When I was young I had zero confidence. Looking back on all that I’ve accomplished so far it seems hard to imagine that I once had such a lack of self esteem and belief in myself I was reluctant to go to parties, to meet new people or to speak unless I was spoken to. I was told as a child that children should be seen and not heard. Because I heard it so often, I believed it.
I recognise that we are all still vulnerable and confidence issues are always lurking no matter our age or successes. My clients and I have had extensive conversations around this topic because it is a repetitive theme we encounter when working with both men and women.
So I want to share some great tips to help you kick-start the rebuilding your confidence in yourself.
Confidence comes from really meaning what you say and then following through. When you decide to do something, think about what you are promising yourself or others. If you can only manage 10 minutes of exercise, do 10 minutes. If you are going for a shiny new job, create a game plan you can stick to. If you want to improve your education, work out exactly how and when you are acting on it. Doing what you say you will do builds confidence not only within yourself, but also in others. If you can’t keep your word to yourself, how will others trust you to keep your word? Remember that the word confidence comes from the Latin word meaning “to trust fully.” You must only commit to that which you can really follow through on.
Confront head on the things you are afraid or anxious about. There are times when your course of action may be to avoid. Do this regularly and your confidence disappears because you are choosing to let fear rule your mind. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do something every day that scares you.” Exercise your confidence muscle every day by doing something that is just a tiny bit scary for you and watch your confidence begin to shift and soar.
We ALL have that little voice in our heads that tells us we’re not good enough, that others are better than us, or that we don’t deserve success. No matter how many times we tell that voice to shut up, it can be very draining to our confidence. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who are there to support you when you’re not feeling confident. The more cheerleaders you have in your life, the better you’ll feel about yourself.
Remember past positive experiences. When you think of positive things, you generate and magnify positive emotions, while at the same time beat back negative ones. Start each day thinking of an experience you had in which you felt strong, positive emotions and feelings of confidence. Close your eyes and visualise as clearly as you can in great detail, as if it were happening again. The better and more often you do this, the more you will improve your daily confidence. Please remember that while this strategy can work well, if you always find yourself in the same type of situations feeling a lack of confidence, it’s a sign you’re not addressing the root of your confidence issues. And addressing the root is the most important thing to do in your personal development.
It’s time to drop the façade, be vulnerable and share your most real self with the people around you – family, friends, and colleagues – and let them see all of you. The strong you, the frightened you, the self-assured you, the funny you, and the you that is hidden from everyone because of your lack of confidence in “their” reactions. Have and show your emotions fully – from sadness and happiness to fear and joy. When you keep the full range of your true self hidden from others, no one can know who you really are, and that undermines your confidence. While it may feel scary to be vulnerable, you’ll find that the more you show the real you, the more others will be willing to share their authentic selves too. And the amazing gift is the confidence you will achieve when you realise that people actually like and prefer the real you, the confident you.
If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .
I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING