Stress – what is it?

Have you set yourself goals that you want to achieve?  If so, are they actually achievable?  And more importantly are they really necessary?

You can create stress around goals.  You make them mean something about your worth and value and this creates pressure as you strive to achieve them.  And if you do achieve them, will there still be something missing?

womanscreaming

So, let’s imagine you want to test out how much stress you can create.

If you feel you have to make it happen you are putting a huge responsibility on your shoulders.  You think you are on your own.  You work hard at gaining more knowledge, you work harder and keep a very tight control.  You make it all about your personal commitment and discipline.  You want to prove yourself to yourself and to everyone else or you think you will lose everything.  You force yourself out of your comfort zone creating stress and fear all the way along.

Or you could leave it all up to the Universe.  This means you sit and wait for the conditions of your environment or in your mind to be perfect.  This is very unlikely to happen, as perfection does not exist.  So you create stress whilst you wait.

Or you can use your free will and make decisions from your innate wisdom and stay on course when your thoughts appear stressful.  It is your thoughts that cause the stress, since stress itself does not exist until we create it.

Happy young woman with a white background

So relax into what it is you want to achieve, live in the moment, don’t think about the future as it hasn’t happened yet, do what you feel is right and your perceived stress levels will reduce and you may even find that you have no need to set goals at all.

If anything you have read resonates with you, let me know.

Maggie Currie

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Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Stress – what is it?

Have you set yourself goals that you think you want to achieve?  If so, are they actually achievable?  And more importantly are they really necessary?

There is stress around setting goals.  You make them mean something about your worth and value and this creates pressure as you strive to achieve them.  And if you do achieve them, will there still be something missing?

screaming

So, let’s imagine you want to test out how stressed you are.

If you feel you have to make it happen you are putting a huge responsibility on your shoulders.  You think you are on your own.  You work hard at gaining more knowledge, you work harder and keep a very tight control.  You make it all about your personal commitment and discipline.  You want to prove yourself to yourself, and to everyone else, or you think you will lose everything.

We force ourselves out of our comfort zones feeling stress and fear all the way along.

On the other hand, you could leave it all up to the Universe.  This mean you sit and wait for the conditions of your environment or in your mind to be perfect………  This is very unlikely to happen.  So you feel stressed whilst you wait.

Happy young woman with a white background

Alternatively, and more sensibly you can use your free will and make decisions from your innate wisdom and stay on course when have stressful thinking.  It is your thoughts that cause the stress, since stress itself does not exist until we create it.

So relax into what it is you want to achieve, live in the moment.  Don’t think about the future as it hasn’t happened yet.  Don’t think about what you did in the past, nothing can change that. Do what you feel is right in the moment and your stress levels will reduce and you may even find that you have no need to set goals at all.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and reducing your stress levels,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

How do you see yourself?

How you see yourself probably begins with you assessing yourself against a combination of the qualities and attributes of many people that you most admire.  Your ‘self-ideal’ is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

It is interesting that with most people, everything they do on a day-to-day basis is affected by them comparing their activities with their view of their ideal qualities and then striving to behave consistently with them.

I have noticed that successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their lives, whilst unsuccessful people generally have fuzzy ideals.

When you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal will change.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

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Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where you are safe, there are no limits with the exception of the ones that you accept.

Think about the following:

  • What is your vision of the very best person you want to be?
  • How would you behave each day if you were already that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you look and stand, how you appear to other people? What do you hear? What do you see? What are you wearing? What is around you? Who is around you? Make the picture as bright and colourful as you can.  Add sounds, smells, colours, textures.

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

Firstly, dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals or targets for yourself.  Allow yourself to imagine your wonderful life ahead.

Secondly, think about how you will act when you are living your wonderful life.  Begin acting like you have achieved this goal.  You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour, you will notice a change in your body language. Others will notice too. We become what we think.

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If you are not sure where to begin get in touch with me today and we can have a chat about how I can help you.

 

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Set goals that stretch you, but that you can achieve

With the year a quarter of the way through already and the distant memory of those abandoned New Year resolutions, you may well be demoralised into thinking that goals cannot be achieved easily.

However, if you commit to a proper process you can, and indeed will, achieve your goals.

I would like to tell you how I managed to identify my goals for setting up my own businesses and how I achieved them.

When I was leaving the relative security of paid employment for the peculiarities of self-employment, I needed to decide what I was going to do, as, like a lot of people, I had a chequered career history. I chose to work in a field that I most enjoyed, people development. I then had to research the market to see where there was a gap, and if there was a gap, if I had the capability to fill it.

 

A caucasian college student talking on the phone

I did a lot of research, most of which cost me no money but a lot of my time. I asked friends, family and colleagues. I looked in the press and on the Internet, and I spoke with professionals, people already in business and business associations.  All the research told me was that there was room for a Coach who wanted to help people to survive following life traumas, and to really start living their lives.

I identified my Unique Selling Point – ME!  No other company had me within their employ.  So I used this to my advantage and set about contacting everyone I knew and told them what I was doing and asked them to consider me for work.

Help comes to those who help themselves. The old adage “All good things come to those who wait” is true, but it’s also true that more help comes to those who help themselves.  I hated the wait for the telephone to ring, so I acted as if my business was already running and built a database, set up templates, made business cards, researched the possibilities of employing staff, hiring premises and even working abroad. Nothing was out of reach.

This enabled me to feel and act as if I was already in business, so when I networked  – and believe me, I networked – I sounded professional.  In time the telephone did ring and one thing led to another. I have been in business for ten years now and have enjoyed every minute.  I have learned a lot too. All my hard work has paid off and I am very successful.

Now I want to inspire and motivate you to achieve your goals.

But what are your goals? Do you know? The very first thing you need to do is take some time to seriously consider what goals you want to achieve. Really think, and decide what your goals are.  Something else to consider is what are you most dissatisfied with in your life. What can you do about it?

Look at your personal life, your personal growth, your finances. Is there anything you would like to change?  What can you do to make those changes?

Once you have set goals for your personal life, think about your career.  What do you like about it?  What don’t you like about it? Are your finances healthy?  What about your professional development?  What can you do to change the things you don’t like and implement the things you do like?

 

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Commit to 1-3 goals to get you started, you can add more as each you achieve each goal. Aim to have no more than seven goals at any one time, whilst you work on the top three as a priority. Sometimes it is better to set yourself smaller goals, then you will be motivated to set bigger ones as you achieve them.

Some people prefer to set one or two large goals, and put all their energy and focus into those. The number of goals you set is more to do with your personality than with your likelihood of success. Whichever you choose is fine, each is equally successful, if you follow this process. Once you have your goals, look at them in conjunction with each other to ensure they are not pulling you in different directions.

Once you have decided on your goals, refine them. All goals must be written down and be personal, in the present tense and positive.  If your goals are not written down, they are merely dreams.

All your goals must start with “I”.  The idea of present tense is important as it convinces your subconscious to think you are already achieving it. The subconscious part of your brain does not judge the information it is presented with, it cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. So if your goal is, for instance, to build a business, speak to yourself as if it is already underway and your subconscious will think you are currently doing so. This adds to your success.

So your goal may be ‘I am building my business and every day I am more successful’.  Or it may be ‘I am moving up my career ladder at the right pace for me’.

Always write your goals down as it cements them into your psyche.  Research has proven that goals that are written down have a significantly higher rate of success.

Goals must always be positive. Goals must be about what you want to achieve, to have or do. Focus on what the goal will give you. What benefits to you are there to achieving your goal? Do not think of what you are giving up or losing, as this is the wrong direction to focus in – look forward not back.

Irrespective of the goal, there are only four benefits:

  1. Well being
  2. Status
  3. Money
  4. Time

Once you know this, you will be able to keep that in focus and the idea of what you are aiming to achieve has a reason behind it, a benefit.

One of the main causes of goals not working is focusing on what you are missing out on and not on what you are gaining.  What will you gain from achieving your goals?

Take action and really begin to change your life.  If you need help, email me at hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk and we can arrange a FREE chat.

 

Maggie Currie 

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Simple Steps Real Change

Fast forward 1 year – what do you see for yourself?

How would you like to see yourself in a year’s time?  Would it be the same as now, or with slight changes or a whole new look?

Currently my life is:

  • My relationship with myself looks pretty good at the moment. I treat myself with respect and gratitude and take notice of the good thoughts, I acknowledge the not so good thoughts and endeavour to take no notice them beyond that.
  • My thoughts are generally positive but occasionally a negative thought will creep in. This is normal for everyone.
  • My relationship with my husband is fantastic, we love and respect each other and make each other laugh.
  • My relationship with my mother is good, we see each other fairly regularly, my father passed away some years ago, but is always in my heart and mind.
  • My relationship with two of my children is virtually non-existent (their choice which I respect) and with the third it is quite long distance and variable.
  • My physical health is pretty good, I am slightly overweight and making an effort to change this and I currently feel great.
  • My finances are reasonably okay, but could of course be a lot better. Bank account is in the black and the cash flow is restricted.
  • My business world consists of coaching, I am self-employed and an entrepreneur. I am the business.
  • I am peaceful in my life, asking the Universe for what I want, although I could ask more often. I don’t meditate.
  • For fun I work at pop festivals and trade by offering Indian head massage to all the punters at the festivals.
  • I take time for myself every day, even if it is only 5 minutes.

‘Get back to me retreat’ Friday March 15th to Sunday March 17th 2013

In a year’s time I see for me:

  • An even better relationship with myself.
  • Fewer negative thoughts creeping in.
  • A continuing fantastic relationship with my husband.
  • A great relationship with my mother.
  • A better relationship with my daughter.
  • Better health, less overweight.
  • Fabulous finances.
  • Business booming.
  • Peaceful in life and asking and receiving more from the Universe.
  • Still enjoying pop festivals.
  • My third book published.
  • Taking more time for myself every day.

Take a few moments to think about your future.  Is there anything you would like to see differently? What are you prepared to do to bring about those changes?

If you need help get in touch today and we can get a date in the diary for a chat.

 

 Maggie Currie

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© Maggie Currie and Maggie Currie Coaching, 2011-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Maggie Currie and maggiecurrie.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The SELF workshop – the aftermath

The SELF workshop went very well. There were around 26 people in the room and all seemed to learn something, whether that was about themselves, their situation or their future plans.

I had some wonderful feedback too and will share this with you. I asked people to write on a post it note at the end of the workshop what they felt about it, and to stick it on the door as they left.  All comments were positive which is very gratifying for me as I had put a lot of work into this workshop.

The atmosphere was relaxed and friendly.  I got to chat with every single one who came along, and after a little while they really began to get into it and were coming up with answers and experiences.

feedback

As we worked through the workbook, there were a few people who started to realise that they hadn’t been thinking about what they needed in life, they had been too busy pleasing other people. We talked a lot about energy, emotional energy spent on worrying, stressing etc.  And we found ways that we could reduce this.

We also talked about life and how although we exist, we shouldn’t just exist we should live our lives with vigour.

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We talked about freedom and giving ourselves permission to  live our lives as we want for ourselves.  There was a general feeling that often we didn’t allow ourselves to be who we are because we can hide behind a persona in some way or another, whether that be the role we have at work or how we think we are perceived.

And then we created vision boards of how we want our lives to look and what goals we want to achieve.  They were excellent with some people knowing exactly what they want, and some not quite so sure.

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All in all a good time was had by everyone, including myself.  Some of the attendees shared their vision boards and explained what it meant to them, others wanted to keep theirs private.

I am looking forward to the next one now with even more excitement.

If you would like to attend one of my workshops, or would like to coach with me, get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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How to break bad habits

What are your bad habits? First you have to identify the habits that you want to break.  The ones you really don’t want to hang to. The ones you consider to be bad habits.

  • Smoking?
  • Talking too much?
  • Drinking?
  • Untidiness?

Whether it’s that perpetual pile of clothes in the corner you’re waiting to someday turn into gold, a self-proclaimed disability which renders you unable to refrain from interrupting, or a knack for timing your exit just so, so that someone else is continually left to do the washing up, now’s the time to extinguish these habits before they turn into next year’s resolutions.

Here are some of the reasons why.

1.      It’s not fair to others. One of the great universal laws ruling our wonderful planet says that you get back what you put out there.

Do you want others to be kind and considerate to you?  Then start putting the considerate, kind vibes out there and pick up your clothes, do the washing up, and stop interrupting or whatever it is you or a collective “others” define as a bad habit.

2.    It’s not fair to you.  I’m sure you’re a nice person, and you pride yourself on having generous, warmhearted traits.  So, it’s not fair to you either that this simple, little, annoying thing you do can wield the power that it now, or will soon have.

These tiny culprits have been known to ruin marriages, friendships, and cause the downfall of many a mighty person.  Plus you’ll feel better about yourself.

3.   Your success depends on it. Bad habits have a funny way of scope and context creep.

First they only happen in certain situations, and the next thing you know, you’re at a business function swirling your fingers through the chip dip. Put an end to it now before situations that require your utmost polish become tarnished by these terribly annoying little monsters.

4.   You probably don’t like it when others do the same thing. Think about it.  If someone did the same thing to you, would it bother you?

 How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

Be honest.

Sometimes all it takes is a simple exercise in empathy to find the motivation to quit whatever it is we could benefit from stopping.

5.   List your own reasons. But be sincere and totally honest.

What is it costing you to perpetuate these habits?

Whether it’s a moment of peace, seemingly perpetual nagging, or simple anxiety resulting from anticipation of the next blow-up or negative comment, you owe it to yourself to commit to your ongoing personal development, and to the elimination of any behaviour whose costs far outweigh the benefits.

 

So how do you begin?

Just like breaking a smoking habit, bad habits have a way of creeping up on us and slowly over time becoming somewhat akin to an appendage—i.e. they’re hard to get rid of.

Here are some tips for breaking these bad habits:

Start small: 

While it might not be reasonable to expect that you can just stop whatever you’re doing overnight, identify what might constitute as a small step in the right direction? Write down what that step is and carry it out over the next 21 days.

For example, if you are smoking 40 a day, cut that down to 20 for the next 21 days.  Make that behaviour a habit before you cut that down to 15 for the next 21 days and then 10 and so on.

 Commit: 

Make a commitment to yourself that you will make this shift, and if reinforcement and punishment works—use it!  Think about how you might reward yourself for making the change.  Or, consider how you might penalise yourself if you don’t.

For instance in our smoking example. Put the money you would have spent on the cigarettes in a jar and at the end of the 21 days add it all up and buy yourself a treat for example.

From cutting down to 20 smokes a day from 40 smokes a day, over a 21-day period at £8 a packet that will save you £168 in just 3 weeks!

Also, write two lists, one of the reasons why you are doing this and also a list of the things that you will miss out on if you keep on doing your bad habit.

Identify alternatives:

What are some alternatives to the behaviour you are demonstrating? Is there a quick fix or solution that might help provide an alternative—e.g. put a laundry basket by the bedside (one to match with the décor) so that you don’t end up with a pile on the floor.

Get help: 

Ask someone to help keep you accountable.  If they’ve been victims of this bad habit, they’ll most likely be thrilled you asked! Or seek professional help from a coach or mentor who will definitely hold you accountable. A coach will be non-judgemental and will offer you praise when it is due.

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 Ask for feedback: 

Because human nature dictates that we will only complain when you offend, rather than amend, ask for feedback frequently.

Don’t assume, no news is good news, but be sure to get praise when praise is due. Remember to reward yourself when you achieve your short term goals, your medium term goals and your long term goals.  It doesn’t have to be something expensive, although it can be.  It could be a cream tea by the sea, or a cup of coffee, or a small box of chocolates.  You decide what your rewards will be and make sure you reward yourself.

I am here to help, so call me and we can talk about how I can help you.

 

Maggie Currie

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