Friends come and go

 I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many and varied reasons I suspect, but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.   I have learned so much about myself over the past few years that I was unaware of before. For instance I didn’t realise until recently that I have stuffed emotions and feelings down for years because I was conditioned growing up not to show emotion or share feelings.

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close.  I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody.  Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people I really like and keep others at arms length.  Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away. The fact that other people think differently from me is perfectly okay.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way. My life is so much richer for having my friends in it.

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I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

Do you have friends in your life that you are grateful for? Have you had friends move away for one reason or another? Is your life richer for having your friends in it?

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Your accomplishment diary

A great way to remind yourself how good you are is to keep an accomplishment diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to remind myself of my accomplishments and successes after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

diary

Buy yourself a beautiful notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to the following:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?
  • What am I happy about in my life right now?
  • Why am I happy about these things?
  • What did I accomplish last week?
  • What am I excited about in my life right now?
  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life?
  • Who do I like hanging around?
  • Why do I like hanging around with them?
  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means read your answers again, or even answer the questions again, whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. And you have a lot.

I would love to hear about your experience of writing in your accomplishment diary.

Maybe you need help to begin thinking more positively about yourself.  So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ When the mind is filled with positive thoughts, cause and effect rule, resulting in a positive feeling.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of having coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching sessions can often be the only time in their busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Be honest, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do just that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

windowcleaning

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for.  I had the focus, I had the drive to work really hard, and I was making good progress.  And yet, I ended up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  I began to think that if this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a good friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being'”.  I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months, I could think of very few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘just be’.

How much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?  If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be? Be absolutely honest with yourself.

piechart

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do we choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So as we roll into the next season, what time can you make for yourself to just ‘be’?  When can you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that, to relax and recharge?  Imagine how much better you will feel when you do?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your confidence diary.

A great way to boost your confidence is to keep a confidence diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you really are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to rebuild my confidence after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

diary

Either buy yourself a notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following confidence questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take just 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?

  • What am I happy about in my life right now?

  • Why am I happy about these things?

  • What did I accomplish last week?

  • What am I excited about in my life right now?

  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life? Who do I like hanging around? Why?

  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

Getting our lives back after divorce

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means answer them again whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. You can do this whilst enjoying a nice cup of tea or coffee.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

I have found that being grateful for what I do have far outweighs worrying about what I don’t have.  This philosophy works on so many levels for me and it can work for you too.

When I decided to leave my marriage of 12 years (30 years ago), I was full of worry about what I didn’t have at that time, how I would manage, how I would survive etc.  I spent so long worrying about what I didn’t have and desiring all the things that I thought I did want, that I forgot to live as me.  I forgot all about me.  And because of that I had to hit rock bottom before I realised that I could do something about my life.

At that time I didn’t know anything different.  I had never heard of self-development, nor had I heard of life coaches who could have helped me.


Now, of course, I know differently and I always put into practice my own teachings.  I am grateful every day for all that I have, the abundance in my life.  Abundance in life, such as the wonderful area I live in, the friends I have, the trust and love of my husband, the work that I do and the lovely clients who I help daily.

Had I known about how to be grateful for what I had way back then I would probably have coped a whole lot better.  I may not have hit rock bottom, I may have lived my life differently.  I shall never know now, but it doesn’t matter.  I am living the life that I love, working with people every day who benefit from my learning and teaching. I am determined that nobody should have to reach the depths that I did before they change their lives for the better.

Today I am grateful for the smallest things as well as the huge things.  I am grateful for the sunshine today, for the little flowers popping their heads over the window box, the little birds singing, the sea, the green fields and so much more.



If you are going through a life trauma, it may help you to think about all the things you can be grateful for.  The little tiny things that come in large numbers.  They may just bring a smile on a dismal day and help you get through.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

Losing your confidence during or after divorce is very common.  I know how it feels, I lost my confidence when I got divorced. It wasn’t easy to bounce back, but I managed it.  Had I know about Life Coaches back then, I would have been first in the queue.

Here are some tips for increasing your confidence right now:

1.  Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behaviour. It works for them; it will work for you.

2.  Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.

3.  Learn from the past; don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.

4.  Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.

5.  Be prepared for situations. Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, get to it.

6.  Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.

7.  Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.

8.  Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.

9.  Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.

10.  Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is your answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.

11.  Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn’t. Many people in life major in minor things!

12.  Don’t let the words of others affect you. Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.

13.  List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.

14.  At the end of each day make a list of your achievements and successes. Watch that list grow each week.

15.  Be grateful for what you have in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?

16.  Every morning when you’re in the shower or bath, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualise all of the meetings, the people you talk to, the outcomes. Visualise success and confidence and it will happen.

17.  Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language.

18.  Emotion is created by motion. As in 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.

19.  Learn to brag about yourself.  Yes, you heard me!  Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.

20.  And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in ten or twenty years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?

Work on some or all of those now and notice the difference.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Living in the moment

I went on a road trip from the Isle of Wight to Perth in Scotland.  I left on a Monday with my husband and we drove 200 miles towing our caravan to stay overnight in a camp site in Nottingham.  The lady there was lovely and had her own little bar with real ales.  We slept there and then set off again on Tuesday for County Durham.

We drove another 200 miles and stayed for two nights in a camp site near Beamish.  The caravan site was impersonal and quite frankly money grabbing, asking for £20 deposit for the keys to the toilet block and the gate to get in and out.  We visited Beamish, the museum, on Wednesday and rode on the old trams and buses, went into the department store that sold everything you could think of, the sweet shop and the old tea rooms. It as a wonderful day out and we thoroughly enjoyed it.

caravan

On Thursday we travelled another 200 miles to Scone Palace in Perth in Scotland and spent 4 nights there at the Rewind Scotland Festival. Loads of 80s bands were playing and we were doing Indian Head Massage for the punters.  It was fun, we met some lovely people on the other trade stands and the punters of course.

On Monday we set off for home, travelled 280 miles to stay in a camp site in Lancaster.  The lady there was lovely and friendly and we slept well.

On Tuesday we had another 280 mile drive to Southampton to catch the ferry back to the Isle of Wight.

How is this all connected to living in the moment you may ask?  Well, I have deliberately enjoyed the whole trip by staying in the moment and not thinking about what is going to happen when we get back.  After all, the more we stay in the moment, the more fun we have and the less worry we have. If only I had known how to do this when I going through divorce.  My life would have been so much easier.

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Interestingly, last night I began to think about what was going to happen tomorrow with my work and instantly felt a tightening in my chest.  So I deliberately stopped thinking about it and the tightness faded.  I listened to my body and to my own advice.

It has worked for me and I am feeling relaxed and energised, enjoyed the journey home.  Tomorrow is another day and I will live in the moment again, and again.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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