The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence. We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.
How do they make you feel?
Yes, they make me feel the same! The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self-confidence.
We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room, often just by walking into it!
It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?
These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to..
Some family members can be a lot like this as well, we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.
So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?
- We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.
- If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
- The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
- Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.
We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us.
If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING