Attitude Follows Perspective

Shifting our mood.

We all have days when we are faced with chores, errands or responsibilities that we don’t want to do.  At times like these it is easy to get into a bad mood and stay in one as we tackled these tasks.  However, given the fact that our bad mood will not change the fact that we have to do these things, and will most likely make things worse, we could also try to shift our attitude.  Many wise people have pointed out that it is not so much what we do as it is is how we do it that makes the difference in our lives. 

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It is important when we are facing something that is really hard for us, whether is doing tax returns, paying bills or visiting a challenging relative, that we lovingly support ourselves through the process.  The more supported we feel, the easier it is to open our minds to the idea that we could change our way of looking at the situation.  In truth, most of the chores we don’t like doing are intimately intertwined with our blessings.  When we remember this, we feel gratitude which makes it hard to stay in a dark mood.

We can shift our attitude by considering how much we love our home as we clean it and how lucky we are to have a roof over our head.  Any task can be transformed from a burden to a necessary aspect of caring for something we love.  All we have to do is shift our perspective, and our attitude follows shortly behind. 

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you.  

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Family life and looking after YOU.

Many of us have a hard time balancing taking care of ourselves with taking care of our family responsibilities. For people with young children, this can be especially challenging, but even people without children may have obligations to care for extended family, partners, pets, and the home in which they live. It’s easy to lose track of our own needs as we give ourselves to the people, pets, and places we love. However, it is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer when we return home each day.

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It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a work surface that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don’t set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even if it is only half an hour to yourself each day. There are times when even that will not be possible—for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. Or take just ten minutes to read a few paragraphs of a book. This will help you to relax and rebuild your strength.  Make sure you spend at least ten minutes, preferably thirty minutes, on yourself during the day.  Or even have two or three ten minute breaks just for you.

 

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Most of the time, though, it is possible to set aside a full hour for yourself each day. In addition, scheduling a longer interval of time, perhaps on a weekly basis, can really help to restore your energy. Get a massage or go to see a film or have an evening out with a friend. Taking time to experience the world outside of your home makes returning home all the more wonderful. In the same way, taking care of yourself is a natural complement to taking care of your home and family.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

What I offer is coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Are you enjoying the most important relationship in your life?

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from the moment of conception onward – this relationship can often be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places so much emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling in us the belief that you should set aside your own needs for the those of others.  But, until you know yourself, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

Dealing with emotional abuse

It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We have the freedom to support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom comes the opportunity to pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

It may be that we need to learn to create spaces to be alone within our relationships. But if we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we then open ourselves up to forge new paths and discover uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to explore more fully our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Friends come and go

 I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many and varied reasons I suspect, but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.   I have learned so much about myself over the past few years that I was unaware of before. For instance I didn’t realise until recently that I have stuffed emotions and feelings down for years because I was conditioned growing up not to show emotion or share feelings.

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close.  I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody.  Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people I really like and keep others at arms length.  Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away. The fact that other people think differently from me is perfectly okay.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way. My life is so much richer for having my friends in it.

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I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

Do you have friends in your life that you are grateful for? Have you had friends move away for one reason or another? Is your life richer for having your friends in it?

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

How to have a stress free Christmas

We all know that Christmas can be stressful.  There is the usual invasion by the family, and extended family, the standing on ceremony all day, the extra expense as well as time and frustration trying to get the Christmas dinner on the table on time.

So much to do – presents to buy, cards to write, people to see, meals to cook, worrying about money.  Panic sets in.  Then there is the worry that there are not enough hours in the week.

Perhaps you perceive that you organise everything all on your own, without appreciation, and you also perceive there is a whole lot of expectation too from those around you.  That doesn’t sound like much fun to me.  And yet it is a scenario that is described over and over again.

Is it really the case though?  Do YOU have to organise everything? Are YOU expected to do it all? Is this something YOU think you ought to do?

If you think it is something you ought to do, think again.  There are no oughts allowed. We aren’t living in the nineteenth or even the twentieth century now, we are living in the twenty first century – it is time for YOU to start looking at what it is YOU want to happen at Christmas, when YOU want it to happen, who YOU want to celebrate with, who YOU don’t want to celebrate with, whether YOU want to celebrate it at all, whether YOU want to cook a roast dinner with all the trimmings or not, whether YOU want to go to a restaurant for Christmas dinner and so on.

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Perhaps you wonder what others will think of you if you break with tradition.  Stop wondering, be true to yourself, if the traditions are still relevant to you then by all means carry on with them, but if they are not relevant then stop following them.

Ask yourself how much of your planning for Christmas is led by guilt.  Be honest and try to weed out unnecessary obligations to lessen your load.

For instance, is it the norm for your relatives to all come to your house for Christmas dinner?  Do they expect you to invite them? Do you do all the food shopping, all the cooking?

Is this what YOU and they really want?  Have you had ‘the conversation’ regarding who really wants to do what on Christmas day?  It really isn’t a difficult conversation to have.

For instance, I asked my mother a couple of years ago if she wanted to spend Christmas with me or with my brother as she usually divided her time between us.  She said she would rather go on a tinsel and turkey trip with her friend and that is what she did.  She had fun, I wasn’t obligated and I could do what I wanted which was have a quiet Christmas at home with my husband.

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I know someone who went every weekend for five years to his father’s for Sunday lunch.  He packed up his car with his children and his wife and took the ferry to the mainland because he perceived this is what was expected of him.  He was beginning to resent these trips, which took up most of the day, and resent his father.

I asked him if he had had ‘the conversation’ with his father about having Sunday lunch with him every week.  He said no, but that he would.  He came back to me a few weeks later and said that his father was hugely relieved as he was getting fed up cooking a roast dinner each week, sometimes he just wanted to sit down with a sandwich, a glass of beer and watch the rugby.  They agreed to have lunch together once a month.  He got most of his Sundays back and he could do more things with his wife and children.

So do the same thing about Christmas.  Ask your relatives if they actually want to come to you this Christmas.  Don’t be surprised if they are relieved that you have asked.  You will probably find that you will have an easier time, with far less stress, with just as much fun, but fun that you want to have and not fun that is manufactured out of guilt.

What do YOU want for your Christmas? How do YOU want to look on Christmas day, worn our and resentful, or relaxed and enjoying yourself?

Festive Woman in Red Santa Hat

Budget for what you can afford to spend and stick to it.  Try and spread the cost of present shopping over a longer period. Consider a simpler version of Christmas dinner such as a buffet where everyone you choose to invite brings a plate of food.  Consider whether you are prepared to tolerate family tensions over Christmas, if not make the decision to have ‘the conversation’ with everyone concerned.

Remember, be the result of your decisions not of circumstances.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Can you enjoy Valentine’s Day as a single person?

There is so much emphasis on love and marriage leading up to Valentine’s Day and on the day itself.  There are adverts everywhere and shops are full of gifts, treats and cards all specifically for this occasion.

But not everyone buys into this sentiment.  And there is no reason why everyone should.  So how can you survive and keep your sanity if you can’t or don’t want to buy into it?

There are so many ways to make sure you enjoy yourself whether on your own, in a group or with a good friend.

You are probably feeling that you have nobody to rely on but yourself,  and on this ‘special day’ my suggestion is to turn the focus of your attention to you.  Buy yourself something special, something you will love.  Maybe treat yourself to a day being pampered at the spa, or treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it at home.  You don’t have to cook it yourself, order it by phone and have it delivered to your door.  Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and just enjoy being you, the lovely you that you know you are.

Cork Shot Out From a Bottle of Champagne

 

Maybe you could get a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find and invite some of your girlfriends over to watch them with you and make fun of all those dreadful films.  Have a fun evening with people you love and be yourself.   Have fun with people you love to be with.

If you have children, maybe make the day special for them, as well as you.  Buy them some little gifts – maybe chocolate, stuffed toys, model cars etc.  You could make a present hunt with clues so they have fun trying to find the little gifts.  Perhaps a trip to the theatre or the cinema. Whatever it is you choos, make sure it is fun.

Another way to look at Valentine’s Day is to make some new resolutions, as most New Year’s resolutions were made 6 weeks ago. Make a Valentine’s Day resolution to love yourself, resolve to take some evening classes, resolve to go on that trip you have always promised yourself, make a start towards the dreams you know you want to achieve.  Resolve to try new restaurants or to try out new recipes.

Resolve to date yourself, plan life around yourself and learn to love yourself again.  This will not only be fun and interesting but loving yourself is the basis of being the confident you.

In the short-term be prepared for personal questions from friends and co-workers about your plans for your  Valentine’s Day alone.  Have an answer even if it is ‘no comment’.

  • Don’t get dressed up as that invites questions.
  • Don’t find a stranger to spend the evening with, you will regret it in the morning and make the next Valentine’s Day even harder to get through.
  • Remember it is just one day.  Shut your door, eat what you want, read a good book, watch your favourite film, do what is fun for you.  It will all be over in the morning.

If you would like, you could wait until February 15th and buy yourself a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half the price. Buy yourself some flowers at half price too.

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Whatever you do, don’t sit at home being miserable and sorry for yourself because you don’t have a date for this silly day.

If you do sit at home and feel sorry yourself don’t beat yourself up about it.  Remember, it is only one day, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in not participating in Valentine’s Day.  It is your prerogative, be true to YOU.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Be a surfer – riding the incoming waves of information

In this modern world, the 21st century,  we are living in an information age. It is very easy to become overwhelmed by the constant influx of scientific studies, breaking news, and even spiritual revelations that fill our bookshelves, radio waves, Internet pages and in-boxes.

No sooner have we made a decision on what to eat or how to think about the universe than a new report, video or book comes out confounding our well-researched opinion.

After a while, we may very well be tempted to dismiss or ignore new information in the interest of stabilising our point of view or preventing overloading our brains, and this is understandable.

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Rather than closing down and ignoring what could be vital information, we might try instead to remain open by allowing our intuition to guide us.

For example, there is a plethora of contradictory studies concerning foods that are allegedly good for you and foods that are allegedly bad for you. At a certain point, though, we can feel for ourselves whether, for example, coffee or tomatoes are good for us or not.

The answer is, of course, different for each individual, and this is something that a scientific study can’t quite account for. All we can do is take in the information and process it through our own systems of understanding.

In the end, only we can decide what information, ideas, and concepts we will integrate. Remaining open give us the option to change and shift by checking in with ourselves as we learn new information. It keeps us flexible and alert, and while it can feel a bit like being thrown off balance all the time, this openness is essential to the process of growth and expansion.

intuition

I think the key is realising that we are not going to finally get to some stable place of having it all figured out. After all, we are always learning. Throughout our lives we will go through the processes of opening to new information, integrating it, and stabilising our worldview. Our intuition is vital for this process. As soon as we have reached some kind of stability, it will be time to open again to new information, which is inherently destabilising.

Maybe, if we see ourselves as surfers riding the incoming waves of information and inspiration, always open and willing to attune ourselves to the next shift, we will see how lucky we are to have this opportunity to play on the waves and, most of all, to enjoy the ride whilst we are learning.

If any of this resonates with you, and you would like some help understanding how your intuition works, get in touch with me and we can have a free 15 minute chat.

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
 
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
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Find out more about me and my ‘Why’ on my website