A lot of people carry around with them a lot of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but they really don’t need to – For instance, the person who they had a row with, but both are not speaking to each other – but both want to. SO who will make the first move? ‘Should’ it be me or ‘should’ it be them?
The ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but you don’t.
This is very common going through or after divorce. You are not alone, I have done it myself.
Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without and focusing on something more productive instead?
Are you like this? If you are, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.
Take a look at your life and get rid of this baggage by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise. In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.
Another term for this is “psychological completion” or just “completion”.
Answer the questions all in one go if you like, or over a number of hours/days. By writing the answers down they become more formal.
Get to it and watch your confidence soar!
- Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
- Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
- Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life
Create an action plan to get rid of/communicate these things that you have been putting up with. Take action!
- Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.
Create an action plan of how to reduce this number! Take action!
- Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
- Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today
Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!
By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention units – those things that knock your self esteem.
If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning.
I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.