If only I had known there were questions to ask myself thirty years ago, I would have been asking them of myself daily.
I spent many years being emotionally abused by my first husband, my parents, my in-laws. At the time I was totally unaware that it was happening.
For instance I was advised by my parents to stay in a marriage that wasn’t working because they felt I was too young to make a decision on divorce. I was treated as a possession by my husband who was obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair whilst out shopping with my three small children. My in-laws constantly told me I wasn’t good enough to be part of their family.
But now, after working so very hard to find myself and who I really am, I have thought about what was happening to me and how it affected me.
If I knew then what I know now I would be asking these questions of myself:
- Am I living my life for me or for someone else?
- Am I really happy with the way I am treated by other people?
- Is this all there really is for me?
- Why do I always feel so miserable?
- Why don’t people listen to what I have to say?
- I am doing my best to please everyone, why aren’t they pleased?
- I have no self-esteem, why doesn’t someone appreciate me for being me?
- I am going through life in a daze, is there more to life than this?
- I didn’t sign up for this, why am I being treated like an idiot?
- Am I invited along just to make up the numbers?
- Is there a way that I can make my life better?
Do any of those questions have some relevancy to your life today? If they do, even if only a couple of them, then you are being emotionally abused. You are allowing other people to run your life, and you are allowing them to judge you and make decisions on your behalf.
The answer to the last question is yes, there is a way that you can make your life better. Start living your life for you. Don’t allow other people to judge you, you are a person in your own right and deserve to live the life you want. There is nothing at all wrong with disagreeing with someone who you feel is wrong. The world won’t end if you move away from people who are causing you misery. If you feel you are being invited along to make up the numbers, then politely refuse the invitation.
You will find that when you change your attitude to other people, they will also change their attitude towards you. It will take time, but you will notice the difference and start to live the life you want to live and stop the emotional abuse.
I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.
Creedence – Confidence for You
International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author