Underneath the noise – Hearing the whisper

You may have noticed that when you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be heard over the noise of the room generally hurts your throat and adds to the chaos.

Have you noticed that you inner voice whispers to you all the time? If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us, or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise.

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It is generally true that voices in our heads that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we associate with our childhood or from our culture, and they only speak half-truths.

The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth.

We will find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice.  As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust and confidence.

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I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your confidence diary.

A great way to boost your confidence is to keep a confidence diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you really are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to rebuild my confidence after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

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Either buy yourself a notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following confidence questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take just 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?

  • What am I happy about in my life right now?

  • Why am I happy about these things?

  • What did I accomplish last week?

  • What am I excited about in my life right now?

  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life? Who do I like hanging around? Why?

  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

Getting our lives back after divorce

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means answer them again whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. You can do this whilst enjoying a nice cup of tea or coffee.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Friends and family who sap your positive energy

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with a positive, ‘can do’ vibe that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people drain the energy from the room, and bring everyone down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

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Some family members can be a lot like this, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your family!

What can you do to make sure that the people you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining our positive energy you have a couple of options.  You can tell them how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it.  Or if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and find someone else to drain.

The same can be said for your family.  Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation.  Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain.  You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time to do something about it.

You may well find that you make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some other members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Self Awareness

When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness.  I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people.  I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

It is only since I have trained to be a life coach that I have really discovered myself and discovered my own self awareness.  I have found that to be able to grow into my own self-awareness I have to understand my feelings and emotions.  This was quite a difficult journey for me, as I have suppressed feelings and emotions for many years.  The reason – I was told by my parents when I was a child that I should be seen and not heard.  I was told that I should not express anger or display any emotion.  And so I learned to repress them.

Having this understanding now after learning so much about my feelings and emotions and rediscovering who I am really am, I know that I can express my feelings and emotions. And this is a huge step for me towards self-awareness.  But what does self-awareness do for me? What are the benefits to me?  Being self-aware has given me the opportunity and freedom to change those things I want to change about myself and create the life that I want.  I now don’t allow others to manipulate me.  I live my life on my terms.  I am seen and heard and I do express my feelings and emotions.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

The more clarity I get about who I am and what I want, and of course why I want it, the more I empower myself to consciously make those wants a reality. But, how do I get this clarity? I turn to the expert – ME.  I know more about myself than anyone else, I know I have been manipulated and by whom.  I know I have suppressed my feelings and emotions,  and I know why.  And I have got to know myself even better over the past few years by becoming so much more self-aware.  I am, of course, still learning.

To get the clarity I want I have learned to ask myself questions and expect specific answers. The more specific my answers, the more impact they have on my life and then I have a much clearer picture of  me.  Of course, there are times when my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and I know that is okay too.  I give myself the freedom to take a wild guess and this allows me to carry on.  What I have discovered is that I really do know more than I ever thought I did.

Honesty is vital in my answers to myself.  It will lead to my true self-awareness, but it does take a lot of courage.  It is the courage to face my fears or to face something I find difficult to accept about myself.  For instance, I know that I am impatient and want things to happen now.  I also know that when people are speaking to me I get impatient to hear the end of what they are saying, and I tend to try to finish their sentences for them.  I know this about myself and do my best to bite my tongue and not jump in with the answers.  By being totally honest with myself I take ownership of my actions, thoughts and feelings and find those beliefs that are no longer serving me. Those beliefs can then be discarded, altered or whatever feels right for me.

I find that sometimes I do slip up and give an answer that perhaps I think I should give, rather than what I really know is right.  That means I am giving answers from my head rather than getting in touch with my feelings and getting the answer there. To get out of my head again, I take several deep breaths and start to listen to my body, to notice where it is hurting and breathe into that place.  This helps me to balance myself and to find the answers I need, and they come from inside me rather than from my head.

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance.  I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before.  And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Travelling alone and enjoying it ! – Guest Blog by Gwen Perret

Maggie wrote me a guest blog a month ago titled « After Divorce, Travel ! », and that got me thinking. Of course, I am convinced of all the good things that comes out of traveling, especially in times when we need to reconstruct ourselves. But as a female travel lover and travel PA, I am concerned about the issues of women traveling alone : safety, boredom, social acceptance…

 Yes, I believe that traveling is essential on a self-reconstruction journey, but only if all conditions are put together to make the traveller feels safe. Feeling safe as a woman solo traveller, or as women traveling together in a group, means feeling free and safe wherever you go, whether it is physical integrity or not feeling judged or looked at, totally out of place.

 Of course, you always have the travel with singles option, which can be fun of you are ready to meet someone new in your life, outgoing… But what if you are just not in the dating mood, or just not that kind of person ? What if you just want to enjoy a place you have never been too and want to enjoy your new “you” just being by yourself ?

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 Well, that is possible. Good news, huh ? All you have to do is make sure, before you go, to pay attention to the following details.

 1)     Choose your destination carefully. Go somewhere you have always wanted to go but never could. This needs to be YOUR choice. It might not be everyone’s choice, but who cares ? When I was younger I spent a year abroad in Alaska, I was not 18 yet, and most people thought I had lost my mind. Who, on earth, would leave a great school, successful studies, a family and everything to go abroad for a year ? And moreover to Alaska ? Well I did. I have always loved far away, unknown places. And I am so glad I made it, no matter how discouraging people were before I left. So open Google Maps and choose.

2)     Choose your place of stay carefully. Now of course I would not recommend that you go spend a week in Gao, Mali right now. That might have to wait. But there are lots of places you can go safely. And then you can choose a nice district or town. You should know that some networks are specializing for solo travellers. Whether you prefer a hotel or a B and B, spend time in getting to know the area and the owners. Most of the B and B owners are passionate people and will help you with everything you need to know. Some of them even have special weeks for solo travellers, everything being planned to them to feel very comfortable.

3)     Choose your activities and options. Make sure you do not end up in a crowded restaurant for Valentine’s Day, or in the middle of young couples diving during their honeymoon. You know what I mean. Being the only single one, moreover the only recently divorced one can be a devastating experience. Here again, some networks will organize activities for solo travellers that have nothing to do with dating activities.

4)     Do not be shy. The earth is full of people who want to share experiences, even if it is just a few words on the weather, the landscape, the wine… Enjoy those moments sharing time with locals or other tourists. And if you are afraid of being alone, bring company ! Why not organize an all solo tour ? Whether it is an all divorced women, or mixing men and women… As long as you base it on a shared passion, for an activity, a product or a region, you will enjoy the company, be in the same state of mind…

5)     Make sure you give a full detailed planning to someone you trust at home : a family member, a good friend… Someone who will be to check on you on a settled basis, one a day, once every other day… You decide. A daily text or email is always a good solution to make people feel safe.

6)     Let it go and HAVE FUN !

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 Yes, let it go and have fun, because at the end that is all it is about. When you will be planning your trip carefully, at some point you will have to just trust yourself and enjoy. Open your eyes, your ears, talk to people, discover, get out of your comfort zone. The world is yours, take advantage of it.

 I know that planning a whole trip can be quite something for people while they also have to deal with their daily life. If you need help planning a bespoke trip, whether it is just for you or for a group, if you need someone to make sure you will be safe and who can check on you everyday, if you need someone to rely on in case of emergency while you travel, if you want a private woman travel guide with great ideas… I am here, that is my job, and I will be delighted to help with planning your vacation.

Gwendolin Perrett

Personal travel and event advisor at SensationElle

Our guest blogger, Gwen, taught for 4 years after graduating from anthropology. Then decided it was time to do what she really loved; travel. She recently became a Personal Travel Agent, mostly selling France and Europe to foreigners, but she also works on other destinations. She specializes in bespoke travel and events, making sure that her clients get the best experiences with no worries. This new job allows her to travel as much as she wants with her hubby and doggy and still be available for her privileged clients. Her office fits in a hand luggage : a Mac book, an iPhone, her notebook and a pen, and a few SensationnElle gift cards ready to be sent! Get in touch if you would like to know more information!

If you would like to contact Gwen her contact details are below:

www.sensationnelle.net

www.facebook.com/agence.sensationnelle
www.facebook.com/sensationnelle.wine
www.twitter.com/asensationnelle
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate…..it is a lack of self belief

I know how it feels to have feelings of inadequacy.  I feared that I wasn’t good enough, that others didn’t think I was good enough either.  I doubted by abilities and whether I actually knew anything at all.  Those feelings made my body feel heavy and sluggish, they made my brain all fuggy and hard to get going.  I felt totally unmotivated and really had to force myself to keep appointments and to do all the usual everyday things like looking after myself properly. I didn’t want to prepare any meals and therefore wasn’t eating properly. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate… it is really that we have little self belief. 

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The lack of self belief is something that had become a habit because I was always told that I was average when I was growing up and that I would never amount to anything.  And having been told that so many times, I believed it.  I believed it for many, many years until I started reading about self-development and coaching.  Something clicked for me,  and I decided that I probably do more than I originally thought.

I began to take courses in coaching, corporate coaching, NLP, confidence coaching and I discovered that not only did I love this work, I was good at it. No – I was very good at it indeed. And I loved every minute of it and still do. I am passionate about helping other people to develop as themselves and to boost their confidence and self belief.

Now I thought that after achieving all those diplomas, and all the many hours and days of hard work I had done to achieve them, I would get rid of those feelings of being inadequacy. But I was wrong. They all came back again and it was like reliving the same old behaviour patterns again.  What could I do?

I trained in emotion based coaching as an addition to my already extensive qualifications and I learned to look at my old unexpressed feelings which were affecting my life and learned to acknowledge them, deal with them and this allowed me to live my life as me in a much more confident way.  Working on myself I again had those feelings of inadequacy, but this time found the solutions to make those nasty feelings go away. I made a list of all the things that I do creatively and a list of my innovativity. That took some thinking about but I did it, and it really worked.  I am feeling so much more confident now in myself and who I am and what I have to offer to myself, my husband, my friends-in-deed and of course my clients.

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Getting good responses from the people I coach whilst they are getting great results makes such a difference to my confidence levels. I know that I am a brilliant coach with a lot to offer my clients and I know that I do a grand job with them.

I take each day as it comes and I boost my confidence by reading my lists of creativity and innovativity, watch the results of my clients and support people in the coaching community and know that I am confident in my abilities and in me. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate…..it is a lack of self belief.  It is very common for people going through divorce to lose their self-belief and that is where I can help.

 I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

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