Being alone

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from conception onward – this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling beliefs that you should set aside your own needs for the needs of others.

Until you know yourself, however, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

happy young woman sitting on floor in studio with closed eyes

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It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We can now support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

When we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we often find that there are times where being alone nourishes us while we find other times in which a partnership is best for our growth.  We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory.

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognisable roles or not.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship -the one with our true selves.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Reasons or excuses?

There are many people who say they want to change their habits or behaviours for many reasons.  Maybe these habits or behaviours are no longer beneficial to them. Maybe they are preventing them from following their dreams.

That is what coaching is all about, helping you to change the habits and behaviours that are no longer working well for you.

time for change sign with led light

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BUT, here are just some of the reasons I have been given for not wanting to begin the change process:

  • It will be difficult
  • It’s going to be risky
  • It will take long time
  • There will be a family drama
  • I don’t deserve it
  • It’s not in my nature
  • I can’t afford it
  • No one will help me
  • It has never happened before
  • I’m not strong enough
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m too old (or not old enough)
  • The rules won’t let me
  • It’s too big
  • I don’t have the energy
  • It’s my personal history
  • I’m too busy
  • I’m too scared
  • What will other people think?

Those are not reasons, they are excuses. How do you know it will be difficult or risky? You do deserve it, you are strong and smart enough, you are never too old to change, what other people think is none of your business.

The bottom line is do you want to improve your life in some way or not?  It is your choice.  If you do then you need to get out of your own way, take the plunge and begin the change process.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The pros and cons of partaking of live-streaming modules of learning, in my experience.

Several years ago I undertook a year long course in a particular aspect of coaching. This involved several weekends in the year attending a physical two day learning session in London or I could stay at home and live-stream the event.  The costs for the physical course or live streaming were very similar.  I opted mostly for the physical attendance, but the very last weekend I opted for the live-streaming.  I have to say it was extremely good, it was almost as if you were in the room and I, and the other live-streamers, was included in the discussions, the break out sessions were well managed with little groups of people able to chat with each other and see each other from all over the world. It worked very well indeed.

laptop beside peach color wall

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A year or so later I wanted to attend another course, this time with different facilitators.  There were to be several physical weekends or live-streaming.  I plumped for the live-streaming as I had such a good experience the last time.  The costs of the course were similar to attending in person. What a mistake! This time basically there was a camera set up to video the main speakers. The camera did not move. The rest of the physical audience could not be seen. There was no interaction with the speakers or audience.  The break out sessions were laughable with half of the people asleep, gone for a tea break or not interested in talking.  At the end of the learning for the day the facilitators had to be reminded that there were still people live-streaming.  They admitted they had forgotten about them.  I didn’t attend any further sessions with them and gained a refund.

Beware of what is being offered to you.  Ask what you are getting, how you are getting it, if you will be involved.  Get good value for your money as these events are not cheap.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

Your Ideal Self and Life

Your self-concept is made up of various parts, each of which affects each of the others. Understanding these three parts enables you to become nearer to your ideal self.  When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept, you can then control your destiny for the rest of your life.

The first part of the self-concept is your “self-ideal.”  Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality.  Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

reach for the and blue moon neon signages

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Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity.  Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them.

Successful people have very clear ideals for themselves.  Unsuccessful people have fuzzy ideals.  Successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives.  Unsuccessful people don’t give the subject very much thought.  One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviours are consistent with their idealized behaviours.

Part of your ideals are your goals.  As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallizes.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

Perhaps the most important thing for you to realise is that whatever anybody else has done or become, you can do or become as well.  Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you accept.

What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become?  How would you behave each day if you were already that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people.  Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with the answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action. Firstly, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life.  Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead.

Secondly, think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play.  You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.

Keep practicing.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

There are people out there who want to take advantage and have come up with ‘new training’ to cope with the future after lockdown. This new training is ‘free’, but there is a catch.  They will announce half way through that at the very end ‘there will be a huge announcement, with a limited time offer, it will cost you many hundreds of pounds, even though they say they are offering you a huge discount, and you won’t want to miss out!’

The reality is the offer is not limited, that is just to get you thinking you have to act now.  You won’t miss out if you don’t buy into it.  You will save hundreds of pounds by not signing up.

man wearing pink polo shirt with text overlay

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We don’t know what the future holds. We don’t know what the future will look like. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, let alone in a few weeks or a few months.

Don’t be tempted to improve your education, gain A Levels, a degree or anything else in these uncertain times. During lockdown, which is strange in itself, it is best to look after yourself first.

There are many ‘coaches’ out there who will try and sell you their latest programme which is allegedly for your benefit. Generally they are not for your benefit, they are for their benefit and to fill their bank accounts.

There are ‘coaches’ and/or ‘trainers’ out there who are actors, hypnotists, marketeers and many other professions who are very good at hooking people in to their very expensive programmes. Don’t be tempted please. Listen to your innate thinking and not your ego.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

We don’t always see the bigger picture

Often we find ourselves wondering what our lives are going to look like or what gifts or challenges are going to be presented to us in the coming months or years. We may want to know if the relationship we’re in now will last or if our goals will be realised. Perhaps we feel like we need help making a decision and we want to know which choice will work out best. Some may consult psychics, tarot cards, their dreams, and other sources in the hopes of finding out what the future holds. Usually, at most, we may catch glimpses. And even though we think we would like to know the whole story in all its details, the truth is that we would probably be overwhelmed and exhausted if we knew everything that is going to happen to us.

analysis blackboard board bubble

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Just think of your life as you’ve lived it up until this point. If you are like most of us, you have probably done more and faced more than you could have ever imagined. If someone had told you as a child of all the jobs and relationships you would experience, along with each one’s inherent ups and downs, you would have become overwhelmed. With your head full of information about the future, you may well have had a very hard time experiencing your life in the present moment, which is where everything actually happens.

Probably not knowing what the future has in store brings out in us the qualities we need to grow. For example, it would have been difficult to commit yourself to certain people or projects if you knew they wouldn’t ultimately work out. Yet, it was through your commitment to see them through that you experienced the lessons you needed to grow. Looking back on your life, you would likely be hard pressed to say that anything in your past should not have happened. In fact, your most challenging experiences with their inevitable lessons may have ultimately brought you the greatest rewards. Not knowing the future keeps us just where we need to be–fully committed and in the present moment.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Is fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

man in pink dress shirt

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That’s what’s making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.

Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

I don’t think so.

FEAR =

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.   Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

Honouring Life Changes

Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers, the current lock down, all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

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Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to let us know that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, our innate wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honour our fear, recognising its arrival, listening to its innate intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by Writing down whatever comes up in your diary. These could be your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes, and is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

The wisdom of surrender

Many of us know the feeling of being repeatedly haunted by the same issue, no matter how we try to ignore it, avoid it, or run away from it. Sometimes it seems that we can get rid of something we don’t want by simply pushing it away. But Most of the time, the more we push away, the more we get pushed back. There are laws of physics and metaphysics that explain this phenomenon, which is often summed up in this phrase: That which you resist persists.

monochrome photo of resist signage

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Resistance can strengthen the energies it attempts to oppose by giving them power and energy to work against. And of course resistance keeps us from learning more about what we resist. In order to fully understand something, we must open to it enough to receive its energy; otherwise, we remain ignorant of its lessons. There is a Tibetan story of a monk who retreats to meditate in a cave only to be plagued by demons. He tries everything—chasing, fighting, hiding—to get the demons out of his cave, but the thing that finally works is surrender. He simply lets them have their way with him and only then do they disappear.

Now, this wisdom must be applied practically. We are not meant to get ourselves physically injured. Instead, this story speaks of how, in essence, our demons are inside of us. What plagues and pursues us on an inner level has a way of manifesting itself in our environment in the form of people, events, and issues that appear to be beyond our control. But all these external expressions are reflections of our insides, and it is inside ourselves that we can safely experiment with surrendering to what we fear and dislike. It may feel scary, and we may find ourselves in the company of a lot of resistance as we begin the process of opening to what we fear. But the more we learn to surrender, and the more the demons that plague us disappear in the process, the more courageous we will become.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.u

Having It Easy

In our lives we are often facing challenges. We dream the grandest of dreams as young people only to discover that we must have enormous inner strength and determination in order to meet our goals. Our hard work does not always yield the results we expect though.  And it is when we find ourselves frustrated by the trials we face or we seem to be  unable to meet our own expectations that we are most likely to take notice of those individuals who appear to accomplish great feats effortlessly. Some people’s lives seem to magically fall into place. We can see the blessings they have received, the ease with which they have attained their desires, their unwavering confidence, and their wealth. But, we can never see the story of their lives as a whole, therefore it is important that we don’t pass judgement or becoming envious.

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In general we glimpse only the outer hull of others’ life experiences, so it’s tempting to believe that the abundance they enjoy is the result of luck rather than diligent effort.  This may be the case in a small number of people so our assumptions may mirror reality. But very few people “have it easy.” We all must overcome difficulties and each of us has been granted a distinctive set of talents with which to do so. Someone who is highly gifted may nonetheless have to practice industriously and correct themselves repeatedly so they can cultivate their talents. Their myriad of accomplishments are more likely than not the result of ongoing hard work and sacrifice. You, no doubt, have natural abilities that you have nurtured and your gifts may be the very reason you strive as tirelessly as you do. Yet others see only the outcome of your efforts and not the efforts themselves

The universe is constantly testing our intellects, our hearts, and our souls. Life will create new challenges for you to face each time you prove yourself capable of overcoming the challenges of the past. What you think is difficult will always differ from that which others think is difficult. The tests you will be given will be as unique as you are. If you focus on doing the best you can and making use of the blessings you have been granted, the outcome of your efforts will be the reflection of your dedication.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk