Self acceptance

How we see ourselves is frequently completely different from the way others see us.  That doesn’t mean that how others see us is wrong, but we can judge ourselves very easily by what we perceive other people think.  This ‘self judgement’ can distort our view of ourselves. But we can change that distorted view, and become aware of who we really are and learn to accept ourselves exactly as we are.

I know that I began to learn to accept myself by working out what my subconscious beliefs were about myself. And then I began to challenge those beliefs so that I could get to a positive place where I was kind and gentle with myself instead of being harsh and critical.

I began by looking in the mirror and really seeing myself.  It was hard at first, because I didn’t like looking at me.  But I stuck at it and learned to accept myself just as I am.

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My first suggestion is for you to practice the following exercise, it may take several attempts, but that is okay.  Take as long as you need to.  If it takes several days or several weeks, that is okay.  If tears come along, let them flow.  They won’t hurt you, but they will help you.

I would like you to look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud to yourself who you see.  Speak in the third person.

  • What do you see when you look at them?
  • Who have they become?
  • How do they feel about the life that they are living?
  • Anything else?

 

I would like you to verify each of the beliefs you have and explain why you believe it. Write them down.

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Are the beliefs true or has someone said this to you along the way? Who was it?

The second part of this exercise is much more fun.  I would like you to make a list of as many opposite or neutral beliefs (opposite from those you wrote above) as you can and begin building your strong positive internal dialogue.

Think back, can you remember when you believed something negative about yourself and you managed to change your perspective to a positive way of thinking about you?

Write your new beliefs down.

  • How do they want to look?
  • What would  they be wearing?
  • How would they stand?
  • What would their facial expression be like?
  • Anything else?

What is this telling you?

If any of this resonates with you, get in touch and we can have a chat about how we can work together if you would like.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Australia Trip – Learnings and Reflections

It has been five weeks now since I landed back in the UK after visiting my good friend Heather in Melbourne, Australia.  I have been thinking about the trip and what it has taught me.

The flights in themselves were uneventful.  Although each flight was about six hours, and there were three flights to get to Australia, and another three flights to get home, I was entertained with films, tv, music, snacks and meals.  On reflection it seemed to take less time to get to Australia than it did to get home.  I think it felt that way because of the anticipation and excitement of flying all that way for the first time and meeting Heather in person that made it feel that way.

And it seemed to take longer coming home because I had only landed in Australia six days before and therefore I was travelling thousands of miles in a very short space of time.

I learned that it doesn’t matter what time it is, I can eat noodles in mid air.  I learned I can cat nap on a flight, but not sleep properly (although I presume if I had gone business class I would have been able to sleep relatively well).

I learned that travelling all that way to support my friend made her feel better, which in turn made her husband Geoff feel better.  I found it very humbling to receive the thanks of Heather and Geoff for visiting. It is something I wanted to do, and if I hadn’t done it I know I would have regretted it.

I learned what true friendship is and how it works both ways.  I learned how friendly the Australian people I met are.  Every single one of them that I met welcomed me into their lives, into their homes and wouldn’t allow me to contribute any money for anything. That too is humbling.  Heather’s friend Susan drove us around to visit a couple of local towns.  This was very kind of her and I felt really grateful to her for giving up her time for me.

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Heather and I with Alfred the Bear

I learned that I can travel on my own, and that I can find my way around an airport, locate the baggage reclaim and find the exit.  I learned that I am capable of travelling literally half way round the world on my own, of organising the trip on my own, sorting out currency to take with me and changing sterling for Brunei dollars at Brunei Airport so I could buy a cup of coffee.

On coming home I learned how much I had been missed by Kelvin, and how much I missed him too.  This is the first time we have been apart for longer than a day or two for many years.

I had been invited to a wedding reception in the evening on the Saturday after my return from Australia.  I thought to myself, do I really want to go to Rookley on my own (Kelvin was working), a journey of about 15 miles.  I said to myself ‘I have been to f***ing Australia on my own, I am sure I can get to Rookley’ and off I went and had a very good time seeing my friend Laura and her new husband Jamie.  If I can fly to Australia on my own, I am sure I can do an awful lot more now.  My comfort zone has expanded dramatically and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be.  In fact, I only wish I had been able to break out of the comfort zone sooner.

Kelvin told me he is very proud of me, not only for doing this, but for arranging it all on my own.  That makes me feel really good and it is wasn’t until he said that and explained that it was a really huge thing to do that I realised just what I had achieved. I am feeling very proud of myself as well as privileged to have met so many lovely people in Australia.

I know that I achieved what I set out to achieve and that is supporting my friend Heather.  The bonus is that I achieved several firsts for me and now maybe there is no limit to what I can achieve in the future.

If this resonates with you and you would like to step out of your comfort zone but are not sure where to start, contact me and we can have a chat about how I can help you.

Maggie Currie

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