Our decisions can be made by default, meaning they aren’t conscious decisions. Just because an idea or way of doing things is considered popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to determine what’s right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing, we follow the herd. There may be many other options available, but we don’t always find the time to explore them. This may be the result of feelings of overwhelm or we feel pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. It is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of what is considered popular opinion.
It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Some people may feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behaviour. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.
This is where tolerance, gentleness, and openness come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. We also have the right to say that we are tired of talking about it and simply need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.
If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.
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Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING