Maggie Currie in the hot seat

In this latest blog post, Maggie speaks to writer and presenter Clancy Walker. They chat about life, loves and many challenges along the way…

 

Maggie, you say that your life changed almost overnight when you made the decision to change your thinking. What is your life like now?

 

I am now living my dream on the beautiful Isle of Wight.  I am doing the work I love and living in a place that I love, with the man that I love.

 

It sounds wonderful, and it’s something that others can aspire to, but it hasn’t always been plain sailing for you, has it? How did life start out for you?

 

I was born and brought up in Essex.  When I was born, I was labelled as illegitimate because my birth mother was barely sixteen when I was born, she wasn’t married and had put me in a children’s home. 

 Whether this was her choice or one that was forced upon her I don’t know and probably never will know.  But that is where I was.

 

So, not the easiest of starts and I’m sure others will be able to relate to you. What happened from there?

 

I was fortunate enough to be adopted, rather than staying in care long term, and was taken to my prospective parents’ home when I was about six weeks old to meet my new older brother.  I was fostered until the official adoption came when I was around two years of age, although I really don’t remember it.  

 My childhood, on reflection, was a fairly good one.  We always had a two-week

holiday, usually on the Isle of Wight, which is why I grew to love it so much. 

 I was sent to a private school because my parents thought I would do better there than at the local comprehensive school.  I did really well and left school at the age of 16 with a GCE in Commerce and a string of RSAs in shorthand, typing etc.  My first job was with an insurance company in London.

 I then got married for the first time when I was 19 and had three lovely children.

 

It all sounds great, although I notice you said ‘for the first time’ when you talk about getting married. I’m guessing things changed in your relationship?

 

Yes, unfortunately the marriage did not last due to the verbal, psychological and financial abuse I suffered at the hands of my husband. 

 I finally woke up to the fact that this was not normal and summoned up the courage to consult a solicitor who agreed with me and I filed for divorce. 

 It took two years for the divorce to go through, as my husband refused to accept the marriage was over, but eventually, after me standing my ground, we were divorced when I was 30. 

 

So, you were 30 with three children to support – did you have much support from those around you?

 

For various reasons I had to take the children, who were aged then nine and six (I had twins), to another town and live in a one bedroom flat. 

 Thankfully it had a garden and was close to the schools and shops and we lived there for about two years along with a menagerie of two cats, a dog, two rabbits, some goldfish, a hamster, two gerbils and some zebra finches.  

 

It sounds quite tough, and hectic, but it also sounds like you were starting to find your feet and enjoying the challenges life was throwing you?

 

Yes, I think I had got used to being on my own with the kids – and was enjoying a freedom I’d not experienced before – thanks to being free of an abusive relationship. I’m so pleased I was able to find the courage to leave it.

 

And then something even more wonderful happened, didn’t it?

 

Yes, I met up with a man called Kelvin again. I had known him for some years as a friend of my brother, and we fell in love.

We married when I was 32 and we moved to a lovely Victorian terraced house with four bedrooms and a long garden in the same town. 

 We lived in that house for about 15 years, so the children grew up there, and we were very happy there.

 

It just shows how much life can change over the years, doesn’t it? You did have some very difficult times too, though, didn’t you?

 

Yes, and like many people we had family challenges that we thought were impossible to solve and would never end. 

 At times like those we had to be patient and weather the storm.  On those days it seemed that life was too much to bear.  Some very hard decisions had to be made – decisions that no parents should have to make – but we made them and life carried on. 

 

How did you manage to make such difficult decisions?

 

We made the decisions that we thought were the best at that time and would be the most beneficial for the whole family.

 But life does get better and that cloud does go away especially by thinking good thoughts and getting back on track and by not feeling guilty or giving in to emotional blackmail, which is something I can help others with through my coaching.

 

So, what happened after the children had grown up?

 

When the children had all left home we moved to Hampshire, where we lived for

about five years.  We had also bought a flat on the Isle of Wight and we took holidays in it and spent lots of weekends in it. We planned to retire into it as well, as we loved the island so much.

 While we were living in Hampshire our next-door neighbour was Maureen – who was looking forward to retiring at 60. 

 Sadly Maureen was diagnosed with cancer and died six months later, before she got to her sixtieth birthday.

 We made the decision then to move to the Isle of Wight and not wait until we retired.  A step we have never once regretted.

 

Which leads us back to where we started in this interview! Tell me a little more about what life is like for you now, Maggie?

 

Moving to the Island has opened up so many doors that would not have been opened if we had stayed where we were. 

 I have opened my mind to the new opportunities that are available and I have kept my mind open to make sure that I don’t miss any. 

 I have found that following the signs, even if I am not sure where they are leading me, can be really beneficial. 

 Some opportunities I reject, some I embrace.  I have made mistakes, learned from them and moved on.

 

But life isn’t perfect for everyone all of the time – how have you handled the difficult times in recent years?

 

There have been times when life has not been so good.  Like when my father died suddenly in 1999.  I miss him still.  He was a fountain of knowledge and wisdom and always had time and wise words for me. 

 I have learned how to bounce back and gain something from the experiences I have been through to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes again.  I really believe you can do the same if you are gentle with yourself.  

 

Thanks Maggie, what advice would you like to finish with for your readers?

 

I know my coaching, books, talks and courses will help you to change your life for the better. 

 Don’t forget to open your mind to the new opportunities that lie ahead of you. 

 The choice is yours, you have the ability to create your very own future.  Your new life is out there.  Go and open the door to your new, fantastic future.

 Good luck on your motorway of life, take the right exits for you, try some you think might not be quite right, you may be surprised. 

 Be brave.  You deserve to succeed.

 

Love

 

Maggie xx

 

Maggie Currie

MaggieCurrieCoaching_Logo8-2

Follow me on:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Huffington Post

 

Maggie Currie was speaking to writer and presenter Clancy Walker

                                                                                               Clancy

 

S.E.L.F. – Strength Energy Life Freedom

It is now only one week until the workshop and as of this moment there are just 4 tickets remaining.  I am so pleased that so many of you have booked to come along and learn the secret of SELF.

SELF_colour

As a special gift to all who attend on 15th September I am offering each of you a FREE half hour consultation where we can chat about you have learned about yourself on the workshop and how you would like to take action to move forwards in your life.

You have three choices following the workshop.  The first of them I really hope you don’t make and that is doing nothing.  I hope I will have inspired you to make some changes in your life. The other two choices are that you may want to have one-to-one coaching with me, or you may want to take my ‘7 Stepping Stones to Confidence’ programme.

Life doesn’t have to remain the same.  It is never too late to start reaching your full potential.

Click here if you would like one of the remaining tickets.

 

freedom

I am really looking forward to meeting you all.

 

Maggie Currie

maggiecurriecoaching_logo8-2.jpg

Follow me on:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Huffington Post

Can life coaching help me sort out my life?

Yes, I believe that it will help you sort out your life.  Coaching draws out rather than puts in. I find it is reactive, flexible and enabling. My coaching style is non-judgemental, helps people to develop and grow in a variety of areas.

My approach to coaching is to get the very best out of someone and giving them the confidence to make decisions that will improve their life.

When my clients experience being coached, their motivation comes from working with me who is an upbeat, positive role model. I want my clients to reach their full potential and when they do it gives me tremendous job satisfaction. Helping clients discover where they want to go and then helping them to get there is so rewarding to me.

iStock_000009116473XSmall

What makes me a great coach?

  • I like people and want to bring out the best in them
  • I want my clients to do something more fulfilling in their lives
  • I enjoy personal and financial freedom
  • I have natural ‘people’ skills.

Interestingly, a great deal of the life coaching and personal coaching I do is carried out on the telephone. Some of my clients I have never actually met in person. For several reasons coaching is just as effective over the telephone as it is face-to-face. In fact, many of my clients prefer to speak over the telephone. It is very convenient for both myself and my client, and it offers greater flexibility since we all have busy lifestyles. Coaching over the telephone offers other obvious advantages:

  • coaching can be conducted wherever I and my client happen to be – anywhere in the world
  • there’s no travelling time or travel cost involved
  • I don’t need offices, meeting rooms, staff or other expensive overheads

Having said that, I enjoy face-to-face coaching too, as I love the personal contact and appreciate the one-to-one feel of the coaching session.  I meet my clients at a mutually agreeable venue, a quiet corner of a café, in their client’s home or office, in my home or office or wherever is convenient.

iStock_000012059689XSmall

 My coaching sessions are typically sixty minutes, though sometimes longer.

Some of the things I practice in my coaching:

  • Listening to what has been said, and what hasn’t been said
  • What motivates people must be understood
  • Everyone is capable of achieving more
  • Finding solutions not creating more problems
  • A person’s past is no indication of their future
  • People’s beliefs about what is possible for themselves are their only limits
  • I always provide full support
  • I can’t provide the answers, but I can draw them out of my clients
  • I never criticise my clients
  • All my coaching is completely confidential
  • Some people’s needs cannot be met by coaching, and I recognise clients with these needs and refer them to a specialty that will help them

So, to answer the original question “Can Life Coaching help you sort your life out?”  Yes, I believe it can.  Life coaching is what you make it. If you wish to set and achieve goals, accept yourself and become everything you are capable of becoming then working with a Life Coach is for you.

I also offer a money back guarantee.  If you don’t change something about your life when coaching with me, I will give you your money back.

Money-Back-Guarantee-300x300

 

 Contact me today to have a free chat on how my coaching will help you to sort out your life.

 

Maggie Currie

maggiecurriecoaching_logo8-2.jpg

Follow me on:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Huffington Post

 

 

 

 

 

Noticing your feelings and defining the reaction taking place within you.

It is common knowledge that feelings can often bring about a very challenging aspect to our lives. We can experience very intense emotions without understanding precisely why. Consequently we can find it difficult to identify those solutions to relieving our distress, calming our minds and understanding why we are experiencing these emotions.

When we have mastered the ability of naming our feelings we can then tame them by finding an appropriate resolution. We are able to retake control of our personal power by becoming courageous enough to recognise and articulate, out loud and concisely, the essence of our emotions.

Once we assume ownership of these challenges we are empowered to shift from one emotional state to another — and with the added bonus of letting go of pain and upset because we have made it our own by defining it, examining the effect it had on our lives, and exerted our authority over it by making it our own. Additionally, by naming our feelings, we claim the right to divest ourselves of them whenever we choose.

womanscreaming

When you are preparing to acknowledge your feelings aloud, take care to remind  yourself gently that being specific is an important part of exercising control. It doesn’t matter what the nature of your feelings is, define very carefully the reaction taking place within you.

For instance, if you have a fear of a particular situation or are intimidated by an individual, endeavour not to mince your words while giving voice to your anxiety. The precision with which you choose to express yourself is indicative of your overall willingness to stare your feelings in the face without flinching. Naming and claiming may not always work if you keep this information to yourself. There will be occasions where you will find the release you desire achieve will only be found by admitting your feelings to other people. When this is the case, your ability to outline your feelings explicitly will help you to ask for the support or guidance you need without you becoming bogged down in the feelings that led you to make this admission in the first place.

So how do you identify that you have a particular feeling or emotion, and how do you define the reaction taking place within you?  Sit down quietly, close your eyes and ‘listen’ to your body.  What is it telling you?

For instance, do you feel a strange sensation in your stomach, or is there an uncomfortable sensation in your back, neck, arm or somewhere else?  Focus on what you notice, really focus and allow it.  Keep focusing on it and you will notice that once you have allowed it, the strange or uncomfortable sensation will gradually diminish and then disappear.  But not before you have associated it with the feeling or emotion that had caused it.

happyladywithbook

When you have moved past that slight apprehension associated with expressing the feelings that are causing you distress out loud, you will be surprised to discover that you feel both liberated and lightened. This is because you have made a clear connection between your feelings and what is causing them allowing you to unravel the mystery that previously kept you from being in complete control of your emotional state.

The process of giving voice to your feelings allows you to let them go. Once you have let them go, you will naturally relax and rediscover your emotional equilibrium.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you understand and embrace your emotions.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Coaching you to become the very best version of you so you can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy your work.

 

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Huffington Post

 

I am bored, what can I do?

Boredom for me was when I knew that I had to get up and out of my bed to go to the office to do a job that I really didn’t want to do, I could do it in my sleep, and I was not appreciated for doing it.  Not only that, I had to commute 2 hours each way.  I was bored with waiting at bus stops in the rain, with getting on trains with standing room only, with walking through the streets of London in the cold and wet.   I found it very difficult to motivate myself to go to work, and when I got there I would go through the motions, do a great job of course, and then be pleased to go home. I would watch the clock all day long and be constantly thinking about when my next day off was or when I could go on holiday.

Stressed Businesswoman

I decided, after some thought, that I would rather work for myself, and I looked around for what I could do. My attention was drawn to helping people to get out of ruts, to change their lives and I investigated several  possibilities and decided on life coaching.

I began with an online course through a college, taking two courses to gain a diploma in life coaching. I discovered that I loved coaching and that I was very good at it too. I went on to study with a large coaching organisation, followed by a smaller coaching organisation, qualified as an NLP practitioner and most recently an online coaching school based in U.S.A. as an emotion based coach.

These are my qualifications that I have achieved:

  • Distance Tutoring
  • Life Coach
  • Corporate & Executive Coach
  • Advanced Confidence Coach/Group Trainer
  • Licensed YOU University Coach 
  • Licensed NLP Practitioner
  • Sports Psychology
  • Disability Awareness
  • PTLLS (Professional Teaching Award B Tech level 4)
  • TEFL/TESOL (120 hours) (Teaching English as a Foreign Language)
  • Thought Field Therapy Practitioner
  • Indian Head Massage Practitioner

graduated

My decision to retrain and work for myself has paid off tremendously for me. I have never looked back.  And there are some great benefits for me too:

  • My boss rocks and lets me do whatever I want!
  • My commute is less than 30 seconds, unless I stop by the kitchen for a coffee.
  • I have the ability to transform millions of people’s lives and still be in my pyjamas.

So with coffee and this ability I have become unstoppable.  And you can too.

Is there something or someone in your life that you can identify as creating the boredom in your life? If so what is it?

 If you are bored what are you going to do about it?

 Now you can ask yourself that question again – I’m bored what can I do?

  • Listen to the voices in your head, write down the answers you hear on a piece of paper as they pop into your head.
  • Study those answers.
  • Research some of the answers and see if they really resonate with you.

If you start to spend your life doing what excites you, you will find a solution to your boredom, I can assure you.

And if you need help finding that solution, contact me and we can work together to find your solution.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Is the feeling of fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Can you describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

emotionalwoman

I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

That’s what is making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That the feeling of fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.  Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

Maybe not.

FEAR =

 False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.

Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable with the fear of making changes in your life? 

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of having coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching sessions can often be the only time in their busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Be honest, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do just that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

windowcleaning

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for.  I had the focus, I had the drive to work really hard, and I was making good progress.  And yet, I ended up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  I began to think that if this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a good friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being'”.  I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months, I could think of very few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘just be’.

How much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?  If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be? Be absolutely honest with yourself.

piechart

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do we choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So as we roll into the next season, what time can you make for yourself to just ‘be’?  When can you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that, to relax and recharge?  Imagine how much better you will feel when you do?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Self Awareness

When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness.  I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people.  I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

It is only since I have trained to be a life coach that I have really discovered myself and discovered my own self awareness.  I have found that to be able to grow into my own self-awareness I have to understand my feelings and emotions.  This was quite a difficult journey for me, as I have suppressed feelings and emotions for many years.  The reason – I was told by my parents when I was a child that I should be seen and not heard.  I was told that I should not express anger or display any emotion.  And so I learned to repress them.

Having this understanding now after learning so much about my feelings and emotions and rediscovering who I am really am, I know that I can express my feelings and emotions. And this is a huge step for me towards self-awareness.  But what does self-awareness do for me? What are the benefits to me?  Being self-aware has given me the opportunity and freedom to change those things I want to change about myself and create the life that I want.  I now don’t allow others to manipulate me.  I live my life on my terms.  I am seen and heard and I do express my feelings and emotions.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

The more clarity I get about who I am and what I want, and of course why I want it, the more I empower myself to consciously make those wants a reality. But, how do I get this clarity? I turn to the expert – ME.  I know more about myself than anyone else, I know I have been manipulated and by whom.  I know I have suppressed my feelings and emotions,  and I know why.  And I have got to know myself even better over the past few years by becoming so much more self-aware.  I am, of course, still learning.

To get the clarity I want I have learned to ask myself questions and expect specific answers. The more specific my answers, the more impact they have on my life and then I have a much clearer picture of  me.  Of course, there are times when my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and I know that is okay too.  I give myself the freedom to take a wild guess and this allows me to carry on.  What I have discovered is that I really do know more than I ever thought I did.

Honesty is vital in my answers to myself.  It will lead to my true self-awareness, but it does take a lot of courage.  It is the courage to face my fears or to face something I find difficult to accept about myself.  For instance, I know that I am impatient and want things to happen now.  I also know that when people are speaking to me I get impatient to hear the end of what they are saying, and I tend to try to finish their sentences for them.  I know this about myself and do my best to bite my tongue and not jump in with the answers.  By being totally honest with myself I take ownership of my actions, thoughts and feelings and find those beliefs that are no longer serving me. Those beliefs can then be discarded, altered or whatever feels right for me.

I find that sometimes I do slip up and give an answer that perhaps I think I should give, rather than what I really know is right.  That means I am giving answers from my head rather than getting in touch with my feelings and getting the answer there. To get out of my head again, I take several deep breaths and start to listen to my body, to notice where it is hurting and breathe into that place.  This helps me to balance myself and to find the answers I need, and they come from inside me rather than from my head.

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance.  I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before.  And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Travelling alone and enjoying it ! – Guest Blog by Gwen Perret

Maggie wrote me a guest blog a month ago titled « After Divorce, Travel ! », and that got me thinking. Of course, I am convinced of all the good things that comes out of traveling, especially in times when we need to reconstruct ourselves. But as a female travel lover and travel PA, I am concerned about the issues of women traveling alone : safety, boredom, social acceptance…

 Yes, I believe that traveling is essential on a self-reconstruction journey, but only if all conditions are put together to make the traveller feels safe. Feeling safe as a woman solo traveller, or as women traveling together in a group, means feeling free and safe wherever you go, whether it is physical integrity or not feeling judged or looked at, totally out of place.

 Of course, you always have the travel with singles option, which can be fun of you are ready to meet someone new in your life, outgoing… But what if you are just not in the dating mood, or just not that kind of person ? What if you just want to enjoy a place you have never been too and want to enjoy your new “you” just being by yourself ?

2012-09-14 11.54.13

 Well, that is possible. Good news, huh ? All you have to do is make sure, before you go, to pay attention to the following details.

 1)     Choose your destination carefully. Go somewhere you have always wanted to go but never could. This needs to be YOUR choice. It might not be everyone’s choice, but who cares ? When I was younger I spent a year abroad in Alaska, I was not 18 yet, and most people thought I had lost my mind. Who, on earth, would leave a great school, successful studies, a family and everything to go abroad for a year ? And moreover to Alaska ? Well I did. I have always loved far away, unknown places. And I am so glad I made it, no matter how discouraging people were before I left. So open Google Maps and choose.

2)     Choose your place of stay carefully. Now of course I would not recommend that you go spend a week in Gao, Mali right now. That might have to wait. But there are lots of places you can go safely. And then you can choose a nice district or town. You should know that some networks are specializing for solo travellers. Whether you prefer a hotel or a B and B, spend time in getting to know the area and the owners. Most of the B and B owners are passionate people and will help you with everything you need to know. Some of them even have special weeks for solo travellers, everything being planned to them to feel very comfortable.

3)     Choose your activities and options. Make sure you do not end up in a crowded restaurant for Valentine’s Day, or in the middle of young couples diving during their honeymoon. You know what I mean. Being the only single one, moreover the only recently divorced one can be a devastating experience. Here again, some networks will organize activities for solo travellers that have nothing to do with dating activities.

4)     Do not be shy. The earth is full of people who want to share experiences, even if it is just a few words on the weather, the landscape, the wine… Enjoy those moments sharing time with locals or other tourists. And if you are afraid of being alone, bring company ! Why not organize an all solo tour ? Whether it is an all divorced women, or mixing men and women… As long as you base it on a shared passion, for an activity, a product or a region, you will enjoy the company, be in the same state of mind…

5)     Make sure you give a full detailed planning to someone you trust at home : a family member, a good friend… Someone who will be to check on you on a settled basis, one a day, once every other day… You decide. A daily text or email is always a good solution to make people feel safe.

6)     Let it go and HAVE FUN !

france cote opale janvier sensationnelle

 Yes, let it go and have fun, because at the end that is all it is about. When you will be planning your trip carefully, at some point you will have to just trust yourself and enjoy. Open your eyes, your ears, talk to people, discover, get out of your comfort zone. The world is yours, take advantage of it.

 I know that planning a whole trip can be quite something for people while they also have to deal with their daily life. If you need help planning a bespoke trip, whether it is just for you or for a group, if you need someone to make sure you will be safe and who can check on you everyday, if you need someone to rely on in case of emergency while you travel, if you want a private woman travel guide with great ideas… I am here, that is my job, and I will be delighted to help with planning your vacation.

Gwendolin Perrett

Personal travel and event advisor at SensationElle

Our guest blogger, Gwen, taught for 4 years after graduating from anthropology. Then decided it was time to do what she really loved; travel. She recently became a Personal Travel Agent, mostly selling France and Europe to foreigners, but she also works on other destinations. She specializes in bespoke travel and events, making sure that her clients get the best experiences with no worries. This new job allows her to travel as much as she wants with her hubby and doggy and still be available for her privileged clients. Her office fits in a hand luggage : a Mac book, an iPhone, her notebook and a pen, and a few SensationnElle gift cards ready to be sent! Get in touch if you would like to know more information!

If you would like to contact Gwen her contact details are below:

www.sensationnelle.net

www.facebook.com/agence.sensationnelle
www.facebook.com/sensationnelle.wine
www.twitter.com/asensationnelle
pinterest.com/asensationnelle

How to deal with relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety is very destructive, as you know. If you don’t learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, it leads into a very devastating downward spiral:

  • Suspiciousness
  • Worrying about your partner not loving you, or not caring as much as you do
  • Thoughts of them being unfaithful

Many more self-destructive thoughts and emotions. And of course, all of these will fuel your relationship anxiety. In order to learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, take the following steps:

Ask your partner for reassurance. When you find yourself becoming suspicious in your relationship, try to remember that it is probably being fueled by your anxiety. You may be able to get some relief from your relationship anxiety by asking your partner for occasional reassurance. They will be happy to give this if they are patient and understanding of your anxiety. This kind of support may well be very helpful to you.

Ask a trusted friend who is prepared to give you an honest answer if there might be some real reason for you to feel this way. But even when you get that real information, it may not help alleviate your relationship anxiety. You will have to work on that yourself. Perhaps your worry is that you feel that you are too “needy” in your relationship. For instance, do you need constant reassurance and want your partner to regularly prove that things are really okay? This will inevitably put pressure on you and your partner and will add to the relationship anxiety.

I got married when I was 19 years old and discovered after about six months that I had made a terrible mistake. I was under a lot of pressure from my parents to stay in the marriage as it was not ‘the done thing’ to separate or divorce. In their opinion, I was far too young to know what I was doing. I believed them as I knew nothing different and so tried to make the marriage work.

Inevitably the pressure of trying to make it work instead of figuring out how to get rid of anxiety in my relationship made me very unhappy and anxious indeed. I stuck at it until I couldn’t take it any longer and I made the decision to leave, take the children, and strike out on my own. That was the right decision for me, and the anxiety was lifted almost as if a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.

If any of this is resonating with you, then you will need to find ways to cope with your anxiety and learn to rely more on yourself for feeling better – taking the pressure off your partner. This will allow you to become more self-sufficient, even in your anxiety. Give yourself permission to reassure yourself instead of turning to your partner for comfort each time you are anxious. Find ways to learn to think more positively. Try being grateful for what you have.

When you are anxious you can create all kinds of ideas in your imagination that appear so intolerable that you feel compelled to take impulsive and totally misguided actions. You will find yourself:

  • Jumping to conclusions
  • Making decisions that are destined to fail
  • Behaving in a totally childish manner, sulking and demanding attention.

Look for solutions that will relieve your relationship anxiety and won’t result in increasing your problems further. When you are anxious your partner will be anxious too. It becomes a vicious circle and the anxiety is fed constantly.

Learning to trust your intuition is an important part of reducing your anxiety. So, slow down, think through anything you are considering doing and follow your intuition. Make the effort to stop listening to that nagging voice that is telling you something is wrong. It is very likely when you slow down and think rationally that you will find a much better solution for you and your relationship. In this way, you can successfully get rid of anxiety in your relationship.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn