It’s all about you

I don’t know about you, but this is one of my favourite times.  A time when I take stock of the last year and where that got me and when I start to look at the year ahead and get excited about everything that I’m doing and aiming for in this year.

I’ve noticed that I’m not alone in this.  Lots of people that I’ve spoken to in the past couple of weeks have been experiencing a mix of the dynamic “Right! the New Year is approaching and I’m going to do something different that’s going to make my life so much better!” and the well-known “Oh, but I’m too (insert the applicable response) ……..tired, broke, cold, miserable” excuse for inactivity.  Do you recognise that in yourself or anybody around you?

poutinggirl

Well, we’re going to look at how you can beat the winter blues simply by making it all about you.  So I suggest that if there is somebody close to you that’s walking around feeling miserable… send this to them quickly!  For those that have already beaten the blues and are charging ahead with making their plans for the coming year – well done!  You can also use these tips to add more energy to your resolve.

With the many different roles that we undertake in our lives these days, we can so easily get caught up in playing each one and everything it entails that, for a time, we lose ourselves in the mix.  It can feel like we’re doing everything for other people and nothing for ourselves.  What we do on a daily basis can stop being about choice and start being purely about obligation.  This can be particularly highlighted over the festive season when we drag ourselves up to go to yet another gathering when deep down we’d really like to stay in bed for a lay-in and really wish we’d never agreed to go in the first place!  No wonder so many people feel burnt out by the time they reach the New Year.

Well when New Year gets here, and some of the demands have lessened, it will be a great time to step back and bring the focus back to you.  Not only is it the simplest way of beating winter blues, it’s a great way to give an extra energy boost to your New Year plans and get next year off to the best start.

So be really honest with yourself, how good are you at focusing on you? How often do you put yourself before anything or anybody else?

For many of us, as we continue to juggle our commitments, obligations and other people’s needs, it’s not often enough.  Perhaps we feel that it’s selfish to focus on ourselves when there are so many other people and jobs demanding our attention.  But are we getting it wrong?  Think about it for a moment.  How differently would you feel if you put yourself first more often?  If you were to do more of what you wanted to do?  Would you feel more tired, stressed, time-poor, lacklustre?  Or would you feel quite the opposite?

screaming

Our energy levels are directly related to how we feel.  If we do little for ourselves we feel fed up, over-stretched, put upon and we tend to have low energy levels.  With low energy levels we feel less inclined to do the things we know we need to do, let alone anything else on top.  We also work more slowly and so become time-poor. Whereas if we consciously put ourselves first and look after our own needs and wants, we feel happier, more fulfilled, lighter and our energy levels soar.  When we have more energy we’re more productive so we get more done in the same or less time, making it possible to fulfil our commitments as well as looking after ourselves.

Sometimes we get so caught up with the roles we undertake, the commitments we have and the people around us, that we forget that we have a choice.  Try choosing one thing just for you, do it and see how different you feel.  See also the amazing knock-on effect that has.

tips

Top 5 Tips for Putting Yourself First

  1.  Don’t say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’!  How often do you do this? How does it feel?  Not good?  When you’re asked to do something, give it some thought and give an answer that’s true to you.  You will feel so much better when you say yes only  when you mean it.
  2. Do something different.  If you feel tired or over-committed, the chances are you didn’t choose to feel that way.  By consciously breaking your routine (even if it’s only for one day) and doing something out of the ordinary, you have taken back your right  to choose.  Choose something that will give you a buzz and see what a difference it makes.
  3. Know what gives you energy.  Make yourself a list of all the things that put a big smile on your face and make you feel great.  Things that are focused on and all about you.  Then when you need a boost you have a ready-made list of pick-me-ups to choose from.
  4. Set aside time for you, and only you, regularly.   Whether it’s signing up to a series of classes, doing an activity you really enjoy or simply setting aside a couple of hours at a time to do exactly as you please, that may include doing absolutely nothing.  You don’t have to do it alone, just make sure that whatever it is, you are doing it for you.  Put it in the diary and stick to it!
  5. Have a plan.  If you know what you’re aiming for and you have a plan for how you’re going to get there… you will have all the motivation you need to drive you forward with the focus firmly on you.  Imagine the energy that will create!

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Grumps

When we’re in a good mood, we shine like the sun. But if we find ourselves in the presence of a person, or people, in a grumpy mood, it can feel like a dark cloud is trying to block our radiance and block our positive way of seeing the world. We can remind ourselves that clouds pass, while the sun and stars continue to shine above. Then it’s easier to think of these “grumps” affectionately, knowing that they only have the power to affect our mood if we allow them to. With the power of change firmly in our hands, we use our innate thinking, we can choose how to respond to a grumpy person, or a grumbling group of people, with confidence and understanding.

Like a lighthouse, we can continue to shine through the darkness, offering our light to help others find their way back to their own. We can send them a silent message of peace or a sympathetic smile. We may sense that reaching out to offer a comforting touch or hug can ease their frustrations and cause the clouds to dissipate. If they need understanding, we can sympathise without reinforcing the negativity they may be experiencing by directing their attention someplace more positive. Helping them find the humour in their situation might be appropriate and is a great way to lift spirits, or a logical approach may help them see all the good in the situation, in their lives and in the world.

20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

We might find that someone we meet often seems to be in a perpetual state of gloom. Our tendency in such cases may be to try to avoid them, but instead we can make the choice to offer support that comes from the heart. We may be inspired to ask if they would like some help or to offer suggestions that have helped us in the past. We can include them in our thoughts. When we lend our energy to uplift another in any way, we improve our own lives while making the world a better place for all of us.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our search for perfection.

It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing and learning, then to be imperfect is essential. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

judges

This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection might happen in a moment, but it won’t last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or trying to force it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a left over desire from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realise this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Outside your Comfort Zone

There are things we don’t want to do. Putting off what scares us and brings up fear only creates more obstacles in our lives.

Most of us have had the experience of tackling some dreaded task only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. The funny thing is, most of the time when we do them, we come out on the other side changed and often wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long. We may even begin to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel that same heady mix of excitement and completion.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

Whether we avoid something because it scares us or bores us, or because we think it will force a change we’re not ready for, putting it off only creates obstacles for us. On the other hand, facing the task at hand, no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn’t want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.

We all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fuelled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Family life and looking after YOU.

Many of us have a hard time balancing taking care of ourselves with taking care of our family responsibilities. For people with young children, this can be especially challenging, but even people without children may have obligations to care for extended family, partners, pets, and the home in which they live. It’s easy to lose track of our own needs as we give ourselves to the people, pets, and places we love. However, it is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer when we return home each day.

sisters

 

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a work surface that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don’t set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even if it is only half an hour to yourself each day. There are times when even that will not be possible—for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. Or take just ten minutes to read a few paragraphs of a book. This will help you to relax and rebuild your strength.  Make sure you spend at least ten minutes, preferably thirty minutes, on yourself during the day.  Or even have two or three ten minute breaks just for you.

 

wiseowl


Most of the time, though, it is possible to set aside a full hour for yourself each day. In addition, scheduling a longer interval of time, perhaps on a weekly basis, can really help to restore your energy. Get a massage or go to see a film or have an evening out with a friend. Taking time to experience the world outside of your home makes returning home all the more wonderful. In the same way, taking care of yourself is a natural complement to taking care of your home and family.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

What I offer is coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

This is me…… Your questions answered

How on earth do you manage to juggle working, writing, being a wife and a mother?

Having been a medical secretary for 20 years or so, I learned early on how to prioritise and I carried this into my home life.  I also learned to delegate too.  The grocery shopping is delivered which saves me several hours each week and leaves me the time I need to work and look after my husband.  All my children have left home and have children of their own, so they don’t need my constant attention.

What inspired you to write your books?

When I hit rock bottom about thirty years ago, I had very limited help or access to help, because there was none to be had.  I remember I had the flu, all the children had chicken pox and we were all sitting huddled in the living room of my tiny flat and I had just one 50p coin left for the meter.  I had no job, I perceived I had no prospects because I had been told for years that I was useless and nobody would want to employ me. I thought I have to change something because if I don’t I am not going to survive, and if I don’t survive my three small children won’t survive either.  I had to change the way I thought about myself.  So I changed one thought, ‘I do have prospects and I can get a job’.  My parents brought me more coins for the meter and when I was better I went out and got myself a job in a school kitchen cooking the dinners.  It kick started me back to a proper career and I wrote the books because I didn’t want anyone else to be in that position, and if it helps just one person I shall be so pleased.

3dbookcover

Where do you work? Do you have a regular pattern or routine or other?

I work for myself providing a virtual secretarial service globally.  There are some parts to the work that are regular, but mostly it is irregular.  Sometimes I can be working at 11 o’clock at night, and other days I am finished by lunchtime.  Additionally I am a highly qualified life coach also working globally and often I am coaching clients at 7am my time which could be 6pm their time, or I could be coaching at 5pm my time which is 9am their time.  As well as that I run a community interest company which helps people who have suffered domestic abuse.

I am a volunteer radio presenter for Vectis Radio and really enjoy this aspect of my life.

I love the flexibility of working from home and not having a boss.  So no there is no particular pattern or routine.

Who would you like/or do share a cup of coffee and a natter with?

I would love to sit down and have a natter with Oprah Winfrey.  She is such an inspirational woman who gives so much time to others and has come from a very poor background but has never forgotten her roots.  I have seen a couple of her chat shows but they don’t interest me, Oprah herself interests me. I would love to find out more about the real person behind the public persona.

I also love chatting with Carol Bridgestock who is an amazing woman who writes crime novels with her husband Bob, fund raises and is a champion of all people and an inspiration.

How do you relax?

I like to relax at home with a glass of wine and good dvd.  It could be a film or a series, I have just finished watching ‘Smash’ a series about writing and finding the right actors to play the parts in a musical about Marilyn Monroe.  I tend to watch the films and series I like on my own when my husband is out in the evenings on occasion.  And of course I read quite a lot too.

What do you have in your handbag right now?

I have a notebook and several pens, purse,  Kindle, diary, mobile phone, car keys, house keys, business cards and that’s about it.

What’s your favourite smell?

I love the smell of freshly baked bread , I also love the smell of basil, it always smells so fresh and clean.  New babies smell gorgeous too.  I don’t do very well with perfumes as I am allergic to them so everything I have is unperfumed.

What’s the best advice you’ve been given or best advice you’d give?

The best advice I have been given is to just be yourself.  And that is the best advice I give anyone.  You can’t be anyone else, so just be yourself and be the very best you that you can be.

Maggie 3-1

This is me – Maggie Currie

What’s your favourite book/Film as a child/adult?

My favourite book as a child was Winnie the Pooh and as an adult it has been Gormanghast.  Winnie the Pooh because there is so much positivity in it and Gormanghast because it was written by a man in the trenches on little scraps of paper and it is what kept him sane.  The descriptions are stunning and the story so imaginative.

What are you working on now?

I am working on presenting a 12 module course for people who have escaped from domestic abuse, bullying in the workplace, and indeed those people who want to escape.  I have run some pilot courses with great feedback and am now starting on the programme with two courses running at the moment, one in the day and one in the evening. In January a third course will start on the mainland. So a very busy time.  Working on getting funding is time consuming, but I have been very lucky to get funding from The Lottery, The Island Foundation and Wightaid, as well as support from On The Wight.

I have another project which is a summer house in my back garden.  It is actually a fold up caravan that is around 45-50 years old.  I bought it this year and it has seen better days.  But it is going to have new curtains to brighten it up. I am going to paint the inside a lovely cream colour (it is currently pink) and it has got some ‘new’ seats that came from a caravan someone was breaking. It is peaceful to sit in the garden in all weathers and be in nature. And of course, if I don’t like where it is, I can fold it up and move it.

If you won the lottery what would you spend it on?

I would donate some of the money to my favourite charity The Isle of Wight Donkey Sanctuary, some I would use to help fund a safe haven for people to get away from domestic abuse.  If it were millions I am not sure what I would with it to be honest. Maybe buy an island of my very own – who knows?

Who do you admire in the literary world? Who do you consider your mentor? (Again can be used in any field of work you do)

I admire anyone who can write a book or novel that holds my attention and makes me want to keep reading.  There are too many books out there that I can’t get past the first couple of pages and that is a shame because they may get better as they go on, but I don’t want to read any more.  As for mentors I have several, some of whom are writers, some are life coaches and some are friends.  They are located in Australia, USA and UK and I communicate with them weekly, sometimes daily via Facebook.  And of course my husband is my greatest mentor as he supports and encourages me in everything I do.

Testimonials – Due to confidentiality they have been anonymised

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.” SR, USA

I have made some significant changes to what I do and how I behave.  Change is always difficult but you just have to have confidence, back yourself and go for it don’t you!!  Your book was the first step I took to set me on the way for this latest, and final, journey.  I have picked up a few other things on the way and there is no turning back now!!’ TB, IoW

‘Maggie helped me to recognise that I was stagnating and I chose not to do that any longer. I have changed my life dramatically in just one year and now I am really enjoying my life and my new relationship.’ LR, Gloucester.

“Things are really good. There is very much a difference in my homelife now, very rarely do I even think about work, which is great. Even my daughter has noticed a difference. I don’t seem to get stressed like I used to. I really can’t thank you enough for your help!” VP, IOW.

“It was quite apparent my immediate need for her guidance and advice regarding publishing my book have been adequately and superbly catered for by Maggie.” RS, Portsmouth.

Maggie Currie has a heart as big as the Universe!! She gets people, all people, especially those who are feeling ‘less than’. Maggie helps them to feel ‘more than’ who they believed themselves to be. We need more Maggie’s in the world!'” MS, UK

“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!”— JL. Milton Keynes.

“Thanks for the notes and your time yesterday. The idea of getting help was a major breakthrough for me and I am laughing at myself and in total disbelief that I had to be led by you to that very obvious solution!!! I guess you must get that all the time though. Getting help will open up the possibilities of what I can achieve enormously and I actually woke up this morning raring to go instead of dreading the day’s work.”. KG, Surrey

“Maggie, your well placed questions and non-judgemental help in our coaching session really helped me to think more clearly about my situation. ” GL, Paris, France

“‘Oh, what a wonderful call I just had with Maggie, she has a way of coaxing out of me things and putting others in proper perspective. Feeling so much better, the little residual of melancholy about the fourth of July was gone by the end of the call. Great feeling letting it go. Now to get on with the rest of the day I am feeling very upbeat’.”
VB, USA

“‘I wasn’t sure what to do in my relationship, Maggie helped me understand that I was worrying about things that I imagined might happen and not living in the relationship. Once I got my head around that and stopped thinking about imaginary scenarios, things improved dramatically and my partner and other people noticed the positive difference in me'” LR, Australia

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.” –  DU, UK

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Fear of crowds

Fear of crowds is very common for a lot of people whether they are single, married, male, female, high flyers, students, teachers, old or young .

I know how it feels to be alone in a crowd. I often feel totally overwhelmed in a large crowd of people, especially if I don’t know anyone in that crowd. It can feel like I am on the periphery and not allowed into the inner circle, and that, of course, makes the fear even worse. I wonder if the fear is actually of the crowds themselves or is it a fear of feeling lost or being unnoticed amongst a large number of people?

I know when I am in a large crowd of people entirely ‘on my own’ I feel nervous; I have an irrational fear that nobody will even notice that I am there.  I look at the little groups of people who do know each other within that large crowd enjoying themselves and the company of each other and that somehow increases my nervousness and the fear.  Of course they may feel just like I do but when I feel that fear, it certainly looks like they’re having a great time and I’m not. When I am in a large crowd of people and I have my own ‘group of people’ with me I feel safe and secure and know that I am noticed and therefore I don’t have those same feelings as when I am alone in a crowd.

Business people communicating with each other against white

Did you grow up in a house where “children were seen and not heard”? I know I did. That might be the root of these feelings of nervousness and insecurity as they are for me. I can ultimately relate feeling like this to my childhood when I was constantly told that I should be seen and not heard.  So I would sit in the corner with my toys and only speak when I was spoken to.

Having worked hard on discovering my authentic self, discovering, acknowledging and accepting those unexpressed feelings and emotions of when I was told to be seen and not heard,  I now think and act differently.  I know there is a solution to this fear of crowds.  Based on what I know to be true about fear.  I know that FEAR is:

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

I have found the solution that works for me and this might work for you too:

  • Don’t worry about pleasing anyone else. Just be you.
  • Here’s what I do – I take three deep breaths and take the plunge.
  • I walk amongst the strangers in the crowd and I expect to be noticed. I’ve decided not to expect to be or feel lost.
  • I make eye contact with people and smile at them.
  • I say hello to people I have never met before and strike up conversations.  They aren’t always long conversations, just long enough to introduce myself and be friendly and to listen to the other people.  Sometimes they are much longer, it depends on the person of course. Once the conversations start to happen, other people start to talk to me and to each other and before long I am part of the ‘crowd’ and not isolated on the periphery.

Even if being you just says it’s ok to not talk to anyone – which is a good friend of mine’s solution for her fear of crowds.  She’s decided to not push herself and just enjoys watching people. Funny thing is, she reports people come and talk to her.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I know that I am not alone in feeling alone.  There are other people who are in the same position as me and I make a special effort to speak to them as well and include them in the conversations.  The energy and dynamics of the crowd change visibly and it becomes much more enjoyable.

The most important thing is to find a way to feel comfortable being you whether you decide overcoming the fear by talking to people is your way, or overcoming the fear by giving yourself a break and just allowing others to talk to you is your way. Bottom line, stop pressuring yourself to be like everyone else and just be you.

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk