Making Conscious Decisions

Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular, it doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.  And  part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to determine exactly what is right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don’t always make the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, friends, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than drift along on the current of popular opinion.

happyladywithbook

It isn’t always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices different from the ones they are making or expect from you. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behaviour. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where gentleness, openness and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say we need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Changing Others

Our perception of people as a whole is, to a large extent, dualistic. We paint people with a broad brush – some are like us, sharing our opinions and our attitudes, while others are different. Our commitment to values we have chosen to embrace is often so strong that we easily convince ourselves that our way is the right way. We may find ourselves frustrated by those who view the world from a different angle and make use of unusual strategies when coping with life’s challenges. However ardently we believe that these people would be happier and more satisfied following our lead, we must resist the temptation to try to change them. Every human being has been blessed with an unique nature that cannot be altered by outside forces. We are who we are at any one point in our lives for a reason, and no one person can say for certain what another should be like.

sisters

The reasons we try to change one another are numerous. Since we have learned over time to flourish in the richness of lives we have built, we may believe that we are qualified to speak on behalf of the greater source. The sum total of our knowledge will never compare to what we do not know, however, and our understanding of others’ lives will forever be limited. The potential we see in the people who are a part of our lives will never be precisely the same as our own, so we are not helping individuals when we make assumptions about their intentions, preferences, and goals. Our power lies in our ability to accept others for all their quirks and differences and to let go of the need to control every element of our existence. We can love people for who they are and embrace their uniqueness.

Your ability to influence people may grow more sophisticated because others sense that you respect their right to be themselves, but you will likely spend more time gazing inward, into the one person you can change: yourself.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

You are stronger than you realise

Our capacity to cope successfully with life’s challenges far outstrips our capacity to feel nervousness.  Yet in the weeks, days and hours leading up to an event that we believe will test our limits, we become nervous.  While we have previously regarded ourselves as equal to the trials that lie ahead, we reach a point at which they near and our anxiety begins to mount. We then become increasingly worked up, until the moment of truth arrives and we discover that our worry was all for nothing.  We are almost always stronger and more capable that we believe ourselves to be.  But anxiety is not rational in nature, which means that in most cases we cannot work through it using logic as our only tool.  Reason can help us recognise the relative futility of unwarranted worry but, more often than not, we will find more comfort in patterns of thought and activity that re-direct our attention to practical or engaging matters.

 

donotfeedthefears

Most of us find it remarkably difficult to focus on two distinct thoughts or emotions at once, and we can use this natural human limitation to our advantage when trying to stay centred in the time leading up to a potentially tricky experience.  When we concentrate on something unrelated to our worry – such as deep breathing, visualisations, pleasurable pursuits or exercise – anxiety dissipates naturally.  Meditation is also a useful coping mechanism as it provides us with a means to ground ourselves in the moment.

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The intense emotional flare up you experience just before you are set to challenge yourself is often a mixture of both excitement and fear.  When you take steps to eliminate the fear, you can more fully enjoy the moment.  Though you may find it difficult to avoid getting worked up, your awareness of the forces acting on your feelings will help you return to your centre and accept that few hurdles you will face will be as high as they at first appear.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

What I offer is coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

How to have a stress free Christmas

We all know that Christmas can be stressful.  There is the usual invasion by the family, and extended family, the standing on ceremony all day, the extra expense as well as time and frustration trying to get the Christmas dinner on the table on time.

So much to do – presents to buy, cards to write, people to see, meals to cook, worrying about money.  Panic sets in.  Then there is the worry that there are not enough hours in the week.

Perhaps you perceive that you organise everything all on your own, without appreciation, and you also perceive there is a whole lot of expectation too from those around you.  That doesn’t sound like much fun to me.  And yet it is a scenario that is described over and over again.

Is it really the case though?  Do YOU have to organise everything? Are YOU expected to do it all? Is this something YOU think you ought to do?

If you think it is something you ought to do, think again.  There are no oughts allowed. We aren’t living in the nineteenth or even the twentieth century now, we are living in the twenty first century – it is time for YOU to start looking at what it is YOU want to happen at Christmas, when YOU want it to happen, who YOU want to celebrate with, who YOU don’t want to celebrate with, whether YOU want to celebrate it at all, whether YOU want to cook a roast dinner with all the trimmings or not, whether YOU want to go to a restaurant for Christmas dinner and so on.

christmasstress

Perhaps you wonder what others will think of you if you break with tradition.  Stop wondering, be true to yourself, if the traditions are still relevant to you then by all means carry on with them, but if they are not relevant then stop following them.

Ask yourself how much of your planning for Christmas is led by guilt.  Be honest and try to weed out unnecessary obligations to lessen your load.

For instance, is it the norm for your relatives to all come to your house for Christmas dinner?  Do they expect you to invite them? Do you do all the food shopping, all the cooking?

Is this what YOU and they really want?  Have you had ‘the conversation’ regarding who really wants to do what on Christmas day?  It really isn’t a difficult conversation to have.

For instance, I asked my mother a couple of years ago if she wanted to spend Christmas with me or with my brother as she usually divided her time between us.  She said she would rather go on a tinsel and turkey trip with her friend and that is what she did.  She had fun, I wasn’t obligated and I could do what I wanted which was have a quiet Christmas at home with my husband.

christmas-dining-table

I know someone who went every weekend for five years to his father’s for Sunday lunch.  He packed up his car with his children and his wife and took the ferry to the mainland because he perceived this is what was expected of him.  He was beginning to resent these trips, which took up most of the day, and resent his father.

I asked him if he had had ‘the conversation’ with his father about having Sunday lunch with him every week.  He said no, but that he would.  He came back to me a few weeks later and said that his father was hugely relieved as he was getting fed up cooking a roast dinner each week, sometimes he just wanted to sit down with a sandwich, a glass of beer and watch the rugby.  They agreed to have lunch together once a month.  He got most of his Sundays back and he could do more things with his wife and children.

So do the same thing about Christmas.  Ask your relatives if they actually want to come to you this Christmas.  Don’t be surprised if they are relieved that you have asked.  You will probably find that you will have an easier time, with far less stress, with just as much fun, but fun that you want to have and not fun that is manufactured out of guilt.

What do YOU want for your Christmas? How do YOU want to look on Christmas day, worn our and resentful, or relaxed and enjoying yourself?

Festive Woman in Red Santa Hat

Budget for what you can afford to spend and stick to it.  Try and spread the cost of present shopping over a longer period. Consider a simpler version of Christmas dinner such as a buffet where everyone you choose to invite brings a plate of food.  Consider whether you are prepared to tolerate family tensions over Christmas, if not make the decision to have ‘the conversation’ with everyone concerned.

Remember, be the result of your decisions not of circumstances.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Fast forward a year

Have some thoughts about how would you like to see yourself in a year’s time?  Do you see yourself exactly the same as you are now, or with some slight changes or perhaps with a whole new feel and look?

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

In a year’s time I see for me:

  • My relationship with myself looks pretty good at the moment. I treat myself with respect and gratitude and have learned that I don’t have to believe all the thoughts that come into my head.
  • My thoughts are generally positive but occasionally a negative thought will creep in. This is ok and normal.  I like to live in the moment, not in the past and I know nothing about the future yet.
  • My relationship with my husband is fantastic, we love and respect each other and make each other laugh. We are best friends, lovers, companions and so much more.
  • My relationship with my mother is good, we see each other fairly regularly, my father is no longer with us but is always in my heart and mind.
  • My relationship with two of my children is virtually non-existent (their choice which I respect) and with the third is very good.
  • My physical health is pretty good, I am slightly overweight and making an effort to change this and I currently feel great.
  • My finances are reasonably okay, but could of course be a lot better. Bank account is in the black.
  • My business world consists of coaching and teaching.  I love working with people to support them through life changes. I am self-employed and an entrepreneur. I am the business.
  • I am peaceful in my life, enjoying being who I am. I don’t meditate.
  • For fun I work at pop festivals and trade by offering Indian head massage to all the punters at the festivals.

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  • I take time for myself every day, even if it is only 5 minutes.

Take a few moments to think about your future.  Is there anything you would like to see differently? What are you prepared to do to bring about those changes?

Get in touch today and let me know how you see yourself in a year’s time.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Thought

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are created by our thoughts- delight and despair come from within and not from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious can cause us no end of grief.

Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

 

Life can seem to be unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we think of it.

Stressed Businesswoman

If you are working in a job you dislike, you can think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your thinking is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

happychildren

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your thoughts, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

When you start to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of observing life, your transformations will begin and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live.

  • Your mind works only one way
  • Your mind has a built-in design for success.
  • Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling the more deeply you realise the living truth of the first two points.

Please get in touch with me today for a free conversation so we can discuss the best way I can serve you. I will deliver the goods and help you get the results you want. It’s time to really invest in yourself.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

You are great!

One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities. By looking at the list you will be able to say “Wow, I really am good!” It is a true reflection of your abilities.

Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you actually are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.

As a practical exercise list 5 people who you know and trust.  Make sure they are from different areas of your life.

List them: Here are a few suggestions

  • A family member
  • A friend
  • A work colleague
  • An associate
  • A social contact
  • An evening class member
  • A group member

You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback. Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.

Just go for it!

email

So, how do you go about it? Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each person on your list.

I recommend that you explain the context of the exercise however you feel is best and then email them the questions so they can email their feedback to you.

  1. What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?
  2. What do you like most about me?
  3. What do you value most about me?
  4. What three words sum up the positive points about me?
  5. If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?

They will feel honoured that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence. Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence. By completing this exercise you will get a genuine insight into some of your strengths.

Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!

After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

  • How do you feel about it?
  • Are there any surprises?
  • Do you feel confident about your abilities?
  • How can you use this information going forward?
  • How can you maximise your strengths?

 

golden courage dust

Here is some golden courage dust to help you on your way with this exercise.

 

If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?

  • What are the key insights you have learned?
  • What will you do now differently from what you have done before?

I would love to hear about your experience of doing this exercise.

Maybe you need help to begin thinking more positively about yourself.  So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ Thought is the master key that opens the world of reality to all living creatures.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk