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Do you always need to defend yourself?

Living with people who are verbally abusive or verbally aggressive can be very demanding on your time and energy.  But does it have to be that way?

The abusive or aggressive person often wants you to defend yourself or explain yourself.  This is abusive behaviour, controlling, demeaning and only you can decide if you are willing to tolerate it.  Some people have tolerated this behaviour for many decades, probably because they are scared of what other people might say or think, scared about what would happen if they stood up to the bully, and even scared of what life would be like if they were to leave and begin a new life for themselves.

There is a lovely quote from Sophia Dembling “If you can plant yourself on solid ground in your head and heart, other people won’t be able to throw you off balance.  No need to debate or justify your stance.  Explain yourself if you want, bu you needn’t defend yourself.”

tiredwoman

The bully is usually sweetness and light when anyone else is around, but when there is nobody else there they can be constantly verbally abusive and aggressive.  This is typical behaviour from a bully who, if confronted, will usually back down because they are usually cowards too.  They want control of you and this is the only way they know how.  And because they have got away with it for years, and because you think you can’t do anything about it, they will continue in the same way.

So, what can you do about this verbally abusive and aggressive person?  You have several options available to you.  You can put up with it, you can ignore it (not so easy I know), you can try and persuade the bully to go to counselling with you or you can decide you are not going to tolerate it any longer and leave the relationship.

The excuses will roll around your head one after the other – They won’t be able to cope without me, what will I do on my own, what if…………?

Dealing with emotional abuse

But you have to decide what is best for you, and only you.  It is your life and you deserve to be able to live it in your way without the constant abuse and aggressiveness.  The abuser has chosen their path and they are happy to be on it as they are in control of you and they know exactly what they are doing to make you unhappy and make you believe that if you were to leave them that this would happen or that would happen, and they will come out with a large range of scenarios.  All of these scenarios will sound plausible, because that is what they are good at.  Making you feel inadequate.

So it is up to you to decide what you want to do.  Do you want to stay and be constantly verbally abused and spoken to aggressively?  If not, seek some professional help so you can make an informed decision about your life.

Are you ready to make changes? Work with me and learn to live life from the inside out gain more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

Here is a lovely testimonial from one of my clients: ‘Maggie intuitively knew that the path I was on wasn’t the way I truly wanted to go. She allowed me to see that my passions were elsewhere and opened my mind to the possibilities ahead of me. I changed my path and have never looked back. Maggie was totally right.’ – MV, UK

So get in touch with me today.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

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Getting rid of stuff can be good

I was looking through my folder of coaching stuff that I have collected over the years.  It was all contained in a folder that had 50 clear A4 sized pockets, and it was crammed with information.

There was information about NLP, about the ‘right’ questions to ask a client, about how to frame questions and so much more. Although I qualified as an NLP Practitioner, I don’t use NLP as it never feels right to me.  That is my personal opinion and not a judgement on the subject.

Looking through my folder I began to think about when I had last looked at the information contained in it.  I came to the conclusion that it must have been about five years ago, and then I remembered that when I had looked through the folder before a coaching session with one of my clients, I had closed it again because nothing had jumped out at me that was useful to me or the client.

flat world

It came to me that I had been indulging myself in flat earth thinking.  In the distant past people thought the earth was flat. They designed huge anchors for the ships so they wouldn’t fall off the edge.  They didn’t sail too far away from land in case they fell off the edge. They built tall lookout posts on top of the masts so someone could make sure they didn’t reach the edge of the earth and fall off.  It is said that Christopher Columbus nearly had a mutiny on board his ship as he refused to stop sailing further and further away from land, and his crew thought they would all fall off the end of the earth. He didn’t of course.

I had been guilty of flat earth thinking. I thought I needed all the bumph and information I had collected over the past decade to be a good coach.  I thought if I got rid of it then I would lose all my abilities. Of course, I don’t need it all.  I have all I need within myself. I am enough. I love the work I do and my clients get great results.  So why hang on to it all? No reason at all.

It is all gone. Every bit of it.

iStock_000005988115Medium (2)

So I am back in the driving seat of my life.  And if you would like to get back in the driving seat of your life, get clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are. Get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

This is what one of my clients commented after working with me a few years ago:

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.” – SR, USA

Are you ready to make changes? Working with me and learning to live life from the inside out will bring you more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

So get in touch with me today.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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The future is in your imagination

I was reading a post that a friend created on Facebook.  I am going to call her Anne. It went something along the lines of she had to travel to London on the train tomorrow and there will be a strike.  She made up this scenario of thousands of people trying to cram themselves onto a train to get into London.  Anne thought she would be late for a meeting.  She was worrying that she would be late and so the thoughts went on.

Anne was thinking about the future, and the future hasn’t happened yet.  It is in our imaginations.  It isn’t reality.  Just the like the past – it was our reality once, but not any longer.  The only reality we have is now in this moment.  The future isn’t our reality because it hasn’t happened yet.

Stressed Businesswoman

So today, in her actual reality, Anne has found that the train she got on was fairly empty, she got a seat and she got to London on time for her meeting.  This is Anne’s reality now.

All that worrying Anne did about whether she would be late, be squashed on a train made her anxious in the moment.  That was her reality.  Anxious thinking.  Anne’s imagination had created this whole scenario and she believed it.

We have somewhere in the region of 80,000 thoughts a day.  Some of them we are totally unaware of, these thoughts are the ones that keep us alive.  We don’t consciously think breathe in, breathe out thousands of times a day. We don’t consciously think about driving when we drive.  Those thoughts are in our subconscious and run in the background.

The thoughts we are aware of in our conscious mind are the ones that flit in and out of our heads.  Some of them we catch and some of them pass through with little or no notice.

We don’t have to believe all the thoughts that appear in our mind.  We can recognise them and discard them, we can recognise and believe them.  But we don’t have to believe them all, especially the ones that are about future events and how bad or good they are going to be. The future is in our imaginations.

iStock_000002405095Small (2)

 

Do you want clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are?

Are you ready to make changes? Working with me and learning to live life from the inside out will bring you more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

So get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Why, what, how and what?

Why would you want to work with me?

I have over a decade of experience as a coach and mentor and have worked with an amazing array of people from all walks of life.

Here is a comment from one of my clients in the USA:

“‘Oh, what a wonderful call I just had with Maggie, she has a way of coaxing out of me things and putting others in proper perspective. Feeling so much better, the little residual of melancholy about the fourth of July was gone by the end of the call. Great feeling letting it go. Now to get on with the rest of the day I am feeling very upbeat’.” – VB, USA

Additionally I have extensive qualifications, having worked hard on my own personal and professional development:

And I am currently working with Jenny and Rudi Kennard to become an Innate Wellbeing Facilitator.

My vast experience includes:

graduated

What do I provide?

Coaching and mentoring either individually or in groups to help you reach clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are?

I can help you with:

  • Personal development
  • Career development
  • Anxieties and stress
  • Relationship issues
  • Limiting inner beliefs

and so much more………………………

Here is a comment from a gentleman I coached a few years ago:

“I was helped immensely by Maggie in finding my way with the career I wanted, She was non judgemental and patient and made me focus on what I really wanted. I knew she was a good coach, but it wasn’t until I implemented what I learned that found out what a great coach Maggie is. Can’t recommend her highly enough.” – CG, UK

I provide results for my clients.

theworldisyourcanvas

How does it work?

Initially we will have a completely free, no obligation chat.  We will get to know each other better and I will get a sense of what is you want to achieve.  If you and I agree to work together, we will get a date in the diary for your first coaching session.

Case study:

A young lady came to me saying she was unhappy in her life and working together she came to realise that her relationship with her partner was stagnating.  She made the decision to leave the relationship.  Since then she has found her soul mate and challenged herself to do some really challenging things in her life.  To name a few things she has achieved:  Gone through astronaut training at NASA, experienced weightlessness in a plane, taught a class in Italy and many other things.

Here is a comment from a gentleman I worked with:

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK

top100coaches

What if you did work with me?

Everyone of us was born for greatness and we knew that, until we forgot! Working with me will help you remember again.

When you start to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of living your life, your transformations will begin and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

If you do nothing but hope your life will change, it won’t.  Be certain your life will change when you work with me.

So get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

I am offering YOU 3 coaching sessions for the bargain price of £247 (usually £1500). So grab a bargain whilst you can!  Offer ends 31st October 2016.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Have you ‘neglected’ YOU over the summer?

Are you ready to get things back on track?

There has never been a better time to get serious about YOU! You probably think that you would like some help re-focusing.

Work with me…………….. Let’s get ready to do this!

I am offering YOU 3 coaching sessions for the bargain price of £247 (usually £1500).

Now the children are back at school, college or university the hours in the day open up for YOU again, and now is a fantastic time of year to concentrate on your needs.

Working with me you will:

• Learn to live life from the inside out
• Gain more freedom, more fun and less stress

If you do nothing but hope your life will change, it won’t. Be certain your life will change when you work with me.

Now is the time to begin focusing on YOU again.

Scoop up the golden courage dust in both hands and take the plunge.

golden courage dust

Get in touch today to have a chat about how we can work together to re-focus you and reverse that ‘neglect’.

I am offering YOU 3 coaching sessions for the bargain price of £247 (usually £1500). So grab a bargain whilst you can!  Offer ends 31st October 2016.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Writing a book

I have been amazed by the ‘success’ of some authors who have become number one best selling authors with each book they have written.

Some have truly earned that status, by selling thousands of copies of their books over a period of time, either through online bookshops, downloads and, of course, physical books in traditional or non-traditional bookshops.

There are many ways to publicise your books, but I note there are a few people who think it is perfectly okay for them to ask everyone on their ‘list’ plus their relatives, employees and pets to pre-order whatever book they are promoting this week.  This makes the book rise in the rankings before it is even released, so on the day of release it appears at number one.

All well and good, and fabulous to have so much recognition for your hard work.  And of course they can now legitimately say that they are number one best selling authors.

 

book

I have read some fascinating books over the past couple of years, and I don’t think any of them were described as being number one best sellers.  Some of them were so gripping that I couldn’t put them down, others were very informative and I learned a lot from, some were factual and I also learned a lot from them.

When I see advertisements for events run by someone who claims that they are a three times number one best selling author, I wonder how they achieved this accolade.  Have I been missing something when it comes to their writing? Have I missed something when it comes to my writing?

I’m not sure. All I know is that my books were written from the heart, based on my own experiences during my life, and are designed to help other people to begin to believe in themselves again.  None of them are number one best sellers yet, but I do know they have been bought and read by people all over the world.  I do know that some of the people who have read them have made significant changes in their lives for the better.  I do know that I loved writing them, holding the finished product in my hand and seeing them on the bookshelves of the bookshop and online.

Dealing with emotional abuse

People have bought them because they wanted to read them.  They wanted to change something about their lives.  I am immensely proud of my achievements in writing and being published.

If you would like to know more about my books, or find out more about me, then please visit my website.

Maybe you would like to find out more about living in the moment and re-vitalising your self-worth,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

 

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How do I know I have low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there.  For me the following was very true:

  • I didn’t think I was good enough.
  • I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.
  • I didn’t look after myself, I put others first.
  • I let people manipulate me.
  • I was in a bad relationship.
  • I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.
  • I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn’t think I knew anything.
  • I was verbally and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession.  This situation went on for 12 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.  Whilst in that relationship I had no idea that it wasn’t normal, I thought every marriage was the same.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I woke up one morning and a thought crept into my mind.  This is not normal, there has to be something different.  I summoned the courage to seek some help and explained my situation to a solicitor and he confirmed it was not normal. I decided there and then I had to get out of that relationship.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope.  My self-esteem went down even further.

Something had to change, and there was one day that sticks in my mind when things began to change.  I had the flu and the children all had chicken pox.  We were sitting huddled in the living room trying to keep warm and I had only one coin left for the electric meter.  Something had to change and very soon or none of us were going to get through this.

I phoned my parents and asked them to bring me some 50p pieces for the meter.  This didn’t change anything immediately, but it did help us to get better.  I resolved that I could get a job, I was capable and I was going to change mine and my children’s lives.

The very next week I went out and got a job cooking school meals in the school my children attended.  It meant I was there when they went to school and when they came home. I was there in the school holidays.  But it also meant I was independent, no longer reliant on benefits and other people.  I was changing my life.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Well I can assure you, there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I run two successful businesses that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 32 years to a wonderful man who loves me.  I have spent over a decade as a life coach and mentor and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it. I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that’s why I can help so many people.  I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

Dealing with emotional abuse

 

So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

  • Stop thinking that you are not good enough. You most definitely are.
  • Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish – it is essential.
  • Before you think that you don’t have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.
  • There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it , open your mind to it.
  • Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you now in this moment.

By changing your attitude towards yourself other people will change their attitudes towards you, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and rebuilding your self-esteem,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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Stress – what is it?

Have you set yourself goals that you think you want to achieve?  If so, are they actually achievable?  And more importantly are they really necessary?

There is stress around setting goals.  You make them mean something about your worth and value and this creates pressure as you strive to achieve them.  And if you do achieve them, will there still be something missing?

screaming

So, let’s imagine you want to test out how stressed you are.

If you feel you have to make it happen you are putting a huge responsibility on your shoulders.  You think you are on your own.  You work hard at gaining more knowledge, you work harder and keep a very tight control.  You make it all about your personal commitment and discipline.  You want to prove yourself to yourself, and to everyone else, or you think you will lose everything.

We force ourselves out of our comfort zones feeling stress and fear all the way along.

On the other hand, you could leave it all up to the Universe.  This mean you sit and wait for the conditions of your environment or in your mind to be perfect………  This is very unlikely to happen.  So you feel stressed whilst you wait.

Happy young woman with a white background

Alternatively, and more sensibly you can use your free will and make decisions from your innate wisdom and stay on course when have stressful thinking.  It is your thoughts that cause the stress, since stress itself does not exist until we create it.

So relax into what it is you want to achieve, live in the moment.  Don’t think about the future as it hasn’t happened yet.  Don’t think about what you did in the past, nothing can change that. Do what you feel is right in the moment and your stress levels will reduce and you may even find that you have no need to set goals at all.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and reducing your stress levels,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Learning to slow down – stop and smell the roses

Sometimes we are so busy that we rush through our days and lives, and we fail to notice the simple beauty of living.

We are conditioned to value speed and getting things done quickly. We are also conditioned to think that doing is far more valuable than merely being, that making the most of life is a getting as much done as we can as quickly as we can.

What I have found is that the more I try to fit in to a short space of time, the increasingly harried and disconnected I become.  I don’t notice the simple beauty of what is all around me.

When I consciously slow down, I rediscover the significance of some of the seemingly inconsequential aspects of my life.  I notice the stunning views, the sounds of the birds, the flight of the bumble bees.

I also find that I get more done by slowing down and getting that job done becomes a source of profound pleasure to me, no matter how large or small the task.

When I give myself the gift of time I reap the benefits.  I have time to indulge my curiosity, to enjoy the moment, to sit and think, to connect with other people and with myself and to appreciate my world.

flowers

Taking my time is not being inefficient or lazy.  By working at a slower pace I can be selective of how I use my time and can appreciate fully every moment.  Pacing myself as I address something urgent allows me to centre myself before moving ahead with my plans.

Taking that little bit of extra time can even be a boon when a situation demands haste.  When I embrace simplicity I allow myself to ignore those actions and activities that no longer benefit me. The extra time I gain can appear like a huge waste of potential.  But as I slow down, I realise that by eliminating rushing from my experiences I have more time to focus on what I really want to do.

I can relish my morning rituals, linger over quality time with my husband, immerse myself wholeheartedly in my work, and take advantage of opportunities to nurture myself every single day.

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It is challenging to avoid giving in to the temptation to rush, particularly when we are used to a world of split-second communication, mobile phones, email and overflowing agendas. Yet that sense of continuous accomplishment you lose when you slow down will quickly be replaced by feelings of contentment. Your relaxed tempo will open your mind and you will be more aware of how happy you are.

If you would like to find out more about learning to slow down, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Allowing your reality to be

There are times when we notice something about ourselves, our relationships and indeed our whole world that we feel needs to change.  Some of us expound about how something or somebody needs to change in order to achieve our desired outcome.  Others of us take action and start to work on our inner selves or work on a outer goal.

What we often find is that, without us doing anything at all, the change that we desire has happened and it would appear we have had nothing to do with it.

It could be viewed as a miracle, but in fact the change has happened from the inside out.  Our thoughts are very powerful and by accepting or rejecting some thoughts we live in the reality of our creation. Our thoughts only work one way, from the inside out.

oneway

When we are experiencing anxiety over something that may or may not happen, we are actually experiencing anxious thoughts.  There isn’t anything in the future to be anxious about, it hasn’t happened yet and indeed may never happen.  Once we accept we are experiencing anxious thinking, we can let it go and come back to our current reality.

We are built for reality and each of us has our own reality.  We each have a different experience of an event.

Business people communicating with each other against white

Take a theatrical performance.  Each and everyone in the audience will have their own experience of that performance.  Some will experience laughter, some will experience boredom, some will experience wonder and so on.  Each and every one of us lives in our reality created by our thoughts in the moment.

When you start to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of living your life, how thought generates your experiences, your transformations will begin and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live.

If you would like to find out more, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk