Maintaining our positive energy

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self-confidence.

We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room! You know the ones I mean, as soon as they walk into a room the atmosphere changes for the worse.

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and try to bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to.

Some family members can be a lot like this as well.  We can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

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So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.
  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us, unless we allow them to.

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

This is me…… Your questions answered

How on earth do you manage to juggle working, writing, being a wife and a mother?

Having been a medical secretary for 20 years or so, I learned early on how to prioritise and I carried this into my home life.  I also learned to delegate too.  The grocery shopping is delivered which saves me several hours each week and leaves me the time I need to work and look after my husband.  All my children have left home and have children of their own, so they don’t need my constant attention.

What inspired you to write your books?

When I hit rock bottom about thirty years ago, I had very limited help or access to help, because there was none to be had.  I remember I had the flu, all the children had chicken pox and we were all sitting huddled in the living room of my tiny flat and I had just one 50p coin left for the meter.  I had no job, I perceived I had no prospects because I had been told for years that I was useless and nobody would want to employ me. I thought I have to change something because if I don’t I am not going to survive, and if I don’t survive my three small children won’t survive either.  I had to change the way I thought about myself.  So I changed one thought, ‘I do have prospects and I can get a job’.  My parents brought me more coins for the meter and when I was better I went out and got myself a job in a school kitchen cooking the dinners.  It kick started me back to a proper career and I wrote the books because I didn’t want anyone else to be in that position, and if it helps just one person I shall be so pleased.

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Where do you work? Do you have a regular pattern or routine or other?

I work for myself providing a virtual secretarial service globally.  There are some parts to the work that are regular, but mostly it is irregular.  Sometimes I can be working at 11 o’clock at night, and other days I am finished by lunchtime.  Additionally I am a highly qualified life coach also working globally and often I am coaching clients at 7am my time which could be 6pm their time, or I could be coaching at 5pm my time which is 9am their time.  As well as that I run a community interest company which helps people who have suffered domestic abuse.

I am a volunteer radio presenter for Vectis Radio and really enjoy this aspect of my life.

I love the flexibility of working from home and not having a boss.  So no there is no particular pattern or routine.

Who would you like/or do share a cup of coffee and a natter with?

I would love to sit down and have a natter with Oprah Winfrey.  She is such an inspirational woman who gives so much time to others and has come from a very poor background but has never forgotten her roots.  I have seen a couple of her chat shows but they don’t interest me, Oprah herself interests me. I would love to find out more about the real person behind the public persona.

I also love chatting with Carol Bridgestock who is an amazing woman who writes crime novels with her husband Bob, fund raises and is a champion of all people and an inspiration.

How do you relax?

I like to relax at home with a glass of wine and good dvd.  It could be a film or a series, I have just finished watching ‘Smash’ a series about writing and finding the right actors to play the parts in a musical about Marilyn Monroe.  I tend to watch the films and series I like on my own when my husband is out in the evenings on occasion.  And of course I read quite a lot too.

What do you have in your handbag right now?

I have a notebook and several pens, purse,  Kindle, diary, mobile phone, car keys, house keys, business cards and that’s about it.

What’s your favourite smell?

I love the smell of freshly baked bread , I also love the smell of basil, it always smells so fresh and clean.  New babies smell gorgeous too.  I don’t do very well with perfumes as I am allergic to them so everything I have is unperfumed.

What’s the best advice you’ve been given or best advice you’d give?

The best advice I have been given is to just be yourself.  And that is the best advice I give anyone.  You can’t be anyone else, so just be yourself and be the very best you that you can be.

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This is me – Maggie Currie

What’s your favourite book/Film as a child/adult?

My favourite book as a child was Winnie the Pooh and as an adult it has been Gormanghast.  Winnie the Pooh because there is so much positivity in it and Gormanghast because it was written by a man in the trenches on little scraps of paper and it is what kept him sane.  The descriptions are stunning and the story so imaginative.

What are you working on now?

I am working on presenting a 12 module course for people who have escaped from domestic abuse, bullying in the workplace, and indeed those people who want to escape.  I have run some pilot courses with great feedback and am now starting on the programme with two courses running at the moment, one in the day and one in the evening. In January a third course will start on the mainland. So a very busy time.  Working on getting funding is time consuming, but I have been very lucky to get funding from The Lottery, The Island Foundation and Wightaid, as well as support from On The Wight.

I have another project which is a summer house in my back garden.  It is actually a fold up caravan that is around 45-50 years old.  I bought it this year and it has seen better days.  But it is going to have new curtains to brighten it up. I am going to paint the inside a lovely cream colour (it is currently pink) and it has got some ‘new’ seats that came from a caravan someone was breaking. It is peaceful to sit in the garden in all weathers and be in nature. And of course, if I don’t like where it is, I can fold it up and move it.

If you won the lottery what would you spend it on?

I would donate some of the money to my favourite charity The Isle of Wight Donkey Sanctuary, some I would use to help fund a safe haven for people to get away from domestic abuse.  If it were millions I am not sure what I would with it to be honest. Maybe buy an island of my very own – who knows?

Who do you admire in the literary world? Who do you consider your mentor? (Again can be used in any field of work you do)

I admire anyone who can write a book or novel that holds my attention and makes me want to keep reading.  There are too many books out there that I can’t get past the first couple of pages and that is a shame because they may get better as they go on, but I don’t want to read any more.  As for mentors I have several, some of whom are writers, some are life coaches and some are friends.  They are located in Australia, USA and UK and I communicate with them weekly, sometimes daily via Facebook.  And of course my husband is my greatest mentor as he supports and encourages me in everything I do.

Testimonials – Due to confidentiality they have been anonymised

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.” SR, USA

I have made some significant changes to what I do and how I behave.  Change is always difficult but you just have to have confidence, back yourself and go for it don’t you!!  Your book was the first step I took to set me on the way for this latest, and final, journey.  I have picked up a few other things on the way and there is no turning back now!!’ TB, IoW

‘Maggie helped me to recognise that I was stagnating and I chose not to do that any longer. I have changed my life dramatically in just one year and now I am really enjoying my life and my new relationship.’ LR, Gloucester.

“Things are really good. There is very much a difference in my homelife now, very rarely do I even think about work, which is great. Even my daughter has noticed a difference. I don’t seem to get stressed like I used to. I really can’t thank you enough for your help!” VP, IOW.

“It was quite apparent my immediate need for her guidance and advice regarding publishing my book have been adequately and superbly catered for by Maggie.” RS, Portsmouth.

Maggie Currie has a heart as big as the Universe!! She gets people, all people, especially those who are feeling ‘less than’. Maggie helps them to feel ‘more than’ who they believed themselves to be. We need more Maggie’s in the world!'” MS, UK

“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!”— JL. Milton Keynes.

“Thanks for the notes and your time yesterday. The idea of getting help was a major breakthrough for me and I am laughing at myself and in total disbelief that I had to be led by you to that very obvious solution!!! I guess you must get that all the time though. Getting help will open up the possibilities of what I can achieve enormously and I actually woke up this morning raring to go instead of dreading the day’s work.”. KG, Surrey

“Maggie, your well placed questions and non-judgemental help in our coaching session really helped me to think more clearly about my situation. ” GL, Paris, France

“‘Oh, what a wonderful call I just had with Maggie, she has a way of coaxing out of me things and putting others in proper perspective. Feeling so much better, the little residual of melancholy about the fourth of July was gone by the end of the call. Great feeling letting it go. Now to get on with the rest of the day I am feeling very upbeat’.”
VB, USA

“‘I wasn’t sure what to do in my relationship, Maggie helped me understand that I was worrying about things that I imagined might happen and not living in the relationship. Once I got my head around that and stopped thinking about imaginary scenarios, things improved dramatically and my partner and other people noticed the positive difference in me'” LR, Australia

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.” –  DU, UK

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Self acceptance

How we see ourselves is frequently completely different from the way others see us.  That doesn’t mean that how others see us is wrong, but we can judge ourselves very easily by what we perceive other people think.  This ‘self judgement’ can distort our view of ourselves. But we can change that distorted view, and become aware of who we really are and learn to accept ourselves exactly as we are.

I know that I began to learn to accept myself by working out what my subconscious beliefs were about myself. And then I began to challenge those beliefs so that I could get to a positive place where I was kind and gentle with myself instead of being harsh and critical.

I began by looking in the mirror and really seeing myself.  It was hard at first, because I didn’t like looking at me.  But I stuck at it and learned to accept myself just as I am.

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My first suggestion is for you to practice the following exercise, it may take several attempts, but that is okay.  Take as long as you need to.  If it takes several days or several weeks, that is okay.  If tears come along, let them flow.  They won’t hurt you, but they will help you.

I would like you to look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud to yourself who you see.  Speak in the third person.

  • What do you see when you look at them?
  • Who have they become?
  • How do they feel about the life that they are living?
  • Anything else?

 

I would like you to verify each of the beliefs you have and explain why you believe it. Write them down.

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Are the beliefs true or has someone said this to you along the way? Who was it?

The second part of this exercise is much more fun.  I would like you to make a list of as many opposite or neutral beliefs (opposite from those you wrote above) as you can and begin building your strong positive internal dialogue.

Think back, can you remember when you believed something negative about yourself and you managed to change your perspective to a positive way of thinking about you?

Write your new beliefs down.

  • How do they want to look?
  • What would  they be wearing?
  • How would they stand?
  • What would their facial expression be like?
  • Anything else?

What is this telling you?

If any of this resonates with you, get in touch and we can have a chat about how we can work together if you would like.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Rebuilding Self-esteem

Having self-esteem means feeling good about yourself.  It means you feel worthy of happiness, health, love and forgiveness.  When you have a healthy level of self-esteem you have a strong sense of your personal power.  Then, and only then, can you move forward positively in your life.

When your self-esteem isn’t it tact, it has been diminished by constant reminders that you are worthless, useless and nobody wants you, you feel frightened and vulnerable.  You are open to the challenges life brings but, as they breeze in, they knock you over and you feel incapable.

To rebuild your self-esteem and ultimately your self-confidence, you have to examine your beliefs about who you are and remind yourself daily of your talents, your qualities and your abilities.  You must dare to question your direction in life and learn to dream again.  And, by taking some very gentle baby steps, you will begin to rebuild your foundation again and build your self-esteem and confidence on that foundation.

One of the first ways to begin this process is to stop worrying about what other people think of you.  What other people think of you is none of your business.  Let them think whatever they like.

What you will usually find is that other people are far more worried about what you think of them to even begin to think about what they think of you.

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You are human.  All human beings make mistakes and we usually recover.  From now on I want you to do what is right for YOU, regardless of what other people think.

I want you to take personal responsibility for your role in each and every situation you face in your life.  Understand that your thinking and your attitude create your life.

Consider how you respond to people and situations.  Look at how you can change your responses to put you in control of your life – NOW.

You can’t change other people, but you can change your response to them.

One of the very first steps to rebuilding your self-esteem is to let go of the past.  By holding on to negative and angry feelings and emotions you are the only person who is suffering.  It is like picking up a burning coal to throw at something and not letting go.  The longer you hold on to it, the more you are burned.

Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. As I said, we are all human.  You are doing the best that you can.

Set yourself free to move your life forward.  Don’t allow past mistakes to weigh you down.

the past

Another thing to let go of is perfection.  Accept yourself as you are, now in this moment. Life is a huge learning curve and you are doing the best that you can with the resources, knowledge and insights that you have.

By judging yourself as imperfect you are removing your opportunity to grow, learn and experience happiness in your life.

Gently nurture yourself, as you would a small child.  Accept that others can make mistakes and are imperfect too.

Don’t compare yourself to other people.  Drop your expectation of others having to be perfect. We are all human with human imperfections.

Choose not to scream at yourself or condemn yourself for perceiving you are stupid or for not being perfect.

Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself in all situations.  Quieten that harsh voice that is terrorising your mind.  Know that you can deal with much more than you think.

If this resonates with you and you would like to have a conversation about this subject, please get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

We are conditioned both deliberately and accidentally throughout life

As we go through life we learn a vast amount of things, and we start from the very moment we are born (some say before we are born, and they may well be right).

We are conditioned deliberately in some cases, and accidentally in others.  Deliberate conditioning often comes from our parents/guardians, from religious leaders, from teachers, group leaders such as Akela in scouts, Brown Owl in Brownies etc.

We learn how to eat our food, when to eat our food. We learn the boundaries we must adhere to in school, such as when playtime is, where we have to sit to do our work, what work we have to do, when we can talk and when we must be quiet.

Brownies are conditioned to learn new skills to gain the badges that are liberally sewn on to their sashes, and likewise with scouts.

We are conditioned to go to bed at certain times, to get up at certain times, to be seen and not heard, to not answer back, to not talk when the adults are talking, to do our homework and a million other things too.

We can be conditioned by relatives, partners, children and many other sources to behave in a particular way.  Some of those ways are for our own safety and some of them are for control of you.  You have to decide which is which.

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Accidental conditioning can come from anywhere.  For instance, a young couple got married and the new wife decided to cook a Sunday roast.  She got her leg of lamb from the butcher and broke the top part of the leg bone and put it in a roasting tin.  He new husband asked her why she broke the bone and the new wife replied ‘that’s what my mum does’.

A few weeks later the newly weds went to the new wife’s mum’s house for Sunday dinner.  The mum had got lamb and she got the joint and broke the top part of the bone and put it in the roasting tin.  Her son-in-law asked her why she did that and she replied ‘ that’s what my mum does’.

A few months down the line and the newly weds go to Grandma’s for Sunday lunch.  The new husband tells Grandma about his wife and her mother breaking the bone of the leg of lamb and explained how they said they did it because Grandma does it.  Grandma laughed and said ‘Oh, do they still do that? I only did that because I didn’t have a roasting tin big enough’, and she laughed. She had accidentally conditioned her daughter who had accidentally conditioned her daughter.

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Think about the conditioning you have had throughout your life.  Is it still relevant now?  Do you have to do things in the same way or can you change the way you do some things?  Do you want to change things or are you happy with the way they are?

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk