November 30, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Energy sapping people

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of energy, which can also affect your levels of self-esteem and confidence. We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make you feel the same! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

worried

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support you, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.
If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
Remember, nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

Your life is far to precious to hang around with people who are sapping your energy. Hold on to those people who boost your energy, challenge you to be your best self. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and feel energised.

So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Napoleon Hill says, “ Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

Coach, Mentor, Consultant, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website: http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook: https://goo.gl/ZByKGW
Email: hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

April 21, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Looking after YOU first.

How do you respond when someone makes a request of you and it really is not something you want to do?

I suspect you try and search for an excuse, such as I am busy that day, I have to wash my hair…..and all these excuses seem very lame to you. And so you say yes, against your better judgement.

BUT, what if you could respond confidently to the request? What if you could say no without guilt?

The question has just been posed. Pause. Were you going to say yes, even though there’s a voice deep down saying “no”? What possible reasons could there be for saying no?

It’s beyond your means?
It’s beyond your comfort level?
You have no interest?
You have to wash your hair?

Identify all the reasons you have for saying “no.” Identify which stem from a lack of confidence, which would be detrimental to you and which come from a sincere disinterest in fulfilling the request.

What would happen if you said yes? Perhaps:

You would be considered ‘one of us’
It would make your friend happy
Your visibility with other people may be improved
It would make you miserable

Would you feel comfortable with your self if you were to say yes, even though you knew it would not be in your best interests?

Saying “no” is hard for so many of us. A false sense of guilt often comes into play. Whether this guilt has its foundation in religion, a proper upbringing, or a world view that simply says “it’s not nice to say no”, we know it is there lurking in the background and make decisions based upon it, even though deep down, we know it is not right for us.

So you have made the decision, after scientifically weighing the results of your cost/benefit analysis, to honestly say “NO”. Practice it in the mirror. Say it clearly and self-assuredly.….in the mirror. Look yourself in the eye, and do it. Just say “NO.”

Say it like you really mean it, and then say it again as if you speaking to whoever asked you the question. When you pretend you’re speaking to the person who made the request, does it come out differently? Practice and experiment with different ways to say “NO” until you find one you’re comfortable with.

Then go, and say “NO.”

Sometimes, if you have always given in to others, guess what happens? After all that practice, getting the tone right and pretending you are talking to the person who asked you the question, you may just be surprised to find that they are not willing to accept it! They may try to push you to say yes, rephrase the question, or make a new, not altogether different, request. This is where your personal boundaries come in to play.

Know your boundary—what ARE you willing to do? Revisit the questions you asked yourself before. If you are really serious about saying “NO”, then stick to your guns. Tell the person making the request that you would appreciate it if they respected your wishes and boundaries, and ask them not to ask again. If you are comfortable expressing your “reasons why” then do so speaking from your personal perspective.

If you are going to say NO, you must say it in a way that means NO! In a firm, yet polite voice with a firm tone. Also, if you want to say the reasons why, keep it short and sweet. When saying NO remember the power of non-verbal communications. Look the person in the eye when you say the NO. Shake your head at the same time as saying NO. Stand up tall.

Don’t forget that when anyone asks a question of you, it is perfectly OK to say, “Can I think about that and get back to you”. No-one should be pressurised into giving an immediate answer. It will give you some time to think it through and to gather your thoughts. It will also give you some time to think about how you are going to say it, the words to use and your body language.

Practice makes perfect as they say! Remember you must look after yourself first. This is not selfish, it is a necessity. Practice in the mirror and soon you will:

feel much more confident and proud.
find that practice makes perfect—the more you confidently say “NO” the easier it becomes.
Others will respect your wishes and take you seriously the first time you say “NO.”
You won’t find yourself doing things you never wanted to do in the first place.
have more time to focus on the things you do want to be involved in.
The list goes on from there…

I have learned how to look after myself first and how to say no without guilt. I have learned that my boundaries are vital to my day to day living and that once people are aware of those boundaries they respect them and me. That isn’t to say that I always say no, I know when to say yes and when to say no.

So if you’re looking to finally take control of your life and make a change, why not drop me a line and we can talk it through.

To book in for a FREE 15 minute discovery call please Email me.

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor

Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio

Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.

Find out more about me on my website.

January 5, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Have you lost your identity?

Have you lost your identity? This may seem a ridiculous question to ask, but frequently we can forget who we really are. For instance it is often the case that you think of yourself, or other people think of you, as someone’s parent or partner, someone’s sibling or relative, someone’s carer or employee, someone’s companion or employer, someone’s nurse or gardener. The list can be endless. It is possible that frequently you are not seen as yourself but as an extension of someone else.

This very common state is generally brought about because your self-esteem has dropped to an all time low and ultimately you have lost what little confidence you had. You may not be aware of this lack of self-esteem initially as you have been viewed in this light for so long that you have got used to it. It has become your norm.

I know exactly how that feels. I was brought up by my adoptive parents to be who they thought I ought to be. I was frequently told as a child that I should be seen and not heard, and that I had no opinion of any value. This led to me go through life in a daze, trying to be who I thought I ought to be.

I spent thirty years of my life looking after everyone else’s needs and forgot all about my own needs and what made me happy. The one very special person I neglected was me!

Did I change this situation? When I woke up to the fact that this was not the norm – you bet I did, and it took some very hard work, beginning with changing how I thought about myself and my life.

Is there a solution for you too? Yes there is. And the action you need to take is this:

Break the old habits and thinking patterns that have prevented you from living your life to the full and realizing your potential.
Create new habits, new patterns, new beliefs that will empower you and set you free!
Accept and love yourself just as you are. This is the key to your ‘inner life’ makeover; and ultimately ‘outer life’ results will follow naturally! When you begin to feel great on the inside you will begin to exude confidence. Your circumstances will begin to change and develop as the inner happy you begins to shine out!
Listen to your intuition. It is there to help and protect you.
Be kinder to yourself – verbally, emotionally and physically.

I know how it feels to really want to make changes in your life, and not knowing where to start. My fears dominated me, my self-belief was in shreds and I had forgotten what makes me happy because I hadn’t been happy for so long, although I hadn’t realized it until I ‘woke up’. I had become a shadow of who I really was.

With the help of life coaching I began to change the way that I see myself and began to think strong positive thoughts about my life. I started to be grateful for the life I am living and to notice the abundance that surrounds me. Everything started to change for the better.

Learning to love yourself is tough to begin with, but with help and practice each day, you will succeed.

If you need help and are ready to start breaking those old habits, contact me today.

Maggie Currie

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April 25, 2014 by Maggie Currie

How do I know I have low self-esteem? And how can I change that?

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there. For me the following was very true:

I didn’t think I was good enough.
I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.
I didn’t look after myself, I put others first.
I let people manipulate me.
I was in a bad relationship.
I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.
I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn’t think I knew anything.
I was verbally and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession. This situation went on for 12 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.

When I eventually woke up to the fact that I was allowing this to happen, I decided to get out of the relationship.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope. My self-esteem went down even further.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Don’t despair, there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I now run two successful businesses that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 30 years to a wonderful man who loves me as me. I have retrained as a life coach and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it.

I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that’s why I can help so many people. I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

Stop thinking that you are not good enough. You most definitely are.
Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish – it is essential.
Before you think that you don’t have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.
There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it and you will attract it to you.
Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you.

By changing your attitude towards yourself you will notice that other people will change their attitudes towards you. It won’t happen overnight, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.

Don’t be afraid to ask me for help in facing your fears and peeling back the layers. Trust me to help you find the real you. I’m not the same as every other Life Coach out there. I work from my heart, incorporate emotion based coaching and inspiration from my own life experiences. You can trust me to inspire you, encourage you, support you, nurture you along your path of transformation. Do it for you, do it today. Get in touch today to take your first steps towards a more confident and intuitive you.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you find solutions to your problems.

Maggie Currie

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January 22, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a lot of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but they really don’t need to – For instance, the person who they had a row with, but both are not speaking to each other – but both want to. SO who will make the first move? ‘Should’ it be me or ‘should’ it be them?

The ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but you don’t.

This is very common going through or after divorce. You are not alone, I have done it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without and focusing on something more productive instead?

Are you like this? If you are, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Take a look at your life and get rid of this baggage by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise. In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Another term for this is “psychological completion” or just “completion”.

Answer the questions all in one go if you like, or over a number of hours/days. By writing the answers down they become more formal.

Get to it and watch your confidence soar!

Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

Create an action plan to get rid of/communicate these things that you have been putting up with. Take action!

Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Create an action plan of how to reduce this number! Take action!

Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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