by

Cause and Effect

How do you live your life?  Do you live it at cause – or do you live it at effect?  And what does that mean for you?

Take two people going for interviews for a job, both have all the right credentials and experience for the role.  One of them approaches their interview from the perspective that it’s completely down to their performance as to whether they get the job or not.  They will choose how to present and project themselves and they will take 100% responsibility for their result.  They feel pretty confident and in control.

The other person is approaching their interview differently – from the perspective that they’ll do the best they can, but ultimately it’s down to the interviewer’s opinion of them and the other candidates’ performance against theirs.  They feel they have little control over the outcome, which makes them pretty nervous, and they believe that interview situations never bring out the best in them, so why should this one be any different?

Which one is more likely to be successful?  In my experience that would be the first person.  A clear example of being ‘at cause’.

iStock_000009116473XSmall

We know that a cause is something that makes something else happen.  So when we’re talking about living at cause, it’s all about causing things to happen, making choices, taking action and full responsibility.  Notice the position of power this puts you in  .

On the other side of the equation, an effect is what happens because of the cause.  So living on the effect side means having things happen to us, living with excuses and reasons why something couldn’t be, the choice and responsibility is ‘taken’ out of our hands.  It’s a feeling of powerlessness and of being the victim, in many cases.

Think about people you know at each side of the equation.  Firstly those people around you who know that if they want to do something, they will do it.  They make their decision, they choose their approach and they keep going until they achieve what they wanted.  If something isn’t working, they find another way and make it work, taking full responsibility for their goal and whatever happens on the way.  They choose to have their result.

Think about people you know on the effect side.  In situations where they want something, but see themselves at the whim of others as to whether they get it.  Setbacks are almost expected and they allow them to be setbacks.  Everything is down to outside influences, they blame others and feel powerless.  They end up with a bunch of excuses and not their result.

The interesting thing is that people on either side of the equation, whether at cause or effect, will each walk away patting themselves on the back.  Why?  Well, of course, the ‘at cause’ group chose to have their result and they got it.  While for the ‘at effect’ people it was completely out of their hands right from the start.  They found  a reason (excuse?) why they couldn’t have their result and walked away saying “see, I knew it wouldn’t work”.  Either way they were right.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

So the question to you really should be – not which side do you live at, but which side do you want to live at?  Cause or effect?  The key point here is that at any given moment, you have the choice. You either allow what’s happening to affect you and hold on to your excuses.  Or you take full responsibility for what is going on and choose to get your result.  I know which I choose!

Try this… put yourself back at Cause!

Want to know the one question that can pull you out of that powerless feeling of being ‘at effect’?

How have I chosen to create this right now?

It’s that simple.  In any situation, if you can stop, ask that question of yourself and accept that no matter how much you want to answer it with “well, actually, I didn’t create this”… you did. If you can accept 100% responsibility for what’s going on, you put yourself at cause and you immediately grant yourself the power to change it.

The next chance you get, try this.  I would love to know what result you get.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Disrespect

I am shocked at the amount of disrespect there is for people of all ages by those who are deemed ‘professionals’.

My eyes were opened to several incidents of disrespect when I was in a public waiting area awaiting being collected to go to a meeting.

The first incident went as follows: 

A teenage boy was waiting for the ‘professional’ he had an appointment with to arrive.  He waited for almost twenty minutes before she arrived.  No apologies. She just said ‘We’ve got a meeting, let’s find a room’.  Then spent several minutes trying to find somewhere for this meeting to occur.

The second incident went as follows:

Three teenage girls came to the waiting area.  One of them had an appointment with a ‘professional’.  The three girls were all clean, tidy, well dressed and had obviously made the effort to get to the appointment on time.  The ‘professional’ hadn’t arrived yet they were told.  Several times the receptionist was asked if the ‘professional’ had arrived yet, and each time they were told no.

Eventually the ‘professional’ arrived.  No apologies for being late.  Same as before trying to find a room, going up and down a corridor.

iStock_000002301243XSmall (2)

This to me is total disrespect for the teenagers who have made the effort to get to their appointments on time.  They are ready for the meetings, but the ‘professionals’ appear to have no respect for the young people.

There are many people who say that young people have no respect for their elders. In some cases this is true, but if they are treated in this fashion then why would they have any respect?  Obviously the ‘professionals’ concerned have no respect for themselves, their work or the young people or they would be there, on time, ready to go and to do their very best for these young people.

Incident three went like this:

I was waiting to go to a meeting I had been invited to which was due to start at 10am.  I arrived early and waited.  The receptionist rang whoever was in charge of the meeting to let them know I was there.  I waited for over twenty minutes and then told the receptionist that I was going since nobody had collected me and I was disappointed with the way I was being ignored.

I received an email from the notetaker of the meeting later on in the day informing me that I wasn’t on the list of people to attend the meeting, despite having been invited to the meeting.

Again, I feel there is disrespect at play here.  It seems that as I am not regarded as a ‘professional’ I am not worthy of being included their meeting.

email

Incident four went like this:

A group of ‘professionals’ were waiting to go to a meeting.  One ‘professional’ was more concerned that she had to be back at her work by 11am.  One ‘professional’ proclaimed that she was merely ticking boxes.  Such ‘professionalism’ shows a total disrespect for the subject of the meeting, whoever that was, for their own standards of ‘professionalism’ and for society as a whole.

All these incidents occurred within a very short space of time.  I am totally shocked that in this day and age people behave in this way.  There is no need to be so disrespectful of yourself, your job and the people you are there to help.  If you don’t like the job you are doing then why are you doing it?  Find something you do like doing and do it to the best of your ability.

I love my work. I am passionate about helping people to live the very best lives they can and work very hard to achieve that.  I work in a professional way and when I say I will be somewhere at a particular time, I am there, usually a few minutes before that time.

To be dismissive and not even apologise for being late is unacceptable behaviour. There will probably be the usual excuses of the traffic was bad, the bus was late, the dog escaped etc. That is blaming everyone and everything for your lateness, when in fact the only person who is responsible for you being late is you.  You are responsible for every aspect of your life, not anyone else.  If you are late it is because you didn’t allow enough time to get there. It is your responsibility to there, to be ready and to do your best for your clients. Being professional doesn’t just refer to your qualifications, it refers to your whole life.

If this resonates with you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

 

by

How to survive Valentine’s Day as a single person

Take advantage of you and really look after yourself on this day. Turn the focus of your attention to you. Buy yourself something special, something you will really love and appreciate. It maybe something that you wouldn’t usually think of buying for yourself, but on this occasion it feels right to do it. Here are some more suggestions for you to feel special on this loving day:

  • treat yourself to a day being pampered at the spa.
  • treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. It can be a take away delivered to your door.  Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and enjoy your chosen feast.
  • watch your favourite film or read a good book.
  • How about you and some of your best friends getting together to watch a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find.  Have a fun evening with people you love to be with and who love to be with you.
  • Make a Valentine’s Day resolution to love yourself.  Resolve to take some evening classes or to go on that trip you have been promising yourself.  Resolve to try new restaurants or to try new recipes.  Make a resolution that you will make a start towards the dreams you know you want to achieve.
  • If you have children why not make the day special for them as well as you.  Buy some little gifts – chocolates, stuffed toys, model cars etc. – and make a present hunt game with clues, and they can fun trying to find the gifts and you will have fun watching them.

Whatever it is you choose to do, whether it is on your own, with friends or with your children, make sure it is fun for you.

Do not:

  • Find a stranger to spend the night with.  You will regret it in the morning and make it worse for yourself when the next Valentine’s Day comes around.
  • Watch tv programmes filled with loves stories.
  • Get all dressed up at work as your colleagues will jump to conclusions and make your life a misery all day.
  • Sit at home being miserable and feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have someone to share this sill day with.
  • Beat yourself up for feeling miserable and lonely.

A great thing to do would be to wait until February 15th and then treat yourself to a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half price, or buy some flowers for yourself for half price.

chocolates

Remember, it is just one day.  It will all be over in the morning.

Plan your life around yourself and learn to really love yourself again.  This will not only be fun and interesting, but loving yourself is the basis of beginning your new life as the new, confident you.

If this resonates with you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

We are conditioned both deliberately and accidentally throughout life

As we go through life we learn a vast amount of things, and we start from the very moment we are born (some say before we are born, and they may well be right).

We are conditioned deliberately in some cases, and accidentally in others.  Deliberate conditioning often comes from our parents/guardians, from religious leaders, from teachers, group leaders such as Akela in scouts, Brown Owl in Brownies etc.

We learn how to eat our food, when to eat our food. We learn the boundaries we must adhere to in school, such as when playtime is, where we have to sit to do our work, what work we have to do, when we can talk and when we must be quiet.

Brownies are conditioned to learn new skills to gain the badges that are liberally sewn on to their sashes, and likewise with scouts.

We are conditioned to go to bed at certain times, to get up at certain times, to be seen and not heard, to not answer back, to not talk when the adults are talking, to do our homework and a million other things too.

We can be conditioned by relatives, partners, children and many other sources to behave in a particular way.  Some of those ways are for our own safety and some of them are for control of you.  You have to decide which is which.

iStock_000001171305XSmall

Accidental conditioning can come from anywhere.  For instance, a young couple got married and the new wife decided to cook a Sunday roast.  She got her leg of lamb from the butcher and broke the top part of the leg bone and put it in a roasting tin.  He new husband asked her why she broke the bone and the new wife replied ‘that’s what my mum does’.

A few weeks later the newly weds went to the new wife’s mum’s house for Sunday dinner.  The mum had got lamb and she got the joint and broke the top part of the bone and put it in the roasting tin.  Her son-in-law asked her why she did that and she replied ‘ that’s what my mum does’.

A few months down the line and the newly weds go to Grandma’s for Sunday lunch.  The new husband tells Grandma about his wife and her mother breaking the bone of the leg of lamb and explained how they said they did it because Grandma does it.  Grandma laughed and said ‘Oh, do they still do that? I only did that because I didn’t have a roasting tin big enough’, and she laughed. She had accidentally conditioned her daughter who had accidentally conditioned her daughter.

roastlamb

Think about the conditioning you have had throughout your life.  Is it still relevant now?  Do you have to do things in the same way or can you change the way you do some things?  Do you want to change things or are you happy with the way they are?

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

by

Conquer the fear of failure

Fear of failure is probably the single, greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with seeking approval and not making a mistake. The fear of failure is often expressed in the words  “I can’t”.  We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We can also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  In many cases, if we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

Going through divorce or break up of a relationship, being made redundant or retirement can trigger these feelings of failure.  But remember, you haven’t failed……the relationship failed with either your partner or your employer.  You did not fail.

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

As adults , we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  This is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has been replaced as the parent and is perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but “I have to,” and “I have to,” but “I can’t.”

We can beat  these so called fears by remembering that fear is a thought. It doesn’t exist until we think about it.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  By not thinking about fear we can make those ‘fears’ subside and they are unable to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

Put the past behind you, it cannot be changed. The future is an incomplete equation. We have no way of knowing what is going to happen in the future. If we think we know, we are making up a scenario. We are not afraid of what we think we are afraid of – we are afraid of what we think.  We can only live in this moment.  Take a deep breath, relax into this moment.  Allow yourself to just be.

tips

Remember, you are wonderful. You are a valuable and important person.  What you think is ‘failure’ is temporary and it is how you learn.  Absorb all that you learn and become the valuable and important person that you know you are.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

by

Friends and family who sap your positive energy

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. They are pleasure to know.

Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They tend to make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, ‘can do’ vibes, and that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

iStock_000006933714Medium (2)

On the other hand, we also know of those people who are the opposite and who can moan for England, and continually do so!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people have the ability to drain the energy from the room, and  they bring everyone down to their level, they make everyone feel miserable.  This is a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Have you noticed how they make you feel?

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

 

It is often the case that some family members can be a lot like this. However, whilst you can usually choose your friends, you have little or no choice with your family!

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining your positive energy you have a couple of options.  One option is to tell the draining people exactly how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it.  Interestingly if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and go to find someone else to drain. Another option is to distance yourself from the negative people, they may or may not notice.  If they do and want to know why, explain to them how you feel.  If they don’t, all to the good they are directing their negativity at someone else.

The same can be said for your family.  Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation.  Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain.  You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time for you to do something about it.

You may well find that you will make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

How to have a stress free Christmas

We all know that Christmas can be stressful.  There is the usual invasion by the family, and extended family, the standing on ceremony all day, the extra expense as well as time and frustration trying to get the Christmas dinner on the table on time.

So much to do – presents to buy, cards to write, people to see, meals to cook, worrying about money.  Panic sets in.  Then there is the worry that there are not enough hours in the week.

Perhaps you perceive that you organise everything all on your own, without appreciation, and you also perceive there is a whole lot of expectation too from those around you.  That doesn’t sound like much fun to me.  And yet it is a scenario that is described over and over again.

Is it really the case though?  Do YOU have to organise everything? Are YOU expected to do it all? Is this something YOU think you ought to do?

If you think it is something you ought to do, think again.  There are no oughts allowed. We aren’t living in the nineteenth or even the twentieth century now, we are living in the twenty first century – it is time for YOU to start looking at what it is YOU want to happen at Christmas, when YOU want it to happen, who YOU want to celebrate with, who YOU don’t want to celebrate with, whether YOU want to celebrate it at all, whether YOU want to cook a roast dinner with all the trimmings or not, whether YOU want to go to a restaurant for Christmas dinner and so on.

christmasstress

Perhaps you wonder what others will think of you if you break with tradition.  Stop wondering, be true to yourself, if the traditions are still relevant to you then by all means carry on with them, but if they are not relevant then stop following them.

Ask yourself how much of your planning for Christmas is led by guilt.  Be honest and try to weed out unnecessary obligations to lessen your load.

For instance, is it the norm for your relatives to all come to your house for Christmas dinner?  Do they expect you to invite them? Do you do all the food shopping, all the cooking?

Is this what YOU and they really want?  Have you had ‘the conversation’ regarding who really wants to do what on Christmas day?  It really isn’t a difficult conversation to have.

For instance, I asked my mother a couple of years ago if she wanted to spend Christmas with me or with my brother as she usually divided her time between us.  She said she would rather go on a tinsel and turkey trip with her friend and that is what she did.  She had fun, I wasn’t obligated and I could do what I wanted which was have a quiet Christmas at home with my husband.

christmas-dining-table

I know someone who went every weekend for five years to his father’s for Sunday lunch.  He packed up his car with his children and his wife and took the ferry to the mainland because he perceived this is what was expected of him.  He was beginning to resent these trips, which took up most of the day, and resent his father.

I asked him if he had had ‘the conversation’ with his father about having Sunday lunch with him every week.  He said no, but that he would.  He came back to me a few weeks later and said that his father was hugely relieved as he was getting fed up cooking a roast dinner each week, sometimes he just wanted to sit down with a sandwich, a glass of beer and watch the rugby.  They agreed to have lunch together once a month.  He got most of his Sundays back and he could do more things with his wife and children.

So do the same thing about Christmas.  Ask your relatives if they actually want to come to you this Christmas.  Don’t be surprised if they are relieved that you have asked.  You will probably find that you will have an easier time, with far less stress, with just as much fun, but fun that you want to have and not fun that is manufactured out of guilt.

What do YOU want for your Christmas? How do YOU want to look on Christmas day, worn our and resentful, or relaxed and enjoying yourself?

Festive Woman in Red Santa Hat

Budget for what you can afford to spend and stick to it.  Try and spread the cost of present shopping over a longer period. Consider a simpler version of Christmas dinner such as a buffet where everyone you choose to invite brings a plate of food.  Consider whether you are prepared to tolerate family tensions over Christmas, if not make the decision to have ‘the conversation’ with everyone concerned.

Remember, be the result of your decisions not of circumstances.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Impacting lives

A year ago I verbalised that I intended to impact the lives of a million people and help them to become the authentic people that they are. Help them to rebuild their confidence in themselves and their abilities and become functioning human beings again. The functioning human beings they were before they forgot how to function.

I was inspired by both my daughter’s journey through leaving an abusive marriage, staying in a refuge and making a new life and home for herself and her children.  Plus I was inspired by the work of a High Chief in Malawi who has annulled all the marriages of young girls and is getting them back into education.
Since that time I have written a comprehensive six module course, talked to domestic abuse services, safeguarding teams, ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships, gentlemen who have been homeless, have been addicts and are now on the road to recovery.
In January 2017, having applied for and been granted Lottery funding as Break the Cycle Community Interest Company  we are running two courses in Havant for ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships and one course here on the Isle of Wight for ladies who have been in abusive relationships.

IMG_1128
It is definitely a start, and I will reach that one million target, maybe not next year, but it will happen.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

What I have learned from business coaches

Over the past past four years or so I have worked with several business coaches.  Each one is extremely successful in their field and each one has taught me something.  Interestingly, what I have learned from them is exactly the same.

Each of these coaches, entrepreneurs, business people, has come from a different background, and some have come from different continents.  They are all considered to be ‘gurus’ and are highly acclaimed.  I have no reason to doubt this or their abilities. They are all very nice people too, I have met with each of them, spent time with each of them and admire their work and tenacity.

I have attended their retreats, their seminars and listened to them all intently.  I have even qualified as one of their coaches.

graduated

But, what have I learned from each and every one of them? I have learned they are very good at running their own businesses and creating their own wealth. I have learned that I don’t want to run my business in the ways they have been telling me to.

According to them each retreat, seminar, training, coaching session is a lead in to a more expensive programme or elite group.

I went down the route of offering free workshops and from these offering paid for coaching etc.  This didn’t sit well with me so I stopped doing these, even though I had great attendance and everyone enjoyed them and learned something.  And so did I.

This is not what I want to do.

So what do I want to do?

happydog

I want to work with people to help them regain their self-esteem and confidence so they can lead their lives as their authentic selves, rather than live their lives as others want them to. I want to work with people who have hit rock bottom and are now wanting to move upwards in their lives. I want to work with people who want to re-build their self-worth.

I thought long and hard about this and decided what I needed to do. I have obtained a grant from the Lottery to work with women who have escaped abusive relationships.  I have written a course, Mind the Gap, which is made up of six modules. I have met with the Southern Domestic Abuse Service and met some of their ladies who have been through the amazing Freedom Programme but who are now looking to move forward in their lives. And I am going to be running the very first pilot programme in January 2017.  I have 30 ladies signed up, the venue is booked in Havant, the creche facilities organised.

This is so exciting and feels right to me.  There is no sign up to a more costly follow on course.  The Mind the Gap is free to the attendees, who are all very excited to be included.

A programme will be starting in January 2017 here on the Isle of Wight too for women who have escaped from domestic abuse.  I want to work with men too who have escaped from domestic abuse and that is a work in progress.

I have also obtained funding from Island Roads Foundation to work with the homeless people, and those who have been homeless, here on the Isle of Wight.  And that will be beginning in early 2017 too.

I shall be applying for more funding to be able to work with more people both on the Isle of Wight and on the mainland.

That is what I have learned.  I don’t want to work in the ways that they work.  I want to work in the way that I work.  And that is a huge lesson and doesn’t make them wrong, but makes me more able to sleep at night and to know I am really helping people.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

by

Are all ‘conferences’ the same?

I remember going to my very first ‘conference’.  It was marketed as a Coach’s super conference where I would learn from a plethera of ‘world famous’ coaches and come away with lots of useful information.  I would learn a whole host of stuff. The cost was minimal for the actual conference, something in the region of £70 for a weekend, as the organiser was doing it to be philanthropic.  It was being held near an international airport in an hotel.  I decided I would go and booked my hotel room, and set off to learn something new.

I was sorely disappointed.  The very first presenter was Paul McKenna.  He spoke for two hours, gave everyone a free copy of his latest book.  He was extremely interesting and didn’t sell a thing.

After this the ‘conference’ went downhill rapidly.  Every speaker that followed on that first day was selling their product.  Whether it was a coaching course, a weekend of inspiration culminating in a fire walk, how to be a tv star etc.  Not only that, there was the pressing of the urgency buttons because the audience were invited to run to the back of the room to sign up now as there were only 9, 8, 7, 6 places left and so on.

emotionalwoman

And these products were priced in the hundreds or thousands of pounds.  Plus, if you signed up today, you could get the whole ‘conference’ on video to keep forever for only £xxxx.

I did meet some lovely people in the audience, some of whom were as disappointed as I was.

I stayed the night in the hotel, which was lovely by the way.  After breakfast the ‘conference’ continued.  By the first coffee break in the morning I had had enough.  I couldn’t take any more blatant selling.  So I left.  I went home. I vowed never to go to one of these ‘conferences’ ever again.  I did learn something at that ‘conference’, not to go to another one and not to do the same thing myself.

Of course, there are many ways these selling shows are created. They are billed as one day workshops, or weekend retreats. The main aim of these is to upsell, even though you do learn something about yourself whilst you are there.

iStock_000008538351Large (2)

And, of course, once you have bought into the upsell, and you have moved on to whatever course, product it is, there is always another, more expensive course or product to buy.

So, are all ‘conferences’ the same.  No, there are genuine conferences where you learn stuff that is useful to you and where you are not asked to buy something else much more expensive. But do beware, as I learned the hard way, that not all conferences are what they are advertised to be.  And, if it looks too good to be true, that is probably right, it is too good to be true.

If this resonates with you, and you have had a similar experience,  get in touch with me today and tell me about it. I will be really interested to hear about your experiences.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk