Shopping in charity shops – Is there a stigma?

When you walk along most high streets you will find several charity shops.  There are those that raise funds for animals, those that raise funds for research, those that raise funds to aid people, those that raise funds for a hospice or hospital.  All are for good causes and are usually well supported.

There are many and varied reasons that people donate to charity shops, and equally many and varied reasons why people buy from charity shops.

Let’s take the reasons people donate first.  There are those who donate their items because they no longer want or use them and they feel there is life left in them. They feel that they could be used and enjoyed for a few more years by someone else.

There are those who donate their items because they don’t work, are broken or have pieces missing. They would rather do that and let the charity shop dispose of it than take it to the tip or put it in the dustbin themselves.  They may feel they are doing someone a favour, but in fact the charity shop ends up having to pay someone to take these items away.

washingontheline

Now let’s take the reasons buy from charity shops.  There are those who buy from charity shops because the items are priced at much below usual retail prices. They have a budget to spend on clothes, shoes etc., and find they get good value buying in a charity shop.  There are those who buy from charity shops to support their preferred charity.  There are those who buy from charity shops to buy upmarket items at a reduced price so they feel and look good but would never admit they bought the items in a charity shop. I am sure there are many more reasons too.

Whatever the reasons, more people will buy from a charity shop that looks clean, is bright and inviting, is laid out properly and has friendly staff.

recycle

I saw a news item on the television the other evening explaining how a company is upcycling shop fittings that have been thrown in the skip or are no longer required to refit charity shops.  The results are amazing in that shops that were previously cramped and dour looking, are now able to display their items to their best advantage and thus sales have increased.  Additionally, the refitted charity shops have reported that their donations are of higher quality now than before the refit.

I would rather go into a bright and cheerful, well laid out shop than one that is crowded, cramped and often smelly.

I can’t see anything wrong with buying second hand clothes or items.  I remember there used to be shops in Carnaby Street in the 1960’s where second hand clothes were sold and it was the fashionable thing to do, so it is nothing new. These day, there are, of course, costumes and festival clothes for sale both at festivals and in the surrounding areas to enhance the festival experience.

Getting our lives back after divorce

Is there a stigma attached to buying items from a charity shop?  In some people’s eyes yes there definitely is, in other people’s eyes no there isn’t, and of course there are those who don’t know.

The charity shops fill a gap in the market.  They occupy what would otherwise be empty shops.  They employ a manager and give volunteers the opportunity to learn about retail and also give back to the community.

Do you shop in charity shops? I would love to hear your views on this subject.  Get in touch and let me know what you think.

 

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Learn to say “NO” – listen to your innate wisdom

How do you respond when someone makes a request you’d prefer not to accommodate? Do you find yourself saying yes, even though your authentic self  wants to say no?

Here are some of my ideas, based on the Three Principles, you can use to make sure you don’t find yourself doing something you’d very much prefer not to do.

The question has just been posed. “Will you please do xyz?”    Pause.

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Was your immediate thought that you ought to say yes?  How did that feel?  Did it make you feel nervous, angry, stressed, etc.?

Stop.  Take a deep breath.  What is your intuition or innate wisdom saying to you?  Probably it is saying no.

Saying “no” is hard for many of us.  Guilt often comes into play.  Whether this guilt has its foundation in religion, a proper upbringing, or a worldview that simply says “it’s not nice to say no”, we often recognise it and make decisions we’d rather not be making, based upon it.

You’ve made the decision, based on your intuition or innate wisdom, to honestly say “NO”.

Well, go ahead and say it clearly, and self-assuredly…in the mirror.  Look yourself in the eye, and do it.  Just say “NO.”

Say it like you really mean it, and then say it again as you would to whomever made the request of you.  When you pretend you’re speaking to the person who made the request, does it come out differently?

Practice and experiment with different ways to say “NO” until you find one you’re comfortable with.

Then go, and say “NO.”

After you say “NO”, if you’re used to giving in to others, then guess what? After all that practice, you may just be surprised to find that they are not willing to accept it! They may push, rephrase the question, or make a new, not altogether different, request.

Be prepared for this!  Know your boundaries – what ARE you willing to do?

If you are serious about saying “NO” then stick to your guns.

Tell the individual making the request that you would appreciate it if they respected your wishes, and ask them to refrain from pursuing it further.

You don’t have to justify your response. But if you are comfortable expressing your “reasons why” then do so speaking from your personal perspective.

tips

Tips on how to say and not say your “NO!”

  • The “Wet lettuce NO”

Saying NO in a quiet, unassuming voice is like a hand shake that is floppy and limp.

  • The “Mr Angry NO”

This is at the other end of the spectrum in how to say NO. Here are a couple of examples:

“NO. I’m not doing that rubbish. You’ve got to be joking aren’t you?”

“NO. I wouldn’t lower myself to do that piece of work”

  • The assertive NO

This is the best way to say NO! In a firm, yet polite, voice say:

“No. I will not be able/don’t want to do that for you”

Also, if you want to say the reasons why, keep it short and sweet.

“No. I will not be able to do that for you. I will be having my hair done at that time”

  • Use effective body language

When saying NO remember the power of non-verbal communications. Look the person in the eye when you say the NO. Shake your head at the same time as saying NO. Stand up tall. Use a firm tone in your voice.

Remember, if your nerve is wavering, you are perfectly okay to say, “Can I think about that and get back to you?”

Don’t be pressurised into giving an immediate answer, even if the delay is only a couple of minutes. It will give you some time to think it through and to gather your thoughts, connect with your innate wisdom. It will also give you some time to think about how you are going to say it, the words to use and your body language.

Practice makes perfect as they say!

Start to say NO more often when you feel it is right to you.

  • You will feel much more confident and proud.
  • You will find that practice makes perfect – the more you confidently say “NO” the easier it becomes.
  • Others will respect your wishes and take you seriously the first time you say “NO.”
  • You won’t find yourself doing things you never wanted to do in the first place.
  • You’ll have more time to focus on the things you do want to be involved in.
  • The list goes on from there…

So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ There is no end or limitation, nor are there boundaries, to the human mind.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Energy sapping people

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of energy, which can also affect your levels of self-esteem and confidence. We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

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So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support you, rather than bring you down all of the time?

  1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.
  2.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
  4. Remember, nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

Your life is far to precious to hang around with people who are sapping your energy.  Hold on to those people who boost your energy, challenge you to be your best self.  Surround yourself with people who make you happy and feel energised.

So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Napoleon Hill says, “ Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of coaching they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their hour long session can often be the only time in a busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Hand on heart, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for, I had the focus and drive to work really hard and I was making good progress.  And yet, I wound up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  If this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Stressed Businesswoman

Talking through how I felt with a friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a human doing instead of a human being” and I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months I could think of few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and just be.

So how much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?   If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be?

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do you choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself and I’m certain that I’m much more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So what time could you make for yourself to just be?  When could you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that to relax and recharge?  How much better would you feel if you did?

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Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

Have you got so lost in the process of life that you have forgotten who you are?  If so, I can help you.  Get in touch today.

 

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Removing stress with coaching

Having too much stress in your life, will make you anxious, irritable and unproductive.  It will affect your relationship with yourself, your performance at work, your long term physical and emotional health and your quality of your life.

Coaching will enable you to overcome stress quickly and easily, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer, altogether more confident and most importantly, free of stress. Ultimately you will start living the life you desire.

Why is it that all we seem to hear about these days is stress?  Why does it seem to pervade everything we do?  Well the simple answer is that as a result of ever-increasing expectations and competition more and more people are spending increasing amounts of time utilising their body’s natural stress response.

This instinctive response releases stress hormones directly into the bloodstream. These hormones cause instant mental, emotional and physiological changes – extra awareness, endurance and strength.  So if we were in a dangerous situation, this would help us to survive.

Because stress hormones get us fired-up, rather like sprinters crouched and waiting for the starting-gun, and because most stressed people don’t get the release of the race itself,  the stress hormones just keep on working.

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As a result, we permanently have to endure these feelings of immediate danger and physiological, mental and emotional readiness, never able to relax and never able to feel at ease. Does this sound familiar?

Stress has a dramatic impact on the quality of our lives. It can cause a wide range of emotional problems including issues with anger, anxiety, addiction, panic and obsessive thoughts.  It can also affect our physiology such that we suffer from insomnia and the inability of our immune system to work effectively.

Perhaps your stress is caused by going through or the aftermath of divorce or a life trauma.  Stress can also be caused by health worries – real or perceived, by financial worries, through a whole raft of worries, through being alone or never being alone.

Do you feel overwhelmed by having too many things to do?  Have you noticed that you wake up early or in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because your mind is racing?  Have you been feeling more irritable about minor things at work or at home?   If so, it sounds like there’s too much stress in your life.

You are not alone. But why not give it up?  Why not reclaim your life and start living the life you deserve to enable you to overcome your stress rapidly, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer and much more confident.

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One of the tools you will learn to adopt through coaching is to stop getting caught in the avalanche of information – much of it negative – that assaults you throughout the day and adds to your worries and therefore the stress levels.  Go on a news fast for a day, or a week.  Moderate your TV and Internet time.

Coaching tackles life stresses in a more courageous way than many stress management techniques, because it invites you to take an honest look at the fundamental cause of your stress – namely – your life.

Unlock your future by building the new foundations of your life now.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

maggieheart
Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Your assertive rights

In your continuing journey of rebuilding your confidence as the real you, it is essential that you implement your assertive rights so that your life is as happy as it can be.  Being assertive is not the same as being aggressive or rude.  Your assertive rights are there to help you to stand up for yourself and continue to build your confidence in yourself.

I have included your assertive rights below and I would like you to read them and be aware that you do have the right to implement them, no matter what other people think.

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ASSERTIVE RIGHTS

  1. I have the right to judge my own behaviour, thoughts and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon myself.
  2. I have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify my behaviour.
  3. I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.
  4. I have the right to change my mind.
  5. I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
  6. I have the right to say “I don’t know”.
  7. I have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.
  8. I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
  9. I have the right to say “I don’t understand”.
  10. I have the right to say “I don’t care”.
  11. I have the right to say “No”.

Please read and absorb these assertive rights and then begin to implement them in your daily life.  Don’t think that other people won’t notice, they will and they will probably be surprised.  So what?

Let them get over it and continue to assert your rights on a daily basis.  It will increase your confidence and reduce the risk of you being treated as a doormat. Your life will improve and you will boost your confidence by implementing your assertive rights on a regular basis.

Not sure where to begin with asserting yourself? Get in touch today to find out how my inspirational coaching can transform first you – and then your life.

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
 
maggieheart
 
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
 
 
Find out more about me and my ‘Why’ on my website 

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they come from but I sometimes wake up feeling that way.
I remember one such occasion, I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I went to every Thursday morning at 7am, which meant getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed ready for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings were full of energy and fun and a pleasure to be at, but on this day it was a little different. One of our members had split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is now living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she had suddenly gone.

There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, but they were so unnecessary and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

Business people communicating with each other against white

When the meeting finished I took some items to the DHL drop point to send around the world, as I do several times a week with my secretarial business. This should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour because the computer system wouldn’t let them put in the address and postcode I had for one item going to China, and a call to the helpdesk was needed and this took forever. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of every one and every thing.

So instead of getting back to my office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me.

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The night before I had been on a fabulous phone call with two coaching colleagues. The creativity and ideas were flowing from them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly.

So, I believe that I was feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at that particular moment I wasn’t sure where.

I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so.

Having written all this I felt much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people.  I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

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So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:

 

My creativity 

  • Superb coach
  • Brilliant cook
  • Expert typist
  • Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
  • Brilliant writer and author
  • Fabulously intuitive
  • Do my accounts satisfactorily
  • Create a good workspace
  • Create opportunities for clients
  • Create opportunities to get clients
  • Great supporter
  • Impactful
  • Great teacher
  • Create achievable goals for my clients and for myself

 

My Innovativity

  • Build relationships online and in person
  • Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
  • Find new ways for me to succeed
  • Lead by example
  • Positive and encouraging to all
  • Hear beyond the words

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me.  You are not alone.  I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself.  As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning.  I really do look forward to hearing from you with your lists of creativity and innovativity. Get in touch today to find out how my inspirational coaching can transform first you – and then your life

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
 
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
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Find out more about me and my ‘Why’ on my website