Your Ideal Self and Life

Your self-concept is made up of various parts, each of which affects each of the others. Understanding these parts enables you to become nearer to your ideal self.  When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept, you can then control your destiny for the rest of your life.

The first part of the self-concept is your “self-ideal.”  Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality.  Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

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Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity.  Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them. Always remember, that you are innately authentic in the way you live your life.  Don’t do anything that is false, be true to your authentic self.

Successful people have very clear ideals for themselves.  Unsuccessful people have fuzzy ideals.  Successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives.  Unsuccessful people don’t give the subject very much thought.  One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviours are consistent with their idealised behaviours.

Part of your ideals are your goals.  As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallises.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

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Perhaps the most important thing for you to realise is that whatever anybody else has done or become, you can do or become as well.  Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you accept.

  • What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become?
  • How would you behave each day if you were already that person?

Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people.  If you don’t like what you see in your picture, change it.  There are no limits here – you are safe to change anything in your picture.  Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with your answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

Firstly, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life.  Remember your goals have to be achievable by you.  But step outside of your comfort zone, even by a couple of tiny steps, and see what a difference it makes. Allow yourself to imagine your wonderful life ahead.

Secondly, think about how you would act if you believed you were the outstanding person in your vision in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play.  You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Remember to remain true to your authentic self.  Practice all of the above.

If any of this resonates with you, please contact me and let me know your results. I love to hear all about your successes.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Get out of your own way

When you are facing obstacles that seem to be blocking you from achieving your goals, try not to get discouraged. It is so easy to feel “stuck” or that “life” is creating obstacles preventing you from getting what you want. It is also easy to look at everyone else for the problem, perhaps even wanting to “get rid” of that person we may feel is blocking us. Often the best course of action to take is to look inside ourselves first. Nobody else can make you feel stuck, or make you feel blocked.  You are responsible for your own feelings, and only you.

It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that is what we are doing. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results. You have heard the well known saying ‘If you want to get what you have always had, then keep doing what you have always done’.

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If you believe that you’ve been getting in your own way,  write down how you think you’ve done this. Write down the choices you’ve made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle with yourself during this process. Don’t blame yourself for getting in your own way.

When you are finished, tear up and throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you’ve created to block yourself. Start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you’ve decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can allow you to do just that.

If this resonates with you and you would like to have a conversation about this or any other subject, please get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Perception

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are affected by our perceptions – delight and despair come from within rather than from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious cause us no end of grief.

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Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

The Universe is often unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we make of it.

Take working in a job you dislike, what if you were able to think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

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To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. The wonder on their faces and the curiosity is amazing to watch.  You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your perspective, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Cause and Effect

How do you live your life?  Do you live it at cause – or do you live it at effect?  And what does that mean for you?

Take two people going for interviews for a job, both have all the right credentials and experience for the role.  One of them approaches their interview from the perspective that it’s completely down to their performance as to whether they get the job or not.  They will choose how to present and project themselves and they will take 100% responsibility for their result.  They feel pretty confident and in control.

The other person is approaching their interview differently – from the perspective that they’ll do the best they can, but ultimately it’s down to the interviewer’s opinion of them and the other candidates’ performance against theirs.  They feel they have little control over the outcome, which makes them pretty nervous, and they believe that interview situations never bring out the best in them, so why should this one be any different?

Which one is more likely to be successful?  In my experience that would be the first person.  A clear example of being ‘at cause’.

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We know that a cause is something that makes something else happen.  So when we’re talking about living at cause, it’s all about causing things to happen, making choices, taking action and full responsibility.  Notice the position of power this puts you in  .

On the other side of the equation, an effect is what happens because of the cause.  So living on the effect side means having things happen to us, living with excuses and reasons why something couldn’t be, the choice and responsibility is ‘taken’ out of our hands.  It’s a feeling of powerlessness and of being the victim, in many cases.

Think about people you know at each side of the equation.  Firstly those people around you who know that if they want to do something, they will do it.  They make their decision, they choose their approach and they keep going until they achieve what they wanted.  If something isn’t working, they find another way and make it work, taking full responsibility for their goal and whatever happens on the way.  They choose to have their result.

Think about people you know on the effect side.  In situations where they want something, but see themselves at the whim of others as to whether they get it.  Setbacks are almost expected and they allow them to be setbacks.  Everything is down to outside influences, they blame others and feel powerless.  They end up with a bunch of excuses and not their result.

The interesting thing is that people on either side of the equation, whether at cause or effect, will each walk away patting themselves on the back.  Why?  Well, of course, the ‘at cause’ group chose to have their result and they got it.  While for the ‘at effect’ people it was completely out of their hands right from the start.  They found  a reason (excuse?) why they couldn’t have their result and walked away saying “see, I knew it wouldn’t work”.  Either way they were right.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

So the question to you really should be – not which side do you live at, but which side do you want to live at?  Cause or effect?  The key point here is that at any given moment, you have the choice. You either allow what’s happening to affect you and hold on to your excuses.  Or you take full responsibility for what is going on and choose to get your result.  I know which I choose!

Try this… put yourself back at Cause!

Want to know the one question that can pull you out of that powerless feeling of being ‘at effect’?

How have I chosen to create this right now?

It’s that simple.  In any situation, if you can stop, ask that question of yourself and accept that no matter how much you want to answer it with “well, actually, I didn’t create this”… you did. If you can accept 100% responsibility for what’s going on, you put yourself at cause and you immediately grant yourself the power to change it.

The next chance you get, try this.  I would love to know what result you get.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Impacting lives

A year ago I verbalised that I intended to impact the lives of a million people and help them to become the authentic people that they are. Help them to rebuild their confidence in themselves and their abilities and become functioning human beings again. The functioning human beings they were before they forgot how to function.

I was inspired by both my daughter’s journey through leaving an abusive marriage, staying in a refuge and making a new life and home for herself and her children.  Plus I was inspired by the work of a High Chief in Malawi who has annulled all the marriages of young girls and is getting them back into education.
Since that time I have written a comprehensive six module course, talked to domestic abuse services, safeguarding teams, ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships, gentlemen who have been homeless, have been addicts and are now on the road to recovery.
In January 2017, having applied for and been granted Lottery funding as Break the Cycle Community Interest Company  we are running two courses in Havant for ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships and one course here on the Isle of Wight for ladies who have been in abusive relationships.

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It is definitely a start, and I will reach that one million target, maybe not next year, but it will happen.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

What I have learned from business coaches

Over the past past four years or so I have worked with several business coaches.  Each one is extremely successful in their field and each one has taught me something.  Interestingly, what I have learned from them is exactly the same.

Each of these coaches, entrepreneurs, business people, has come from a different background, and some have come from different continents.  They are all considered to be ‘gurus’ and are highly acclaimed.  I have no reason to doubt this or their abilities. They are all very nice people too, I have met with each of them, spent time with each of them and admire their work and tenacity.

I have attended their retreats, their seminars and listened to them all intently.  I have even qualified as one of their coaches.

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But, what have I learned from each and every one of them? I have learned they are very good at running their own businesses and creating their own wealth. I have learned that I don’t want to run my business in the ways they have been telling me to.

According to them each retreat, seminar, training, coaching session is a lead in to a more expensive programme or elite group.

I went down the route of offering free workshops and from these offering paid for coaching etc.  This didn’t sit well with me so I stopped doing these, even though I had great attendance and everyone enjoyed them and learned something.  And so did I.

This is not what I want to do.

So what do I want to do?

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I want to work with people to help them regain their self-esteem and confidence so they can lead their lives as their authentic selves, rather than live their lives as others want them to. I want to work with people who have hit rock bottom and are now wanting to move upwards in their lives. I want to work with people who want to re-build their self-worth.

I thought long and hard about this and decided what I needed to do. I have obtained a grant from the Lottery to work with women who have escaped abusive relationships.  I have written a course, Mind the Gap, which is made up of six modules. I have met with the Southern Domestic Abuse Service and met some of their ladies who have been through the amazing Freedom Programme but who are now looking to move forward in their lives. And I am going to be running the very first pilot programme in January 2017.  I have 30 ladies signed up, the venue is booked in Havant, the creche facilities organised.

This is so exciting and feels right to me.  There is no sign up to a more costly follow on course.  The Mind the Gap is free to the attendees, who are all very excited to be included.

A programme will be starting in January 2017 here on the Isle of Wight too for women who have escaped from domestic abuse.  I want to work with men too who have escaped from domestic abuse and that is a work in progress.

I have also obtained funding from Island Roads Foundation to work with the homeless people, and those who have been homeless, here on the Isle of Wight.  And that will be beginning in early 2017 too.

I shall be applying for more funding to be able to work with more people both on the Isle of Wight and on the mainland.

That is what I have learned.  I don’t want to work in the ways that they work.  I want to work in the way that I work.  And that is a huge lesson and doesn’t make them wrong, but makes me more able to sleep at night and to know I am really helping people.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

A different conversation

Working with the Three Principles and coaching my clients using these principles is a totally different conversation from when I first started training as a coach over a decade ago.

I remember there were ‘models’ to learn, such as GROW – Goal, Reality, Options, Willingness.  There were SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.  There were hierarchies such as ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’.  Techniques such as NLP – Neurolinguistic Programming.

There was a mountain of stuff to read and digest, coaching practices to study and learn, seemingly endless amounts of information to absorb.

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I love coaching and seeing my clients achieve so much, but I felt constricted by the numerous models, hierarchies, techniques which I was supposed to follow to ‘be a good coach’.  So mostly I didn’t use them, except in the very beginning.  I tend to listen to what my client is saying, and listen to what they are not saying, get an understanding of their world and begin from there, and the sessions are organic, the flow and are successful.

So then I had the opportunity of learning all about the Three Principles (Mind, Consciousness, Thought) with Jamie Smart on his Clarity programme.  There are no models to learn, there are no acronyms for goal setting to stick to, there are no techniques.  It sounds very simple doesn’t it?

And it is.  Our realities are created from the inside out.  Unlike goals which are set from the outside in.  The Three Principles paradigm is subtractive, there is nothing to add to it, but there is loads of stuff to take away from it.  For instance all those models, acronyms, techniques etc.

The moment you realise thought and feeling are inseperable, the 100% nature of the thought feeling connection, you insightfully see that you are living in the feeling of the principle of thought taking form in the moment, and you wake to to the fact that there is no world ‘out there’ wielding power over your feelings. Which means you can never be the victim of circumstance and your head clears, you start experiencing the pre-existing fact that you and your perceptual reality are one….that there is no separation between self and other, which leads to clarity, peace, love, connection, oneness, wholeness, security, joy, wisdom.

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So this is feeling so right for me, much more so than NLP ever did.  I am developing the grounding I need to feel comfortable in my own skin, my confidence has grown markedly as I share these principles which are having a profound effect on my clients and on myself.  There is something incredibly powerful about knowing that I am able to share something that is truly transformational.

I would like to share this with as many people as possible.  My vision is impacting the lives of one million people so they too can have transformational insights into their own lives.

If you are ready to experience a genuine transformation, I am here to serve you.

So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ If you want to replace a glass of stale wine with fresh wine, first you must pour out the old wine.  It is the same with clearing our minds of unwanted, stale thoughts.”

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk