March 28, 2014 by Maggie Currie

How to experience ‘Happiness’

Do you really know what will it take to make you happy? Think about it and see if you can discover what it will take for you to be happy?

Will being in a relationship, or with the right boyfriend/girlfriend make you happy?
Will being married make you happy?
Will having a million pounds make you happy?
Will being successful make you happy?
Will having better health make you happy?
Will getting a new job make you happy?
Will having a great career make you happy?

If you think the answer is yes to any or all of the above questions, you’ll never find happiness!

Surprised? Well don’t be. The truth is nothing can ‘make you happy’. Happiness is something you feel, not something you can find.

Being happy doesn’t depend on a particular outcome or something happening to you. There isn’t somewhere you can go and find happiness sitting there waiting for you.

Advertising of all sorts is designed to make you think that a new car, a particular skin cream, a new outfit, some new shoes, a drink or a new diet will make you happy, but that is simply not true. Nothing can make you happy because happiness is a feeling. Happiness is something you experience.

If you want to be happy, then be happy. Most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what they perceive is wrong with their life.

Think about it, you can’t be happy doing something that you don’t like. If you don’t believe me try it. Try doing something you despise and see if you can be happy at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be happy doing something you don’t enjoy!

You also can’t do something you really enjoy and be sad or angry. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what happens. Go and try doing something you really enjoy and see if you’re angry or miserable at the same time. That really won’t happen.

Unfortunately, people believe they can be happy when they achieve a particular goal and make the mistake of chasing that goal in order to be happy. It’s really not achieving the goal that makes them happy. It’s the feeling of achieving the goal that provides another feeling, satisfaction perhaps, that is mistaken for happiness.

This mistake is quite common, because it’s not security or peace of mind that makes you happy. You experience happiness when you do what you enjoy and when you focus on the positive things taking place in your life. If you’re not doing that then you can never be happy. Don’t think that you can be happy just by having something.

You can experience happiness by achieving your particular goal, by doing what you enjoy, having fun while achieving your goals and choose the right goals for you, the kind that allow you to be happy all the time. Focus on what you want.

Start doing the things that you enjoy. Look at the positive things that are going on in your life. Direct your mind and subconscious mind to help you experience happiness every day. This will start once you begin to appreciate the good things in your life.

Okay so how can you begin to be happy? It’s really quite simple, all you have to do is shift your focus.

Instead of looking at all that is wrong with your life, instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself or your life; constantly criticising; change your focus. Start appreciating all that is good in your life. Envisage your life in the future.

Make a list if you want and write out all of the positive things in your life. Usually someone will say: “Maggie, I can’t think of anything positive or good in my life. I just want to be happy.” That’s only because they are not seeing all the positive things in your life. And so you’ll never be happy.

Every day there are wonderful things taking place in your life, yet you fail to observe and recognise them. You tend to take them for granted. This can be anything – a hot meal, a wonderful spouse, family, a beautiful flower, lambs playing in a field – If you have a roof over your head, that’s a positive aspect of your life.

Start looking at all of the great and terrific things that are going on in your life and you’ll begin to experience happiness on a deeper level. You can begin to improve or change the areas that you are not happy with but at the same time you should acknowledge the good things that are going on in your life.

Your mind is used to only paying attention to what is going wrong and in the process it directs the subconscious mind to continue creating more of those things that are going wrong. You actually create more of what makes you unhappy.

Why?

Because your subconscious creates what you regularly think about. So if you don’t regularly focus on the positive things you won’t create positive situations in your life.

And here’s where it gets worse. When you constantly focus on what is wrong with your life, when you only think about and see what is wrong in your life, your subconscious begins to create more of what is wrong or more of what you don’t want because it thinks that you want more. It responds to your focus.

Now you know why it can be so difficult for some people to truly experience happiness, it’s because they’re used to focusing on the negative aspects of life and in the end continue to create more of what they don’t want.

In order to change all of this you have to begin training the mind and re-directing the subconscious mind to begin creating what you want in life and to focus on the good things that are taking place in your life.

Begin experiencing happiness by changing your focus. Everyday think of the positive things that are going on in your life. Make a list of all the wonderful things that are taking place in your life.

Think of at least 3 great things that happened to you they can be small or large – but just appreciate 3 good things that happened during the day. Do this every day for a month and you will see your list grow. Focus on the positive. Direct your mind and subconscious mind by changing your perspective so you experience happiness everyday

Too often I hear from people who simply want to be happy but when I ask them what they do for fun they say: “Nothing.” No wonder you’re not happy. How can you be happy if you’re never having fun in life?

If you want to experience happiness then start doing things that you enjoy. You may like gardening; you may like hang gliding, you may like riding your bike, you may enjoy going for long walks, you may enjoy acting like a 5-year old – whatever it is start doing it and see how great you feel.

But there is one catch when you’re doing what you enjoy, you can only focus on that and not think about anything else that may be bothering you. That’s the only way you’ll truly enjoy the activity and begin to experience happiness.

As adults we get bogged down with the everyday tasks that force us to be serious. We have jobs where we’re serious, bills to pay, food to prepare, children to look after, it’s all too serious and it is necessary. I’m not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities – but take some time just to have some fun.

Now you can’t just have fun once a week or once a month. You have to do this every day. That means every day you have to find something fun to do, and only then will you get comfortable and used to the process to the point where you regularly experience happiness. Once you start doing this you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll wonder why you never did this to begin with.

If you don’t feel you have the time to have fun and enjoy your life then you’re really saying that your happiness is not important enough. Only when you decide to be happy will you truly begin to experience happiness. You can work with the techniques I’ve outlined – they will help you get started. But you will need to train your mind and subconscious mind to begin seeing and living in a different way.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you on your road to happiness.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am coaching people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

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March 26, 2014 by Maggie Currie

How to Develop a Positive Self Image in Negative Situations – Guest Blog by Lanre Solarin

It’s very easy to be overwhelmed by our problems, especially when we feel no one else is going through the same thing.

So we separate ourselves, and then either suffer in silence or bask in self pity. We tell every Tom, Dick and Harry about what we’re going through so that we’ll receive a response like, “Oh, I’m so sorry for you. It’ll be alright, okay?”

That’s one classic statement that most of us love when we’re in negative situations. But guess what?

It gets you nowhere.

Why? Because negativity doesn’t add a tint of positivity to any situation, no matter how much you “hope”.

Self pity is not a positive thinking exercise that helps you solve problems. It only allows people to sympathize with you, without giving you any actionable solutions. But unfortunately, it’s the therapy that many of us take when we suddenly end up in a bad debt or with a terrible relationship.

It gives us such a negative self image that we stop seeing the problem as something that will pass.

We begin to see that problem as if it belongs to us. This is real identity crisis. And when it gets to this stage, it means that our beliefs have been adversely affected and our image disrupted.

But there’s hope. Negative situations don’t always have to lead to negative personalities. We don’t always have to react to bad things as though the world is coming to an end.

All you need to do is learn to see yourself in the positive light. You need to learn to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel and then walk through it. Here are 3 ways to develop a positive self image even in the most negative of situations.

1. Refuse to Pity Yourself by Hating the Problem

Self pity keeps you stagnant and doesn’t drive you to try and solve the problem. On the other hand, taking action by seeking for advice gets you going from the problem spot. When I discovered that I had been plagued by inferiority complex for the first 17 years of my life, I had two choices: to feel sorry for the timidity I felt or to kick it to the curb.

The only way you can seek for a solution is to hate the problem you’re in, but not yourself. Instead, you need to love yourself so much that you wouldn’t want to associate yourself with that problem for a long time.

No matter how terrible the situation may be, you can push yourself to become a solution seeker rather than a problem carrier. To do this, ask yourself just one simple question, “Is this how miserable I want to be for the rest of my life?” If you answer “Yes” to that question, then stop reading. But if it’s a huge “NO”, watch how you’ll start to hate the problem you’re in.

2. Seek For a Solution by Being Aggressive

There are two types of aggressiveness: the misdirected one caused by the frustration of not achieving your unrealistic goals and the positive one which serves as a drive for success. The first type of aggressiveness is the reason why many people end up in self pity in the first place. The only way to seek for a solution to that problem you’re in is to make aggression your drive.

You must be ready to take “no” for an answer and not stop till you get what you want. You’ll need to start telling your sympathizers to stop being sorry for you and start giving you advice on how to get rid of the problem. You’ll need to make it clear to everyone that you’re not a victim of circumstance and that you won’t be in that mess forever.

To really do this, you’ll need to stop seeing yourself as someone who deserves to be pitied. Change your perception of yourself from that of a loser with no hope to that of a winner who can have everything working fine. Change your thinking from, “I can’t do this”, to “I can do this”.

3. Experience Gradual Success by Breaking up the Problem

Some problems are so huge and tough that it seems almost impossible to get out of them. But the good thing is that it’s never totally impossible. So what happens when you’re in a huge mess and you’re beginning to feel doubtful as to whether you’ll solve it or not? What you need to do is break it up.

The fact that you’re human means you have the ability to solve any problem you find yourself in. But to make things easier on yourself, you’ll need to start seeing the problem, not as just one huge mountain, but as a combination of rocks. Every problem can be taken apart piece by piece.

Assess that problem and determine the different things you need to do to get it solved. Divide it into steps and then make the accomplishment of each step a goal. As you complete each step and achieve each goal, let that be your drive to achieving the next one. This will help you to expect success at each step.

Being positive in the midst of negativity is not an easy task, but it’s a possible one. And it all starts from you making up your mind to become positive and then stay positive all through, regardless of how bad things may turn out.

The first step is always to make the decision to change. But after that what happens? You then manage that decision by following the three steps above. Refuse self pity to the extent that you start to hate the problem. This will help you aggressively seek out a solution and when you finally get one, approach it gradually.

By doing this, you’ll feel much better about yourself all the way and you’ll discover that nothing is too big that it cannot be solved. Even if the problem is so tough that you can’t chew on it, lick it instead :).

Lanre Solarin was once extremely negative about life until he encountered positive experiences that changed everything. You can grab a free copy of his report- Simple Steps to Positive Thinking to discover simple ways to Experience Positivity and change your life.

March 24, 2014 by Maggie Currie

How do you know when you are in need of coaching?

I know there are a lot of people who think that they are ‘fine’ and certainly have no need of coaching of any sort. They are mistaken in their belief that there is nothing anyone else can do to help them, that there is nobody else out there in the entire world who is in, or has been in, the same or similar situations as them. They continue to plod on through life without help, without looking for answers to their questions and still believing that there is nothing they or anyone else can do to change their current situations.

I know differently. I have been on both sides of that argument, and I know exactly what I am talking about. I have been there, I have resisted being coached. I thought I was fine and, because I am a coach, didn’t need any coaching. How wrong was I? Very, very wrong.

I have also been in a place where I didn’t even know coaching existed, when I was going through divorce and had no perception of a way out of despair and misery. I had no idea at that time that there were coaches out there who could help me. Had I known that help was available for me from a coach I would have been first in the queue. It would have saved me a huge amount of heartache and anguish.

Since discovering coaching and training to be a coach, learning NLP techniques and how to coach with some of the top people in the country, I have been coaching for ten years and successfully changed the lives of so many people, as well as my own. And I love every single minute of it.

But, and this is a big BUT, I resisted being coached myself because my ego kept telling me that I was okay, I was ‘fine’.

I have taken a good look at me, and my ego has been booted into the’ back of beyond’. I have hired my own coach, and I love being coached as much as I love coaching and watching people change and grow.Working with your own coach is so rewarding in a myriad of ways.

Maggie Currie

I learn something new every time I am coaching and being coached. I believe learning is vital since we are very unlikely to ever know everything.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you.

Maggie Currie