How we see ourselves is frequently completely different from the way others see us. That doesn’t mean that how others see us is wrong, but we can judge ourselves very easily by what we perceive other people think. This ‘self judgement’ can distort our view of ourselves. But we can change that distorted view, and become aware of who we really are and learn to accept ourselves exactly as we are.
I know that I began to learn to accept myself by working out what my subconscious beliefs were about myself. And then I began to challenge those beliefs so that I could get to a positive place where I was kind and gentle with myself instead of being harsh and critical.
I began by looking in the mirror and really seeing myself. It was hard at first, because I didn’t like looking at me. But I stuck at it and learned to accept myself just as I am.
My first suggestion is for you to practice the following exercise, it may take several attempts, but that is okay. Take as long as you need to. If it takes several days or several weeks, that is okay. If tears come along, let them flow. They won’t hurt you, but they will help you.
I would like you to look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud to yourself who you see. Speak in the third person.
- What do you see when you look at them?
- Who have they become?
- How do they feel about the life that they are living?
- Anything else?
I would like you to verify each of the beliefs you have and explain why you believe it. Write them down.
Are the beliefs true or has someone said this to you along the way? Who was it?
The second part of this exercise is much more fun. I would like you to make a list of as many opposite or neutral beliefs (opposite from those you wrote above) as you can and begin building your strong positive internal dialogue.
Think back, can you remember when you believed something negative about yourself and you managed to change your perspective to a positive way of thinking about you?
Write your new beliefs down.
- How do they want to look?
- What would they be wearing?
- How would they stand?
- What would their facial expression be like?
- Anything else?
What is this telling you?
If any of this resonates with you, get in touch and we can have a chat about how we can work together if you would like.