Are you being emotionally abused?

If only I had known there were questions to ask myself thirty years ago, I would have been asking them of myself daily.

I spent many years being emotionally abused by my first husband, my parents, my in-laws.  At the time I was totally unaware that it was happening.

For instance I was advised by my parents to stay in a marriage that wasn’t working because they felt I was too young to make a decision on divorce.  I was treated as a possession by my husband who was obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair whilst out shopping with my three small children.  My in-laws constantly told me I wasn’t good enough to be part of their family.

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But now, after working so very hard to find myself and who I really am, I have thought about what was happening to me and how it affected me.

If I knew then what I know now I would be asking these questions of myself:

  • Am I living my life for me or for someone else?
  • Am I really happy with the way I am treated by other people?
  • Is this all there really is for me?
  • Why do I always feel so miserable?
  • Why don’t people listen to what I have to say?
  • I am doing my best to please everyone, why aren’t they pleased?
  • I have no self-esteem, why doesn’t someone appreciate me for being me?
  • I am going through life in a daze, is there more to life than this?
  • I didn’t sign up for this, why am I being treated like an idiot?
  • Am I invited along just to make up the numbers?
  • Is there a way that I can make my life better?

Do any of those questions have some relevancy to your life today? If they do, even if only a couple of them, then you are being emotionally abused.  You are allowing other people to run your life, and you are allowing them to judge you and make decisions on your behalf.

The answer to the last question is yes, there is a way that you can make your life better.  Start living your life for you.  Don’t allow other people to judge you, you are a person in your own right and deserve to live the life you want.  There is nothing at all wrong with disagreeing with someone who you feel is wrong.  The world won’t end if you move away from people who are causing you misery. If you feel you are being invited along to make up the numbers, then politely refuse the invitation.

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You will find that when you change your attitude to other people, they will also change their attitude towards you.  It will take time, but you will notice the difference and start to live the life you want to live and stop the emotional abuse.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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An incredible year

This year has been interesting to say the least.  It began in January with my birthday ‘tour’.  I decided that instead of having a fixed birthday party I would take my celebrations on tour.  I started here on the Island and then went to the mainland, to Portsmouth and then to Essex.  I met up with friends and relatives who maybe I wouldn’t have seen if I had kept the party here on the Island.

I had a great time and really loved seeing all those people and enjoying celebrating with them.

February brought the birth of my newest granddaughter, Tabitha.  She, of course, decided to arrive on 29th – so only one birthday every four years for her.  I went to visit her of course when she was only a few days old, and she is beautiful. She is now 10 months old, crawling and ‘chatting’.  Below is Tabitha at about 6 months.

 
March was uneventful, except for helping out a friend who is a florist delivering flowers for Mothers’ Day. The car was full of bouquets, arrangements and choccies.  Lovely gifts.
 
In April I helped out at a charity fashion show.  I helped to dress the models and ensure their quick changes were just that, quick.  I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was also invited to attend the Isle of Wight WI Annual Conference as a guest of their speaker Lucy, who I had helped with her relationship.  She thanked me publicly and it felt so good to be appreciated.
 
May brought a visit to the theatre in London to see a play called ‘Noises Off’, starring Celia Imrie. A very funny play, brilliantly done.  Loved it.
 
In June I was given tickets to the Electric Woods at Robin Hill Country Park, an evening of music and illuminations.  Brilliant.  Two more trips to London to see Blood Brothers, a stunning musical play, and War Horse – just fabulous.  The horse was a puppet, but you didn’t notice and got emotionally involved with him all the way through. I was also invited to display and sell my books at Newport Minster by a local writing group.  This was really good.
 
July was the beginning of the festival and event season.  I spent a wet weekend at Smallbrook Stadium in a caravan providing head massage for a wonderful group of bikers.  I also started an open coaching group at a healing studio in Newport and this was quite successful, although I don’t think I will repeat it.  A trip to Scotland followed to work at Rewind Festival Scotland, providing head massage to the masses.  Again it rained, but we had a good time and met some lovely people.  I was interviewed on WC4S Radio via Skype and had a great time. I also helped out at the local talent show for under 18s.  A great day too.
 
August brought a wedding in Essex, we took the caravan and stayed nearby.  Then we went to see Grease the musical at the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton. Excellent. A day spent in Cowes for Cowes Week and then off to Henley for Rewind Festival Henley.  That weekend was so hot, 93 degrees, we nearly melted.  Then it was Faux Fest at the Donkey Sanctuary.  A festival of tribute bands. It rained, and rained.  I sold raffle tickets and met some of the ‘stars’. Below is ‘Michael Jackson’.
 
 
September was very busy with coaching and mentoring, getting my car fixed after someone kindly donated a dent whilst I was parked in a supermarket car park.  
 
In October I won some tickets to see Level 42 at Portsmouth Guildhall. Great concert.  Two more trips to London to see the play Jumpy starring Tamsin Greig.  Excellent.  And then to see A chorus of Disapproval with Rob Brydon, Ashley Jensen and Nigel Harman.  Very good and very funny.  Then off to Mayflower Theatre Southampton to see Sarah Millican. I also began being the resident life coach on a radio programme called “Calder’s Confessions”, this is all about real people’s life problems and hopefully I am bringing some much needed help. October also brought the birth of my very first great-granddaughter.  
 
November brought another trip to the Mayflower Southampton to see The Mousetrap.  A very interesting play.  Typical Agatha Christie.  Then a trip to the Nuffield Theatre Southampton to see Francesca Martinez, and lovely young comedienne.  Very funny. 
 
In December I was interviewed on Power Women Radio by Deb Jones via Skype.  I had a ball. I also spent two days at a local high school conducting mock interviews for the year 11s.  Great fun drawing out their good points and giving them tips on interview techniques.
 
All through the year I have also been coaching lots of women, creating a new online course to help professional women going through divorce or getting over the aftermath.  I have undertaken a marketing course which has turned out to be fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone.  Take a look here if you would like to find out more about this amazing course.
 
 
What will 2013 bring? I know it is going to be a year of creativity, coaching, teaching, mentoring and helping lots of people to change their lives so they can live authentically and on their own terms. That is my intention for 2013.
 
I know I am really looking forward to the coming year and building on the foundations started this year.  I think it is going to be fabulous.
 

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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