Perception

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are affected by our perceptions – delight and despair come from within rather than from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious cause us no end of grief.

neon signage

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Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

The Universe is often unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we make of it.

If you are working in a job you dislike, you can think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your perspective, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Being alone

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from conception onward – this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling beliefs that you should set aside your own needs for the needs of others.

Until you know yourself, however, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

happy young woman sitting on floor in studio with closed eyes

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It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We can now support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

When we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we often find that there are times where being alone nourishes us while we find other times in which a partnership is best for our growth.  We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory.

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognisable roles or not.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship -the one with our true selves.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Don’t die with your music still in you

The title is a paraphrase of the Emerson quote about how “Most men die with their music still in them.”

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I doing what I came here to do?
  • Am I, at least in part, ‘playing my special music’?

If you answered yes to the questions, or are at least pursuing them, then I congratulate you. If your answer is no –  what you are waiting for?!

woman holding mirror against her head in the middle of forest

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We are all special in this world.  Each of us has some special contribution to make to the world.  Perhaps it’s to write a book.  Perhaps your special gift is in being a great teacher or coach. It could be you are the next person to discover a cure for a major disease, or to start a business and be the best you can be at what you do. Are you a builder who is passionate about your work?  Do you dream of being a great parent, artist, or baker?  Whatever the passion is within you, let it out.  Life is too fragile and uncertain to postpone your dreams, hoping that someday, you will really begin to live your life.  Begin now!  Whatever it is you are passionate about, you can begin it now.  What are you waiting for?

When I lived in Basingstoke, Hampshire, my next door neighbour Maureen was really looking forward to her retirement.  She had planned everything she was going to do with her life once she could stop work and concentrate on herself. There were so many things she hadn’t yet done and when she had the time after her retirement she was going to do them all. Six months before her 60th birthday Maureen was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died before she even got to be 60.  She never did get to retire or do all the many things that she had planned to do when she retired. It saddens me to see someone who is near the end their life, never having taken a step to realise their dream.  It saddens me that anyone should leave this earth with their music still in them. You owe it to yourself to let it out!

Imagine in your mind a mirror.  Look into that mirror and see yourself as you are today.  Now  I want you to imagine yourself at the age of 80, see those sparkling eyes looking back at you.  I want you then to turn round and look back through the years of your life and note all the things you have achieved up to the age of 80.  How many things have you achieved? Wouldn’t it be sad if you were to look back at 80 and say to yourself ‘I haven’t achieved anything in all my years’.  Don’t wait , begin now.  What are you waiting for? Don’t die with your music still in you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Saying Yes, Saying No

If you were to hover above your daily life and view all the things that make it up, at what you do with each minute of your 24 hours, each and every day, at all the people and things that are part of it.  How much of it would you feel you had actually chosen ?

The truth is you chose all of it, on some level or another.  And even if there are some things you don’t feel like you chose, you certainly chose to allow them to continue. So, if you have all this choice, how come you reach a point from time to time where life seems incredibly cluttered and pressured?  Maybe you have lost sight of what you’re saying yes to and no to…and why you are saying yes or no.

photo of person s hand with words

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If you’ve ever listened to yourself say yes when you really wanted to say no, you’ll know how bad that feels.  For some people, each day is like that.  So what does that leave them with?  Lots of what they don’t want filling their time and little or no time for what they do want to fill their time! My guess is that we all have been in this situation to a greater or lesser extent.  Perhaps we have over-committed ourselves to work or other areas, tried to fit too much into our time, attempted to do lots of things at once, finding ourselves doing things that don’t energise us and perhaps, in some cases, draining us.  So what do we do about it?  Have a spring-clean!

The secret to spring-cleaning your life is in the use of those simple words ‘yes’ and ‘no’.  Are there situations, people or commitments in your life that you regularly say yes to, that you’d love to be able to say no to?  How much time could you free up by saying no to things that don’t give you anything and that you don’t enjoy?  What could you do with that time instead? By consciously looking at what we don’t want to be doing with our time, we can clear out the clutter and make space for a better quality of life.  We open up our time for the things we enjoy, clearing the way for new opportunities to have fun and to grow. How refreshing will that be!

What will YOU say yes and no to?  If this has struck a chord with you, take action now and answer these questions one at a time, making notes as a reminder:

  • What do you currently spend your time on that you’d like to be able to say no to?
  • By saying no to those things, what will that free up your time for?
  • If you were to put yourself first, what commitments, situations and people would you say no to?
  • What will you say yes to instead?

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?  Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

sunset beach people sunrise

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We also know of those people who could moan for England! They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

  1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.
  2.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as previously mentioned above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Reasons or excuses?

There are many people who say they want to change their habits or behaviours for many reasons.  Maybe these habits or behaviours are no longer beneficial to them. Maybe they are preventing them from following their dreams.

That is what coaching is all about, helping you to change the habits and behaviours that are no longer working well for you.

time for change sign with led light

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BUT, here are just some of the reasons I have been given for not wanting to begin the change process:

  • It will be difficult
  • It’s going to be risky
  • It will take long time
  • There will be a family drama
  • I don’t deserve it
  • It’s not in my nature
  • I can’t afford it
  • No one will help me
  • It has never happened before
  • I’m not strong enough
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m too old (or not old enough)
  • The rules won’t let me
  • It’s too big
  • I don’t have the energy
  • It’s my personal history
  • I’m too busy
  • I’m too scared
  • What will other people think?

Those are not reasons, they are excuses. How do you know it will be difficult or risky? You do deserve it, you are strong and smart enough, you are never too old to change, what other people think is none of your business.

The bottom line is do you want to improve your life in some way or not?  It is your choice.  If you do then you need to get out of your own way, take the plunge and begin the change process.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

How to conquer our fear of failure

Our fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words  “I can’t”.  We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

black and white fence crime forbidden

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As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  This is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has been replaced as the parent and is perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but “I have to,” and “I have to,” but “I can’t.”

We can beat these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  Acting with courage in a fearful situation is a technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and they lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

Firstly, we need to realise and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever we feel afraid.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are, think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is the way we learn how to succeed.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Fear can block our creativity

That sounds daft I know but take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story.  Imagine yourself telling the story to someone you love and who loves you.  You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight, the feedback, even without words,  is positive.  Now, imagine telling that same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable.  The wonderful descriptions, the fine points and colourful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves.  Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will most likely feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down.  When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

young couple in casual clothes enjoying coffee and chatting

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Being aware of this is a positive as we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. Being in the flow is something that happens, not created.  It happens because we are so enthralled and wrapped up in what we are doing, that time flies by and before we know it a whole day has gone by.  Achieving being in the flow is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel uneasy and fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a creative and powerful antidote. Ensure you have everything you need to be creative. Have your right pens, paper, equipment ready.  Make sure you have a drink nearby, and something to snack on.  Play your favourite music if it helps.  Think about what creates the perfect space for you to be in the flow, and then let it happen naturally.  You cannot force it.  Flow will happen when your setting is right, when you are not fearful or being judged and you feel safe and warm.  Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The pros and cons of partaking of live-streaming modules of learning, in my experience.

Several years ago I undertook a year long course in a particular aspect of coaching. This involved several weekends in the year attending a physical two day learning session in London or I could stay at home and live-stream the event.  The costs for the physical course or live streaming were very similar.  I opted mostly for the physical attendance, but the very last weekend I opted for the live-streaming.  I have to say it was extremely good, it was almost as if you were in the room and I, and the other live-streamers, was included in the discussions, the break out sessions were well managed with little groups of people able to chat with each other and see each other from all over the world. It worked very well indeed.

laptop beside peach color wall

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A year or so later I wanted to attend another course, this time with different facilitators.  There were to be several physical weekends or live-streaming.  I plumped for the live-streaming as I had such a good experience the last time.  The costs of the course were similar to attending in person. What a mistake! This time basically there was a camera set up to video the main speakers. The camera did not move. The rest of the physical audience could not be seen. There was no interaction with the speakers or audience.  The break out sessions were laughable with half of the people asleep, gone for a tea break or not interested in talking.  At the end of the learning for the day the facilitators had to be reminded that there were still people live-streaming.  They admitted they had forgotten about them.  I didn’t attend any further sessions with them and gained a refund.

Beware of what is being offered to you.  Ask what you are getting, how you are getting it, if you will be involved.  Get good value for your money as these events are not cheap.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

Things We Don’t Want to Do

Most of us can remember tackling some task that we absolutely dreaded doing only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. Often when we do these dreaded tasks, we come out on the other side changed and wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long to get around to it. We might even start to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel repeat those feelings.

notebook

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Putting off that dreaded task creates obstacles for us, either because the task itself scares us, or we think it will bore us or we believe it will force a change we are not ready for.  On the other hand, facing that task at no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn’t want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.

I am sure we all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fuelled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk