When our world appears to fall apart

There are occasions when our whole world seems to be falling apart around us, and we are not sure what to let go of and what to hold onto anymore. Sometimes our relationships crumble and sometimes it’s our physical environment. At other times, we can’t put our finger on it, but we feel as if all the walls have fallen down around us and we are standing with nothing to lean on, exposed and vulnerable. These occasions are the times in our lives when we have the opportunity to see where we have established our sense of identity, safety, and well-being. And while it is perfectly natural and part of our process to locate our sense of self in externals, any time those external factors shift, we have an opportunity to rediscover and move closer to our core, which is the only truly safe place to call home.

The core of our being is not affected by changing circumstance or subject to the cycles of change that govern physical reality. It is as steady and consistent as the sun, which is why the great mystics and mystical poets often reference the sun in their odes to the self. Like the sun, there are times when our core seems to be inaccessible to us, but this is just a misperception. We know that when the sun goes behind a cloud or sets for the night, it has not disappeared but is simply temporarily out of sight. In the same way, we can trust that our inner core is always shining brightly, even when we cannot quite see it.

We can cling to this core when things around us are falling apart, knowing that an inexhaustible light shines from within ourselves. Times of external darkness can be a great gift in that they provide an opportunity to remember this inner light that shines regardless of the circumstances of our lives. When our external lives begin to come back together, we are able to lean a bit more lightly on the structures we used to call home, knowing more clearly than ever that our true home is that bright sun shining in our core.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk


How you see yourself

How you see yourself begins with a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your ‘self-ideal’ is a description of the person you would very much like to be, if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities.  Not only that, you constantly strive to behave consistently with them. Successful people are usually very clear about being excellent in every part of their lives. Unsuccessful people frequently have fuzzy ideals.  

When you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallises.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life. Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you create and accept. Be careful of the limits you set for yourself.  Are they in your best interest? Could you stretch those limits?  Do you have a vision of the very best person you could possibly become? How would you behave each day if you already were that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people? Make that picture as bright and colourful as you can.  Hear what you hear, see what you see, feel what you feel.  Make it brighter and step into that picture.  Add smells and textures if you can.  Really be the person you are envisioning.

There are more things you can do immediately to put your ideas into action. Dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals for yourself.  Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead. Step outside of your comfort zone.  Make sure the goals you set are achievable by you, or you will become very disappointed if you fail to achieve them. Think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person. You will immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Not only that, other people will notice too.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

My year’s experiences – 2020

This year began in a relatively ordinary way. We had booked to stay at an hotel for our birthday celebrations in January and that went very well indeed.  We were well looked after and enjoyed ourselves at the Royal Hotel in Ventnor.

The month was also filled with various volunteering sessions, with the IAG, Vectis Radio and, because we had been given a grant to make the ‘For Women By Women’ radio shows myself and Kitty Lilley began interviewing some of our extraordinary women beginning with Sheila Wilson from Sugar & Spice Lingerie about what is available for women, how to go about getting fitted for bras and what is available for women with physical challenges, Karen Robb from Dornellie about the dos and don’ts of wedding dresses etc., Sarah Sandbach from Athestudio about staying healthy through fitness and exercise, and Lucy Trill from Thairapy about anything you can think of to do with hair, the scalp, staying healthy etc.. All experts in their fields, and each interview lasted about an hour.

Mind the Gap courses were going extremely well and the results for the men and women who had been through domestic abuse were outstanding.  They all made positive changes to their lives and moved forward more confidently.  I attended the Domestic Abuse Forum hosted by the IoW Council and that was very good indeed. 

February began with a beautiful 8 course meal at the Wheatsheaf in Yarmouth, cooked by Shaun Rayner for his Titanic evening.  We sat a table with a lovely couple and their son.  It was lovely, unrushed and very enjoyable.  The interviews continued with Michele Newton from Four Seasons Cookery Academy talking about nutrition for various ages of women.  Such an expert in food and nutrition.  Two more interviews were with Esme Connelly Chiropractor talking about how beneficial this is for women in particular and Caroline Hole talking about body confidence and self esteem. Carys Gladdish told us all about the workings of the Women’s Institute and where women can find them and what they can expect. Then Holly Cade photographer talking about how she got to become a photographer, her experiences and advice for young people who would like to become photographers.  Such interesting subjects from these experts. The pantomime by the Wight Strollers was a must, and of course it was up to it’s usual high standard and we loved it.

For our wedding anniversary we went for a meal at a restaurant in Yarmouth.  I’ll say nothing more about that except we won’t be going back.

February also brought the Ladies’ Night I had organised for the Masonic event.  We held it at the Royal Hotel in Ventnor and it was spectacular.  The band Blackfoot Daisy played and they were amazing.  The food was brilliant and the company mostly good.

March saw interviews with Kitty Lilley about mental health and wellbeing, such a wise lady and Fran Collins, CEO of Red Funnel about how she got to where she is, her career, her pets and pirates.  An extraordinary interview with a lovely lady. My car got serviced and had an MOT and some new tyres.

Mid March saw the beginning of the lock down and everything ground to a halt.  I began to look for local companies to begin to deliver to us.

In April most physical meetings were transferred to Zoom or other online services.  I found Four Winds Dairy for our milk delivery,  Island Foods for our meat delivery, The Barrow Boys for our vegetable delivery, Tomato Stall for our tomato delivery and Grace’s Bakery who delivered placed orders. We have deliveries from them regularly now.  The quality of the produce is amazing and we shall stick with them.  Easter was very quiet.

May was very quiet again, even over the two Bank Holidays. 

June and July were very quiet.  We did interview Sarah Scotcher about her career, her involvement with the Wight Strollers and of course the famous pantomimes.  An extraordinary lady.

 In August we again stayed at the Royal Hotel in Ventnor for a couple of nights, because we could. I did some training in emergency first aid to gain a certificate for the Vectis Radio 4Ps Training School CIO and also did some online training with the IoW Council to become a chaperone.  I passed all these and had an interview with a Council Officer and was granted a chaperone licence.

In September I was given a job for a day with a film company and duly did all I was asked looking after some teenage boys who were extras on the film and enjoyed the day. The Break the Cycle Mind the Gap leaflets were requested by the Domestic Abuse team at the Council and they want to advertise the courses and include them in their current packages.

In October I was again given a job as a chaperone for the same film company but with a different group of younger boys.  I did all I was asked and more and enjoyed the day.

In November I decided that I no longer want to be a chaperone as the people from the agency and the film company are not, in my opinion, trustworthy and will do anything to protect their egos and blame others for their own mistakes and shortcomings.  A valuable lesson learned. No grudges held.

December brought Christmas, but before that a trip on the Santa Special at IoW Steam Railway, followed by a visit to the Donkey Sanctuary for lunch and then dinner and an overnight stay at the Royal Hotel in Ventnor. A great day indeed.  We visited my mum in Dorset to give her Christmas and birthday presents, she was 97 on Boxing Day. We took her lunch and then we came home for our evening meal.  It was good to see her for a few hours.

All through the year we have had special film nights on a Saturday, as if we were at the cinema and in fact we ‘went’ to the ‘Old Vic’ theatre to see A Christmas Carol starring Andrew Lincoln and it was brilliantly done via live stream.

So what have I learned this year? Most people are genuine, some people are only out for their own good and to boost their own egos, some cannot admit their mistakes so find a scapegoat to try and appear perfect, some make things up.  Most people, I have found, are genuine and can be trusted. I shall continue to be my authentic self.

Let us hope that 2021 is a much better year for us all.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Experiencing a breakdown

Most of us have, at one time or another had the experience of holding back our emotions for such a long time, for whatever reason,  that when these emotions finally come out, we have something resembling a breakdown. For a while, the overwhelming flood of feelings coursing through our bodies consumes us, and we stop functioning. Often, these outbursts take us by surprise, welling up within us as we drive to or from work, watch a movie, or engage in some otherwise mundane task. We might feel like we don’t know what triggered us, or if we do know, it does not make any sense of our overpowering emotional response. This is because we are releasing feelings that have accumulated over a long time, and whatever inspired the release was just a catalyst for a much larger, much needed catharsis.

When we find ourselves in the middle of such an experience, it is important that we allow it to happen, rather than fight it or try to shut down. Wherever we are, we can try to find a private, safe place in which to let our feelings out. If we can’t find such a place immediately, we can promise to set aside some time for ourselves at our earliest possible convenience, perhaps taking a day off work. The important thing is that we need to give our emotional system some much-needed attention. It is essential that we allow ourselves to release the pent-up emotions inside ourselves so that they do not create imbalances in our bodies and minds.

When you are feeling better, and you will, make a plan to find a way to process your emotions more regularly. You can do this by employing a coach or a therapist or making a regular date to talk to a trusted friend. Journaling can also be a great way to acknowledge and release your emotions, as can certain forms of meditation. Making room in your life for tending your emotions on a regular basis will keep you healthy, balanced, and ready for life.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Beneath the noise

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

You may have noticed that when you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise adds to the chaos and generally only hurts your throat, and still you are not heard.  Similarly, that small voice within each of us doesn’t try to compete with the constant mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. When we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath all that surrounding noise.

color closeup picture of redhead lady ear

It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalised from childhood or from our culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the centre of our being, and their urgency is what grabs our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence.  Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away.

We often find that our own communications in the world will be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and self-confidence.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Enjoying the outdoors

Dining outdoors is a tradition that spans many cultures and has withstood the test of time. A picnic eaten under open sky in the company of loved ones is an occasion in its own right. The very character of picnics, by virtue of their bringing together so much that is pleasing to humanity, makes them a wonderful way to unwind from stress, reconnect with people and nature, and create new memories. There is something magical about picnicking. A blanket, a basket, and a landscape pleasing to the eye intensify the deliciousness of food and help us see the beauty of lazy afternoons spent in nature.

Thoughts of picnics enjoyed in the past bring to mind images as varied as we are because the experience of dining outdoors with pleasant companions can unfold in a myriad of ways. We tend to picnic at the park or on the beach out of necessity, enjoying nourishment in the open air to prolong playtime. But botanical gardens, nature reserves, and our own gardens can also offer wonderful picnicking venues. Similarly, we associate quintessential summertime foods with picnics, though almost any category of cuisine can be enjoyed picnic style. Refreshing, light foods such as freshly sliced fruit and crisp salads are particularly invigorating on hot summer days. Anticipation of and preparing the food can be just as exciting as the picnic itself. Provisions are only one component of a picnic, however. Games of cards, rounders, cricket, or other simple, traditional pastimes can provide a secondary focus that expands the scope of your outing beyond foodstuffs. Connecting with nature during your picnic can be an easy way to fit in a meditation; whether you lay down under a tree to watch squirrels play or sit by a stream to take in the sounds of trickling water. Remember, too, that if it should happen that your well-planned picnic is disrupted by inclement weather, the pleasures of good company and good food are rendered no less enjoyable when savoured on a blanket spread indoors.

Though a solitary picnic can be a treat, picnicking is an activity best shared with the people you care for. Spending time outdoors with others to eat and to play and to be merry will revitalise you, reminding you that life’s most sacred pleasures are often the simplest.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Perception

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are affected by our perceptions – delight and despair come from within rather than from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious cause us no end of grief.

neon signage

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

The Universe is often unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we make of it.

If you are working in a job you dislike, you can think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your perspective, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

A short getaway

We often think of a holiday as something that requires an enormous amount of preparation, but small daylong excursions can be just as refreshing and fulfilling as a week away.  A short drive can transport you in the countryside or into a world of novel experiences and blissful relaxation. A day trip can be a wonderful way to unwind from the stresses of a routine existence. And when you choose to share your day trip with someone you care about, a leisurely drive becomes a chance to talk about childhood, recall favourite songs, or simply spend time enjoying the company.

van parked beside the road near handrail and ocean

Photo by gya den on Pexels.com

Living here on the Isle of Wight you won’t be surprised to see how many day-trip possibilities exist within a mere hour’s time from your home. Forests, beaches,  rivers, parks, coastal viewpoints can serve as the perfect spot for a mini holiday. The physical and mental rejuvenation you experience in an unfamiliar and engaging setting are enhanced by just being still with nature. Though the cost of fuel can make taking a day trip seem frivolous, and our commitment to environmental well-being may cause us to hesitate before utilising our cars in this manner, there are numerous ways we can effectively offset our carbon signature while still seeing to the needs of ourselves on a soul level.

Since day trips tend to require much smaller investments of time and money than traditional outings, you can enjoy a diverse range of experiences day by day. On one day, you may be motivated by a need to connect with your natural heritage to explore a park or nature reserve. On another, your curiosity can inspire you to visit an historical site that has long piqued your interest. In the end, where you go will often be less important than your willingness to broaden your horizons by removing yourself from the environment already so familiar to you. Each mini getaway you take will imbue your existence with a sensation of renewal that prepares you for whatever lies ahead.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The pros and cons of partaking of live-streaming modules of learning, in my experience.

Several years ago I undertook a year long course in a particular aspect of coaching. This involved several weekends in the year attending a physical two day learning session in London or I could stay at home and live-stream the event.  The costs for the physical course or live streaming were very similar.  I opted mostly for the physical attendance, but the very last weekend I opted for the live-streaming.  I have to say it was extremely good, it was almost as if you were in the room and I, and the other live-streamers, was included in the discussions, the break out sessions were well managed with little groups of people able to chat with each other and see each other from all over the world. It worked very well indeed.

laptop beside peach color wall

Photo by bongkarn thanyakij on Pexels.com

A year or so later I wanted to attend another course, this time with different facilitators.  There were to be several physical weekends or live-streaming.  I plumped for the live-streaming as I had such a good experience the last time.  The costs of the course were similar to attending in person. What a mistake! This time basically there was a camera set up to video the main speakers. The camera did not move. The rest of the physical audience could not be seen. There was no interaction with the speakers or audience.  The break out sessions were laughable with half of the people asleep, gone for a tea break or not interested in talking.  At the end of the learning for the day the facilitators had to be reminded that there were still people live-streaming.  They admitted they had forgotten about them.  I didn’t attend any further sessions with them and gained a refund.

Beware of what is being offered to you.  Ask what you are getting, how you are getting it, if you will be involved.  Get good value for your money as these events are not cheap.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

Understanding your feelings

When faced with new challenges or opportunities, we may diagnose ourselves as feeling scared when what we are really feeling is excited.  Often we don’t know how to welcome the thrill of a new opportunity, and so we choose to back off, indulging our anxiety instead of awakening our courage. One way to inspire ourselves to embrace the opportunities that come our way is to look more deeply into our feelings and see that butterflies in our stomach or a rapidly beating heart are not necessarily a sign that we are afraid. Those very same feelings can be translated as excitement, curiosity, passion, and even love.

woman covering her face using both hands

Photo by Wildan Zainul Faki on Pexels.com

Of course there is nothing wrong with being afraid as long as we do not let it stop us from doing the things that excite us. Most of us assume that brave people are fearless, but the truth is that they are simply more comfortable with fear because they face it on a regular basis. The more we do this, the more we feel excitement in the face of challenges rather than anxiety. The more we cultivate our ability to move forward instead of backing off, the more we trust ourselves to be able to handle the new opportunity, whether it’s a new job, an exciting move, or a relationship. When we feel our fear, we can remind ourselves that maybe we are actually just excited. We can assure ourselves that this opportunity has come our way because we are meant to take it.

Framing things just a little differently can dramatically shift our mental state from one of resistance to one of openness. We can practice this new way of seeing things by saying aloud: I am really excited about this job interview. I am really looking forward to going on a date with this amazing person. I am excited to have the opportunity to do something I have never done before. As we do this, we will feel our energy shift from fear, which paralyses, to excitement, which empowers us to direct all that energy in the service of moving forward, growing, and learning.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk