Friends – or are they?

It has taken me a long time, but I have eventually realised that not everyone who claims to be my friend actually is.  I tend to look at friendship from my own perspective which is to be there for someone when they need it, help when required, loyalty and compassion.

I have listened to my intuition and have learned that there are some people who take advantage of my perspective on friendship and initially offer help, or a very reasonably priced seminar, a ‘not for profit’ retreat, only to then try to upsell even more ‘help’, which would be followed by more upselling.

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For instance, I was invited to go along to a two day conference where there would be a number of speakers who would inform me about loads of things I wanted to know about.  Such as how they worked, who they worked with, the results they achieved and so on.  The cost was minimal, and the ‘proceeds’ were going to be donated to a hospital for sick children.  So I went.  I met some lovely people there who were also attending this conference.

The conference itself started very well with one speaker who was very interesting, told us all about what he does and the results he gets, demonstrated some of his techniques and gave everyone a free copy of his latest book.  From then on it went downhill rapidly.  Every speaker after that told the audience nothing about what they do, but did offer ‘limited’ spaces on their upcoming courses priced in the hundreds of pounds.  And they all used the same message ‘run to the back of the room to sign up now or you will miss out, there are only 10 places and they are filling fast’.

By the time the second day came around and the first two speakers were using the same tactics, I had decided not to stay any longer and left for home.  I had learned that conferences such as these are just a means to upsell products at vast prices.

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I have met several ‘coaches’, entrepreneurs and performers who do the same things.  They offer you retreats, seminars, workshops for little or no cost and then try to upsell more courses, retreats, workshops costing many hundreds of pounds.  They are not my friends, they are not there to help me, they are there to make money – that is all they want to do, make money.  They claim they are interested in empowering women to be powerful, or they want to turn me into a hard headed business woman.  They told me I must hold free workshops and upsell to people.

It doesn’t feel right to me to do this type of thing.  I am up front with the cost of my coaching.  I tell my prospective clients how much the coaching will cost them, as they are using both my time and my expertise, and that is it.  There is no upselling, they discover very soon that I am there to help them to get the results they want.

So, I am not going to fall for these sales tricks any longer from supposed friends.  When I offer a retreat it is specifically for the purpose of providing the time and space for people to be coached and to find the answers they are looking for.  There isn’t another product to sell at a higher price.  Of course, if they would like to continue coaching with me that is their choice, it is not the aim of the retreat to gain more business.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

I had zero confidence when I was young

When I was young I had zero confidence. Looking back on all that I’ve accomplished so far it seems hard to imagine that I once had such a lack of self esteem and belief in myself I was reluctant to go to parties, to meet new people or to speak unless I was spoken to. I was told as a child that children should be seen and not heard. Because I heard it so often, I believed it.

I recognise that we are all still vulnerable and confidence issues are always lurking no matter our age or successes. My clients and I have had extensive conversations around this topic because it is a repetitive theme we encounter when working with both men and women.

So I want to share some great tips to help you kick-start the rebuilding your confidence in yourself.

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Confidence comes from really meaning what you say and then following through. When you decide to do something, think about what you are promising yourself or others. If you can only manage 10 minutes of exercise, do 10 minutes. If you are going for a shiny new job, create a game plan you can stick to. If you want to improve your education, work out exactly how and when you are acting on it. Doing what you say you will do builds confidence not only within yourself, but also in others. If you can’t keep your word to yourself, how will others trust you to keep your word? Remember that the word confidence comes from the Latin word meaning “to trust fully.” You must only commit to that which you can really follow through on.

Confront head on the things you are afraid or anxious about. There are times when your course of action may be to avoid. Do this regularly and your confidence disappears because you are choosing to let fear rule your mind. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do something every day that scares you.” Exercise your confidence muscle every day by doing something that is just a tiny bit scary for you and watch your confidence begin to shift and soar.

We ALL have that little voice in our heads that tells us we’re not good enough, that others are better than us, or that we don’t deserve success. No matter how many times we tell that voice to shut up, it can be very draining to our confidence. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who are there to support you when you’re not feeling confident. The more cheerleaders you have in your life, the better you’ll feel about yourself.

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Remember past positive experiences. When you think of positive things, you generate and magnify positive emotions, while at the same time beat back negative ones. Start each day thinking of an experience you had in which you felt strong, positive emotions and feelings of confidence. Close your eyes and visualise as clearly as you can in great detail, as if it were happening again. The better and more often you do this, the more you will improve your daily confidence. Please remember that while this strategy can work well, if you always find yourself in the same type of situations feeling a lack of confidence, it’s a sign you’re not addressing the root of your confidence issues. And addressing the root is the most important thing to do in your personal development.

It’s time to drop the façade, be vulnerable and share your most real self with the people around you – family, friends, and colleagues – and let them see all of you. The strong you, the frightened you, the self-assured you, the funny you, and the you that is hidden from everyone because of your lack of confidence in “their” reactions. Have and show your emotions fully – from sadness and happiness to fear and joy. When you keep the full range of your true self hidden from others, no one can know who you really are, and that undermines your confidence. While it may feel scary to be vulnerable, you’ll find that the more you show the real you, the more others will be willing to share their authentic selves too. And the amazing gift is the confidence you will achieve when you realise that people actually like and prefer the real you, the confident you.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Get out of your own way

When you are facing obstacles that you perceive to be blocking you from achieving your goals, try not to get discouraged. It is so easy to feel “stuck” or that “life” is creating obstacles preventing you from getting what you want. It is also easy to look to everyone else for the problem, perhaps even wanting to “get rid” of that person we may feel is blocking us. Often the best course of action to take is to look inside ourselves first.

It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that is what we are doing. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results. Everything we do is a choice that we make, whether we realise it or not.

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If you believe that you’ve been getting in your own way, you write down how you’ve done this. Write down the choices you’ve made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle with yourself during this process. Don’t blame yourself for getting in your own way. When you are finished, throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you’ve created to block yourself. Start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you’ve decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can allow you to do just that.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk