This is me…… Your questions answered

How on earth do you manage to juggle working, writing, being a wife and a mother?

Having been a medical secretary for 20 years or so, I learned early on how to prioritise and I carried this into my home life.  I also learned to delegate too.  The grocery shopping is delivered which saves me several hours each week and leaves me the time I need to work and look after my husband.  All my children have left home and have children of their own, so they don’t need my constant attention.

What inspired you to write your books?

When I hit rock bottom about thirty years ago, I had very limited help or access to help, because there was none to be had.  I remember I had the flu, all the children had chicken pox and we were all sitting huddled in the living room of my tiny flat and I had just one 50p coin left for the meter.  I had no job, I perceived I had no prospects because I had been told for years that I was useless and nobody would want to employ me. I thought I have to change something because if I don’t I am not going to survive, and if I don’t survive my three small children won’t survive either.  I had to change the way I thought about myself.  So I changed one thought, ‘I do have prospects and I can get a job’.  My parents brought me more coins for the meter and when I was better I went out and got myself a job in a school kitchen cooking the dinners.  It kick started me back to a proper career and I wrote the books because I didn’t want anyone else to be in that position, and if it helps just one person I shall be so pleased.

3dbookcover

Where do you work? Do you have a regular pattern or routine or other?

I work for myself providing a virtual secretarial service globally.  There are some parts to the work that are regular, but mostly it is irregular.  Sometimes I can be working at 11 o’clock at night, and other days I am finished by lunchtime.  Additionally I am a highly qualified life coach also working globally and often I am coaching clients at 7am my time which could be 6pm their time, or I could be coaching at 5pm my time which is 9am their time.  As well as that I run a community interest company which helps people who have suffered domestic abuse.

I am a volunteer radio presenter for Vectis Radio and really enjoy this aspect of my life.

I love the flexibility of working from home and not having a boss.  So no there is no particular pattern or routine.

Who would you like/or do share a cup of coffee and a natter with?

I would love to sit down and have a natter with Oprah Winfrey.  She is such an inspirational woman who gives so much time to others and has come from a very poor background but has never forgotten her roots.  I have seen a couple of her chat shows but they don’t interest me, Oprah herself interests me. I would love to find out more about the real person behind the public persona.

I also love chatting with Carol Bridgestock who is an amazing woman who writes crime novels with her husband Bob, fund raises and is a champion of all people and an inspiration.

How do you relax?

I like to relax at home with a glass of wine and good dvd.  It could be a film or a series, I have just finished watching ‘Smash’ a series about writing and finding the right actors to play the parts in a musical about Marilyn Monroe.  I tend to watch the films and series I like on my own when my husband is out in the evenings on occasion.  And of course I read quite a lot too.

What do you have in your handbag right now?

I have a notebook and several pens, purse,  Kindle, diary, mobile phone, car keys, house keys, business cards and that’s about it.

What’s your favourite smell?

I love the smell of freshly baked bread , I also love the smell of basil, it always smells so fresh and clean.  New babies smell gorgeous too.  I don’t do very well with perfumes as I am allergic to them so everything I have is unperfumed.

What’s the best advice you’ve been given or best advice you’d give?

The best advice I have been given is to just be yourself.  And that is the best advice I give anyone.  You can’t be anyone else, so just be yourself and be the very best you that you can be.

Maggie 3-1

This is me – Maggie Currie

What’s your favourite book/Film as a child/adult?

My favourite book as a child was Winnie the Pooh and as an adult it has been Gormanghast.  Winnie the Pooh because there is so much positivity in it and Gormanghast because it was written by a man in the trenches on little scraps of paper and it is what kept him sane.  The descriptions are stunning and the story so imaginative.

What are you working on now?

I am working on presenting a 12 module course for people who have escaped from domestic abuse, bullying in the workplace, and indeed those people who want to escape.  I have run some pilot courses with great feedback and am now starting on the programme with two courses running at the moment, one in the day and one in the evening. In January a third course will start on the mainland. So a very busy time.  Working on getting funding is time consuming, but I have been very lucky to get funding from The Lottery, The Island Foundation and Wightaid, as well as support from On The Wight.

I have another project which is a summer house in my back garden.  It is actually a fold up caravan that is around 45-50 years old.  I bought it this year and it has seen better days.  But it is going to have new curtains to brighten it up. I am going to paint the inside a lovely cream colour (it is currently pink) and it has got some ‘new’ seats that came from a caravan someone was breaking. It is peaceful to sit in the garden in all weathers and be in nature. And of course, if I don’t like where it is, I can fold it up and move it.

If you won the lottery what would you spend it on?

I would donate some of the money to my favourite charity The Isle of Wight Donkey Sanctuary, some I would use to help fund a safe haven for people to get away from domestic abuse.  If it were millions I am not sure what I would with it to be honest. Maybe buy an island of my very own – who knows?

Who do you admire in the literary world? Who do you consider your mentor? (Again can be used in any field of work you do)

I admire anyone who can write a book or novel that holds my attention and makes me want to keep reading.  There are too many books out there that I can’t get past the first couple of pages and that is a shame because they may get better as they go on, but I don’t want to read any more.  As for mentors I have several, some of whom are writers, some are life coaches and some are friends.  They are located in Australia, USA and UK and I communicate with them weekly, sometimes daily via Facebook.  And of course my husband is my greatest mentor as he supports and encourages me in everything I do.

Testimonials – Due to confidentiality they have been anonymised

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.” SR, USA

I have made some significant changes to what I do and how I behave.  Change is always difficult but you just have to have confidence, back yourself and go for it don’t you!!  Your book was the first step I took to set me on the way for this latest, and final, journey.  I have picked up a few other things on the way and there is no turning back now!!’ TB, IoW

‘Maggie helped me to recognise that I was stagnating and I chose not to do that any longer. I have changed my life dramatically in just one year and now I am really enjoying my life and my new relationship.’ LR, Gloucester.

“Things are really good. There is very much a difference in my homelife now, very rarely do I even think about work, which is great. Even my daughter has noticed a difference. I don’t seem to get stressed like I used to. I really can’t thank you enough for your help!” VP, IOW.

“It was quite apparent my immediate need for her guidance and advice regarding publishing my book have been adequately and superbly catered for by Maggie.” RS, Portsmouth.

Maggie Currie has a heart as big as the Universe!! She gets people, all people, especially those who are feeling ‘less than’. Maggie helps them to feel ‘more than’ who they believed themselves to be. We need more Maggie’s in the world!'” MS, UK

“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!”— JL. Milton Keynes.

“Thanks for the notes and your time yesterday. The idea of getting help was a major breakthrough for me and I am laughing at myself and in total disbelief that I had to be led by you to that very obvious solution!!! I guess you must get that all the time though. Getting help will open up the possibilities of what I can achieve enormously and I actually woke up this morning raring to go instead of dreading the day’s work.”. KG, Surrey

“Maggie, your well placed questions and non-judgemental help in our coaching session really helped me to think more clearly about my situation. ” GL, Paris, France

“‘Oh, what a wonderful call I just had with Maggie, she has a way of coaxing out of me things and putting others in proper perspective. Feeling so much better, the little residual of melancholy about the fourth of July was gone by the end of the call. Great feeling letting it go. Now to get on with the rest of the day I am feeling very upbeat’.”
VB, USA

“‘I wasn’t sure what to do in my relationship, Maggie helped me understand that I was worrying about things that I imagined might happen and not living in the relationship. Once I got my head around that and stopped thinking about imaginary scenarios, things improved dramatically and my partner and other people noticed the positive difference in me'” LR, Australia

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.” –  DU, UK

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Fear of crowds

Fear of crowds is very common for a lot of people whether they are single, married, male, female, high flyers, students, teachers, old or young .

I know how it feels to be alone in a crowd. I often feel totally overwhelmed in a large crowd of people, especially if I don’t know anyone in that crowd. It can feel like I am on the periphery and not allowed into the inner circle, and that, of course, makes the fear even worse. I wonder if the fear is actually of the crowds themselves or is it a fear of feeling lost or being unnoticed amongst a large number of people?

I know when I am in a large crowd of people entirely ‘on my own’ I feel nervous; I have an irrational fear that nobody will even notice that I am there.  I look at the little groups of people who do know each other within that large crowd enjoying themselves and the company of each other and that somehow increases my nervousness and the fear.  Of course they may feel just like I do but when I feel that fear, it certainly looks like they’re having a great time and I’m not. When I am in a large crowd of people and I have my own ‘group of people’ with me I feel safe and secure and know that I am noticed and therefore I don’t have those same feelings as when I am alone in a crowd.

Business people communicating with each other against white

Did you grow up in a house where “children were seen and not heard”? I know I did. That might be the root of these feelings of nervousness and insecurity as they are for me. I can ultimately relate feeling like this to my childhood when I was constantly told that I should be seen and not heard.  So I would sit in the corner with my toys and only speak when I was spoken to.

Having worked hard on discovering my authentic self, discovering, acknowledging and accepting those unexpressed feelings and emotions of when I was told to be seen and not heard,  I now think and act differently.  I know there is a solution to this fear of crowds.  Based on what I know to be true about fear.  I know that FEAR is:

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

I have found the solution that works for me and this might work for you too:

  • Don’t worry about pleasing anyone else. Just be you.
  • Here’s what I do – I take three deep breaths and take the plunge.
  • I walk amongst the strangers in the crowd and I expect to be noticed. I’ve decided not to expect to be or feel lost.
  • I make eye contact with people and smile at them.
  • I say hello to people I have never met before and strike up conversations.  They aren’t always long conversations, just long enough to introduce myself and be friendly and to listen to the other people.  Sometimes they are much longer, it depends on the person of course. Once the conversations start to happen, other people start to talk to me and to each other and before long I am part of the ‘crowd’ and not isolated on the periphery.

Even if being you just says it’s ok to not talk to anyone – which is a good friend of mine’s solution for her fear of crowds.  She’s decided to not push herself and just enjoys watching people. Funny thing is, she reports people come and talk to her.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I know that I am not alone in feeling alone.  There are other people who are in the same position as me and I make a special effort to speak to them as well and include them in the conversations.  The energy and dynamics of the crowd change visibly and it becomes much more enjoyable.

The most important thing is to find a way to feel comfortable being you whether you decide overcoming the fear by talking to people is your way, or overcoming the fear by giving yourself a break and just allowing others to talk to you is your way. Bottom line, stop pressuring yourself to be like everyone else and just be you.

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Are you holding on to things you feel you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a whole load of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they feel they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t want or need to. For instance the person who they had a row with, but neither is now speaking to the other – but both want to only they both feel the other ‘should’ get in touch first.  The ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but you don’t.

This is very common and you are definitely not alone, I have done it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional baggage that you could be doing without? If you were to lose that emotional weight you could be focusing on something more productive instead.

Does this resonate with you?  If you are carrying around a lot of emotional baggage, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

disengagefromthedrama

Take a look at your life and begin to get rid of this baggage by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Another term for this is “psychological completion” or just “completion”.

Take as long or as short a time as you like to answer these questions and finish the exercise. By writing your answers down they become more real.

Get to it and watch your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

Make an action plan to get rid of or communicate to others about the things that you have been putting up with. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan to reduce this number! Take action!

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  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send a card or an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here and the now. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that knock your self esteem.

If you need help with any of the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The Essence of You

Journey to the real you:

Part 1:

Do you remember when were you happy, free, creative, fun, vulnerable, secure?

We are looking for the essence of who you are at the core of your being.

Find some photos of you when you were a child, maybe 5 or 6 years old. If you can’t find any, then try and find some of you as a teenager or at least younger than you are now.

Really look at the younger you in the photos. Answer these questions as well as you can.

  • What do you remember about the way you were?
  • If you were the parent of this child, what would you give them?
  • How would you encourage them in their lives?
  • What do you think they deserve in this life?
  • How would you want their life to be?
  • How should they be treated emotionally?
  • How could you protect/nurture her?
  • What do they need in their life right now?
  • What qualities did they have then that they might have forgotten?
  • What changes do you feel this person would like to make in their lives right now?

Beware of thinking the pathetic thought that ‘There is nothing good about me.  I can’t fill this in’.  If you continue with this type of thought pattern you will always stay trapped.  Please try to work really hard here…. even if you can only come up with one or two of these statements, at least it’s a start.  Remember to look at your photo as you do this. Listen to your innate thinking, sit quietly and listen to what you hear.

sisters

Part 2:

Look at your photo as you complete this exercise, write your answers to the statements below.

This might be tough for you so please be gentle with yourself.  You might feel like giving up at this point, or skipping this exercise, or skim-reading it through.  Don’t!  If you work really hard you will begin to feel some positive benefits.

This is where we can now begin to create some positive dialogue which will anchor you and make you feel strong again.

  • I deserve to be happy because ………
  • I like me because ……….
  • I am a valuable human being because ………
  • I am a beautiful human being because ……….
  • I have value because ………
  • I have worth because ………
  • I am worth loving because ………
  • I deserve to have fun in life because ………
  • I am important because ………
  • I am loveable because ……….
  • I am unique because ……….
  • I am perfect as I am because ………

 

Once you have completed the last exercise as best you possibly can, read your answers and remind yourself daily of why you are so special.

You can do this exercise again in a few months and notice any changes.

If you need help with any of the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

How did I know I had low self-esteem? And how did I change that?

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there.  For me the following was very true:

  • I didn’t think I was good enough.
  • I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.
  • I didn’t look after myself, I put others first.
  • I let people manipulate me.
  • I was in a bad relationship.
  • I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.
  • I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn’t think I knew anything.
  • I was verbally, psychologically, financially and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession.  This situation went on for 12 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.  Whilst in that relationship I had no idea that it wasn’t normal, I thought every marriage was the same.

worried

I woke up one morning and a though crept into my mind.  This is not normal, there has to be something different.  I explained my situation to a solicitor and he confirmed it was not normal. I decided there and then I had to get out of that relationship.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope.  My self-esteem went down even further.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Well I can assure you, there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I run a successful business that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 33 years to a wonderful man who loves me.  I have retrained as a life coach and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it. I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that’s why I can help so many people.  I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

I also work with people who have escaped from abusive relationships or who want to escape. I love my work.

theworldisyourcanvas

So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

  • Stop thinking that you are not good enough. You most definitely are.
  • Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish – it is essential.
  • Before you think that you don’t have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.
  • There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it and you will find it.
  • Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you.

By changing your attitude towards yourself, other people will change their attitudes towards you, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.

If any of this resonates with you, get in touch and we can have a chat about how we can work together to rebuild your self-esteem.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Stress – what is it?

Have you set yourself goals that you want to achieve?  If so, are they actually achievable?  And more importantly are they really necessary?

You can create stress around goals.  You make them mean something about your worth and value and this creates pressure as you strive to achieve them.  And if you do achieve them, will there still be something missing?

womanscreaming

So, let’s imagine you want to test out how much stress you can create.

If you feel you have to make it happen you are putting a huge responsibility on your shoulders.  You think you are on your own.  You work hard at gaining more knowledge, you work harder and keep a very tight control.  You make it all about your personal commitment and discipline.  You want to prove yourself to yourself and to everyone else or you think you will lose everything.  You force yourself out of your comfort zone creating stress and fear all the way along.

Or you could leave it all up to the Universe.  This means you sit and wait for the conditions of your environment or in your mind to be perfect.  This is very unlikely to happen, as perfection does not exist.  So you create stress whilst you wait.

Or you can use your free will and make decisions from your innate wisdom and stay on course when your thoughts appear stressful.  It is your thoughts that cause the stress, since stress itself does not exist until we create it.

Happy young woman with a white background

So relax into what it is you want to achieve, live in the moment, don’t think about the future as it hasn’t happened yet, do what you feel is right and your perceived stress levels will reduce and you may even find that you have no need to set goals at all.

If anything you have read resonates with you, let me know.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Self-esteem

Having self-esteem means feeling good about yourself.  It means you feel worthy of happiness, health, love and forgiveness.  When you have a healthy level of self-esteem you have a strong sense of your personal power.  Then, and only then, can you move forward positively in your life.

When your self-esteem isn’t it tact, it has been diminished by constant reminders that you are worthless, useless and nobody wants you, you feel frightened and vulnerable.  You are open to the challenges life brings but as they breeze in they knock you over and you feel incapable.

To rebuild your self-esteem and ultimately your self-confidence, you have to examine your beliefs about who you are and remind yourself daily of your talents, your qualities and your abilities.  You must dare to question your direction in life and learn to dream again.  And, by taking some very gentle baby steps you will being to rebuild your foundation again and build your self-esteem and confidence on that foundation.

One of the first ways to begin this process is to stop worrying about what other people think of you.  What other people think of you is none of your business.  Let them think whatever they like.

What you will usually find is that other people are far more worried about what you think of them to even begin to think about what they think of you.

disengagefromthedrama

You are human.  All human beings make mistakes and we usually recover.  From now on I want you to do what is right for YOU, regardless of what other people think.

I want you to take personal responsibility for your role in each and every situation you face in your life.  Understand that your thinking and your attitude create your life.

Consider how you respond to people and situations.  Look at how you can change your responses to put you in control of your life – NOW.

You can’t change other people, but you can change your response to them.

One of the very steps to rebuilding your self-esteem is to let go of the past.  By holding on to negative and angry feelings and emotions you are the only person who is suffering.  It is like picking up a burning coal to throw at something and not letting go.  The longer you hold on to it, the more you are burned.

Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. As I said, we are all human.  You are doing the best that you can.

Set yourself free to move your life forward.  Don’t allow past mistakes to weigh you down.

the past

Another thing to let go of is perfection.  Accept yourself as you are, now in this moment. Life is a huge learning curve and you are doing the best that you can with the resources, knowledge and insights that you have.

By judging yourself as imperfect you are removing your opportunity to grow, learn and experience happiness in your life.

Gently nurture yourself, as you would a small child.  Accept that others can make mistakes and are imperfect too.

Don’t compare yourself to other people.  Drop your expectation of others having to be perfect. We are all human with human imperfections.

Choose not to scream at yourself or condemn yourself for perceiving you are stupid or for not being perfect.

Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself in all situations.  Quieten that harsh voice that is terrorising your mind.  Know that you can deal with much more than you think.

Try one or more of the following:

Is there anything you enjoyed as a child – drawing, painting, dancing, singing for instance – that you would love to experience again, but the fear of being not good enough stops you from doing it? What is it?

If you were to suggest to a friend something they could do to treat themselves, what would that be? Would you like that treat yourself?

What would really make you jump for joy if you were to allow yourself the opportunity to experience it?

What would you love to treat yourself to that you can afford – however you have never allowed yourself to go for it?

Make a list of five tiny little treats that would allow you to enjoy your days more.

If anything you have read resonates with you, let me know.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk