You are great!

One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities. By looking at the list you will be able to say “Wow, I really am good!” It is a true reflection of your abilities.

Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you actually are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.

As a practical exercise list 5 people who you know and trust.  Make sure they are from different areas of your life.

List them: Here are a few suggestions

  • A family member
  • A friend
  • A work colleague
  • An associate
  • A social contact
  • An evening class member
  • A group member

You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback. Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.

Just go for it!

email

So, how do you go about it? Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each person on your list.

I recommend that you explain the context of the exercise however you feel is best and then email them the questions so they can email their feedback to you.

  1. What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?
  2. What do you like most about me?
  3. What do you value most about me?
  4. What three words sum up the positive points about me?
  5. If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?

They will feel honoured that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence. Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence. By completing this exercise you will get a genuine insight into some of your strengths.

Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!

After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

  • How do you feel about it?
  • Are there any surprises?
  • Do you feel confident about your abilities?
  • How can you use this information going forward?
  • How can you maximise your strengths?

 

golden courage dust

Here is some golden courage dust to help you on your way with this exercise.

 

If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?

  • What are the key insights you have learned?
  • What will you do now differently from what you have done before?

I would love to hear about your experience of doing this exercise.

Maybe you need help to begin thinking more positively about yourself.  So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ Thought is the master key that opens the world of reality to all living creatures.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Improve your body language, improve your self confidence!

The way that you move your body, and how you walk has an enormous effect on the way that you feel and affects your confidence levels.

Lets start with an exercise.

Imagine there are two people standing in front of you – one with “negative body language” and one with “positive body language”.  I’d now like you to write down what you are observing with each of these people

Positive                   Negative

 

  • How are they standing?
  • Where are their eyes looking?
  • What position are they holding their head?
  • How are they talking?
  • How are they moving?

Business people communicating with each other against white

How you feel at any moment in time is linked to what is going on in your mind and how you are moving your body. The way that you move sends subconscious messages to your mind and this either helps or hinders the way that you feel.

Emotion is created by motion. If you sit still for a long period of time your natural energy levels automatically get lower. And what happens when you get up, walk around and return to your seat?  Yes, you have more energy and you’re given a boost.

I can’t stress how important it is to move and act confidently and positively. You will give off all the right vibes to everyone around you and it will make them think that you are confident even if you’re not feeling it inside. Yes, that’s right. Even if you’re not feeling confident, act as though you are.

So, how do you do this?

  • Walk swiftly and with a purpose. Don’t saunter along, walk like you know exactly where you are going and when you get there you mean business!
  • Gesture with your hands as you talk, it will create motion and you know what that leads to – EMOTION! The right gestures also have a major impact on building rapport as long as you’re not shaking your fist!
  • All it takes is a smile!  Think for a moment about your confidence role model. One thing that he/she and confident people in general have in common is that they all probably smile a lot and are happier than their negative counterparts. It may sound silly, but there is a lot of power associated with a smile.

Start smiling more often. Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to walk around with a silly grin on your face all of the time. But smile as you walk down the street, when you talk to someone, even when you look in the mirror at yourself. You will be surprised at how much better you will feel for it, and it will project a positive image to all others – one that will attract opportunities and people.

Remember that confident people are happy people and negative people are not. Happy people are also seen as more attractive than unhappy and sad people so that is an added bonus!

You know, the way that we communicate in our appearance, posture, gesture, gaze and expression can be such a powerful tool in the way that we feel and when communicating with others. The manner in which you communicate and your interpersonal skills are also very important indeed. Effective communication is vital if you are going to succeed no matter what you are doing.

iStock_000006933714Medium (2)

The way in which we communicate with people is broken down into component parts, and it is popularly believed that people to whom we are speaking understand what we say by interpreting these different elements in varying proportions:

VERBAL – 7% of our message is interpreted from the words we use.

VOCAL – 38% is picked up from our voice – speed, tone , pitch, rhythm etc

VISUAL – 55% is what the other person sees – our body language

Please bear the above in mind when you are communicating to people.

If you are ever feeling down, just have a look at your body language and change it immediately. YOU WILL start to feel better and more confident immediately.

First impressions count – notice body language. You can normally tell what others are feeling by the way that they are moving and using their body too. You can use this to your advantage when you are more aware of it.

So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ There is no end or limitation, nor are there boundaries, to the human mind.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Confidence Secret Agent 008!

Are you ready to have some fun?  Are you ready to go beyond enemy lines in the line of duty for queen and country?

Ok, ok I know I’m getting carried away – how about completing another confidence building exercise instead?!

Success leaves clues wherever it goes…

In order to get the desired confidence levels that you are after it pays to be a copycat!

Another word for this is modelling.

By observing and modelling successful behaviour, in this case people with high levels of confidence, you can pick up little golden nuggets of tips, techniques and the strategies that they use.

By observing how they walk, talk and act you too can take what they do, put it into your own life and get the same results.

Don’t believe me?

Try this exercise out over the next couple of days and see how you feel!

Your mission…if you choose to accept it…….

Over the next 3 days I want you to observe other people – pretend that you are undercover! However, no newspapers with two eye-holes cut out are allowed!

magnifying-glass

I want you to observe all types of people –

  • confident people,
  • shy people,
  • outgoing people,
  • people talking,
  • people being quiet,
  • how people interact with each other.
  • Observe people who know one another,
  • people who are strangers,
  • Look closely at what they say and do.
  • How are they moving their body?
  • What do they do with their head?
  • How do they speak?
  • How do others react to them?
  • Would you like to talk to this person?
  • Are they smiling and laughing?
  • Would you like to be this person?

Write down 5 behaviours or things that you have observed over the past 3 days that make you say :

“I want to be like that!”

iStock_000004706304XSmall (2)

For your next mission, if you should choose to accept it…….

For the following 2 days, I want you to take just 1 of the 5 behaviours/things that you have written down and I want you to act that way for the duration of those 2 days.

Pretend that you have been given an assignment (because you have!) to just act like that for 2 days.

That’s it, no longer, no less.

Pretend it’s a game.

After the 2 days you will soon discover the magic of modelling behaviours.

Then you’ll move onto the next behaviour and the next and the..

If this is something that interests you and is something you would like to experience by working with me, get in touch today.  I will be delighted to chat to you about how I will support you through the changes you want to make.  I will deliver the goods and help you get the results you want.  It’s time to really invest in yourself.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a whole load of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t want or need to – the person who they had a row with, but neither is now speaking to the other – but both want to.  The ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but you don’t.

This is very common and you are definitely not alone, I have done it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional baggage that you could be doing without? If you were to lose that emotional weight you could be focusing on something more productive instead.

Does this resonate with you?  If you are carrying around a lot of emotional baggage, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Take a look at your life and begin to get rid of this baggage by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.  You are decluttering your mind too.  The less cluttered your mind, the clearer you will be able to think.

This is one of the most important things to do I have discovered whilst working with the Three Principles – Mind, Consciousness and Thought. A new paradigm that is changing the face of coaching. They produce clearer thinking, better performance and bigger results.

iStock_000004706304XSmall (2)

Take as long or as short a time as you like to answer these questions and finish the exercise. By writing your answers down they become more real.

Get to it and watch your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

Make an action plan to get rid of or communicate to others the things that you have been putting up with. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan to reduce this number! Take action!

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send a card or an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here and the now. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that not only knock your self esteem but take up valuable thinking time.

tips

If the Three Principles are something that interests you and is something you would like to experience by working with me, get in touch today.  I will be delighted to chat to you about how I will support you through the changes you want to make.  I will deliver the goods and help you get the results you want.  It’s time to really invest in yourself.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

How do you see yourself?

How you see yourself probably begins with you assessing yourself against a combination of the qualities and attributes of many people that you most admire.  Your ‘self-ideal’ is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

It is interesting that with most people, everything they do on a day-to-day basis is affected by them comparing their activities with their view of their ideal qualities and then striving to behave consistently with them.

I have noticed that successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their lives, whilst unsuccessful people generally have fuzzy ideals.

When you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal will change.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

youbecomewhatyouthink

Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where you are safe, there are no limits with the exception of the ones that you accept.

Think about the following:

  • What is your vision of the very best person you want to be?
  • How would you behave each day if you were already that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you look and stand, how you appear to other people? What do you hear? What do you see? What are you wearing? What is around you? Who is around you? Make the picture as bright and colourful as you can.  Add sounds, smells, colours, textures.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

Firstly, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals or targets for yourself.  Allow yourself to imagine your wonderful life ahead.

Secondly, think about how you will act when you are living your wonderful life.  Begin acting like you have achieved this goal.  You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour, you will notice a change in your body language. Others will notice too. We become what we think.

dosomethingtoday

If you are not sure where to begin get in touch with me today and we can have a chat about how I can help you.

 

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Improve your body language, improve your confidence!

The way that you move your body, and how you walk has an enormous effect on the way that you feel and affects your confidence levels.

Lets start with an exercise.

Imagine there are two people standing in front of you – one with “negative body language” and one with “positive body language”.

??????????????????????                                                            teenage depression - teen woman sitting thinking

I’d now like you to write down what you are observing with each of these people:

Positive                                                                                                                                        Negative

  • How are they standing?
  • Where are their eyes looking?
  • What position are they holding their head?
  • How are they talking?
  • How are they moving?

How you feel at any moment in time is linked to what is going on in your mind and how you are moving your body. The way that you move sends subconscious messages to your mind and this either helps or hinders the way that you feel.

Emotion is created by motion. If you sit still for a long period of time your natural energy levels automatically get lower. And what happens when you get up, walk around and return to your seat?  Yes, you have more energy and you’re given a boost.

I can’t stress how important it is to move and act confidently and positively. You will give off all the right vibes to everyone around you and it will make them think that you are confident even if you’re not feeling it inside. Yes, that’s right. Even if you’re not feeling confident, act as though you are.

So, how do you do this?

  • Walk swiftly and with a purpose. Don’t saunter along, walk like you know exactly where you are going and when you get there you mean business!
  • Gesture with your hands as you talk, it will create motion and you know what that leads to – EMOTION! The right gestures also have a major impact on building rapport as long as you’re not shaking your fist!
  • All it takes is a smile!  Think for a moment about your confidence role model. One thing that he/she and confident people in general have in common is that they all probably smile a lot and are happier than their negative counterparts. It may sound silly, but there is a lot of power associated with a smile.

Start smiling more often. Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to walk around with a silly grin on your face all of the time. But smile as you walk down the street, when you talk to someone, even when you look in the mirror at yourself. You will be surprised at how much better you will feel for it, and it will project a positive image to all others – one that will attract opportunities and people.

iStock_000006933714Medium (2)

Remember that confident people are happy people and negative people are not. Happy people are also seen as more attractive than unhappy and sad people so that is an added bonus!

You know, the way that we communicate in our appearance, posture, gesture, gaze and expression can be such a powerful tool in the way that we feel and when communicating with others. The manner in which you communicate and your interpersonal skills are also very important indeed. Effective communication is vital if you are going to succeed no matter what you are doing.

The way in which we communicate with people is broken down into component parts, and it is popularly believed that people to whom we are speaking understand what we say by interpreting these different elements in varying proportions:

VERBAL – 7% of our message is interpreted from the words we use.

VOCAL – 38% is picked up from our voice – speed, tone , pitch, rhythm etc

VISUAL – 55% is what the other person sees – our body language

Please bear the above in mind when you are communicating to people.

If you are ever feeling down, just have a look at your body language and change it immediately. Even if it has to be false – YOU WILL start to feel better and more confident immediately.

First impressions count – notice body language. You can normally tell what others are feeling by the way that they are moving and using their body too. You can use this to your advantage when you are more aware of it.

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

maggieheart
Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they come from but I sometimes wake up feeling that way.
I remember one such occasion, I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I went to every Thursday morning at 7am, which meant getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed ready for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings were full of energy and fun and a pleasure to be at, but on this day it was a little different. One of our members had split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is now living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she had suddenly gone.

There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, but they were so unnecessary and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

Business people communicating with each other against white

When the meeting finished I took some items to the DHL drop point to send around the world, as I do several times a week with my secretarial business. This should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour because the computer system wouldn’t let them put in the address and postcode I had for one item going to China, and a call to the helpdesk was needed and this took forever. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of every one and every thing.

So instead of getting back to my office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me.

telephonedial

The night before I had been on a fabulous phone call with two coaching colleagues. The creativity and ideas were flowing from them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly.

So, I believe that I was feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at that particular moment I wasn’t sure where.

I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so.

Having written all this I felt much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people.  I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

tips

So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:

 

My creativity 

  • Superb coach
  • Brilliant cook
  • Expert typist
  • Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
  • Brilliant writer and author
  • Fabulously intuitive
  • Do my accounts satisfactorily
  • Create a good workspace
  • Create opportunities for clients
  • Create opportunities to get clients
  • Great supporter
  • Impactful
  • Great teacher
  • Create achievable goals for my clients and for myself

 

My Innovativity

  • Build relationships online and in person
  • Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
  • Find new ways for me to succeed
  • Lead by example
  • Positive and encouraging to all
  • Hear beyond the words

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me.  You are not alone.  I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself.  As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning.  I really do look forward to hearing from you with your lists of creativity and innovativity. Get in touch today to find out how my inspirational coaching can transform first you – and then your life

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
 
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
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Find out more about me and my ‘Why’ on my website