Can you enjoy Valentine’s Day as a single person – or away from your loved one?

There is so much emphasis on love and marriage leading up to Valentine’s Day and on the day itself.  There are adverts everywhere and shops are full of gifts, treats and cards all specifically for this occasion. But not everyone buys into this sentiment.  And there is no reason why everyone should.   So how can you survive and keep your sanity if you can’t or don’t want to buy into it? There are so many ways to make sure you enjoy yourself on your own.

You are probably feeling that you have nobody to rely on but yourself,  and on this ‘special day’ my suggestion is to turn the focus of your attention to you.  Buy yourself something special, something you will love.  Maybe treat yourself to a day pampering yourself with doing your nails, styling your hair, giving yourself a facial, or treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it at home.  You don’t have to cook it yourself, order it by phone and have it delivered to your door.  Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and just enjoy being you, the lovely you that you know you are.

Maybe you could get a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find and watch them and make fun of all those dreadful films.  Have a fun evening.

If you have children, maybe make the day special for them, as well as you.  Buy them some little gifts – maybe chocolate, stuffed toys, model cars etc.  You could make a present hunt with clues so they have fun trying to find the little gifts.  Whatever it is you choose, make sure it is fun. 

Another way to look at Valentine’s Day is to make some new resolutions, as most New Year’s resolutions were made 6 weeks ago. Make a Valentine’s Day resolution to love yourself, resolve to take some evening classes, resolve to go on that trip you have always promised yourself, make a start towards the dreams you know you want to achieve.  Resolve to try out new recipes. Resolve to date yourself, plan life around yourself and learn to love yourself again.  This will not only be fun and interesting but loving yourself is the basis of being the confident you.

In the short-term be prepared for personal questions from friends and co-workers about your plans for your  Valentine’s Day alone.  Have an answer even if it is ‘no comment’.

Don’t get dressed up as that invites questions. Avoid tv programmes filled with loves stories.

Remember it is just one day.  Shut your door, eat what you want, read a good book, watch your favourite film, do what is fun for you.  It will all be over in the morning.

If you would like, you could wait until February 15th and buy yourself a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half the price. Buy yourself some flowers at half price too.

Whatever you do, don’t sit at home being miserable and sorry for yourself because you don’t have a date for this silly day. If you do sit at home and feel sorry yourself don’t beat yourself up about it.  Remember, it is only one day, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in not participating in Valentine’s Day.  It is your prerogative, be true to YOU.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

How you see yourself

How you see yourself begins with a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your ‘self-ideal’ is a description of the person you would very much like to be, if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities.  Not only that, you constantly strive to behave consistently with them. Successful people are usually very clear about being excellent in every part of their lives. Unsuccessful people frequently have fuzzy ideals.  

When you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallises.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life. Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you create and accept. Be careful of the limits you set for yourself.  Are they in your best interest? Could you stretch those limits?  Do you have a vision of the very best person you could possibly become? How would you behave each day if you already were that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people? Make that picture as bright and colourful as you can.  Hear what you hear, see what you see, feel what you feel.  Make it brighter and step into that picture.  Add smells and textures if you can.  Really be the person you are envisioning.

There are more things you can do immediately to put your ideas into action. Dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals for yourself.  Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead. Step outside of your comfort zone.  Make sure the goals you set are achievable by you, or you will become very disappointed if you fail to achieve them. Think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person. You will immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Not only that, other people will notice too.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Our Community Responsibility

It’s easy to get caught up in our personal lives and forget that we have an obligation to be responsible members of our communities. For some of us, expressing this responsibility is so interwoven into our personal lives that it is simply a natural extension of who we are. Others may need to take a moment to consider how to be more responsible for the community in which they live.  For those who live in large cities, we can start with our own vicinity. Anything we do on a small level will automatically ripple out into the larger system.

Communities thrive on the talents of their members, so one approach to community responsibility is to consider what you have to offer and find ways to bring that into your community. If you have a special gift when it comes to bringing people together, you might agree to throw a party or event once a year that includes the whole community. Even a small open house in a small venue can accomplish a lot in terms of making people feel more connected and comfortable with each other. If you have a talent for organic gardening, you might offer to help people in your area plan their own organic gardens. You might be the go to person for neighbours who need someone to water their plants or care for their pets when they’re away. You might take an abandoned space in your community and galvanise others to help you transform it into a community garden or a playground for children. In an area where there are many homeless people, starting a soup kitchen or organising a Christmas meal makes a big difference not only to those in need but to those who want to help.

All events, picnics, and ceremonies started somewhere, with someone who wanted to give back to the community in which they lived. It’s not too late to propose and execute a new tradition in your own community, whether it’s a street party or an annual picnic. Your particular vision, gifts, and strengths are part of what makes your community unique, so as you recognise them in yourself, feel free to offer them to those who live in your vicinity. Whether your offerings are visionary or practical, they are the very essence of community.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Criticism

We all make mistakes from time to time, it is human nature.  As we go through life we can take the opportunity to learn from any mistakes and improve ourselves.  Being criticised for making a mistake or for someone’s perception of your actions is ok if it is constructive.  The other type of criticism is destructive and is usually done by somebody attacking your character.

Bear in mind that criticism aimed at you may not make any sense at the time. Generally speaking there is usually a bit of truth in criticism, even when it appears to be given out of spite and/or bitterness.  It may be the case that a slight on your character is a reflection of how another person sees you at that point in time.  Take a step back and try to see things from their point of view. Maybe ask a trusted friend or relative for their honest opinion.  Use criticism wisely and as a learning experience, whether it is constructive or destructive.

Also remember that people who criticise a lot and make remarks to be hurtful are the ones that need the help, not you.  Criticism is an easy form of ego defence.  Critical people tend to be easily insulted and especially in need of ego defence.  Some people use criticism as a form of bullying to make you feel inferior and boost their opinion of themselves.

Anybody can criticise, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding of people’s motives and to be forgiving of their actions.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Having consideration for others

Every action we take and every thought we think has an impact on the world around us. To be aware of this is to be conscious of our impact on all the people in our lives. Sometimes we just want to do what we want to do, but considering the full effects of our actions can be an important part of our growth and awareness. At first, being more conscious will need some effort, but once we have made it a habit, it will become second nature. The more we practice this awareness of others, the more we find ourselves in easy alignment with our integrity.

Our thoughts are an important place to begin this practice because our thoughts are the seeds of our actions. It is not necessary to obsessively monitor all our thoughts, but we can choose one thought or action per day and simply notice if we are in alignment with this experience of integrity. For example, we may find ourselves replaying a negative encounter with someone in our minds. We may think that this doesn’t affect the person about whom we are thinking, but the laws of energy tell us that it does. When we hold someone negatively in our minds, we risk trapping them in negativity. If we were this person, we might wish for forgiveness and release. We can offer this by simply letting go of the negative thought and replacing it with a wish for healing on that person’s behalf.

With regard to our actions, we may have something difficult to express to someone. Taking the time to consider how we would feel if we were in his or her shoes will enable us to communicate more sensitively than we would if we just expressed ourselves from our own perspective. When we change our approach by taking someone else’s feelings into account, we bring benefit to that person and ourselves equally. The more we do this, the more we reaffirm our integrity and the integrity of our relationship to the world around us.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Experiencing a breakdown

Most of us have, at one time or another had the experience of holding back our emotions for such a long time, for whatever reason,  that when these emotions finally come out, we have something resembling a breakdown. For a while, the overwhelming flood of feelings coursing through our bodies consumes us, and we stop functioning. Often, these outbursts take us by surprise, welling up within us as we drive to or from work, watch a movie, or engage in some otherwise mundane task. We might feel like we don’t know what triggered us, or if we do know, it does not make any sense of our overpowering emotional response. This is because we are releasing feelings that have accumulated over a long time, and whatever inspired the release was just a catalyst for a much larger, much needed catharsis.

When we find ourselves in the middle of such an experience, it is important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down. Wherever we are, we can try to find a private, safe place in which to let our feelings out. If we can’t find such a place immediately, we can promise to set aside some time for ourselves at our earliest possible convenience, perhaps taking a day off work. The important thing is that we need to give our emotional system some much-needed attention. It is essential that we allow ourselves to release the pent-up emotions inside ourselves so that they do not create imbalances in our bodies and minds.

When you are feeling better, and you will, make a plan to find a way to process your emotions more regularly. You can do this by employing a coach or a therapist or making a regular date to talk to a trusted friend. Journaling can also be a great way to acknowledge and release your emotions, as can certain forms of meditation. Making room in your life for tending your emotions on a regular basis will keep you healthy, balanced, and ready for life.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Beneath the noise

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

You may have noticed that when you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise adds to the chaos and generally only hurts your throat, and still you are not heard.  Similarly, that small voice within each of us doesn’t try to compete with the constant mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. When we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath all that surrounding noise.

color closeup picture of redhead lady ear

It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalised from childhood or from our culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the centre of our being, and their urgency is what grabs our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence.  Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away.

We often find that our own communications in the world will be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and self-confidence.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Enjoying the outdoors

Dining outdoors is a tradition that spans many cultures and has withstood the test of time. A picnic eaten under open sky in the company of loved ones is an occasion in its own right. The very character of picnics, by virtue of their bringing together so much that is pleasing to humanity, makes them a wonderful way to unwind from stress, reconnect with people and nature, and create new memories. There is something magical about picnicking. A blanket, a basket, and a landscape pleasing to the eye intensify the deliciousness of food and help us see the beauty of lazy afternoons spent in nature.

Thoughts of picnics enjoyed in the past bring to mind images as varied as we are because the experience of dining outdoors with pleasant companions can unfold in a myriad of ways. We tend to picnic at the park or on the beach out of necessity, enjoying nourishment in the open air to prolong playtime. But botanical gardens, nature reserves, and our own gardens can also offer wonderful picnicking venues. Similarly, we associate quintessential summertime foods with picnics, though almost any category of cuisine can be enjoyed picnic style. Refreshing, light foods such as freshly sliced fruit and crisp salads are particularly invigorating on hot summer days. Anticipation of and preparing the food can be just as exciting as the picnic itself. Provisions are only one component of a picnic, however. Games of cards, rounders, cricket, or other simple, traditional pastimes can provide a secondary focus that expands the scope of your outing beyond foodstuffs. Connecting with nature during your picnic can be an easy way to fit in a meditation; whether you lay down under a tree to watch squirrels play or sit by a stream to take in the sounds of trickling water. Remember, too, that if it should happen that your well-planned picnic is disrupted by inclement weather, the pleasures of good company and good food are rendered no less enjoyable when savoured on a blanket spread indoors.

Though a solitary picnic can be a treat, picnicking is an activity best shared with the people you care for. Spending time outdoors with others to eat and to play and to be merry will revitalise you, reminding you that life’s most sacred pleasures are often the simplest.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Don’t die with your music still in you

The title is a paraphrase of the Emerson quote about how “Most men die with their music still in them.”

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I doing what I came here to do?
  • Am I, at least in part, ‘playing my special music’?

If you answered yes to the questions, or are at least pursuing them, then I congratulate you. If your answer is no –  what you are waiting for?!

woman holding mirror against her head in the middle of forest

Photo by Tasha Kamrowski on Pexels.com

We are all special in this world.  Each of us has some special contribution to make to the world.  Perhaps it’s to write a book.  Perhaps your special gift is in being a great teacher or coach. It could be you are the next person to discover a cure for a major disease, or to start a business and be the best you can be at what you do. Are you a builder who is passionate about your work?  Do you dream of being a great parent, artist, or baker?  Whatever the passion is within you, let it out.  Life is too fragile and uncertain to postpone your dreams, hoping that someday, you will really begin to live your life.  Begin now!  Whatever it is you are passionate about, you can begin it now.  What are you waiting for?

When I lived in Basingstoke, Hampshire, my next door neighbour Maureen was really looking forward to her retirement.  She had planned everything she was going to do with her life once she could stop work and concentrate on herself. There were so many things she hadn’t yet done and when she had the time after her retirement she was going to do them all. Six months before her 60th birthday Maureen was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died before she even got to be 60.  She never did get to retire or do all the many things that she had planned to do when she retired. It saddens me to see someone who is near the end their life, never having taken a step to realise their dream.  It saddens me that anyone should leave this earth with their music still in them. You owe it to yourself to let it out!

Imagine in your mind a mirror.  Look into that mirror and see yourself as you are today.  Now  I want you to imagine yourself at the age of 80, see those sparkling eyes looking back at you.  I want you then to turn round and look back through the years of your life and note all the things you have achieved up to the age of 80.  How many things have you achieved? Wouldn’t it be sad if you were to look back at 80 and say to yourself ‘I haven’t achieved anything in all my years’.  Don’t wait , begin now.  What are you waiting for? Don’t die with your music still in you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Saying Yes, Saying No

If you were to hover above your daily life and view all the things that make it up, at what you do with each minute of your 24 hours, each and every day, at all the people and things that are part of it.  How much of it would you feel you had actually chosen ?

The truth is you chose all of it, on some level or another.  And even if there are some things you don’t feel like you chose, you certainly chose to allow them to continue. So, if you have all this choice, how come you reach a point from time to time where life seems incredibly cluttered and pressured?  Maybe you have lost sight of what you’re saying yes to and no to…and why you are saying yes or no.

photo of person s hand with words

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

If you’ve ever listened to yourself say yes when you really wanted to say no, you’ll know how bad that feels.  For some people, each day is like that.  So what does that leave them with?  Lots of what they don’t want filling their time and little or no time for what they do want to fill their time! My guess is that we all have been in this situation to a greater or lesser extent.  Perhaps we have over-committed ourselves to work or other areas, tried to fit too much into our time, attempted to do lots of things at once, finding ourselves doing things that don’t energise us and perhaps, in some cases, draining us.  So what do we do about it?  Have a spring-clean!

The secret to spring-cleaning your life is in the use of those simple words ‘yes’ and ‘no’.  Are there situations, people or commitments in your life that you regularly say yes to, that you’d love to be able to say no to?  How much time could you free up by saying no to things that don’t give you anything and that you don’t enjoy?  What could you do with that time instead? By consciously looking at what we don’t want to be doing with our time, we can clear out the clutter and make space for a better quality of life.  We open up our time for the things we enjoy, clearing the way for new opportunities to have fun and to grow. How refreshing will that be!

What will YOU say yes and no to?  If this has struck a chord with you, take action now and answer these questions one at a time, making notes as a reminder:

  • What do you currently spend your time on that you’d like to be able to say no to?
  • By saying no to those things, what will that free up your time for?
  • If you were to put yourself first, what commitments, situations and people would you say no to?
  • What will you say yes to instead?

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk