Stress – what is it?

Have you set yourself goals that you want to achieve?  If so, are they actually achievable?  And more importantly are they really necessary?

You can create stress around goals.  You make them mean something about your worth and value and this creates pressure as you strive to achieve them.  And if you do achieve them, will there still be something missing?

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So, let’s imagine you want to test out how much stress you can create.

If you feel you have to make it happen you are putting a huge responsibility on your shoulders.  You think you are on your own.  You work hard at gaining more knowledge, you work harder and keep a very tight control.  You make it all about your personal commitment and discipline.  You want to prove yourself to yourself and to everyone else or you think you will lose everything.  You force yourself out of your comfort zone creating stress and fear all the way along.

Or you could leave it all up to the Universe.  This means you sit and wait for the conditions of your environment or in your mind to be perfect.  This is very unlikely to happen, as perfection does not exist.  So you create stress whilst you wait.

Or you can use your free will and make decisions from your innate wisdom and stay on course when your thoughts appear stressful.  It is your thoughts that cause the stress, since stress itself does not exist until we create it.

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So relax into what it is you want to achieve, live in the moment, don’t think about the future as it hasn’t happened yet, do what you feel is right and your perceived stress levels will reduce and you may even find that you have no need to set goals at all.

If anything you have read resonates with you, let me know.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Self-esteem

Having self-esteem means feeling good about yourself.  It means you feel worthy of happiness, health, love and forgiveness.  When you have a healthy level of self-esteem you have a strong sense of your personal power.  Then, and only then, can you move forward positively in your life.

When your self-esteem isn’t it tact, it has been diminished by constant reminders that you are worthless, useless and nobody wants you, you feel frightened and vulnerable.  You are open to the challenges life brings but as they breeze in they knock you over and you feel incapable.

To rebuild your self-esteem and ultimately your self-confidence, you have to examine your beliefs about who you are and remind yourself daily of your talents, your qualities and your abilities.  You must dare to question your direction in life and learn to dream again.  And, by taking some very gentle baby steps you will being to rebuild your foundation again and build your self-esteem and confidence on that foundation.

One of the first ways to begin this process is to stop worrying about what other people think of you.  What other people think of you is none of your business.  Let them think whatever they like.

What you will usually find is that other people are far more worried about what you think of them to even begin to think about what they think of you.

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You are human.  All human beings make mistakes and we usually recover.  From now on I want you to do what is right for YOU, regardless of what other people think.

I want you to take personal responsibility for your role in each and every situation you face in your life.  Understand that your thinking and your attitude create your life.

Consider how you respond to people and situations.  Look at how you can change your responses to put you in control of your life – NOW.

You can’t change other people, but you can change your response to them.

One of the very steps to rebuilding your self-esteem is to let go of the past.  By holding on to negative and angry feelings and emotions you are the only person who is suffering.  It is like picking up a burning coal to throw at something and not letting go.  The longer you hold on to it, the more you are burned.

Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. As I said, we are all human.  You are doing the best that you can.

Set yourself free to move your life forward.  Don’t allow past mistakes to weigh you down.

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Another thing to let go of is perfection.  Accept yourself as you are, now in this moment. Life is a huge learning curve and you are doing the best that you can with the resources, knowledge and insights that you have.

By judging yourself as imperfect you are removing your opportunity to grow, learn and experience happiness in your life.

Gently nurture yourself, as you would a small child.  Accept that others can make mistakes and are imperfect too.

Don’t compare yourself to other people.  Drop your expectation of others having to be perfect. We are all human with human imperfections.

Choose not to scream at yourself or condemn yourself for perceiving you are stupid or for not being perfect.

Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself in all situations.  Quieten that harsh voice that is terrorising your mind.  Know that you can deal with much more than you think.

Try one or more of the following:

Is there anything you enjoyed as a child – drawing, painting, dancing, singing for instance – that you would love to experience again, but the fear of being not good enough stops you from doing it? What is it?

If you were to suggest to a friend something they could do to treat themselves, what would that be? Would you like that treat yourself?

What would really make you jump for joy if you were to allow yourself the opportunity to experience it?

What would you love to treat yourself to that you can afford – however you have never allowed yourself to go for it?

Make a list of five tiny little treats that would allow you to enjoy your days more.

If anything you have read resonates with you, let me know.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Your Ideal Self and Life

Your self-concept is made up of various parts, each of which affects each of the others. Understanding these parts enables you to become nearer to your ideal self.  When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept, you can then control your destiny for the rest of your life.

The first part of the self-concept is your “self-ideal.”  Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality.  Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

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Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity.  Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them. Always remember, that you are innately authentic in the way you live your life.  Don’t do anything that is false, be true to your authentic self.

Successful people have very clear ideals for themselves.  Unsuccessful people have fuzzy ideals.  Successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives.  Unsuccessful people don’t give the subject very much thought.  One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviours are consistent with their idealised behaviours.

Part of your ideals are your goals.  As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallises.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

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Perhaps the most important thing for you to realise is that whatever anybody else has done or become, you can do or become as well.  Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you accept.

  • What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become?
  • How would you behave each day if you were already that person?

Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people.  If you don’t like what you see in your picture, change it.  There are no limits here – you are safe to change anything in your picture.  Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with your answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

Firstly, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life.  Remember your goals have to be achievable by you.  But step outside of your comfort zone, even by a couple of tiny steps, and see what a difference it makes. Allow yourself to imagine your wonderful life ahead.

Secondly, think about how you would act if you believed you were the outstanding person in your vision in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play.  You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Remember to remain true to your authentic self.  Practice all of the above.

If any of this resonates with you, please contact me and let me know your results. I love to hear all about your successes.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Do you look good on the outside, but inside you are crumbling?

Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to get beyond these feelings to a calmer and more positive place. What if you could…

  • Overcome your fears and anxieties?
  • Gain the courage to make a change?
  • Get on with enjoying your life?
  • Unlock your inner strengths?
  • Put your own needs first?
  • Be a survivor not a victim?

THIS IS NOT SOME UNACHIEVABLE DREAM. I’M GOING TO HELP YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Picture this. In 2 1/2 days you’ll be feeling like a new you. You’ll have reconnected with your inner confidence and feel able to survive the challenges and obstacles that you face in your life.

You will have developed a new found energy, and you will have a spring in your step.

You’ll be on track to change your situation and live the life you want.

IN OTHER WORDS, IN JUST 2 1/2 DAYS, YOUR LIFE WILL BE TURNED AROUND.

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I am running two retreats, one for women and one for men, here on the Isle of Wight.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat for women, and The L.I.F.E. Retreat for men.

 

I’M HERE TO HELP YOU

I want you to know that it is possible to make a change; that no situation, no matter how desperate, is insurmountable.

As Napoleon Hill says, “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

So, if you’re serious about moving on from your feelings of anxiety and despair, now’s the time to take action.

I’ve designed this Retreat for you – the person who is struggling to live life on your own terms and is finally ready to turn things around.

I’m here to help you be a survivor.

Stop making the same vague wish (“I hope my life finally takes off this year”) every single birthday.

One of these Retreats is for you if you’re finally ready to make a positive change and be a survivor, not a victim.

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WHICHEVER RETREAT YOU CHOOSE, I AM GIVING YOU:

  • The tools you need to recharge yourself and your confidence in yourself in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
  • The knowledge you need to survive following a life trauma – divorce, redundancy, overwhelm, loss.
  • My knowledge and the resources I have accumulated over many years of research, trial and error and failure, and of course successes.
  •  A stay in a beautiful Victorian mansion so close to the beach you will have sand in your shoes. (Situated a 20 minute walk from the Hovercraft and Wightlink Fastcat passenger terminals. No need to bring your car across.  I can even arrange for you to  be collected from the ferry or hovercraft and bring you to the venue.)
  • The focus on you to get to know and love your real SELF.
Plus I am giving you:
 
  • A buffet style continental breakfast each morning.
  •  Your own chef preparing, cooking and serving your lunches and dinners each day on site.
  •  Unlimited refreshments throughout each day.
  •  Your own welcome pack to keep.
  •  Some top notch surprise guest speakers and coaches to add to your experience.
  •  Our own private Facebook group for continued support.
  •  A one to one coaching session with me.

YOU will find the solutions you are looking for. Forget all the imagined reasons why you think it won’t work for you.  Believe the one reason why it will!

Find out more about the Retreat of your choice by clinking on the appropriate link:

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

The investment per person is £749.00 all inclusive.  No hidden costs. Everything is provided, just bring yourself.

Don’t think of cost, think of the value to you and your life.

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RESULTS

I’ve been working with clients as a thought leader and survival coach for the past 10 years to help them overcome stress, anxiety and life trauma.

I helped one client to change their career from one they hated to one they loved.

Another client came to me with anxiety associated with confrontation and low self-esteem.  She is now leading a whole team of people and confident in her abilities.

I also helped a client who was suffering from very low self-esteem to realise her full potential and she is now blossoming running her own business.

Don’t just take my word for it!

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.”
– DU, UK (Male)

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK (Male)

“Maggie assisted me through a challenging time in my life. She is able to combine a no nonsense approach with genuine empathy to her coaching work and shares her knowledge generously. She holds you accountable for outcomes in a warm and caring manner. Being coached by Maggie was such a pleasure. I always looked forward to those sessions with anticipation. Maggie is able to hold your space in a non-judgemental manner which gives you the confidence to move forward. I certainly recommend her as a coach.” – TZ, South Africa (Female)

“I used to get irritated whenever you would say ‘why can’t you do that?’ or ‘why do you think that?’. But now I see that by questioning my thinking you have broadened my outlook and I can actually achieve more than I ever thought. In fact the other day I was faced with a challenge, and my initial thought was I need to get someone in to do this for me. Then I stopped and thought of you and it came to me that I can do it. And do you know what, I did it and it worked out very well.” – IM, UK (Male)

SO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT FROM YOUR LIFE? WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LIFE COULD BE LIKE? AND HOW READY ARE YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 

Book your place today……..There are only 10 places available for each Retreat.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

Grant yourself the freedom to START LIVING.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
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Find out more about me on my website.
 
P.S. Here are just a few testimonials from my previous workshops/courses/seminars:

 
“Thanks Maggie, I have your book in my bag and the collage I made at your workshop, when I look at it, it gives me the confidence to carry on. I can’t thank you enough for that workshop, it was great.” Maggie J
 
“Maggie always brings a refreshing energy to any situation. She truly enjoys helping others to live the life they deserve!” Teri H
 
“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!” Jane L
 
“Maggie makes the toughest challenges seem simple. Always exceeds my expectations.” Wendy W
 
“I have done really well since your workshop. I decided that it was OK to give up being self employed because there is too much going on elsewhere it is not serving me well. I have successfully applied for a surveyors job at xxxxxxx and been offered a very good package. I have accepted and start in November part time until I finish all my jobs and then full time by 2015. I am really pleased to say the least. It was very helpful to go somewhere for some “me” time. Thank you! ” Peter M

Give yourself permission to simply be

I have discovered that frequently the elation that we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a huge breakthrough can be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this time of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next, we may have feelings of lack of self worth and self doubt.

I know that during this period of downtime, we may begin to wonder what our life is about, what our purpose is, will life get better?  These feelings are very common and we all feel them from time to time. If this resonates with you, just remember you are not alone.

teenage depression - teen woman sitting thinking

Often, we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. We are engaged in the process of achieving, planning, doing.  But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week or even a month, simply existing and not having a plan. Just being.  This time is just as valuable and helps to rebuild our stocks of energy, ideas etc.

I know that I have found sometimes the quiet lull between ideas, projects, and goals can make life appear empty. I know there are some people who, after accomplishing one objective, want to move immediately on to the next.

However, we are all different.  When you find that your next step is unclear, it is quite natural to feel frustrated, or disconnected or even a mild depression.

To help calm what can be distressing thoughts, learn to accept that you will continue to grow as an individual whether you are striving for a specific objective or not. Just be. Use all the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next.

You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.

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I have found that this transition time is different all the time. It can be a period of reflection or a period of adjustment where new values based on recent changes can be integrated.

Just because you have temporarily lost sight of a final destination, doesn’t mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. Where you are going next will become apparent at the right time for you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences of simply being. Get in touch today.

 

Maggie Currie

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Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their hour and a half session can often be the only time in a busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Hand on heart, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for, I had the focus and drive to work really hard and I was making good progress.  And yet, I wound up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  If this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a human doing instead of a human being” and I thought about that all the way home.

teenage depression - teen woman sitting thinking

As I reflected on the previous few months I could think of few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and just be.

So, how much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?   If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each? What would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be?

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do you choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m much more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

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So what time could you make for yourself to just be?  When could you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that to relax and recharge?  How much better would you feel if you did?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?  Have you got so lost in the process of life, that you have forgotten who you are?

I can help you with focusing on you and learning to be.  Contact me today and we can have a chat on how it will work.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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Do you have feelings of inadequacy? I know I do.

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they come from, but I sometimes wake up feeling that way.

I remember one occasion, I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed ready to set off for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but on this day it was a little different. One of our members had split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is now living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she had suddenly gone. There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, as they were so unnecessary, and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

When the meeting finished I took some items to the DHL drop point to send around the world, as I do several times a week with my secretarial business. This should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour because the computer system wouldn’t let them put in the address and postcode I had for one item going to China, and a call to the helpdesk was needed, and this took forever. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of everyone and every thing. So instead of getting back to my office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

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I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me. The night before I had been talking on a fabulous phone call with two other coaches. The creativity and ideas were flowing from them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. So, I believe that I was feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at that particular moment I wasn’t sure where. I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so. Having written all this I felt much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people. I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:

My creativity

  • Superb coach
  • Brilliant cook
  • Expert typist – Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
  • Brilliant writer and author
  • Fabulously intuitive
  • Do my accounts satisfactorily
  • Create a good workspace
  • Create opportunities for clients
  • Create opportunities to get clients
  • Great supporter
  • Impactful
  • Great teacher
  • Create achievable goals for my clients and for myself

My Innovativity

  • Build relationships online and in person
  • Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
  • Find new ways for me to succeed
  • Lead by example
  • Positive and encouraging to all
  • Hear beyond the words

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning. I really do look forward to hearing from you with your lists of creativity and innovativity.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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