Understanding your feelings

When faced with new challenges or opportunities, we may diagnose ourselves as feeling scared when what we are really feeling is excited.  Often we don’t know how to welcome the thrill of a new opportunity, and so we choose to back off, indulging our anxiety instead of awakening our courage. One way to inspire ourselves to embrace the opportunities that come our way is to look more deeply into our feelings and see that butterflies in our stomach or a rapidly beating heart are not necessarily a sign that we are afraid. Those very same feelings can be translated as excitement, curiosity, passion, and even love.

woman covering her face using both hands

Photo by Wildan Zainul Faki on Pexels.com

Of course there is nothing wrong with being afraid as long as we do not let it stop us from doing the things that excite us. Most of us assume that brave people are fearless, but the truth is that they are simply more comfortable with fear because they face it on a regular basis. The more we do this, the more we feel excitement in the face of challenges rather than anxiety. The more we cultivate our ability to move forward instead of backing off, the more we trust ourselves to be able to handle the new opportunity, whether it’s a new job, an exciting move, or a relationship. When we feel our fear, we can remind ourselves that maybe we are actually just excited. We can assure ourselves that this opportunity has come our way because we are meant to take it.

Framing things just a little differently can dramatically shift our mental state from one of resistance to one of openness. We can practice this new way of seeing things by saying aloud: I am really excited about this job interview. I am really looking forward to going on a date with this amazing person. I am excited to have the opportunity to do something I have never done before. As we do this, we will feel our energy shift from fear, which paralyses, to excitement, which empowers us to direct all that energy in the service of moving forward, growing, and learning.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events.  Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but it is still there, consuming our mental and life energy.

Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward. It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.

​Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go.  They will never move on until they do. In fact, quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

happy women hugging

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life.  If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction.  If, however, we  focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

​If you or your life is “stuck”, then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past.  Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself.  So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past. The future has yet to happen, it is an incomplete equation.  We cannot predict how it will turn out. ​In this moment now, you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference.  You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future. If you want to feel free, released from the past, then you must forgive.  Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions, and it is okay to experience them.  However, these emotions damage your ability to move on.  You must accept your emotions, but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

Look around you, do you know anyone like that?  Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them?  None. The past can never be changed.  Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are. Remember to listen to your innate thinking, your inner voice when it tells you how to forgive.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Choosing to have a partner or being single

The ways we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to stay healthy, entertain ourselves or make a living.  Some people choose to enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society as a whole tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel absolutely free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.

man in black long sleeved shirt and woman in black dress

Photo by Jasmine Wallace Carter on Pexels.com

Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself.  You will have more time and space to discover what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else’s choices in mind.  Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment’s notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms.  Companionship, support, and affection will be found while spending quality time with your friends, colleagues, and relatives.  There is also the fun that comes with being able to date many different people without having to make a commitment.  Choosing to have a partner, on the other hand, brings with it an opportunity to share your life with another person.  There is comfort in the knowledge that you are facing the world with someone as a united front.  When life is challenging, you are in a position to strengthen, as well as give each other comfort. There is also the inevitable transformation of self that comes from allowing another person to be so intimately a part of your life.

Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can change their minds about wanting to be with another person or wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives.  Whether you seek out a partner or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Don’t Be a Target

When we are confronted in a hurtful way this often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we often wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and take their actions personally. We might ask ourselves what we could have done to prompt them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their own uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. People will be overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, and may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as either a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to protect yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behaviour personally. First, however, get into a state of detachment that will provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their behaviour isn’t about you it is about their need to vent their emotions.

green yellow and black round dart board with black background

Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com

It can be difficult to remain unaffected by someone’s behaviour, but take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings. It may be this person is indirectly expressing a need to you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard— and you may be able to stop the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.

You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness.

When you would like find out more about your emotions, contact me and begin your journey. I would love work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

There is no wrong response

Our view of the world is largely determined by our experiences. It is when we are caught off guard by the spontaneity of occurrences that we are most apt to respond authentically, even when our feelings do not correspond with those of everyone else. Events that arouse strong emotions with us or are surprising in nature can be unnerving, for it often is in their aftermath that we discover how profoundly our histories have shaped us. The differences that divide us from our peers are highlighted in our reactions when these differ from the mainstream, and this can be highly upsetting because it forces us to confront the uniqueness of our lives.

cheerful close up coffee cup

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When our response to unexpected news or startling ideas is not the same as that of the people around us, we may feel driven by a desire to dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect. But reactions themselves are neither right, nor wrong. The forces that sculpted the patterns that to a large extent dictate our development are not the same forces that shaped the development of our relatives, friends, colleagues, or neighbours. There is no reason to believe that one person’s reaction to a particular event is somehow more valid than another’s. How we respond to the constant changes taking place in the world around us is a product of our history, a testament to our individuality, and a part of the healing process that allows us to address key elements of our past in a context we can grasp in the present.

Life’s pivotal events can provide you with a way to define yourself as a unique and matchless being, but you must put aside the judgments that may prevent you from gaining insight into your individual way of interpreting the world. Try to internalise your feelings without categorising or evaluating them. When you feel unsure of the legitimacy of your reactions, remember that cultural, sociological, spiritual, and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining your responses outside of the context provided by others can show you that your emotional complexity is something to be valued, for it has made you who you are today.

When you would like find out more about your responses, contact me and begin your journey. I would love work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Our changing nests

Once we become parents, we are parents forevermore. our identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates us as mum or dad. Yet the role we undertake when we welcome children into our lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of nursery or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way.

sisters

As children earn greater levels of independence, parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mum or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honouring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honour a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support.

happychildren
An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honour their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Tears are as natural to us as breathing

How wonderful it feels to give in and let tears flow when we are overwhelmed with emotions, whether we are happy or sad. Tears come from the soul, from our well of feelings rising from deep down. When we give in to that prickling behind our eyes and the lump in our throat to let teardrops fall from our eyes, we allow our feelings to surface so they can be set free.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

Proud parents shed tears of pride in a child’s accomplishments, a baby’s first step, birthdays, and graduations. Long lost friends fall into each other’s arms, tears rolling down their cheeks when they reunite after years of separation. Tears may flow from us when we are witness to a commitment being made at a wedding or even while we are watching a love story.

Tears of relief may spring forth from our eyes when we hear that a loved one has survived an ordeal, and tears may fall when we bow our head in sorrow over a loss or death. Tears born from heartache can flow like they’ll never cease, whether our tears are for a love that is over, a friendship lost, or an opportunity missed. We shed tears because of disappointment in ourselves, tragedy in the world, pain, and illness. Tears of anger can burn with emotion as they fall down our faces. Tears offer us a physical release of our feelings.

Shedding tears can sometimes make us feel better, although it can feel like the tears will never end once the floodgates are open. There is no shame in letting tears flow freely and frequently. Tears are as natural to us as is breathing. There is beauty in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to shed tears. Open up, release your tears, and let your feelings flow.

f anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Holding Space For Others


We have all been called upon at one time or another to help a loved one through a difficult time. When the help required consists of concrete actions, such as running errands or making phone calls, we know what to do. But sometimes we are called simply to hold space for the person as they go through whatever they need to go through. They may need to express anger or grief; they may need to talk or be silent. They may need us to hold their hand; they may need us to give them time alone. Whatever the case, when we hold space for someone, we offer ourselves up as a container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering due to their circumstances.

Dealing with emotional abuse

When we offer ourselves in this way, the more centered and grounded we are, the better. Our steadiness allows our companion to lean into us for support, as our presence provides an environment in which they can be free to move. We can also help by being responsive, allowing them to dictate the flow of action from talking to not talking, from anger to grief, and back again. By being aware and open, we can help them confront their feelings when that feels right, and back off from them when they need a break. Holding space requires humility, conscientiousness, and the ability to step out of the way, to honestly understand that this is not about us.

When we love someone in this way, we provide a space in which they can simply be. Able to feel what they need to feel without worrying about how they are being perceived. We can provide this offering in person, over the phone, or even from a distance, through meditation. However we do it, when we hold space for someone in need, we are offering a gift of the highest nature.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Are you holding on to things you feel you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a whole load of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they feel they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t want or need to. For instance the person who they had a row with, but neither is now speaking to the other – but both want to only they both feel the other ‘should’ get in touch first.  The ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but you don’t.

This is very common and you are definitely not alone, I have done it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional baggage that you could be doing without? If you were to lose that emotional weight you could be focusing on something more productive instead.

Does this resonate with you?  If you are carrying around a lot of emotional baggage, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

disengagefromthedrama

Take a look at your life and begin to get rid of this baggage by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Another term for this is “psychological completion” or just “completion”.

Take as long or as short a time as you like to answer these questions and finish the exercise. By writing your answers down they become more real.

Get to it and watch your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

Make an action plan to get rid of or communicate to others about the things that you have been putting up with. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan to reduce this number! Take action!

iStock_000004706304XSmall (2)

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send a card or an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here and the now. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that knock your self esteem.

If you need help with any of the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The Essence of You

Journey to the real you:

Part 1:

Do you remember when were you happy, free, creative, fun, vulnerable, secure?

We are looking for the essence of who you are at the core of your being.

Find some photos of you when you were a child, maybe 5 or 6 years old. If you can’t find any, then try and find some of you as a teenager or at least younger than you are now.

Really look at the younger you in the photos. Answer these questions as well as you can.

  • What do you remember about the way you were?
  • If you were the parent of this child, what would you give them?
  • How would you encourage them in their lives?
  • What do you think they deserve in this life?
  • How would you want their life to be?
  • How should they be treated emotionally?
  • How could you protect/nurture her?
  • What do they need in their life right now?
  • What qualities did they have then that they might have forgotten?
  • What changes do you feel this person would like to make in their lives right now?

Beware of thinking the pathetic thought that ‘There is nothing good about me.  I can’t fill this in’.  If you continue with this type of thought pattern you will always stay trapped.  Please try to work really hard here…. even if you can only come up with one or two of these statements, at least it’s a start.  Remember to look at your photo as you do this. Listen to your innate thinking, sit quietly and listen to what you hear.

sisters

Part 2:

Look at your photo as you complete this exercise, write your answers to the statements below.

This might be tough for you so please be gentle with yourself.  You might feel like giving up at this point, or skipping this exercise, or skim-reading it through.  Don’t!  If you work really hard you will begin to feel some positive benefits.

This is where we can now begin to create some positive dialogue which will anchor you and make you feel strong again.

  • I deserve to be happy because ………
  • I like me because ……….
  • I am a valuable human being because ………
  • I am a beautiful human being because ……….
  • I have value because ………
  • I have worth because ………
  • I am worth loving because ………
  • I deserve to have fun in life because ………
  • I am important because ………
  • I am loveable because ……….
  • I am unique because ……….
  • I am perfect as I am because ………

 

Once you have completed the last exercise as best you possibly can, read your answers and remind yourself daily of why you are so special.

You can do this exercise again in a few months and notice any changes.

If you need help with any of the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk