Get out of your own way

When you are facing obstacles that seem to be blocking you from achieving your goals, try not to get discouraged. It is so easy to feel “stuck” or that “life” is creating obstacles preventing you from getting what you want. It is also easy to look at everyone else for the problem, perhaps even wanting to “get rid” of that person we may feel is blocking us. Often the best course of action to take is to look inside ourselves first. Nobody else can make you feel stuck, or make you feel blocked.  You are responsible for your own feelings, and only you.

It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that is what we are doing. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results. You have heard the well known saying ‘If you want to get what you have always had, then keep doing what you have always done’.

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If you believe that you’ve been getting in your own way,  write down how you think you’ve done this. Write down the choices you’ve made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle with yourself during this process. Don’t blame yourself for getting in your own way.

When you are finished, tear up and throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you’ve created to block yourself. Start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you’ve decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can allow you to do just that.

If this resonates with you and you would like to have a conversation about this or any other subject, please get in touch. I look forward to hearing from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Celebrating success

Have you ever noticed  how terrible we can be at acknowledging what we have achieved?  When congratulated on a success, we might hear ourselves say “oh it was nothing”.  On reaching a goal, we might skip the celebration because there is something else to strive for now.  When reviewing a half completed ‘to do’ list, we’ll bemoan what we didn’t do, rather than focus on how much we actually achieved.

Is this because we’re modest to the extreme, or do we simply not recognise just how much we do day to day, month to month, year to year?

I think it’s the latter.  We either don’t recognise how much we do, or we don’t see how important every step we’ve taken is.  We don’t see our progress as an achievement.

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As the frequently quoted saying goes “a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.  So if every step is progress, then in my book every step is an achievement.  What if we were to give ourselves more credit for everything we achieve?

Ticking things off a ‘to do’ list might not seem as celebration-worthy as representing your country in a chosen sport, but if it takes you closer to your own personal success then it’s a point scored in your own game!  So take that moment to acknowledge your progress.  When you reach a milestone, give yourself a reward.  And when you achieve what you were aiming for, seriously celebrate your success!

The energy gain from this change in perspective can be massive! I’m certainly more productive when operating from a mindset of ‘look how much closer I am to my objective and how much I’ve achieved!’ than if I were beating myself up about what I had left to do.  I’m sure you will be too.

Try this … Celebrate YOUR Success!

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What could you do to pat yourself on the back more often?  Here are a few ideas that many of my clients use:

Keep a Success Journal – try it for a week and see how good you feel!  Each time you do something well, write it down.  Each time you complete a task you’ve been putting off, write it down.  Each time you feel even one small step closer to your big objective, write it down!

I met a well known motivational speaker who does this every single day and having kept his success journals over the years, he now has a bookshelf full.  Imagine what he does on a bad day – cheers himself up pretty quickly I’d think!

Reward Yourself – what better pat on the back than giving yourself something you enjoy as a reward!

When something goes well, when you achieve what you wanted to, when you reach a milestone on your way to something bigger… celebrate your success with a treat.  It could be a nice meal, a night out, a small gift to yourself or the bliss of a day / half a day doing something you absolutely love.  What will it be?

Tell somebody – let them share it with you!  When something goes well, don’t keep quiet, shout it from the rooftops and enjoy the recognition.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success!

If you find this resonates with you, get in touch with me for a free conversation about your thoughts on your success or lack of success.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Your accomplishment diary

A great way to remind yourself how good you are is to keep an accomplishment diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to remind myself of my accomplishments and successes after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

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Buy yourself a beautiful notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to the following:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?
  • What am I happy about in my life right now?
  • Why am I happy about these things?
  • What did I accomplish last week?
  • What am I excited about in my life right now?
  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life?
  • Who do I like hanging around?
  • Why do I like hanging around with them?
  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means read your answers again, or even answer the questions again, whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. And you have a lot.

I would love to hear about your experience of writing in your accomplishment diary.

Maybe you need help to begin thinking more positively about yourself.  So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ When the mind is filled with positive thoughts, cause and effect rule, resulting in a positive feeling.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Looking after YOU first.

How do you respond when someone makes a request of you and it really is not something you want to do?

I suspect you try and search for an excuse, such as I am busy that day, I have to wash my hair…..and all these excuses seem very lame to you. And so you say yes, against your better judgement.

BUT, what if you could respond confidently to the request? What if you could say no without guilt?

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The question has just been posed.  Pause.  Were you going to say yes, even though there’s a voice deep down saying “no”?  What possible reasons could there be for saying no?

  • It’s beyond your means?
  • It’s beyond your comfort level?
  • You have no interest?
  • You have to wash your hair?

Identify all the reasons you have for saying “no.”  Identify which stem from a lack of confidence, which would be detrimental to you and which come from a sincere disinterest in fulfilling the request.

What would happen if you said yes?  Perhaps:

  • You would be considered ‘one of us’
  • It would make your friend happy
  • Your visibility with other people may be improved
  • It would make you miserable

Would you feel comfortable with your self if you were to say yes, even though you knew it would not be in your best interests?

Saying “no” is hard for so many of us.  A false sense of guilt often comes into play.  Whether this guilt has its foundation in religion, a proper upbringing, or a world view that simply says “it’s not nice to say no”, we know it is there lurking in the background and make decisions  based upon it, even though deep down, we know it is not right for us.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

 

So you have made the decision, after scientifically weighing the results of your cost/benefit analysis, to honestly say “NO”.  Practice it in the mirror. Say it clearly and self-assuredly.….in the mirror.  Look yourself in the eye, and do it.  Just say “NO.”

Say it like you really mean it, and then say it again as if you speaking to whoever asked you the question.  When you pretend you’re speaking to the person who made the request, does it come out differently?  Practice and experiment with different ways to say “NO” until you find one you’re comfortable with.

Then go, and say “NO.”

Sometimes, if you have always given in to others,  guess what happens?  After all that practice, getting the tone right and pretending you are talking to the person who asked you the question, you may just be surprised to find that they are not willing to accept it!   They may try to push you to say yes, rephrase the question, or make a new, not altogether different, request.   This is where your personal boundaries come in to play.

Know your boundary—what ARE you willing to do?  Revisit the questions you asked yourself before. If you are really serious about saying “NO”, then stick to your guns.  Tell the person making the request that you would appreciate it if they respected your wishes and boundaries, and ask them not to ask again.  If you are comfortable expressing your “reasons why” then do so speaking from your personal perspective.

If you are going to say NO, you must say it in a way that means NO!  In a firm, yet polite voice with a firm tone.  Also, if you want to say the reasons why, keep it short and sweet.  When saying NO remember the power of non-verbal communications.  Look the person in the eye when you say the NO.  Shake your head at the same time as saying NO.  Stand up tall.

Don’t forget that when anyone asks a question of you, it is perfectly OK to say, “Can I think about that and get back to you”.   No-one should be pressurised into giving an immediate answer.  It will give you some time to think it through and to gather your thoughts.  It will also give you some time to think about how you are going to say it, the words to use and your body language.

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Practice makes perfect as they say!  Remember you must look after yourself first.  This is not selfish, it is a necessity. Practice in the mirror and soon you will:

  •  feel much more confident and proud.
  •  find that practice makes perfect—the more you confidently say “NO” the easier it becomes.
  • Others will respect your wishes and take you seriously the first time you say “NO.”
  • You won’t find yourself doing things you never wanted to do in the first place.
  •  have more time to focus on the things you do want to be involved in.
  • The list goes on from there…

I have learned  how to look after myself first and how to say no without guilt.  I have learned that my boundaries are vital to my day to day living and that once people are aware of those boundaries they respect them and me.  That isn’t to say that I always say no, I know when to say yes and when to say no.

So if you’re looking to finally take control of your life and make a change, why not drop me a line and we can talk it through.

To book in for a FREE 15 minute discovery call please Email me.

 

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor
 
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
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Find out more about me on my website.

 

“I’m ACE!” – The 7 day challenge

Here is a short confidence building exercise for you. If you are up for the challenge that is!

At the end of each day, for 7 days I want you to write down 5 things that happened throughout the day that proved that you are ACE! Now if this doesn’t come naturally to you, you’re going to have to go out and make things happen.

Don’t ignore the little things as well.

You can include such things as complimenting someone, a good piece of work you did, the 30 minutes you spent with the kids when you would normally be watching TV – write down 5 things where you have added value to something or someone each day for 7 days.

 

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GO FOR IT!

The 7 Day Challenge Template

Write out each “ACE STATEMENT” in the following format:

Number 1 was when I…

It meant that…

Afterwards I felt…

Number 2 was when I…..

It meant that…….

Afterwards I felt……

And so on until you have written down 5 things that happened throughout the day that proved that you are ACE!

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After the 7 days are up, look back over your list your will be truly amazed at how ACE you are!

The following week, repeat the exercise but with 5 new things each day, and also make a plan for each day, just like the little dog in the cartoon above.

Remind yourself of this challenge every time you feel that you are not good enough, because you are good enough and you are ACE!

Contact me today, and we can have a chat on how I can help you. There is so much more information for you to see about my coaching on my website, take a look.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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Time for action!

As a very busy coach I am lucky enough to be in a position where, on a daily basis, the fascinating people I work with tell me all about their big dreams, grand plans and compelling goals.  Dreams, plans and goals that they have possibly never shared with  another living soul.  And I can tell you that there are some amazing potential futures out there for these people!

So what will be the deciding factor as to whether these big dreams remain as dreams or become a wonderful and vibrant reality?  A few words come to mind – clarity, vision, belief, motivation, support – all play a part.  But the deciding factor in every case is – will this person take action?  Will they act upon what they want and work towards making it happen?

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All too often people don’t realise their ambitions and make their dreams a reality because their aspirations remain as something that they think about, rather than something that they do or create.  Having put all that effort into the thinking, dreaming and planning they find reasons not to do anything about it. And the fail to write them down.  Only when the dreams and aspirations are written down do they become goals.

Interestingly, the most common reason that I hear for inaction is ‘no time’.  How often do you hear people say “If only I had the time”? We all have the same number of hours in a day, it is how we manage those hours that makes the difference.

There is such a time-poor mentality around these days that we often appear to believe we have run out of time, or that there is literally none to spare because it’s already been spent on the other stuff in our lives.  Time is ‘taken up’ by so many things that  when it comes to the big goals and ambitions that require action, we don’t feel we have any left.

Added to that, the nature of some of these wonderful dreams that people have (eg. retraining for a new career) mean that they can take a certain amount of time to come to fruition, and there can be a sense of “but it would just take so long!”.

The thing is though time is passing anyway.  Regardless of whether we take action, use it constructively and make it count, it is going by at the same rate.  The real key to success is to decide to use it in the best way possible for what is most important to us.

We allow so many less important things to drain our time when we could choose at any moment to use it in a better way, in such a way that we make progress and start heading towards where we want to be.  So that in a year or two years time, we’ll be in a different place to the place we’re in now.  Well on our way to one of those compelling potential futures.  Or perhaps by that time it will be our reality?

Is it time for you to take action?

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

Do you have a dream or an ambition in which you’ve invested lots of thinking and planning time, but haven’t taken action on?  If so, keep reading!

Ask yourself:

  • What needs to happen for me to achieve this?  What are all the steps?
  • What is stopping me from taking action?  How long will I allow these things to stop me?
  • What is the one thing I could do in the next 24 hours to know that I have started taking action?
  • Will you do it?

Get in touch today and we can have a free informal chat on how I can help you to take action and achieve your goals.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Rationalising my time spent volunteering and looking after myself first

I took a long look at the time I was spending volunteering in various roles, and it was adding up to many hours each month.  I volunteer as resident Life Coach on Calder’s Confessions radio programme, read the news at the weekends for Vectis Radio, currently Chair of the Isle of Wight Independent Advisory Group for the Hampshire & Isle of Wight Constabulary.  All these roles take up my time and making a decision on which one, if any, to let go was very hard.

I weighed up how much time was spent each month on these activities, what I achieved in each role and whether I felt it advantageous for me to carry on with it.

For instance, to make a single recording of the weekly radio programme with Calder Jon, Calder’s Confessions, involves a two hour round trip in my car, reading and understanding the various problems people have written in and, of course, recording our responses.  All in all, it takes up half of my working day each week, which amounts to two whole days in a month.

I made the decision, after a lot of thought and consideration, to resign as the resident Life Coach, and reluctantly let Calder know.  He was absolutely understanding about it, and we parted on very good terms.  I am sure he will carry on as usual, and I wish him every success for the future.

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So having made this decision, what will I do with this reclaimed time of mine? I am going to work harder on my business and even harder with my clients to ensure they become the very best versions of themselves.

I am having a new leaflet designed by a professional graphic designer.  Finding the text and sorting out pictures will be fun, even if it is time consuming.  I am also having a new photo done with a professional photographer.  All this is so exciting, and I am curious to see the end results and to hand out my new leaflet to people.

Having the time to devote to this project is invaluable to me, and will, I hope, be a good aid when I am talking to new and prospective clients.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

I have created the opportunity for myself to improve my service to my clients, to improve my learning and coaching skills, to manage my time, to work more closely with my own coach and to make the balance between work and recreation more even and reduce stress and of course costs in travelling. The future is looking really good for me.

I made the decision for me, about me and without guilt.  I am practising what I advise my own clients: Look after yourself first, it is not selfish it is essential.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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