Month: July 2020

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Reasons or excuses?

There are many people who say they want to change their habits or behaviours for many reasons.  Maybe these habits or behaviours are no longer beneficial to them. Maybe they are preventing them from following their dreams.

That is what coaching is all about, helping you to change the habits and behaviours that are no longer working well for you.

time for change sign with led light

Photo by Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com

BUT, here are just some of the reasons I have been given for not wanting to begin the change process:

  • It will be difficult
  • It’s going to be risky
  • It will take long time
  • There will be a family drama
  • I don’t deserve it
  • It’s not in my nature
  • I can’t afford it
  • No one will help me
  • It has never happened before
  • I’m not strong enough
  • I’m not smart enough
  • I’m too old (or not old enough)
  • The rules won’t let me
  • It’s too big
  • I don’t have the energy
  • It’s my personal history
  • I’m too busy
  • I’m too scared
  • What will other people think?

Those are not reasons, they are excuses. How do you know it will be difficult or risky? You do deserve it, you are strong and smart enough, you are never too old to change, what other people think is none of your business.

The bottom line is do you want to improve your life in some way or not?  It is your choice.  If you do then you need to get out of your own way, take the plunge and begin the change process.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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How to conquer our fear of failure

Our fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words  “I can’t”.  We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

black and white fence crime forbidden

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  This is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has been replaced as the parent and is perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but “I have to,” and “I have to,” but “I can’t.”

We can beat these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  Acting with courage in a fearful situation is a technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and they lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

Firstly, we need to realise and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever we feel afraid.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are, think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is the way we learn how to succeed.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Fear can block our creativity

That sounds daft I know but take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story.  Imagine yourself telling the story to someone you love and who loves you.  You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight, the feedback, even without words,  is positive.  Now, imagine telling that same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable.  The wonderful descriptions, the fine points and colourful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves.  Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will most likely feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down.  When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

young couple in casual clothes enjoying coffee and chatting

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Being aware of this is a positive as we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. Being in the flow is something that happens, not created.  It happens because we are so enthralled and wrapped up in what we are doing, that time flies by and before we know it a whole day has gone by.  Achieving being in the flow is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel uneasy and fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a creative and powerful antidote. Ensure you have everything you need to be creative. Have your right pens, paper, equipment ready.  Make sure you have a drink nearby, and something to snack on.  Play your favourite music if it helps.  Think about what creates the perfect space for you to be in the flow, and then let it happen naturally.  You cannot force it.  Flow will happen when your setting is right, when you are not fearful or being judged and you feel safe and warm.  Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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A short getaway

We often think of a holiday as something that requires an enormous amount of preparation, but small daylong excursions can be just as refreshing and fulfilling as a week away.  A short drive can transport you in the countryside or into a world of novel experiences and blissful relaxation. A day trip can be a wonderful way to unwind from the stresses of a routine existence. And when you choose to share your day trip with someone you care about, a leisurely drive becomes a chance to talk about childhood, recall favourite songs, or simply spend time enjoying the company.

van parked beside the road near handrail and ocean

Photo by gya den on Pexels.com

Living here on the Isle of Wight you won’t be surprised to see how many day-trip possibilities exist within a mere hour’s time from your home. Forests, beaches,  rivers, parks, coastal viewpoints can serve as the perfect spot for a mini holiday. The physical and mental rejuvenation you experience in an unfamiliar and engaging setting are enhanced by just being still with nature. Though the cost of fuel can make taking a day trip seem frivolous, and our commitment to environmental well-being may cause us to hesitate before utilising our cars in this manner, there are numerous ways we can effectively offset our carbon signature while still seeing to the needs of ourselves on a soul level.

Since day trips tend to require much smaller investments of time and money than traditional outings, you can enjoy a diverse range of experiences day by day. On one day, you may be motivated by a need to connect with your natural heritage to explore a park or nature reserve. On another, your curiosity can inspire you to visit an historical site that has long piqued your interest. In the end, where you go will often be less important than your willingness to broaden your horizons by removing yourself from the environment already so familiar to you. Each mini getaway you take will imbue your existence with a sensation of renewal that prepares you for whatever lies ahead.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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The pros and cons of partaking of live-streaming modules of learning, in my experience.

Several years ago I undertook a year long course in a particular aspect of coaching. This involved several weekends in the year attending a physical two day learning session in London or I could stay at home and live-stream the event.  The costs for the physical course or live streaming were very similar.  I opted mostly for the physical attendance, but the very last weekend I opted for the live-streaming.  I have to say it was extremely good, it was almost as if you were in the room and I, and the other live-streamers, was included in the discussions, the break out sessions were well managed with little groups of people able to chat with each other and see each other from all over the world. It worked very well indeed.

laptop beside peach color wall

Photo by bongkarn thanyakij on Pexels.com

A year or so later I wanted to attend another course, this time with different facilitators.  There were to be several physical weekends or live-streaming.  I plumped for the live-streaming as I had such a good experience the last time.  The costs of the course were similar to attending in person. What a mistake! This time basically there was a camera set up to video the main speakers. The camera did not move. The rest of the physical audience could not be seen. There was no interaction with the speakers or audience.  The break out sessions were laughable with half of the people asleep, gone for a tea break or not interested in talking.  At the end of the learning for the day the facilitators had to be reminded that there were still people live-streaming.  They admitted they had forgotten about them.  I didn’t attend any further sessions with them and gained a refund.

Beware of what is being offered to you.  Ask what you are getting, how you are getting it, if you will be involved.  Get good value for your money as these events are not cheap.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

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Things We Don’t Want to Do

Most of us can remember tackling some task that we absolutely dreaded doing only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. Often when we do these dreaded tasks, we come out on the other side changed and wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long to get around to it. We might even start to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel repeat those feelings.

notebook

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

Putting off that dreaded task creates obstacles for us, either because the task itself scares us, or we think it will bore us or we believe it will force a change we are not ready for.  On the other hand, facing that task at no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn’t want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.

I am sure we all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fuelled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk