Being Alone – Is it always a bad thing?

The absolutely most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  And this relationship can frequently be the most difficult one to cultivate because you are the only one who is present in every single moment of your life – from the moment you were conceived onwards.  

Society places a huge emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, and you may have been conditioned to  set aside your own needs in preference for the needs of others.  

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But, until you really know yourself, how can you choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential?

By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

I don’t think there has been another time in history when it has been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We all have the freedom to support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.

With this freedom comes the opportunity to pursue your own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once you’ve satisfied your needs and created your support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom you can share the bounty of all you’ve created, as well as the beauty you’ve discovered within yourself.

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I believe we all need to learn to create spaces to be alone within our relationships. If we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we can open ourselves up to forge new paths and discover uncharted territory.

Being willing to not just know ourselves, but to love ourselves, and willing to discover what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to explore more fully our most important relationship—the one with our true selves. And no, it isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, I believe it is a good thing.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Travelling alone and enjoying it ! – Guest Blog by Gwen Perret

Maggie wrote me a guest blog a month ago titled « After Divorce, Travel ! », and that got me thinking. Of course, I am convinced of all the good things that comes out of traveling, especially in times when we need to reconstruct ourselves. But as a female travel lover and travel PA, I am concerned about the issues of women traveling alone : safety, boredom, social acceptance…

 Yes, I believe that traveling is essential on a self-reconstruction journey, but only if all conditions are put together to make the traveller feels safe. Feeling safe as a woman solo traveller, or as women traveling together in a group, means feeling free and safe wherever you go, whether it is physical integrity or not feeling judged or looked at, totally out of place.

 Of course, you always have the travel with singles option, which can be fun of you are ready to meet someone new in your life, outgoing… But what if you are just not in the dating mood, or just not that kind of person ? What if you just want to enjoy a place you have never been too and want to enjoy your new “you” just being by yourself ?

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 Well, that is possible. Good news, huh ? All you have to do is make sure, before you go, to pay attention to the following details.

 1)     Choose your destination carefully. Go somewhere you have always wanted to go but never could. This needs to be YOUR choice. It might not be everyone’s choice, but who cares ? When I was younger I spent a year abroad in Alaska, I was not 18 yet, and most people thought I had lost my mind. Who, on earth, would leave a great school, successful studies, a family and everything to go abroad for a year ? And moreover to Alaska ? Well I did. I have always loved far away, unknown places. And I am so glad I made it, no matter how discouraging people were before I left. So open Google Maps and choose.

2)     Choose your place of stay carefully. Now of course I would not recommend that you go spend a week in Gao, Mali right now. That might have to wait. But there are lots of places you can go safely. And then you can choose a nice district or town. You should know that some networks are specializing for solo travellers. Whether you prefer a hotel or a B and B, spend time in getting to know the area and the owners. Most of the B and B owners are passionate people and will help you with everything you need to know. Some of them even have special weeks for solo travellers, everything being planned to them to feel very comfortable.

3)     Choose your activities and options. Make sure you do not end up in a crowded restaurant for Valentine’s Day, or in the middle of young couples diving during their honeymoon. You know what I mean. Being the only single one, moreover the only recently divorced one can be a devastating experience. Here again, some networks will organize activities for solo travellers that have nothing to do with dating activities.

4)     Do not be shy. The earth is full of people who want to share experiences, even if it is just a few words on the weather, the landscape, the wine… Enjoy those moments sharing time with locals or other tourists. And if you are afraid of being alone, bring company ! Why not organize an all solo tour ? Whether it is an all divorced women, or mixing men and women… As long as you base it on a shared passion, for an activity, a product or a region, you will enjoy the company, be in the same state of mind…

5)     Make sure you give a full detailed planning to someone you trust at home : a family member, a good friend… Someone who will be to check on you on a settled basis, one a day, once every other day… You decide. A daily text or email is always a good solution to make people feel safe.

6)     Let it go and HAVE FUN !

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 Yes, let it go and have fun, because at the end that is all it is about. When you will be planning your trip carefully, at some point you will have to just trust yourself and enjoy. Open your eyes, your ears, talk to people, discover, get out of your comfort zone. The world is yours, take advantage of it.

 I know that planning a whole trip can be quite something for people while they also have to deal with their daily life. If you need help planning a bespoke trip, whether it is just for you or for a group, if you need someone to make sure you will be safe and who can check on you everyday, if you need someone to rely on in case of emergency while you travel, if you want a private woman travel guide with great ideas… I am here, that is my job, and I will be delighted to help with planning your vacation.

Gwendolin Perrett

Personal travel and event advisor at SensationElle

Our guest blogger, Gwen, taught for 4 years after graduating from anthropology. Then decided it was time to do what she really loved; travel. She recently became a Personal Travel Agent, mostly selling France and Europe to foreigners, but she also works on other destinations. She specializes in bespoke travel and events, making sure that her clients get the best experiences with no worries. This new job allows her to travel as much as she wants with her hubby and doggy and still be available for her privileged clients. Her office fits in a hand luggage : a Mac book, an iPhone, her notebook and a pen, and a few SensationnElle gift cards ready to be sent! Get in touch if you would like to know more information!

If you would like to contact Gwen her contact details are below:

www.sensationnelle.net

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