Do you really know what will it take to make you happy?
Think about it and see if you can discover, or if you know, what it will take for you to be happy?
- Will being in a relationship, or with the right boyfriend/girlfriend make you happy?
- Will being married make you happy?
- Will having a million pounds make you happy?
- Will being successful make you happy?
- Will having better health make you happy?
- Will getting a new job make you happy?
- Will having a great career make you happy?
If you think the answer is yes to any or all of the above questions, you’ll never find happiness!
Surprised? Well don’t be. The truth is nothing can make you happy. Happiness is something we feel, not something we can find.
Being happy doesn’t depend on a particular outcome or something happening to you. There isn’t somewhere you can go and find happiness sitting there waiting for you.
Advertising of all sorts is designed to make you think that a new car, a particular skin cream, a new outfit, some new shoes, a drink or a new diet will make you happy, but that is simply not true. Nothing can make you happy because happiness is a feeling. Happiness is something you experience.
If you want to be happy, then be happy. Most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what they perceive is wrong with their life.
Think about it, you can’t be happy doing something that you don’t like. If you don’t believe me try it. Try doing something you despise and see if you can be happy at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be happy doing something you don’t enjoy!
You also can’t do something you really enjoy and be sad or angry. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what happens. Go and try doing something you really enjoy and see if you’re angry or miserable at the same time. That really doesn’t work.
Unfortunately, people believe they can be happy when they achieve a particular goal and make the mistake of chasing that goal in order to be happy. It’s really not achieving the goal that makes them happy. It’s the feeling of achieving the goal that provides another feeling, satisfaction perhaps, that is mistaken for happiness.
This mistake is quite common, because it’s not security or peace of mind that makes you happy. You experience happiness when you do what you enjoy and when you focus on the positive things taking place in your life. If you’re not doing that then you can never be happy. Don’t think that you can be happy just by having something.
You can experience happiness by achieving your particular goal, by doing what you enjoy, having fun while achieving your goals and choosing the right goals, the kind that allow you to be happy all the time. Focus on what you want.
Start doing the things that you enjoy. Look at the positive things that are going on in your life. Direct your mind and subconscious mind to help you experience happiness every day. This will start once you begin to appreciate the good things in your life.
Okay so how can you begin to be happy? It’s really quite simple, all you have to do is shift your focus.
Instead of looking at all that is wrong with your life, instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself or your life; constantly criticising; change your focus. Start appreciating all that is good in your life. You will probably find there are many things you appreciate.
Make a list if you want and write out all of the positive things in your life. Usually someone will say: “Maggie, I can’t think of anything positive or good in my life. I just want to be happy.” That’s only because you are not seeing all the positive things in your life. And so you’ll never be happy.
Every day there are wonderful things taking place in your life, yet you fail to observe and recognise them. You tend to take them for granted. This can be anything – a hot meal, a wonderful spouse, family, a beautiful flower, lambs playing in a field – If you have a roof over your head, that’s a positive aspect of your life.
Start looking at all of the great and terrific things that are going on in your life and you’ll begin to experience happiness on a deeper level. You can begin to improve or change the areas that you are not happy with but at the same time you should acknowledge the good things that are going on in your life.
Your mind is used to only paying attention to what is going wrong and in the process it directs the subconscious mind to continue creating more of those things that are going wrong. You actually create more of what makes you unhappy.
Why?
Because your subconscious creates what you regularly think about. So if you don’t regularly focus on the positive things you won’t create positive situations in your life.
And here’s where it gets worse. When you constantly focus on what is wrong with your life, when you only think about and see what is wrong in your life your subconscious begins to create more of what is wrong or more of what you don’t want because it thinks that you want more.
Now you know why it can be so difficult for some people to truly experience happiness, it’s because they’re used to focusing on the negative aspects of life and in the end continue to create more of what they don’t want.
In order to change all of this you have to begin training the mind and re-directing the subconscious mind to begin creating what you want in life and to focus on the good things that are taking place in your life.
Begin experiencing happiness by changing your focus. Every day think of the positive things that are going on in your life. Make a list of all the wonderful things that are taking place in your life.
Think of at least 3 great things that happened to you, they can be small or large – but just appreciate 3 good things that happened during the day. Focus on the positive. Direct your mind and subconscious mind by changing your perspective so you experience happiness everyday
Too often I hear from people who simply want to be happy but when I ask them what they do for fun they say: “Nothing.” No wonder you’re not happy. How can you be happy if you’re never having fun in life?
If you want to experience happiness then start doing things that you enjoy. You may like gardening; you may like hang gliding, you may like riding your bike, you may enjoy going for long walks, you may enjoy acting like a 5-year old – whatever it is start doing it and see how great you feel.
But there is one catch when you’re doing what you enjoy, you can only focus on that and not think about anything else that may be bothering you. That’s the only way you’ll truly enjoy the activity and begin to experience happiness.
As adults we get bogged down with the everyday tasks that force us to be serious. We have jobs where we’re serious, bills to pay, food to prepare, children to look after, it’s all too serious and it is necessary. I’m not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities – but take some time just to have some fun.
Now you can’t just have fun once a week or once a month. You have to do this every day. It can be for just 5 minutes a day if you like. That means every day you have to find something fun to do, and only then will you get comfortable and used to the process to the point where you regularly experience happiness. Once you start doing this you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll wonder why you never did this to begin with.
If you don’t feel you have the time to have fun and enjoy your life then you’re really saying that your happiness is not important enough. Only when you decide to be happy will you truly begin to experience happiness. You can work with the techniques I’ve outlined – they will help you get started. But you will need to train your mind and subconscious mind to begin seeing and living in a different way.
Maggie Currie
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Maggie Currie - Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author 