Your Ideal Self and Life

Your self-concept is made up of various parts, each of which affects each of the others. Understanding these parts enables you to become nearer to your ideal self.  When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept, you can then control your destiny for the rest of your life.

The first part of the self-concept is your “self-ideal.”  Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality.  Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

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Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity.  Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them. Always remember, that you are innately authentic in the way you live your life.  Don’t do anything that is false, be true to your authentic self.

Successful people have very clear ideals for themselves.  Unsuccessful people have fuzzy ideals.  Successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives.  Unsuccessful people don’t give the subject very much thought.  One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviours are consistent with their idealised behaviours.

Part of your ideals are your goals.  As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallises.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

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Perhaps the most important thing for you to realise is that whatever anybody else has done or become, you can do or become as well.  Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you accept.

  • What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become?
  • How would you behave each day if you were already that person?

Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people.  If you don’t like what you see in your picture, change it.  There are no limits here – you are safe to change anything in your picture.  Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with your answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

Firstly, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life.  Remember your goals have to be achievable by you.  But step outside of your comfort zone, even by a couple of tiny steps, and see what a difference it makes. Allow yourself to imagine your wonderful life ahead.

Secondly, think about how you would act if you believed you were the outstanding person in your vision in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play.  You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Remember to remain true to your authentic self.  Practice all of the above.

If any of this resonates with you, please contact me and let me know your results. I love to hear all about your successes.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Get out of your own way

When you are facing obstacles that seem to be blocking you from achieving your goals, try not to get discouraged. It is so easy to feel “stuck” or that “life” is creating obstacles preventing you from getting what you want. It is also easy to look at everyone else for the problem, perhaps even wanting to “get rid” of that person we may feel is blocking us. Often the best course of action to take is to look inside ourselves first. Nobody else can make you feel stuck, or make you feel blocked.  You are responsible for your own feelings, and only you.

It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that is what we are doing. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results. You have heard the well known saying ‘If you want to get what you have always had, then keep doing what you have always done’.

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If you believe that you’ve been getting in your own way,  write down how you think you’ve done this. Write down the choices you’ve made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle with yourself during this process. Don’t blame yourself for getting in your own way.

When you are finished, tear up and throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you’ve created to block yourself. Start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you’ve decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can allow you to do just that.

If this resonates with you and you would like to have a conversation about this or any other subject, please get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Perception

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are affected by our perceptions – delight and despair come from within rather than from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious cause us no end of grief.

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Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

The Universe is often unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we make of it.

Take working in a job you dislike, what if you were able to think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

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To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. The wonder on their faces and the curiosity is amazing to watch.  You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your perspective, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Impacting lives

A year ago I verbalised that I intended to impact the lives of a million people and help them to become the authentic people that they are. Help them to rebuild their confidence in themselves and their abilities and become functioning human beings again. The functioning human beings they were before they forgot how to function.

I was inspired by both my daughter’s journey through leaving an abusive marriage, staying in a refuge and making a new life and home for herself and her children.  Plus I was inspired by the work of a High Chief in Malawi who has annulled all the marriages of young girls and is getting them back into education.
Since that time I have written a comprehensive six module course, talked to domestic abuse services, safeguarding teams, ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships, gentlemen who have been homeless, have been addicts and are now on the road to recovery.
In January 2017, having applied for and been granted Lottery funding as Break the Cycle Community Interest Company  we are running two courses in Havant for ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships and one course here on the Isle of Wight for ladies who have been in abusive relationships.

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It is definitely a start, and I will reach that one million target, maybe not next year, but it will happen.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Celebrating success

Have you ever noticed  how terrible we can be at acknowledging what we have achieved?  When congratulated on a success, we might hear ourselves say “oh it was nothing”.  On reaching a goal, we might skip the celebration because there is something else to strive for now.  When reviewing a half completed ‘to do’ list, we’ll bemoan what we didn’t do, rather than focus on how much we actually achieved.

Is this because we’re modest to the extreme, or do we simply not recognise just how much we do day to day, month to month, year to year?

I think it’s the latter.  We either don’t recognise how much we do, or we don’t see how important every step we’ve taken is.  We don’t see our progress as an achievement.

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As the frequently quoted saying goes “a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.  So if every step is progress, then in my book every step is an achievement.  What if we were to give ourselves more credit for everything we achieve?

Ticking things off a ‘to do’ list might not seem as celebration-worthy as representing your country in a chosen sport, but if it takes you closer to your own personal success then it’s a point scored in your own game!  So take that moment to acknowledge your progress.  When you reach a milestone, give yourself a reward.  And when you achieve what you were aiming for, seriously celebrate your success!

The energy gain from this change in perspective can be massive! I’m certainly more productive when operating from a mindset of ‘look how much closer I am to my objective and how much I’ve achieved!’ than if I were beating myself up about what I had left to do.  I’m sure you will be too.

Try this … Celebrate YOUR Success!

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What could you do to pat yourself on the back more often?  Here are a few ideas that many of my clients use:

Keep a Success Journal – try it for a week and see how good you feel!  Each time you do something well, write it down.  Each time you complete a task you’ve been putting off, write it down.  Each time you feel even one small step closer to your big objective, write it down!

I met a well known motivational speaker who does this every single day and having kept his success journals over the years, he now has a bookshelf full.  Imagine what he does on a bad day – cheers himself up pretty quickly I’d think!

Reward Yourself – what better pat on the back than giving yourself something you enjoy as a reward!

When something goes well, when you achieve what you wanted to, when you reach a milestone on your way to something bigger… celebrate your success with a treat.  It could be a nice meal, a night out, a small gift to yourself or the bliss of a day / half a day doing something you absolutely love.  What will it be?

Tell somebody – let them share it with you!  When something goes well, don’t keep quiet, shout it from the rooftops and enjoy the recognition.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success!

If you find this resonates with you, get in touch with me for a free conversation about your thoughts on your success or lack of success.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Your accomplishment diary

A great way to remind yourself how good you are is to keep an accomplishment diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to remind myself of my accomplishments and successes after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

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Buy yourself a beautiful notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to the following:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?
  • What am I happy about in my life right now?
  • Why am I happy about these things?
  • What did I accomplish last week?
  • What am I excited about in my life right now?
  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life?
  • Who do I like hanging around?
  • Why do I like hanging around with them?
  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means read your answers again, or even answer the questions again, whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. And you have a lot.

I would love to hear about your experience of writing in your accomplishment diary.

Maybe you need help to begin thinking more positively about yourself.  So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ When the mind is filled with positive thoughts, cause and effect rule, resulting in a positive feeling.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

You are great!

One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities. By looking at the list you will be able to say “Wow, I really am good!” It is a true reflection of your abilities.

Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you actually are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.

As a practical exercise list 5 people who you know and trust.  Make sure they are from different areas of your life.

List them: Here are a few suggestions

  • A family member
  • A friend
  • A work colleague
  • An associate
  • A social contact
  • An evening class member
  • A group member

You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback. Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.

Just go for it!

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So, how do you go about it? Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each person on your list.

I recommend that you explain the context of the exercise however you feel is best and then email them the questions so they can email their feedback to you.

  1. What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?
  2. What do you like most about me?
  3. What do you value most about me?
  4. What three words sum up the positive points about me?
  5. If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?

They will feel honoured that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence. Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence. By completing this exercise you will get a genuine insight into some of your strengths.

Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!

After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

  • How do you feel about it?
  • Are there any surprises?
  • Do you feel confident about your abilities?
  • How can you use this information going forward?
  • How can you maximise your strengths?

 

golden courage dust

Here is some golden courage dust to help you on your way with this exercise.

 

If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?

  • What are the key insights you have learned?
  • What will you do now differently from what you have done before?

I would love to hear about your experience of doing this exercise.

Maybe you need help to begin thinking more positively about yourself.  So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ Thought is the master key that opens the world of reality to all living creatures.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk