When we are confronted in a hurtful way this often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we often wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and take their actions personally. We might ask ourselves what we could have done to prompt them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their own uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. People will be overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, and may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as either a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to protect yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behaviour personally. First, however, get into a state of detachment that will provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their behaviour isn’t about you it is about their need to vent their emotions.
It can be difficult to remain unaffected by someone’s behaviour, but take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings. It may be this person is indirectly expressing a need to you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard— and you may be able to stop the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.
You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.
When you would like find out more about your emotions, contact me and begin your journey. I would love work with you.
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Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING