Enjoying the outdoors

Dining outdoors is a tradition that spans many cultures and has withstood the test of time. A picnic eaten under open sky in the company of loved ones is an occasion in its own right. The very character of picnics, by virtue of their bringing together so much that is pleasing to humanity, makes them a wonderful way to unwind from stress, reconnect with people and nature, and create new memories. There is something magical about picnicking. A blanket, a basket, and a landscape pleasing to the eye intensify the deliciousness of food and help us see the beauty of lazy afternoons spent in nature.

Thoughts of picnics enjoyed in the past bring to mind images as varied as we are because the experience of dining outdoors with pleasant companions can unfold in a myriad of ways. We tend to picnic at the park or on the beach out of necessity, enjoying nourishment in the open air to prolong playtime. But botanical gardens, nature reserves, and our own gardens can also offer wonderful picnicking venues. Similarly, we associate quintessential summertime foods with picnics, though almost any category of cuisine can be enjoyed picnic style. Refreshing, light foods such as freshly sliced fruit and crisp salads are particularly invigorating on hot summer days. Anticipation of and preparing the food can be just as exciting as the picnic itself. Provisions are only one component of a picnic, however. Games of cards, rounders, cricket, or other simple, traditional pastimes can provide a secondary focus that expands the scope of your outing beyond foodstuffs. Connecting with nature during your picnic can be an easy way to fit in a meditation; whether you lay down under a tree to watch squirrels play or sit by a stream to take in the sounds of trickling water. Remember, too, that if it should happen that your well-planned picnic is disrupted by inclement weather, the pleasures of good company and good food are rendered no less enjoyable when savoured on a blanket spread indoors.

Though a solitary picnic can be a treat, picnicking is an activity best shared with the people you care for. Spending time outdoors with others to eat and to play and to be merry will revitalise you, reminding you that life’s most sacred pleasures are often the simplest.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Coming back to centre in a relationship

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that coming together and moving apart is all part of the journey.  Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are vital to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the relationship begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter equally, such as work, family, and friendships. This is both natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and care as in earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will take care of themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express belief, love and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Being alone

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from conception onward – this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling beliefs that you should set aside your own needs for the needs of others.

Until you know yourself, however, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

happy young woman sitting on floor in studio with closed eyes

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It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We can now support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

When we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we often find that there are times where being alone nourishes us while we find other times in which a partnership is best for our growth.  We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory.

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognisable roles or not.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship -the one with our true selves.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Don’t die with your music still in you

The title is a paraphrase of the Emerson quote about how “Most men die with their music still in them.”

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I doing what I came here to do?
  • Am I, at least in part, ‘playing my special music’?

If you answered yes to the questions, or are at least pursuing them, then I congratulate you. If your answer is no –  what you are waiting for?!

woman holding mirror against her head in the middle of forest

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We are all special in this world.  Each of us has some special contribution to make to the world.  Perhaps it’s to write a book.  Perhaps your special gift is in being a great teacher or coach. It could be you are the next person to discover a cure for a major disease, or to start a business and be the best you can be at what you do. Are you a builder who is passionate about your work?  Do you dream of being a great parent, artist, or baker?  Whatever the passion is within you, let it out.  Life is too fragile and uncertain to postpone your dreams, hoping that someday, you will really begin to live your life.  Begin now!  Whatever it is you are passionate about, you can begin it now.  What are you waiting for?

When I lived in Basingstoke, Hampshire, my next door neighbour Maureen was really looking forward to her retirement.  She had planned everything she was going to do with her life once she could stop work and concentrate on herself. There were so many things she hadn’t yet done and when she had the time after her retirement she was going to do them all. Six months before her 60th birthday Maureen was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died before she even got to be 60.  She never did get to retire or do all the many things that she had planned to do when she retired. It saddens me to see someone who is near the end their life, never having taken a step to realise their dream.  It saddens me that anyone should leave this earth with their music still in them. You owe it to yourself to let it out!

Imagine in your mind a mirror.  Look into that mirror and see yourself as you are today.  Now  I want you to imagine yourself at the age of 80, see those sparkling eyes looking back at you.  I want you then to turn round and look back through the years of your life and note all the things you have achieved up to the age of 80.  How many things have you achieved? Wouldn’t it be sad if you were to look back at 80 and say to yourself ‘I haven’t achieved anything in all my years’.  Don’t wait , begin now.  What are you waiting for? Don’t die with your music still in you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?  Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

sunset beach people sunrise

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We also know of those people who could moan for England! They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

  1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.
  2.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as previously mentioned above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Reasons or excuses?

There are many people who say they want to change their habits or behaviours for many reasons.  Maybe these habits or behaviours are no longer beneficial to them. Maybe they are preventing them from following their dreams.

That is what coaching is all about, helping you to change the habits and behaviours that are no longer working well for you.

time for change sign with led light

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BUT, here are just some of the reasons I have been given for not wanting to begin the change process:

  • It will be difficult
  • It’s going to be risky
  • It will take long time
  • There will be a family drama
  • I don’t deserve it
  • It’s not in my nature
  • I can’t afford it
  • No one will help me
  • It has never happened before
  • I’m not strong enough
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m too old (or not old enough)
  • The rules won’t let me
  • It’s too big
  • I don’t have the energy
  • It’s my personal history
  • I’m too busy
  • I’m too scared
  • What will other people think?

Those are not reasons, they are excuses. How do you know it will be difficult or risky? You do deserve it, you are strong and smart enough, you are never too old to change, what other people think is none of your business.

The bottom line is do you want to improve your life in some way or not?  It is your choice.  If you do then you need to get out of your own way, take the plunge and begin the change process.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

How to conquer our fear of failure

Our fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words  “I can’t”.  We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

black and white fence crime forbidden

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As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  This is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has been replaced as the parent and is perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but “I have to,” and “I have to,” but “I can’t.”

We can beat these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  Acting with courage in a fearful situation is a technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and they lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

Firstly, we need to realise and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever we feel afraid.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are, think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is the way we learn how to succeed.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Fear can block our creativity

That sounds daft I know but take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story.  Imagine yourself telling the story to someone you love and who loves you.  You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight, the feedback, even without words,  is positive.  Now, imagine telling that same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable.  The wonderful descriptions, the fine points and colourful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves.  Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will most likely feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down.  When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

young couple in casual clothes enjoying coffee and chatting

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Being aware of this is a positive as we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. Being in the flow is something that happens, not created.  It happens because we are so enthralled and wrapped up in what we are doing, that time flies by and before we know it a whole day has gone by.  Achieving being in the flow is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel uneasy and fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a creative and powerful antidote. Ensure you have everything you need to be creative. Have your right pens, paper, equipment ready.  Make sure you have a drink nearby, and something to snack on.  Play your favourite music if it helps.  Think about what creates the perfect space for you to be in the flow, and then let it happen naturally.  You cannot force it.  Flow will happen when your setting is right, when you are not fearful or being judged and you feel safe and warm.  Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

A short getaway

We often think of a holiday as something that requires an enormous amount of preparation, but small daylong excursions can be just as refreshing and fulfilling as a week away.  A short drive can transport you in the countryside or into a world of novel experiences and blissful relaxation. A day trip can be a wonderful way to unwind from the stresses of a routine existence. And when you choose to share your day trip with someone you care about, a leisurely drive becomes a chance to talk about childhood, recall favourite songs, or simply spend time enjoying the company.

van parked beside the road near handrail and ocean

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Living here on the Isle of Wight you won’t be surprised to see how many day-trip possibilities exist within a mere hour’s time from your home. Forests, beaches,  rivers, parks, coastal viewpoints can serve as the perfect spot for a mini holiday. The physical and mental rejuvenation you experience in an unfamiliar and engaging setting are enhanced by just being still with nature. Though the cost of fuel can make taking a day trip seem frivolous, and our commitment to environmental well-being may cause us to hesitate before utilising our cars in this manner, there are numerous ways we can effectively offset our carbon signature while still seeing to the needs of ourselves on a soul level.

Since day trips tend to require much smaller investments of time and money than traditional outings, you can enjoy a diverse range of experiences day by day. On one day, you may be motivated by a need to connect with your natural heritage to explore a park or nature reserve. On another, your curiosity can inspire you to visit an historical site that has long piqued your interest. In the end, where you go will often be less important than your willingness to broaden your horizons by removing yourself from the environment already so familiar to you. Each mini getaway you take will imbue your existence with a sensation of renewal that prepares you for whatever lies ahead.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The pros and cons of partaking of live-streaming modules of learning, in my experience.

Several years ago I undertook a year long course in a particular aspect of coaching. This involved several weekends in the year attending a physical two day learning session in London or I could stay at home and live-stream the event.  The costs for the physical course or live streaming were very similar.  I opted mostly for the physical attendance, but the very last weekend I opted for the live-streaming.  I have to say it was extremely good, it was almost as if you were in the room and I, and the other live-streamers, was included in the discussions, the break out sessions were well managed with little groups of people able to chat with each other and see each other from all over the world. It worked very well indeed.

laptop beside peach color wall

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A year or so later I wanted to attend another course, this time with different facilitators.  There were to be several physical weekends or live-streaming.  I plumped for the live-streaming as I had such a good experience the last time.  The costs of the course were similar to attending in person. What a mistake! This time basically there was a camera set up to video the main speakers. The camera did not move. The rest of the physical audience could not be seen. There was no interaction with the speakers or audience.  The break out sessions were laughable with half of the people asleep, gone for a tea break or not interested in talking.  At the end of the learning for the day the facilitators had to be reminded that there were still people live-streaming.  They admitted they had forgotten about them.  I didn’t attend any further sessions with them and gained a refund.

Beware of what is being offered to you.  Ask what you are getting, how you are getting it, if you will be involved.  Get good value for your money as these events are not cheap.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk