feelings

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Common Courtesy

Sometimes we feel we don’t have the time to reach out to others with those small gestures that make up what we call common courtesy.  It sometimes seems that this kind of social awareness belongs to the past, to smaller towns and slower times. Yet, when someone extends a small common courtesy to us, we always feel touched. Someone who lends a helping hand when we are struggling with our shopping bags makes an impression because many people just walk right by. Even someone who simply makes the effort to look us in the eye, smile, and greet us properly when entering a room stands out of the crowd. These people carry with them the elegance and grace of another time, and we are always thankful for our contact with them. Common courtesy is a small gesture that makes a big difference.

silver colored heart lock bridge

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Of course a vital component of common courtesy is awareness and common sense—looking outside yourself to notice when someone needs help or acknowledgment. As a courteous person, you are aware that you are walking into a room full of people or that your waiter has arrived to take your order. Awareness then leads to action. It is usually quite clear what needs to be done—open the door for the person holding the baby, move your car up two feet so another person can park behind you, acknowledge your sister’s shy boyfriend with a smile and some conversation, apologise if you bump into someone.  A third component is to give courtesy freely, without expecting anything in return. People may not even take notice, much less return the kindness, but you can take heart in the fact that you are creating the kind of world you want to live in with your actions.

When you are out in the world, remember to be aware of others, lend your hand when one is needed, and give this help without an ulterior motive. Through these small actions, you make this world a better place in which to live and the ripple effect may reach others too.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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There Is Only Now

It is easy for us to walk through our lives without really being present. While dwelling on the past and living for the future are entertaining, it is physically impossible to live anywhere but in the present moment. We cannot step out of our front door and take a right turn to April of last year, any more than we can take a left turn to New Year’s eve in the future.  We can, however, easily miss the future we are waiting for as it becomes the now we are too busy to pay attention to.  We will spend the rest of our time playing “catch up” to the moment that we just let pass by. During moments like these, it is important to remember that there is only Now.

turned on enjoy today neon signage

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So you can feel more at home in the present moment, it is essential to try to stay aware, open and receptive. Being in the present moment requires our full attention so that we are fully awake to experience it. When we are fully present, our minds do not wander. We are focused on what is going on right now, rather than thinking about what just happened or worrying about what is going to happen next. Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.

When we begin to focus our attention into the present moment, it can be almost overwhelming to be here. There is a state of stillness that has to happen that may take some getting used to, and the mind chatter that so often gets us into our heads and out of the present moment doesn’t have as much to do. We may feel a lack of control because we aren’t busy planning our next move, assessing our current situation, or anticipating the future. Instead, being present requires that we be flexible, creative, attentive, and spontaneous. Each present moment is completely new, and nothing like it has happened or will ever happen again. As you move through your day, remember to stay present in each moment. In doing so, you will live your life without having to wait for the future or yearn for the past. Life happens to us when we happen to life in the Now.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Pushing Buttons

We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we really can’t take it any longer, and chances are, we’ve all pushed somebody else’s buttons, with or without knowing it. The button pusher may not be aware of what they’re doing, but in the end the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less reactive these buttons will be.

man wearing brown suit jacket mocking on white telephone

Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels.com

We’ve all had the experience of having someone snap at us, it would appear from nowhere. This happens when we unconsciously push a button in someone else we didn’t even know was there. This can happen with a complete stranger and sometimes with a person we’ve known very well for years. We ourselves may also have a relationship with someone whose buttons we secretly would like to push. Buttons are just soft spots that have been touched one too many times, and they symbolise some pain that needs to be acknowledged and healed. This may be a wound remembered from childhood, or a recent trauma, that we haven’t adequately tended. Whatever the case, when our buttons get pushed, the person who most needs our attention and caring is us, and blaming the button pusher only distracts us from finding a true resolution to our suffering.

At the same time, if someone continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we must set a boundary with that person. Compulsive button pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us, are not welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our buttons are enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes when we deal with the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our automatic reaction to being pushed which will in turn stop the button pusher.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Tree House

There is no greater way to escape the troubles of daily life than to climb up into the welcoming space of a tree house. Like a bird in its nest, we feel held and safe in the branches, hidden within a curtain of green leaves. Here we can breathe more freely and think more clearly, our hearts and brains fed by the oxygen released by the leaves. We appear to float above the everyday world of the ground, we have a bird’s-eye view of all that remains below.

girl climbing ladder

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We may choose to be alone or we may invite a special friend to join us. Whichever we choose, this is our private world in which we get to decide who comes and goes. It is our haven where we can fully be who we are, and reveal our most hidden secrets, dreams, and desires. It is also an ideal vantage point on the life that continues below the branches. Often, a new view of a situation is just what we need to answer a difficult question, solve a challenging problem, or see something we’ve haven’t noticed before. It is as if we have climbed up into the heavens and are able to tap into a higher awareness. We can draw on this airy energy to revitalise us, relax us, and feed us new ideas. When we climb down, we are ready to enter the world again, cleaner, clearer, and often more inspired.

If you haven’t been in a tree house for a while, now may be the time to make one for yourself or find someone else’s and ask if you can borrow it for a short while. If you can’t find or create an actual tree house, see if you can find a rooftop garden, or a quiet spot in a grove of trees on a hilltop, or perhaps a light-filled attic. Or just close your eyes and create a virtual tree house  in the branches of your favourite tree.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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People and Trees

A tree that is beginning to grow sends its roots down into Mother Earth as it also reaches and opens to the sky above, finding nourishment from the sun and the moisture in the air and in the rain that falls soaking the earth down to its roots. In the same way, we can visualise ourselves as treelike beings. Imagine that we have roots reaching down into the earth, energetic strands that keep us connected. Simultaneously the crowns of our heads lift and open to receive nourishment from above. Just like a tree, we seek the sunshine and water we need to survive and thrive. Both trees and people serve as conduits for the intertwining of the opposite and complementary elements of air, water, sun, and earth.

tree of support

We humans also share creative ways of growing with trees, regardless of the challenges we come up against in our environments. Trees will even grow through rock, shattering it, to reach the air and light they need to survive. We are similarly resilient, with an innate ability for growth and the conditions that promote it. We find creative ways over or around any obstacles we confront as we move along our paths, moving toward the light that feeds us, just as trees grow around other trees and rocks as they make their way upward.

Thinking about the ways in which trees and people mirror one another brings us into alignment with the reality that we are part of Mother Nature. Our children, the trees and their children, will live together on the earth as long as we all survive, sharing the elements and serving together to forward nature’s plan. Walking in a forest can be a meditation, a re-connection with nature, the interweaving lives of all living creatures and the planet on which we all take root and reach for the sky.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Doing for Others

When we are feeling bad, often our first instinct is to isolate ourselves and focus on what we perceive is upsetting us. Sometimes we really do need some downtime, but more often the best way to get out of the blues quickly is to turn our attention to other people.  In being of service to others, paradoxically, we can often find answers to our own questions and solutions to our own problems. We may also end up feeling more connected to the people around us, as well as being empowered by the experience of helping someone.

plumber
When we reach out to people we can help, we confirm that we are not alone in our own need for support and inspiration. We also remind ourselves that we are powerful and capable in certain ways. When our own problems or moods get the better of us, there is always someone else who can use our particular gifts and energy to help them out. They, in turn, remind us that we are not the only people in the world with difficulties or issues. We all struggle with the problems of life, and we all feel overwhelmed from time to time, but we can almost always find solace in service.

In the most ideal situation, the person we are helping sheds light on our own dilemma, sometimes with a direct piece of advice, and sometimes without saying anything at all. Often just the act of getting our minds out of the obsessive mode of trying to figure out what to do about our own life does the trick. Many great inventors and artists have found that the inspiration they need to get to the next level in their work comes not when they’re working but when they’re out walking or washing up. We do ourselves and everyone else a great service when we take a break from our sorrows and extend ourselves to someone in need.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Feeling Depleted

There are times in our lives when it seems our bodies are running on empty. We aren’t ill, nor are we necessarily pushing ourselves to the limit – rather, the energy we usually have has mysteriously dissipated, leaving only fatigue. Many people grow accustomed to feeling this way because they aren’t aware it is possible to exist in any other state. The body’s natural state (our factory setting), however, is one of energy, clarity and balance. Cultivating these virtues in our own bodies so that we can combat feelings of depletion is a matter of developing a better awareness of the self and then making changes based on our observations.

Dealing with emotional abuse

Spend a few moments of focused self-examination in which you assess your recent schedule, diet, and general health. This may help you zero in on the factors causing your depletion. If you are struggling to cope with an overfull agenda, prioritisation can help you find more time to sleep and otherwise refresh yourself. Eating plenty of nutritious foods may serve to increase your energy levels. Consider, too, that a physical check up by a chiropractor will likely provide you with wonderful insights into why your body is tired. But identifying the source of your exhaustion will occasionally be more complicated than spotting a void in your lifestyle and filling it with some form of literal nourishment. Matters of the mind and heart can take their toll on your physical self. Intense emotions such as anger, sadness, jealousy, and regret need fuel to manifest in your consciousness. You are using a lot of energy on these emotions. Conversely, a lack of mental and emotional stimulation may leave you feeling listless and lethargic.

Coping with and healing physical depletion will be easier when you accept that the underlying cause may be more complex than you first thought. A harried lifestyle or a diet low in vital nutrients can represent only one part of a larger issue affecting your mood, stamina, and energy levels. When you believe that you are ultimately in control of how you feel, you will be empowered to transform yourself and your day-to-day life so that lasting fatigue can no longer gain a foothold in your existence.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Enjoying the Ride

The flow of the universe moves through everything. It’s in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust and are blown away. It is in the sprouting of a summer flower growing from a seed planted in the spring. It is in the growth cycle that every human being goes through, and the current that takes us down our life’s paths. When we move with the flow, rather than resisting it, we are riding on the universal current that allows us to flow with life.

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Many people live their lives struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their lives into happening the way they think it should. Others move with this flow like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it moves through and around us. We are always riding this flow. It’s just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or resist it. Tapping into the flow is often a matter of letting go of the notion that we need to be in control at all times. The flow is always taking you where you need to go. It’s just a matter of deciding whether you plan on taking the ride or dragging your feet.

Learning to step into the flow can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow can take courage because you are surrendering the notion that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and not like anything that you ever expected. When you are open to being in this flow, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control. As a child, you were naturally swept by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. Just the tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could carry you into peals of delight. We feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Our changing nests

Once we become parents, we are parents forevermore. our identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates us as mum or dad. Yet the role we undertake when we welcome children into our lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of nursery or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way.

sisters

As children earn greater levels of independence, parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mum or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honouring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honour a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support.

happychildren
An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honour their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do

Your perception of the traits and characteristics that make you who you are is often tightly intertwined with how you live your life.

We often define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that “wrong” decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalise our “poor” decisions by labelling ourselves incompetent decision-makers.

believe

However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence – what makes you a unique entity – exists independently of your decision-making process.

I believe there are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a “bad decision” was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently.

It is best to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. The past is gone and cannot be changed. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to understand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward.

donotfeedthefears

A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk