Rebuilding Self-esteem

Having self-esteem means feeling good about yourself.  It means you feel worthy of happiness, health, love and forgiveness.  When you have a healthy level of self-esteem you have a strong sense of your personal power.  Then, and only then, can you move forward positively in your life.

When your self-esteem isn’t it tact, it has been diminished by constant reminders that you are worthless, useless and nobody wants you, you feel frightened and vulnerable.  You are open to the challenges life brings but, as they breeze in, they knock you over and you feel incapable.

To rebuild your self-esteem and ultimately your self-confidence, you have to examine your beliefs about who you are and remind yourself daily of your talents, your qualities and your abilities.  You must dare to question your direction in life and learn to dream again.  And, by taking some very gentle baby steps, you will begin to rebuild your foundation again and build your self-esteem and confidence on that foundation.

One of the first ways to begin this process is to stop worrying about what other people think of you.  What other people think of you is none of your business.  Let them think whatever they like.

What you will usually find is that other people are far more worried about what you think of them to even begin to think about what they think of you.

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You are human.  All human beings make mistakes and we usually recover.  From now on I want you to do what is right for YOU, regardless of what other people think.

I want you to take personal responsibility for your role in each and every situation you face in your life.  Understand that your thinking and your attitude create your life.

Consider how you respond to people and situations.  Look at how you can change your responses to put you in control of your life – NOW.

You can’t change other people, but you can change your response to them.

One of the very first steps to rebuilding your self-esteem is to let go of the past.  By holding on to negative and angry feelings and emotions you are the only person who is suffering.  It is like picking up a burning coal to throw at something and not letting go.  The longer you hold on to it, the more you are burned.

Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. As I said, we are all human.  You are doing the best that you can.

Set yourself free to move your life forward.  Don’t allow past mistakes to weigh you down.

the past

Another thing to let go of is perfection.  Accept yourself as you are, now in this moment. Life is a huge learning curve and you are doing the best that you can with the resources, knowledge and insights that you have.

By judging yourself as imperfect you are removing your opportunity to grow, learn and experience happiness in your life.

Gently nurture yourself, as you would a small child.  Accept that others can make mistakes and are imperfect too.

Don’t compare yourself to other people.  Drop your expectation of others having to be perfect. We are all human with human imperfections.

Choose not to scream at yourself or condemn yourself for perceiving you are stupid or for not being perfect.

Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself in all situations.  Quieten that harsh voice that is terrorising your mind.  Know that you can deal with much more than you think.

If this resonates with you and you would like to have a conversation about this subject, please get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Reducing overwhelm

Have you ever looked at your ‘To Do’ list and thought that your head would explode?  The list is so long it covers 2 sheets of paper and you are in a state where you are not functioning because your brain has decided that it can’t cope and is turning you into a gibbering wreck.

 

I know I have been in that position, and it doesn’t feel very good at all.  In fact, all I wanted to do was rip up the list and go on holiday.

to do list

But there are tips I can share with you so that you can reduce your overwhelm and actually move forward with your life without feeling like a huge failure, which you are not.

The very first thing to do is to stop, breathe and look at the big picture.  Get up from whatever it is you are doing, break state.  Go for a walk, a game of golf, an exercise class.  What you do doesn’t matter, changing what you are doing does.

Have a little chat with yourself.  Tell yourself it is perfectly normal to be overwhelmed but this is only a passing thing.  This time is not great, so what! That’s life.  This state of mind is not interminable, it is just your current state.  Very soon you will be back to your normal self and getting so much more done than you can today.

Write down everything you have to do in great detail.  Everything, including the dripping tap in the kitchen, the shopping – everything that is competing for your attention.

Put on your ‘Best Friend’ hat.  Imagine you are your own best friend.  What would you advise your best friend to cross off, delay or put to the top of the list? Cross off those things that you know have been on your list for weeks and are unlikely to get done.  If they have been on the list for that long, so they really need doing?

Focus on the bigger picture.  What is your intention behind any task? Is the task getting you closer or further away from your intention?  Ditch, delay or change the task accordingly.

Look at the stuff that is left on your list now, what can you give to someone else to do? A staff member, a friend, a family member?  Of course they probably won’t do it as well as you, but currently you aren’t doing anything. So ask for help.

Your list should be much shorter now, more easily managed.  Prioritise, give each task a grade.  A = has to happen today. B = Brilliant if I could get it done today, but not essential.  C = We’ll see if we get to it today.

Now make yourself a cup of tea/coffee.  Self explanatory.

 

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It’s time to start with

  • A1. Do it, must be done today.
  • A2. Do it, would like it done today.
  • A3 Do it if you can today, if not add it to your to do list for tomorrow.

Tick each one off as you accomplish them and celebrate.  Give yourself  acknowledgement and accolades for as long as you can maintain your state.

It is then crucial after your emotionally challenging day that you take time to unwind.  A bath, a film, a meal.  Whatever it takes to get you to a place where you will sleep well.  It’s not about time management, it’s about energy management, so your small investment at the end of a big day pays huge dividends for the rest of the week.

If this resonates with you and you would like to have a no obligation conversation, please get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The terror attack on 22nd March 2017 in London

I looked on in horror at the television reports of the terror attack on Westminster Bridge in London.  There were so many people affected, either being physically injured by the marauding vehicle or jumping off the bridge to escape.  Five people have died in this pointless attack, one a policeman who was fatally stabbed protecting our country.

My heart went out to the many tourists who had been caught up in this atrocity and I wondered what on earth I could do, if anything, to help those and all the citizens of London who have been permanently damaged, either physically or mentally.

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There was nothing I could do from where I live on the Isle of Wight, nearly 4 hours away, at that time.  I could only send positive and healing thoughts to all those involved.

I read about the black cab drivers who were taking people home at no cost to make sure they were ok.  How wonderful to have that great act of kindness.

I read about the Uber drivers who were charging four times the fares to take people home. Such greed.

I wondered what I can do to help.  I thought about it. What I can do now is help some of those who have been affected by listening to them, as often getting their own thoughts out of their heads is vital in their healing process.  There would be no charge from me. I want to help in some small way.  If you have been affected by this terror attack, or know someone who has, get in touch and I will listen and help where I can.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

Removing stress with coaching

Having too much stress in your life, will make you anxious, irritable and unproductive.  It will affect your relationship with yourself, your performance at work, your long term physical and emotional health and your quality of your life.

Coaching will enable you to overcome stress quickly and easily, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer, altogether more confident and most importantly, free of stress. Ultimately you will start living the life you desire.

Why is it that all we seem to hear about these days is stress?  Why does it seem to pervade everything we do?  Well the simple answer is that as a result of ever-increasing expectations and competition more and more people are spending increasing amounts of time utilising their body’s natural stress response.

This instinctive response releases stress hormones directly into the bloodstream. These hormones cause instant mental, emotional and physiological changes – extra awareness, endurance and strength.  So if we were in a dangerous situation, this would help us to survive.

Because stress hormones get us fired-up, rather like sprinters crouched and waiting for the starting-gun, and because most stressed people don’t get the release of the race itself,  the stress hormones just keep on working.

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As a result, we permanently have to endure these feelings of immediate danger and physiological, mental and emotional readiness, never able to relax and never able to feel at ease. Does this sound familiar?

Stress has a dramatic impact on the quality of our lives. It can cause a wide range of emotional problems including issues with anger, anxiety, addiction, panic and obsessive thoughts.  It can also affect our physiology such that we suffer from insomnia and the inability of our immune system to work effectively.

Perhaps your stress is caused by going through or the aftermath of divorce or a life trauma.  Stress can also be caused by health worries – real or perceived, by financial worries, through a whole raft of worries, through being alone or never being alone.

Do you feel overwhelmed by having too many things to do?  Have you noticed that you wake up early or in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because your mind is racing?  Have you been feeling more irritable about minor things at work or at home?   If so, it sounds like there’s too much stress in your life.

You are not alone. But why not give it up?  Why not reclaim your life and start living the life you deserve to enable you to overcome your stress rapidly, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer and much more confident.

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One of the tools you will learn to adopt through coaching is to stop getting caught in the avalanche of information – much of it negative – that assaults you throughout the day and adds to your worries and therefore the stress levels.  Go on a news fast for a day, or a week.  Moderate your TV and Internet time.

Coaching tackles life stresses in a more courageous way than many stress management techniques, because it invites you to take an honest look at the fundamental cause of your stress – namely – your life.

Unlock your future by building the new foundations of your life now.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

maggieheart
Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Chill

Stress as we all know is a killer. And yet still the number of people suffering from it continues to increase. In the UK it is estimated that work-related stress is responsible for six million days of sick leave a year.

When you own your own business, being sick from work is simply not an option. Ask a business owner when they last took a day off sick and chances are it was last century. Maybe we’re all delusional, believing that the business would come crashing to its knees if we weren’t there to run it. More likely that we know the business can function very well without us, but there simply aren’t the resources in place to pick up the work in your absence. Whatever the reason, small business owners don’t read the signs their bodies send them when they are working too hard. That stiff neck, backache, that heart burn – you just work through it.

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Whilst it is normal to have some stress when running your own business, excessive stress can seriously disrupt your productivity and have a huge impact on your physical and emotional health. How you deal with this stress can mean the difference between your success or failure.

If you go to your local A & E department you will find doctors and nurses working in very stressful conditions as a matter of course.  They get on with their jobs in a quick but measured fashion and there is never any panic amongst the staff. This includes everyone, the porters, the doctors, the nurses. They all have a job to do and they just get on with it – systematically. No dramas, no ‘not quite knowing what was the most important or urgent task of the day’.

There really is little to get stressed about in business. What goes on in hospitals every day all over the country is quite extraordinary. Our doctors and nurses and all their support teams work in severely stressful situations, they work incredibly long hours and are in the business of saving lives. It doesn’t get much bigger than that does it? And yet they seem to do it quite reservedly – we don’t hear much about them on a day-to-day basis do we?

Is it really worth getting so worked up about business? Why not start a triage system in your business – there are just some things that can sit being monitored for while, whilst you get on with the important stuff.

Managing stress doesn’t have to be about making huge changes or rethinking career paths.  I believe it is about focusing on the one thing that’s always within your control: YOU.

You can’t control everything related to your business; that would be unrealistic. But that doesn’t mean to say that you are totally powerless—even when you’re stuck in a difficult situation.

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I’m a coach specialising in helping people reduce or eliminate stress in their work.  I will help you get out from hiding behind your desk. I have set up and run two successful businesses over the past 10 years and I managed stress levels successfully so that it didn’t affect me very much.

And you can do it too…… Take responsibility for your working life. I will help you to focus on what is important, what can be monitored, what can be outsourced, what can be ditched, so that you can work smarter and not harder.

Get in touch today to find out more about my 8 week coaching programme to help you reduce or even eliminate stress from your work.

Maggie Currie

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Simple Steps Real Change

Reduce your stress

Having too much stress in your life, will make you anxious, irritable and unproductive.  Stress will affect your relationships, your performance at work, your long term physical and emotional health and your quality of your life in general.  But is there a way to reduce unwanted stress once and for all?

Why is it that all we seem to hear about these days is stress?  Why does it seem to pervade everything we do?  Well the simple answer is that as a result of ever-increasing expectations and competition more and more people are spending increasing amounts of time making very good use of their natural stress responses.

The instinctive responses, our body’s natural reactions to protect us from danger, release stress hormones directly into the bloodstream.  These hormones bring about  instant mental, emotional and physiological changes that provide extra awareness, endurance and strength.  So if we were in a dangerous situation, they would help us to survive.

And because stress hormones get us fired-up, rather like sprinters crouched and waiting for the starting-gun, and because most stressed people don’t get the release of the race itself or they don’t give their bodies and minds sufficient time and space to rest after each stress-filled moment, the stress hormones just keep on working long after the perceived successful situation has gone. And as a result, we permanently have to endure these feelings of immediate danger and physiological, mental and emotional readiness, never able to relax and never able to feel at ease. It makes us feel tired too, so much so that we want to sleep, but because we are stressed we can’t get to sleep and so we toss and turn and increase our stress levels.

womanscreaming

This obviously has a dramatic impact on the quality of our lives. Stress causes a wide range of emotional problems including issues with anger, anxiety, addiction, panic and obsessive thoughts.  It can also affect our physiology such that we suffer from insomnia and the inability of our immune system to work effectively.

Perhaps your stress is caused by crippling pressures at work, or through an unhappy home life.  Stress can also be caused by health worries – real or perceived, by financial worries, through the raft of worries associated with mid life crisis, through being too alone or not alone enough.  As life gets busier stress is on the increase and more of us are looking for ways to manage stress.

A story, entitled “Stress and Memory,” summarises the results of a study published in the ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Online’ that shows how stress chemically alters the brain’ s capacity to retain information, even very important information like where one can safely get one’s head above water when dropped unexpectedly into a lake or pond. That’s the effect on mice, anyway.

Scientists have discovered that if they play very irritating hissing noises to mice, the mice are then likely to forget where they can swim to safety while struggling to stay afloat in buckets of water … according to a story published on the science blog ‘ScienCentralNews’.

So if it affects mice, what is it doing to us?

Do you feel overwhelmed by too many things to do?  Have you noticed lately that you wake up early or in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because your mind is racing?  Or have you been feeling more irritable about minor things at work or at home with your family?   If so, it sounds like there’s too much stress in your life.

Information-overload is one source of chronic stress.  We are bombarded with information from all angles every day.  From newspapers, television, radio, billboards, magazines, overheard conversations, the internet and so on. And most of what we are hearing and seeing is negative, which adds to the stress levels.

If you think that you’re the only one who’s suffering from your stress levels, think again.  New research suggests that one person’s stress can impact loved ones as well. Stress can be a huge source of misery in many lives.

Why not give it up?  Why not reclaim your life and start living the life you deserve to enable you to overcome your stress rapidly, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer and much more confident.  Quick fixes are hard to find, and often structural life changes are necessary to remove the major sources of stress.  Life coaching will enable you to overcome stress quickly and easily, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer, altogether more confident and most importantly, free of stress. Ultimately you will start living the life you desire.  Life Coaching will provide you with the tools required to avoid stress in the future.

concept

One of the tools you will learn to adopt is to stop getting caught in the avalanche of information – much of it negative as we know – that assaults you throughout the day.  Go on a news fast for a day, a week or a month.  Moderate your TV and Internet time.

Life coaching tackles life stresses in a more courageous way than many stress management techniques, because it invites you to take an honest look at the fundamental cause of your stress – namely – your life.  It offers both coping strategies for living with the status quo, but it also offers opportunities to change the status quo – thereby removing the sources of stress.

The life coaching process allows us to work together to find the sources of your stress and the routes to your happiness.  With the help of a Life Coach, you will design a new, better way to live, and you will find ways to make it happen. It isn’t easy, and it takes time, the Life Coach will support you in regular sessions to monitor progress, tackle problems, and help you to stay positive and energised. You will find the limiting beliefs which keep you down; you will remove these beliefs – springing the trap – allowing you to move into new ways of being.

As a result of these sessions, you will gain a better understanding of your stress (it’s rarely the way it seems at face value), you’ll see a better way to live, and you’ll move towards that better – stress-free life.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Get in touch with me today via the contact page of my website. Work with me to reduce your stress levels.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Is the feeling of fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Can you describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

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I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

That’s what is making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That the feeling of fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.  Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

Maybe not.

FEAR =

 False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.

Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable with the fear of making changes in your life? 

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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