Five Things to start rebuilding your self-esteem

Our primary relationship in life is with ourselves. No one else goes through our  experiences in life in the same way. We are our own constant companion, and often our worst critic. To remind ourselves of our abilities, we can do the five things I like about myself exercise.

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Begin by writing down at least five things that you like about yourself. Don’t be modest.  If you are having trouble coming up with a total of five items, you know that this exercise can really benefit you.  Make sure you include more than your physical attributes on your list, since our bodies are only part of who we are. If you are still struggling with what to include on your list, think of what you like about your favourite people, because these traits are probably qualities that you possess too. Another way to complete your list is to think of five things you don’t like about yourself and find something about these traits that you can like.

Carry on this exercise for a week, thinking of five new things you like about yourself every day. At the end of the week, read the list aloud to yourself while standing in front of a mirror. Instead of looking for flaws to fix, allow the mirror to reflect your attributes. You may feel silly about standing in front of a mirror and reading aloud a list of your admirable attributes, but it might just bring a smile to your face and change the way you see yourself. Remember, it is when you feel the most resistant that this exercise can benefit you the most. Because we are constantly looking at the world, instead of looking at ourselves, we don’t often see what’s magnificent about ourselves that others do. When we take the time to experience ourselves the way we would experience someone we love and admire, we become our best companion and supporter on life’s journey.

When you want to learn to relax and have more fun in your life and less stress,  contact me and begin your journey. I would love to work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Blaming Others

When we understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we could feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behaviour. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behaviour.

orange and white shoes

Photo by Aidan Roof on Pexels.com

Perhaps the problem lies with the action of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward with the feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands. We begin to trust our innate thinking.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.

When you are ready to learn to relax and have more fun in your life,  contact me and begin your journey. I would love work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Self acceptance

How we see ourselves is frequently completely different from the way others see us.  That doesn’t mean that how others see us is wrong, but we can judge ourselves very easily by what we perceive other people think.  This ‘self judgement’ can distort our view of ourselves. But we can change that distorted view, and become aware of who we really are and learn to accept ourselves exactly as we are.

I know that I began to learn to accept myself by working out what my subconscious beliefs were about myself. And then I began to challenge those beliefs so that I could get to a positive place where I was kind and gentle with myself instead of being harsh and critical.

I began by looking in the mirror and really seeing myself.  It was hard at first, because I didn’t like looking at me.  But I stuck at it and learned to accept myself just as I am.

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My first suggestion is for you to practice the following exercise, it may take several attempts, but that is okay.  Take as long as you need to.  If it takes several days or several weeks, that is okay.  If tears come along, let them flow.  They won’t hurt you, but they will help you.

I would like you to look at yourself in the mirror and say out loud to yourself who you see.  Speak in the third person.

  • What do you see when you look at them?
  • Who have they become?
  • How do they feel about the life that they are living?
  • Anything else?

 

I would like you to verify each of the beliefs you have and explain why you believe it. Write them down.

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Are the beliefs true or has someone said this to you along the way? Who was it?

The second part of this exercise is much more fun.  I would like you to make a list of as many opposite or neutral beliefs (opposite from those you wrote above) as you can and begin building your strong positive internal dialogue.

Think back, can you remember when you believed something negative about yourself and you managed to change your perspective to a positive way of thinking about you?

Write your new beliefs down.

  • How do they want to look?
  • What would  they be wearing?
  • How would they stand?
  • What would their facial expression be like?
  • Anything else?

What is this telling you?

If any of this resonates with you, get in touch and we can have a chat about how we can work together if you would like.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Australia Trip – Learnings and Reflections

It has been five weeks now since I landed back in the UK after visiting my good friend Heather in Melbourne, Australia.  I have been thinking about the trip and what it has taught me.

The flights in themselves were uneventful.  Although each flight was about six hours, and there were three flights to get to Australia, and another three flights to get home, I was entertained with films, tv, music, snacks and meals.  On reflection it seemed to take less time to get to Australia than it did to get home.  I think it felt that way because of the anticipation and excitement of flying all that way for the first time and meeting Heather in person that made it feel that way.

And it seemed to take longer coming home because I had only landed in Australia six days before and therefore I was travelling thousands of miles in a very short space of time.

I learned that it doesn’t matter what time it is, I can eat noodles in mid air.  I learned I can cat nap on a flight, but not sleep properly (although I presume if I had gone business class I would have been able to sleep relatively well).

I learned that travelling all that way to support my friend made her feel better, which in turn made her husband Geoff feel better.  I found it very humbling to receive the thanks of Heather and Geoff for visiting. It is something I wanted to do, and if I hadn’t done it I know I would have regretted it.

I learned what true friendship is and how it works both ways.  I learned how friendly the Australian people I met are.  Every single one of them that I met welcomed me into their lives, into their homes and wouldn’t allow me to contribute any money for anything. That too is humbling.  Heather’s friend Susan drove us around to visit a couple of local towns.  This was very kind of her and I felt really grateful to her for giving up her time for me.

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Heather and I with Alfred the Bear

I learned that I can travel on my own, and that I can find my way around an airport, locate the baggage reclaim and find the exit.  I learned that I am capable of travelling literally half way round the world on my own, of organising the trip on my own, sorting out currency to take with me and changing sterling for Brunei dollars at Brunei Airport so I could buy a cup of coffee.

On coming home I learned how much I had been missed by Kelvin, and how much I missed him too.  This is the first time we have been apart for longer than a day or two for many years.

I had been invited to a wedding reception in the evening on the Saturday after my return from Australia.  I thought to myself, do I really want to go to Rookley on my own (Kelvin was working), a journey of about 15 miles.  I said to myself ‘I have been to f***ing Australia on my own, I am sure I can get to Rookley’ and off I went and had a very good time seeing my friend Laura and her new husband Jamie.  If I can fly to Australia on my own, I am sure I can do an awful lot more now.  My comfort zone has expanded dramatically and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it might be.  In fact, I only wish I had been able to break out of the comfort zone sooner.

Kelvin told me he is very proud of me, not only for doing this, but for arranging it all on my own.  That makes me feel really good and it is wasn’t until he said that and explained that it was a really huge thing to do that I realised just what I had achieved. I am feeling very proud of myself as well as privileged to have met so many lovely people in Australia.

I know that I achieved what I set out to achieve and that is supporting my friend Heather.  The bonus is that I achieved several firsts for me and now maybe there is no limit to what I can achieve in the future.

If this resonates with you and you would like to step out of your comfort zone but are not sure where to start, contact me and we can have a chat about how I can help you.

Maggie Currie

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