, one for women and one for men, here on the Isle of Wight.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat for women, and The L.I.F.E. Retreat for men.

 

I’M HERE TO HELP YOU

I want you to know that it is possible to make a change; that no situation, no matter how desperate, is insurmountable.

As Napoleon Hill says, “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

So, if you’re serious about moving on from your feelings of anxiety and despair, now’s the time to take action.

I’ve designed this Retreat for you – the person who is struggling to live life on your own terms and is finally ready to turn things around.

I’m here to help you be a survivor.

Stop making the same vague wish (“I hope my life finally takes off this year”) every single birthday.

One of these Retreats is for you if you’re finally ready to make a positive change and be a survivor, not a victim.

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WHICHEVER RETREAT YOU CHOOSE, I AM GIVING YOU:

  • The tools you need to recharge yourself and your confidence in yourself in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
  • The knowledge you need to survive following a life trauma – divorce, redundancy, overwhelm, loss.
  • My knowledge and the resources I have accumulated over many years of research, trial and error and failure, and of course successes.
  •  A stay in a beautiful Victorian mansion so close to the beach you will have sand in your shoes. (Situated a 20 minute walk from the Hovercraft and Wightlink Fastcat passenger terminals. No need to bring your car across.  I can even arrange for you to  be collected from the ferry or hovercraft and bring you to the venue.)
  • The focus on you to get to know and love your real SELF.
Plus I am giving you:
 
  • A buffet style continental breakfast each morning.
  •  Your own chef preparing, cooking and serving your lunches and dinners each day on site.
  •  Unlimited refreshments throughout each day.
  •  Your own welcome pack to keep.
  •  Some top notch surprise guest speakers and coaches to add to your experience.
  •  Our own private Facebook group for continued support.
  •  A one to one coaching session with me.

YOU will find the solutions you are looking for. Forget all the imagined reasons why you think it won’t work for you.  Believe the one reason why it will!

Find out more about the Retreat of your choice by clinking on the appropriate link:

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

The investment per person is £749.00 all inclusive.  No hidden costs. Everything is provided, just bring yourself.

Don’t think of cost, think of the value to you and your life.

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RESULTS

I’ve been working with clients as a thought leader and survival coach for the past 10 years to help them overcome stress, anxiety and life trauma.

I helped one client to change their career from one they hated to one they loved.

Another client came to me with anxiety associated with confrontation and low self-esteem.  She is now leading a whole team of people and confident in her abilities.

I also helped a client who was suffering from very low self-esteem to realise her full potential and she is now blossoming running her own business.

Don’t just take my word for it!

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.”
– DU, UK (Male)

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK (Male)

“Maggie assisted me through a challenging time in my life. She is able to combine a no nonsense approach with genuine empathy to her coaching work and shares her knowledge generously. She holds you accountable for outcomes in a warm and caring manner. Being coached by Maggie was such a pleasure. I always looked forward to those sessions with anticipation. Maggie is able to hold your space in a non-judgemental manner which gives you the confidence to move forward. I certainly recommend her as a coach.” – TZ, South Africa (Female)

“I used to get irritated whenever you would say ‘why can’t you do that?’ or ‘why do you think that?’. But now I see that by questioning my thinking you have broadened my outlook and I can actually achieve more than I ever thought. In fact the other day I was faced with a challenge, and my initial thought was I need to get someone in to do this for me. Then I stopped and thought of you and it came to me that I can do it. And do you know what, I did it and it worked out very well.” – IM, UK (Male)

SO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT FROM YOUR LIFE? WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LIFE COULD BE LIKE? AND HOW READY ARE YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 

Book your place today……..There are only 10 places available for each Retreat.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

Grant yourself the freedom to START LIVING.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
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Find out more about me on my website.
 
P.S. Here are just a few testimonials from my previous workshops/courses/seminars:

 
“Thanks Maggie, I have your book in my bag and the collage I made at your workshop, when I look at it, it gives me the confidence to carry on. I can’t thank you enough for that workshop, it was great.” Maggie J
 
“Maggie always brings a refreshing energy to any situation. She truly enjoys helping others to live the life they deserve!” Teri H
 
“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!” Jane L
 
“Maggie makes the toughest challenges seem simple. Always exceeds my expectations.” Wendy W
 
“I have done really well since your workshop. I decided that it was OK to give up being self employed because there is too much going on elsewhere it is not serving me well. I have successfully applied for a surveyors job at xxxxxxx and been offered a very good package. I have accepted and start in November part time until I finish all my jobs and then full time by 2015. I am really pleased to say the least. It was very helpful to go somewhere for some “me” time. Thank you! ” Peter M

S.E.L.F. – E – Energy

What comes to mind when you think of energy? Getting fit, running a marathon or something just as energetic? Well, that is one meaning, but I am referring to the energy we expend in our daily lives doing what we normally do.

The dictionary definition is:

  • the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity.

In our daily lives we spend a lot of emotional energy worrying, decision making, hiding behind a persona we have created that we think other people want to see, and a million other activities that in themselves aren’t energetic, but use up a lot of emotional energy. So much so that we feel tired, get irritable and, at the end of the day, wonder what on earth we have been doing to feel this way.

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But do we need to waste our emotional energy on some of these activities? No we don’t.  Some of these activities are, quite frankly, futile and others are a bad choice. But there is something you can do to save your energy so that you don’t end up frazzled, tired and irritable.  Come to my workshop and learn what you can do for yourself to ease this situation.

In September I am presenting a FREE workshop and energy is one of the topics included.  Click here to book your ticket today and learn more about the secret of SELF.

 

Maggie Currie

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My new phone number

Just  quick note to let you know that I have now moved house and have a brand new contact number too!

The move itself was uneventful, but moving phone numbers was apparently too difficult for the phone company to cope with.  Hence the new number.

telephonedial

All is not lost, new business cards have been printed very rapidly by my supplier, leaflets are being altered with labels etc.

It is not the end of the world.  In fact, in some ways it is a blessing.  New number, new start…..

So here it is:

01983 754666

 
 
You can still contact me via my website, and I look forward to hearing from you and of course to working with you in the very near future.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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Beliefs

We all have beliefs, most of which have been programmed into us from a very young age and most of  us don’t question them.  There are beliefs that cannot be changed, and that is just the way it is and we have to accept it.  But there are lots of beliefs that we hold that may not be relevant now.
Here is a true story which will illustrate just how easily we are ‘programmed’
roastlamb
A young couple got married, and when it came to cooking the Sunday roast, the young wife picked up her joint of meat, broke the bone in it and folded it before putting it in the roasting tin.  Her new husband asked her why she had done this.  She replied ‘That’s the way my mother always does it’.
A few weeks later, the young couple were invited to her parents’ house for Sunday lunch, and the young husband was intrigued as he watched his mother-in-law pick up her joint of meat, break the bone and fold it before putting it in the roasting tin.  He asked his mother-in-law why she did this.  She replied ‘That’s the way my mother always does it’.
A month or so later, the young couple went to have Sunday lunch with her Grandmother.  The young husband was still intrigued by the breaking of the bone before putting the joint in the roasting tin, and so he mentioned to his wife’s Grandmother how his wife and his mother-in-law both broke the bone in the joint of meat before putting in the roasting tin, and that his mother-in-law learned it from the Grandmother, and his wife learned it from his mother-in-law.  He asked if she could shed any light on this for him.
The Grandmother replied ‘Do they still do that?  I used to do it because my roasting tin was very small and unless I broke the bone, I couldn’t fit the joint in it’.
That is how simple it is to be ‘programmed’.
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I have a belief that there is good in everybody. This belief comes from parents who told me this many years ago and therefore I have believed it for all this time. I have not had any reason to challenge this belief before and therefore it has just sat there in my mind.

I have challenged this belief, and I now believe that there is good in most people but not everybody. I discovered something about a person I know that was unpleasant, nauseating and which shook me to the core. That belief is now buried forever, and the new belief has replaced it.

10 beliefs I hold:

  • I believe there is a higher being, but I am not sure what or who it is.
  • I believe that working hard reaps great rewards.
  • I believe that honesty is always the best policy.
  • I believe that marriage is an equal partnership and that to be best friends as well is vital.
  • I believe I have masses to offer to other people to help them become the very best version of themselves.
  • I believe I made some huge mistakes whilst bringing up my children.
  • I believe that friends are attracted to me rather than me going out to find them.
  • I believe in general humans think they are superior to other creatures.
  • I believe change can be brought to this planet by drip feeding positive thoughts.
  • I believe in the power of the Universe

I have challenged the belief that there is good in everybody because it has been proved to me that this is just not the case. Therefore this belief is easy to change and will remain changed unless it can be disproved to me that there is good in most people.

I had a belief that my intuition (inner self, spirit, gut instinct) is infallible. It has shown me that it is not. My belief now is that I can trust my intuition up to a limit, but that consideration will have to be made in the future to ensure my gut instinct is not destroyed and continues to protect me.

 What are your beliefs? Are there any that need looking at or adjusting?  Take a look and you might just be surprised.

Contact me today, and we can have a chat on how I can help you. There is so much more information for you to see about my coaching on my website, take a look.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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“I’m ACE!” – The 7 day challenge

Here is a short confidence building exercise for you. If you are up for the challenge that is!

At the end of each day, for 7 days I want you to write down 5 things that happened throughout the day that proved that you are ACE! Now if this doesn’t come naturally to you, you’re going to have to go out and make things happen.

Don’t ignore the little things as well.

You can include such things as complimenting someone, a good piece of work you did, the 30 minutes you spent with the kids when you would normally be watching TV – write down 5 things where you have added value to something or someone each day for 7 days.

 

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GO FOR IT!

The 7 Day Challenge Template

Write out each “ACE STATEMENT” in the following format:

Number 1 was when I…

It meant that…

Afterwards I felt…

Number 2 was when I…..

It meant that…….

Afterwards I felt……

And so on until you have written down 5 things that happened throughout the day that proved that you are ACE!

befabulous

After the 7 days are up, look back over your list your will be truly amazed at how ACE you are!

The following week, repeat the exercise but with 5 new things each day, and also make a plan for each day, just like the little dog in the cartoon above.

Remind yourself of this challenge every time you feel that you are not good enough, because you are good enough and you are ACE!

Contact me today, and we can have a chat on how I can help you. There is so much more information for you to see about my coaching on my website, take a look.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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Time for action!

As a very busy coach I am lucky enough to be in a position where, on a daily basis, the fascinating people I work with tell me all about their big dreams, grand plans and compelling goals.  Dreams, plans and goals that they have possibly never shared with  another living soul.  And I can tell you that there are some amazing potential futures out there for these people!

So what will be the deciding factor as to whether these big dreams remain as dreams or become a wonderful and vibrant reality?  A few words come to mind – clarity, vision, belief, motivation, support – all play a part.  But the deciding factor in every case is – will this person take action?  Will they act upon what they want and work towards making it happen?

teenage depression - teen woman sitting thinking

All too often people don’t realise their ambitions and make their dreams a reality because their aspirations remain as something that they think about, rather than something that they do or create.  Having put all that effort into the thinking, dreaming and planning they find reasons not to do anything about it. And the fail to write them down.  Only when the dreams and aspirations are written down do they become goals.

Interestingly, the most common reason that I hear for inaction is ‘no time’.  How often do you hear people say “If only I had the time”? We all have the same number of hours in a day, it is how we manage those hours that makes the difference.

There is such a time-poor mentality around these days that we often appear to believe we have run out of time, or that there is literally none to spare because it’s already been spent on the other stuff in our lives.  Time is ‘taken up’ by so many things that  when it comes to the big goals and ambitions that require action, we don’t feel we have any left.

Added to that, the nature of some of these wonderful dreams that people have (eg. retraining for a new career) mean that they can take a certain amount of time to come to fruition, and there can be a sense of “but it would just take so long!”.

The thing is though time is passing anyway.  Regardless of whether we take action, use it constructively and make it count, it is going by at the same rate.  The real key to success is to decide to use it in the best way possible for what is most important to us.

We allow so many less important things to drain our time when we could choose at any moment to use it in a better way, in such a way that we make progress and start heading towards where we want to be.  So that in a year or two years time, we’ll be in a different place to the place we’re in now.  Well on our way to one of those compelling potential futures.  Or perhaps by that time it will be our reality?

Is it time for you to take action?

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

Do you have a dream or an ambition in which you’ve invested lots of thinking and planning time, but haven’t taken action on?  If so, keep reading!

Ask yourself:

  • What needs to happen for me to achieve this?  What are all the steps?
  • What is stopping me from taking action?  How long will I allow these things to stop me?
  • What is the one thing I could do in the next 24 hours to know that I have started taking action?
  • Will you do it?

Get in touch today and we can have a free informal chat on how I can help you to take action and achieve your goals.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Looking beyond appearances

It is natural to judge people, and yourself, since it just happens without us even thinking about it.  We take one look and in 2 seconds summarise our opinion of a whole person – overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy. This habit comes from the brain’s need to categorise the world in order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.  

 Judging is your way of identifying relevant information, you are trying to decide if the person approaching is a threat, a friend or someone you don’t need to worry about.  This way of looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context, but in your daily life it can lead to an overly simplistic reading of the people you meet.

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If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have them become a good friend once you really got to know them, then you will understand the hazards of the judgement cycle. An experience like that may lead you to question your natural tendency to believe your first impressions.  

 You will always notice things about the different people you meet, but as you become more conscious of the idiosyncrasies of judgement, you won’t be satisfied with your surface observations.  You  may notice that someone is driving an expensive car, but you will decide whether to befriend them based on getting to know them over time. You will not rule out a friendship with someone with unruly hair, especially if they turn out to have a great sense of humour and a kind heart.  Liking or disliking a person is a choice you will naturally make, but it will be after you have got to know them. 

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Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, stop.  Try to radiate love to that person. Then listen to them openly or look them in the eye and learn more about them. If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either. Trust that, with practice, you will change your habitual judgemental patterns.  And as you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of people you meet.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Whatever we believe becomes our reality

We tend to ignore information that we think is inconsistent with our reality. Successful people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed. They do not think or talk about the possibilities of failing. They do not even consider the possibility of failure.

We usually act in a manner consistent with our beliefs. The most important belief system we can build is one where we absolutely believe that we are going succeed. This is called positive thinking, confirming our reality that we absolutely know that no matter what, we will be successful.

Often positive thinking is difficult because our parents or guardians only gave love and approval to their children when they did something that they wanted them to do.  If we grew up with this kind of conditional love we will inevitably tend to seek unconditional approval from others.  When we become adults, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and to our boss or workmates. We can become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss and some totally imagined high standard.

 

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If we can change the way we think about ourselves and our potential, we can open new doors to unlimited possibilities and point ourselves in the right direction to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life.  We should not think about what other people think of us, but we should concentrate on what we want and adjust our thinking so that we will achieve it. 

To begin to change the way we think about ourselves, we need to stimulate our imaginations.  This can be done by writing down a clear and detailed description of our ideal outcome.  We must be absolutely clear about the outcome, but we must also be flexible about the process of achieving it. 

There is a method you can use to see yourself having achieved your outcome.  It is called the ‘Hindsight Tool’.  It works like this:  

  • Think about the outcome you want, visualise yourself as having achieved it.

  • Then use the ‘hindsight tool’  – In your mind imagine yourself in, say, five years’ time, picture yourself being the successful person you want to be. How would you look? What would you be wearing? What would you be saying or doing?  Who would be around you, who wouldn’t be around you? Where would you be?

  • Then, turn round and look back to the present and see what course and actions you took, what mistakes you may have made and how you corrected them.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

It may be that the outcome you imagined is not exactly what you hoped for.  That is fine and very normal.  Re-think your outcome and do the process over again.  You can do this many times until you get the outcome you want.  Then put it all into practice.

If you need help with any of the above, contact me.  

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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