Reduce your stress

Having too much stress in your life, will make you anxious, irritable and unproductive.  Stress will affect your relationships, your performance at work, your long term physical and emotional health and your quality of your life in general.  But is there a way to reduce unwanted stress once and for all?

Why is it that all we seem to hear about these days is stress?  Why does it seem to pervade everything we do?  Well the simple answer is that as a result of ever-increasing expectations and competition more and more people are spending increasing amounts of time making very good use of their natural stress responses.

The instinctive responses, our body’s natural reactions to protect us from danger, release stress hormones directly into the bloodstream.  These hormones bring about  instant mental, emotional and physiological changes that provide extra awareness, endurance and strength.  So if we were in a dangerous situation, they would help us to survive.

And because stress hormones get us fired-up, rather like sprinters crouched and waiting for the starting-gun, and because most stressed people don’t get the release of the race itself or they don’t give their bodies and minds sufficient time and space to rest after each stress-filled moment, the stress hormones just keep on working long after the perceived successful situation has gone. And as a result, we permanently have to endure these feelings of immediate danger and physiological, mental and emotional readiness, never able to relax and never able to feel at ease. It makes us feel tired too, so much so that we want to sleep, but because we are stressed we can’t get to sleep and so we toss and turn and increase our stress levels.

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This obviously has a dramatic impact on the quality of our lives. Stress causes a wide range of emotional problems including issues with anger, anxiety, addiction, panic and obsessive thoughts.  It can also affect our physiology such that we suffer from insomnia and the inability of our immune system to work effectively.

Perhaps your stress is caused by crippling pressures at work, or through an unhappy home life.  Stress can also be caused by health worries – real or perceived, by financial worries, through the raft of worries associated with mid life crisis, through being too alone or not alone enough.  As life gets busier stress is on the increase and more of us are looking for ways to manage stress.

A story, entitled “Stress and Memory,” summarises the results of a study published in the ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Online’ that shows how stress chemically alters the brain’ s capacity to retain information, even very important information like where one can safely get one’s head above water when dropped unexpectedly into a lake or pond. That’s the effect on mice, anyway.

Scientists have discovered that if they play very irritating hissing noises to mice, the mice are then likely to forget where they can swim to safety while struggling to stay afloat in buckets of water … according to a story published on the science blog ‘ScienCentralNews’.

So if it affects mice, what is it doing to us?

Do you feel overwhelmed by too many things to do?  Have you noticed lately that you wake up early or in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because your mind is racing?  Or have you been feeling more irritable about minor things at work or at home with your family?   If so, it sounds like there’s too much stress in your life.

Information-overload is one source of chronic stress.  We are bombarded with information from all angles every day.  From newspapers, television, radio, billboards, magazines, overheard conversations, the internet and so on. And most of what we are hearing and seeing is negative, which adds to the stress levels.

If you think that you’re the only one who’s suffering from your stress levels, think again.  New research suggests that one person’s stress can impact loved ones as well. Stress can be a huge source of misery in many lives.

Why not give it up?  Why not reclaim your life and start living the life you deserve to enable you to overcome your stress rapidly, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer and much more confident.  Quick fixes are hard to find, and often structural life changes are necessary to remove the major sources of stress.  Life coaching will enable you to overcome stress quickly and easily, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer, altogether more confident and most importantly, free of stress. Ultimately you will start living the life you desire.  Life Coaching will provide you with the tools required to avoid stress in the future.

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One of the tools you will learn to adopt is to stop getting caught in the avalanche of information – much of it negative as we know – that assaults you throughout the day.  Go on a news fast for a day, a week or a month.  Moderate your TV and Internet time.

Life coaching tackles life stresses in a more courageous way than many stress management techniques, because it invites you to take an honest look at the fundamental cause of your stress – namely – your life.  It offers both coping strategies for living with the status quo, but it also offers opportunities to change the status quo – thereby removing the sources of stress.

The life coaching process allows us to work together to find the sources of your stress and the routes to your happiness.  With the help of a Life Coach, you will design a new, better way to live, and you will find ways to make it happen. It isn’t easy, and it takes time, the Life Coach will support you in regular sessions to monitor progress, tackle problems, and help you to stay positive and energised. You will find the limiting beliefs which keep you down; you will remove these beliefs – springing the trap – allowing you to move into new ways of being.

As a result of these sessions, you will gain a better understanding of your stress (it’s rarely the way it seems at face value), you’ll see a better way to live, and you’ll move towards that better – stress-free life.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Get in touch with me today via the contact page of my website. Work with me to reduce your stress levels.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a huge amount of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t need to.

There are many ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but for some reason you don’t.

This is very common in several areas of life, in particular going through or after divorce.  You are not alone, I am guilty of doing it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without rather than focusing on something more productive instead?

If you are, I bet it is having a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Stressed Businesswoman

Take a look at your life, be honest with yourself and begin to get rid of this baggage, bit by bit, by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Answer the following questions honestly.  You can do it all in one go or do it over a period of days.  By writing your answers down they become more real and the changes more attainable.

Get to it and over a short space of time you will notice your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

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 Make an action plan to make changes in your behaviour or communicate to the person involved in these things that you have been putting up with how you would like them to change their behaviour. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan of how you are going to make some changes to reduce this number! Take action!

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that knock your self esteem. And you will definitely notice the results in the way you are more confident and more aware of what you will tolerate in your life.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Are you being emotionally abused?

If only I had known there were questions to ask myself thirty years ago, I would have been asking them of myself daily.

I spent many years being emotionally abused by my first husband, my parents, my in-laws.  At the time I was totally unaware that it was happening.

For instance I was advised by my parents to stay in a marriage that wasn’t working because they felt I was too young to make a decision on divorce.  I was treated as a possession by my husband who was obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair whilst out shopping with my three small children.  My in-laws constantly told me I wasn’t good enough to be part of their family.

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But now, after working so very hard to find myself and who I really am, I have thought about what was happening to me and how it affected me.

If I knew then what I know now I would be asking these questions of myself:

  • Am I living my life for me or for someone else?
  • Am I really happy with the way I am treated by other people?
  • Is this all there really is for me?
  • Why do I always feel so miserable?
  • Why don’t people listen to what I have to say?
  • I am doing my best to please everyone, why aren’t they pleased?
  • I have no self-esteem, why doesn’t someone appreciate me for being me?
  • I am going through life in a daze, is there more to life than this?
  • I didn’t sign up for this, why am I being treated like an idiot?
  • Am I invited along just to make up the numbers?
  • Is there a way that I can make my life better?

Do any of those questions have some relevancy to your life today? If they do, even if only a couple of them, then you are being emotionally abused.  You are allowing other people to run your life, and you are allowing them to judge you and make decisions on your behalf.

The answer to the last question is yes, there is a way that you can make your life better.  Start living your life for you.  Don’t allow other people to judge you, you are a person in your own right and deserve to live the life you want.  There is nothing at all wrong with disagreeing with someone who you feel is wrong.  The world won’t end if you move away from people who are causing you misery. If you feel you are being invited along to make up the numbers, then politely refuse the invitation.

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You will find that when you change your attitude to other people, they will also change their attitude towards you.  It will take time, but you will notice the difference and start to live the life you want to live and stop the emotional abuse.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Friends and family who sap your positive energy

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with a positive, ‘can do’ vibe that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

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We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people drain the energy from the room, and bring everyone down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

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Some family members can be a lot like this, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your family!

What can you do to make sure that the people you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining our positive energy you have a couple of options.  You can tell them how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it.  Or if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and find someone else to drain.

The same can be said for your family.  Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation.  Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain.  You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time to do something about it.

You may well find that you make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some other members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Self worth

My view of my self worth has been very low recently.  I hadn’t actually realised it until today when I read the following message I received this morning from Abraham:

‘Worthiness, in very simple terms, means I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting.’

I was indeed practising the art of not allowing – not allowing myself to receive the abundance that I so truly deserve.  Somehow I had become blocked and was feeling that I was not at all worthy.  My skills were of no use to anyone and therefore nobody new would be coming to me for coaching.

Dealing with emotional abuse

Fortunately, this missive from Abraham resonated with me on many levels.  It made me remember just how self destructive negative thinking can be. I know this is true, but I am just as liable to negative thoughts as anyone else, although I do endeavour to keep thinking positively as it benefits me, and my clients, so much more.

I thought about this for a little while and it came to me that I have not been giving myself the recognition that I so richly deserve.  I have been hiding my light under a bushel and that is now going to stop.  It also made me stop and think about how I felt going through divorce.  I felt even worse then, I had no self esteem or feelings or self worth.  I thought I would never be able to hold my head up again, let alone change my life.  But I did change my life and the way I see myself and it has made such a huge difference to my life.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I work with fabulous coaches who love and support me, teach and coach me, learn from me and are coached by me.  I have so much to offer my current and potential clients and my passion is in coaching people to become who they really are.

With modern technology anyone in the world can access coaching via Skype, phone, instant messaging and so many other ways.

My own self worth has increased dramatically since I began writing this blog and will continue to do so, especially as I remind myself of all my successes. That doesn’t mean I have a big head, I don’t, I know my own self worth and I am proud of it. I am worthy and I shall not be wasting my time or energy on negativity any longer.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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