The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.
We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. Have you noticed how they make you feel?
They make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with a positive, ‘can do’ vibe that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.
We also know of those people who could moan for England!
According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!
These people drain the energy from the room, and bring everyone down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.
Some family members can be a lot like this, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your family!
What can you do to make sure that the people you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?
You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining our positive energy you have a couple of options. You can tell them how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it. Or if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and find someone else to drain.
The same can be said for your family. Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation. Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain. You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.
Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time to do something about it.
You may well find that you make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some other members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.
I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.
Creedence – Confidence for You
International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author
Great advice re elders. I find that they have been the most negative; they had reason for it, and they are not likely to change. But I can listen and, well, not retain their unhappiness, right?