Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?  Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

sunset beach people sunrise

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We also know of those people who could moan for England! They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

  1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.
  2.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as previously mentioned above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Maintaining our energy and confidence levels

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self-confidence.

photography of woman surrounded by sunflowers

Photo by Andre Furtado on Pexels.com

We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room, often just by walking into it!

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to..

Some family members can be a lot like this as well,  we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.
  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Moving forward in your life

People come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes we are not sure why until they have gone. But even that is good, because we always learn something from every single person who touches our lives.

We learn a myriad of things from so many different people. Some who have such amazing stories to tell, some who have simple stories to tell.  Some people who are only now beginning their journey of self-discovery, some who have travelled a long way along it’s path.

opened cookbook on table in kitchen

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Every single person has their own perspective, their own thoughts and dreams. Each and every one of us is following our own paths to discover what is lying ahead of us.

Accept that your life does not resemble anybody else’s. Everybody’s life is totally unique to them. Live your life the way you want to. You can happily co-exist with lots of like-minded people if you choose to.

Challenge your limiting beliefs about your life. Discover why you have those limiting beliefs. Open your mind to the possibility that you are not as limited in your life as you first thought. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that are out there, great or small. Be prepared to extend your thinking beyond what it has been, up until now. Be prepared to expand your norm.

Examine your attitudes. Decide whether they really are your attitudes, or whether they are attitudes imposed upon you by parents, guardians, siblings, teachers and so on. Once you have established which are yours and which are imposed, make the decision to alter the ones that are imposed upon you (but only if you disagree with them or they just don’t sit right with you).

Make one small change in your behaviour to create a huge change in your life. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic, it could just be changing the filling in your sandwich. Start small and work up to bigger changes, but make sure the changes are the ones that you want to make.

Attract different people to you. By changing your perceptions, your attitude and your behaviour you will begin to attract different people to you. Your circle of friends will expand and offer you even more choices. Make the choices that are right for you.

Change your attitude to yourself; believe that you are capable, that you are beautiful, that you are lovable. Learn to love and respect yourself.

Intend to create your life. Picture your life in great detail, make it bright, colourful and clear. Add as much detail as possible to the picture. See what you will look like in your new life, hear what people are saying to you and about you, feel what it will be like in your new life.  If you don’t like what you are seeing or hearing, change the details in the picture until you get exactly what you want. Make it as bright as you can, see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel.  Step into your picture, be part of your new life.

Life is too short to live it on somebody else’s terms. Live the life you want to live and be happy.  Expect more from life and you will get it. Don’t settle for anything less.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Is fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

man in pink dress shirt

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

That’s what’s making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.

Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

I don’t think so.

FEAR =

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.   Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

Honouring Life Changes

Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers, the current lock down, all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

person in coveralls holding spray bottle

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to let us know that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, our innate wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honour our fear, recognising its arrival, listening to its innate intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by Writing down whatever comes up in your diary. These could be your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes, and is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Tending to our daily chores

In the very recent past, the term women’s work has come to have a derogatory connotation. Women’s work is said to encompass all the domestic chores that have historically been associated only with women such as cooking, cleaning and staying at home with the children. Whenever a person is limited to only certain kinds of work in a society, there is a need to break free from that work in order to inhabit a place of choice. However, when we choose to do alleged women’s work because we enjoy it, there is nothing degrading about it. There is an honour to it, and when done alone or in a group this work can be truly meaningful and fulfilling because the home is the foundation of security for all who live in it. The importance of tending the hearth that nurtures all who bask in its warmth cannot be overstated.

background blue close up clothes

Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

In addition to being essential to the functioning of the world, alleged women’s chores offer creative fulfilment, intimate interaction, and personal satisfaction. The more we become aware of the significance of this realm of labour, the more fulfilling it will be to those who do the work and those who benefit from it. A well-set table and a delicious, healthy meal can uplift and heal us on multiple levels. Clean, crisp sheets on a bed allow us to enter a deep slumber, inspiring a sense of safety and trust. Our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health all rest upon the smooth functioning of our homes.

The gift of women’s work, which still often comes from the hands of women, now also comes from fathers, husbands, and hired help. Whatever the source, our sincere gratitude upon receiving these treasures reminds us of the profound value of what is traditionally known as women’s work. The more we acknowledge the tremendous importance of this work, the more we are able to do it with a sense of pride, never feeling for a moment that our efforts are less significant or meaningful than those working outside the home—on the contrary, it is this work that makes all other work possible.

When you want to learn to relax and have more fun in your life and less stress,  contact me and begin your journey. I would love to work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Five Things to start rebuilding your self-esteem

Our primary relationship in life is with ourselves. No one else goes through our  experiences in life in the same way. We are our own constant companion, and often our worst critic. To remind ourselves of our abilities, we can do the five things I like about myself exercise.

diary girl hand journal

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Begin by writing down at least five things that you like about yourself. Don’t be modest.  If you are having trouble coming up with a total of five items, you know that this exercise can really benefit you.  Make sure you include more than your physical attributes on your list, since our bodies are only part of who we are. If you are still struggling with what to include on your list, think of what you like about your favourite people, because these traits are probably qualities that you possess too. Another way to complete your list is to think of five things you don’t like about yourself and find something about these traits that you can like.

Carry on this exercise for a week, thinking of five new things you like about yourself every day. At the end of the week, read the list aloud to yourself while standing in front of a mirror. Instead of looking for flaws to fix, allow the mirror to reflect your attributes. You may feel silly about standing in front of a mirror and reading aloud a list of your admirable attributes, but it might just bring a smile to your face and change the way you see yourself. Remember, it is when you feel the most resistant that this exercise can benefit you the most. Because we are constantly looking at the world, instead of looking at ourselves, we don’t often see what’s magnificent about ourselves that others do. When we take the time to experience ourselves the way we would experience someone we love and admire, we become our best companion and supporter on life’s journey.

When you want to learn to relax and have more fun in your life and less stress,  contact me and begin your journey. I would love to work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

There Is Only Now

It is easy for us to walk through our lives without really being present. While dwelling on the past and living for the future are entertaining, it is physically impossible to live anywhere but in the present moment. We cannot step out of our front door and take a right turn to April of last year, any more than we can take a left turn to New Year’s eve in the future.  We can, however, easily miss the future we are waiting for as it becomes the now we are too busy to pay attention to.  We will spend the rest of our time playing “catch up” to the moment that we just let pass by. During moments like these, it is important to remember that there is only Now.

turned on enjoy today neon signage

Photo by Ikhsan Sugiarto on Pexels.com

So you can feel more at home in the present moment, it is essential to try to stay aware, open and receptive. Being in the present moment requires our full attention so that we are fully awake to experience it. When we are fully present, our minds do not wander. We are focused on what is going on right now, rather than thinking about what just happened or worrying about what is going to happen next. Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.

When we begin to focus our attention into the present moment, it can be almost overwhelming to be here. There is a state of stillness that has to happen that may take some getting used to, and the mind chatter that so often gets us into our heads and out of the present moment doesn’t have as much to do. We may feel a lack of control because we aren’t busy planning our next move, assessing our current situation, or anticipating the future. Instead, being present requires that we be flexible, creative, attentive, and spontaneous. Each present moment is completely new, and nothing like it has happened or will ever happen again. As you move through your day, remember to stay present in each moment. In doing so, you will live your life without having to wait for the future or yearn for the past. Life happens to us when we happen to life in the Now.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Shake those tail feathers

Most of us express our individuality in many ways throughout our lives. Although, as we proudly share our offbeat traits and preferences with the world, we take great trouble to downplay those eccentricities we ourselves deem odd. Instead of living lives coloured by these quirky impulses, we seek out socially acceptable outlets for our peculiarities. We may not realise that we are editing ourselves in this way because our individual societal awareness is unintentionally tuned in to the attitudes of the people we encounter each day. Over time, we have learned to suppress some of the most fun aspects of individuality. To rediscover and embrace these buried traits, we need only ask ourselves what we would do if we knew for certain that no one would judge our choices.

wild turkey

Photo by ASHISH SHARMA on Pexels.com

Visualising this day without judgment can help you to understand the idiosyncrasies that are an important part of who you are but seldom manifest themselves in your existence. Perhaps you secretly dream of replacing grown-up, conservative clothing in favour of a changing array of outfits. You may envision yourself painting your car electric-green, hugging the trees in a crowded local park, singing joyous songs as you skip through your community, or taking up an exciting hobby like fire spinning. Try not to be surprised, however, if your imagination takes you in unexpectedly simple directions. In your musings, you may see yourself doing things such as breaking out in dance or dying your hair a fun colour. Regardless of the nature of your suppressed peculiarities, ask yourself what is really stopping you from making them a part of your life, and then resolve to incorporate at least one into your everyday existence.

Life as we know it is so short. Making the most of years we are granted is a matter of being ourselves even though we know that we will inevitably meet people who disapprove of our choices. When you shake your tail feathers like no one is watching, you will discover that there are many others who appreciate you because you are willing to let go of some inhibitions. By doing this you help others know it is okay. No one else in the world is precisely like you and, each time you revel in this simple fact, you rededicate yourself to the celebration of your individuality.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Let It Roll off Our Back

One of the most difficult challenges in life is learning not to take things to heart and hold on to them. When we were younger, or if we are very sensitive, we took so much of what came our way to heart. This can be overwhelming and unproductive if it throws us off balance on a regular basis. When we are feeling criticised or attacked from all directions, it can become very difficult for us to recover ourselves so that we can continue to speak and act our truth. This is when we would do well to remember the old saying about letting certain things roll off us, like water off a duck’s back.

photo of brown and grey duck on body of water

Photo by DSD on Pexels.com

Usually the attacks and criticisms of others have much more to do with them and how they are feeling than with us. If we get caught up in trying to adjust ourselves to other people’s negative energy, we will lose touch with our core. In fact, in a positive light, these slings and arrows offer us the opportunity to strengthen our core sense of self, and to learn to dodge and deflect other people’s misdirected negativity. The more we do this, the more we are able to understand what belongs to us and what belongs to other people. With practice, we will become masters of our energetic integrity, refusing to serve as targets for the disowned anger and frustration of the people around us.

Eventually, we will be able to hear the feedback that others have to offer, taking in anything that might actually be constructive, and releasing that which has nothing to do with us. First, though, we tend ourselves compassionately by recognising when we can’t take something in from the outside without hurting ourselves. This is when we make like a duck, shaking it off and letting it roll off our back as we continue our way in the world.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk