relationships

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Blaming Others

When we understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we could feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behaviour. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behaviour.

Young Woman Biting Her Finger Nail — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

Perhaps the problem lies with the action of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward with the feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to learn to rebuild your self confidence, understand how forgiveness works and change the way you are thinking about what you think about yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t understand the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Gaslighting is very subtle

Gaslighting can feel so subtle in the beginning. A passing comment that makes you doubt yourself. A quiet dismissal of your feelings. A disagreement where you walk away wondering if you really did remember incorrectly. That’s the tricky thing about gaslighting it often starts small, almost invisible, until one day you realise you’re questioning your own reality. For many, gaslighting is a trait of a narcissistic relationship, a way of another person keeping you off balance and unsure of yourself.

If you’ve experienced this, understand that it’s not your fault and you’re not imagining things. Gaslighting is intended to confuse you, but the fact that you’re noticing it now is a sign of your strength. When you can name these patterns for what they are, you can begin to reclaim your confidence, rebuild your sense of self, and take meaningful steps toward healthier relationships.

Healing from the effects of gaslighting and narcissistic behaviour is possible u and it’s a deeply empowering journey. You deserve to feel grounded in your own truth again, to set boundaries that honour you, and to trust your inner knowing. There’s a brighter, more peaceful chapter ahead of you, and every small step you take brings you closer to the love and respect you know you have always deserved.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to learn to rebuild your self confidence and change the way you are thinking about what you think about yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t understand the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Love your work

You always have a choice but you forget that you have it. Do you remember the energy and enthusiasm you had on the first day of your first job? You consciously chose to do the work you had gladly accepted to do. But then you gradually fell asleep to the choice you made, and the day became “I have to” go to work, instead of “I want to” go to work. You forgot to see all the opportunities which come with work – opportunities like learning, nourishing and being nourished by others, developing new relationships, expanding your personal capacity. Instead you decided it was just something that you had to do to ‘get the money’.

This is why most people are sleep-walking through their lives, and they don’t know it. The solution, choose your work every day, put the energy of love into your relationships…every day, even if you don’t particularly like your job or the people around you. And you’ll be amazed at how your life transforms. When you choose to put love into what you do, the universe will move heaven and hell to let you do what you love.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you develop a positive mindset and create lasting changes in your life. What are you not happy with in your life? What are you happy with in your life? Find out how to change some of your habits for a better life.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Coming back to centre in a relationship

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that coming together and moving apart is all part of the journey.  Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are vital to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the relationship begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter equally, such as work, family, and friendships. This is both natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and care as in earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will take care of themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express belief, love and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Being alone

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from conception onward – this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling beliefs that you should set aside your own needs for the needs of others.

Until you know yourself, however, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

happy young woman sitting on floor in studio with closed eyes

Photo by Natalia Kycha on Pexels.com

It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We can now support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

When we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we often find that there are times where being alone nourishes us while we find other times in which a partnership is best for our growth.  We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory.

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognisable roles or not.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship -the one with our true selves.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?  Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

sunset beach people sunrise

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

We also know of those people who could moan for England! They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

  1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.
  2.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as previously mentioned above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Fear can block our creativity

That sounds daft I know but take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story.  Imagine yourself telling the story to someone you love and who loves you.  You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight, the feedback, even without words,  is positive.  Now, imagine telling that same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable.  The wonderful descriptions, the fine points and colourful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves.  Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will most likely feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down.  When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

young couple in casual clothes enjoying coffee and chatting

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Being aware of this is a positive as we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. Being in the flow is something that happens, not created.  It happens because we are so enthralled and wrapped up in what we are doing, that time flies by and before we know it a whole day has gone by.  Achieving being in the flow is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel uneasy and fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a creative and powerful antidote. Ensure you have everything you need to be creative. Have your right pens, paper, equipment ready.  Make sure you have a drink nearby, and something to snack on.  Play your favourite music if it helps.  Think about what creates the perfect space for you to be in the flow, and then let it happen naturally.  You cannot force it.  Flow will happen when your setting is right, when you are not fearful or being judged and you feel safe and warm.  Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events.  Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but it is still there, consuming our mental and life energy.

Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward. It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.

​Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go.  They will never move on until they do. In fact, quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

happy women hugging

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life.  If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction.  If, however, we  focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

​If you or your life is “stuck”, then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past.  Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself.  So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past. The future has yet to happen, it is an incomplete equation.  We cannot predict how it will turn out. ​In this moment now, you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference.  You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future. If you want to feel free, released from the past, then you must forgive.  Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions, and it is okay to experience them.  However, these emotions damage your ability to move on.  You must accept your emotions, but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

Look around you, do you know anyone like that?  Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them?  None. The past can never be changed.  Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are. Remember to listen to your innate thinking, your inner voice when it tells you how to forgive.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Maintaining our energy and confidence levels

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self-confidence.

photography of woman surrounded by sunflowers

Photo by Andre Furtado on Pexels.com

We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room, often just by walking into it!

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to..

Some family members can be a lot like this as well,  we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.
  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Choosing to have a partner or being single

The ways we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to stay healthy, entertain ourselves or make a living.  Some people choose to enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society as a whole tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel absolutely free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.

man in black long sleeved shirt and woman in black dress

Photo by Jasmine Wallace Carter on Pexels.com

Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself.  You will have more time and space to discover what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else’s choices in mind.  Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment’s notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms.  Companionship, support, and affection will be found while spending quality time with your friends, colleagues, and relatives.  There is also the fun that comes with being able to date many different people without having to make a commitment.  Choosing to have a partner, on the other hand, brings with it an opportunity to share your life with another person.  There is comfort in the knowledge that you are facing the world with someone as a united front.  When life is challenging, you are in a position to strengthen, as well as give each other comfort. There is also the inevitable transformation of self that comes from allowing another person to be so intimately a part of your life.

Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can change their minds about wanting to be with another person or wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives.  Whether you seek out a partner or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk