Taming your monkey mind

It’s often called the monkey mind – that endless chattering in your head as you jump from thought to thought in your mind, even while you daydream, analyse your relationships, or worry over the future. Eventually, you start to feel like your thoughts are spinning in circles and you’re left totally confused.

group of monkey on dirt road

Photo by vishnudeep dixit on Pexels.com

One way to tame this feral creature in your head is through meditation – although the paradox is that you invite the monkey in your mind to play when you clear your mind for meditation. This is when you are given the opportunity to tame this mental beast by moving beyond thought – to become aware of that thought instead of thinking a thought. The difference is subtle, but significant. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can allow them to rise and float away without letting them pull you in different directions. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allows you to slow down your thought process and focus on observing your thoughts.

To help develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on your breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath. Alternatively, fire can be mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the shape, colour and movement of the flame, and try not to blink. Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head. Chanting, singing, and mantras may also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you.

When you are ready to learn to relax and have more fun in your life and less stress,  contact me and begin your journey. I would love to work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

We all want to push the fast-forward button, but is it worth it?

We all have those times when we wish we could press a fast-forward button and propel ourselves into the future and get out of our current situation. Whether the situation we are facing is minor, or major such as the loss of a loved one, it is human nature to want to move away from pain and find comfort as soon as possible. Yet we all know deep down that we need to work through these experiences in a conscious fashion rather than bury our heads in the sand. these are the times when we access important information about ourselves and life. The learning process may not be easy, but it is full of learning that bring us knowledge we cannot find any other way.

white and black music mixer

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The urge to press fast-forward can lead to escapism and denial, both of which only prolong our difficulties and can make them worse. The more direct, clear, and courageous we are in the face of whatever we are dealing with, the more quickly we will move through the situation. Understanding this, we may begin to realise that trying to find the fast-forward button is really more akin to pressing pause. When we truly grasp that the only way out of any situation in which we find ourselves is to go through it, we stop looking for ways to escape and we start paying close attention to what is happening. We realise that we are exactly where we need to be. We remember that we are in this situation in order to learn something we need to know, and we can alleviate some of our pain with the awareness that there is a purpose to our suffering.

When you feel that urge to press the fast-forward button, remember that you are not alone; we all instinctively avoid pain. But in doing so, we often prolong it and delay important learning. As you choose to move forward in real time, know that in the long run, this is the least painful way to go.

If you would like to begin to change your world,  then contact me and begin your journey. I would love work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Common Courtesy

Sometimes we feel we don’t have the time to reach out to others with those small gestures that make up what we call common courtesy.  It sometimes seems that this kind of social awareness belongs to the past, to smaller towns and slower times. Yet, when someone extends a small common courtesy to us, we always feel touched. Someone who lends a helping hand when we are struggling with our shopping bags makes an impression because many people just walk right by. Even someone who simply makes the effort to look us in the eye, smile, and greet us properly when entering a room stands out of the crowd. These people carry with them the elegance and grace of another time, and we are always thankful for our contact with them. Common courtesy is a small gesture that makes a big difference.

silver colored heart lock bridge

Photo by Marcus Wöckel on Pexels.com

Of course a vital component of common courtesy is awareness and common sense—looking outside yourself to notice when someone needs help or acknowledgment. As a courteous person, you are aware that you are walking into a room full of people or that your waiter has arrived to take your order. Awareness then leads to action. It is usually quite clear what needs to be done—open the door for the person holding the baby, move your car up two feet so another person can park behind you, acknowledge your sister’s shy boyfriend with a smile and some conversation, apologise if you bump into someone.  A third component is to give courtesy freely, without expecting anything in return. People may not even take notice, much less return the kindness, but you can take heart in the fact that you are creating the kind of world you want to live in with your actions.

When you are out in the world, remember to be aware of others, lend your hand when one is needed, and give this help without an ulterior motive. Through these small actions, you make this world a better place in which to live and the ripple effect may reach others too.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Our changing nests

Once we become parents, we are parents forevermore. our identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates us as mum or dad. Yet the role we undertake when we welcome children into our lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of nursery or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way.

sisters

As children earn greater levels of independence, parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mum or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honouring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honour a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support.

happychildren
An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honour their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do

Your perception of the traits and characteristics that make you who you are is often tightly intertwined with how you live your life.

We often define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that “wrong” decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalise our “poor” decisions by labelling ourselves incompetent decision-makers.

believe

However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence – what makes you a unique entity – exists independently of your decision-making process.

I believe there are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a “bad decision” was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently.

It is best to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. The past is gone and cannot be changed. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to understand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward.

donotfeedthefears

A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Making Conscious Decisions

Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular, it doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.  And  part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to determine exactly what is right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don’t always make the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, friends, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than drift along on the current of popular opinion.

happyladywithbook

It isn’t always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices different from the ones they are making or expect from you. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behaviour. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where gentleness, openness and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say we need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Grounding Ourselves

We often hear people telling us to ground ourselves, but we may not be sure what that means or even how we might do it. Grounding ourselves is a way of bringing ourselves literally back to earth. Some of us are more prone than others to essentially leaving our bodies and not being firmly rooted in our bodies. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this, but while we are living on the earth it is best to stay grounded in the body.

One of the easiest ways to ground ourselves is to bring our attention to our breath as it enters and leaves our bodies.  Concentrate on your breathing for a moment. After about 10 breaths, you will probably find that you feel much more connected to your physical self. You can then bring your awareness to the sensations in your body, moving from your head down to your feet, exploring and inquiring. Just a few minutes of this can bring you  home to your body and to the earth, and this is what it means to ground yourself.

tree of support

You can go further by imagining that you have roots growing out of the bottoms of your feet, connecting you to the earth. The roots flow with you so you can always move, but at the same time they keep you grounded. We all receive powerful energy from the earth just as we do from the forms of energy we associate with the sky, and our body is a tool that brings these two energies together in a sacred union. When we are grounded, we essentially become a strong container in which our spirits can safely and productively dwell. This is why grounding ourselves every day, especially at the beginning of the day, is such a beneficial practice. Fortunately, it’s as simple as bringing our conscious awareness to our bodies and the earth on which we walk.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk